My Kids Keep Coming into Our Bed at Night

We had a very similar situation (co-sleep and then up in our bed on a much to regular basis). I didn't want to ban them from our room, so we did a compromise. We had a sleeping bag on the floor next to one side of the bed -- and if they wanted to come up with mom and dad, that was where they could sleep. We played up the "big kid" aspects (too big to sleep in our bed, etc.). Over the next several weeks they came up less and less -- and even when they did, they weren't in the bed which made for better sleep all around.

Funny that you mentioned you need a Supernanny because you know what she would do! She would make you put the kids in bed consistently for at least 3 nights in a row until the behavior stuck. I remember watching those shows and how horrible it was for the parents. (I think it would be easier to start on a weekend, even though that's why YOU are most likely to allow them to just stay in your bed.)

Anyway, not wanting to be an advocate for having a TV show solve your problems, I have to recommend any book by Tracy Hogg, the "baby whisperer." She does that same 3 night routine with infants and it works wonders. And yes, the first night it definitely would seem easier to just let them sleep with you. However, by the 2nd night the time spent crying is cut in half and by the third night the baby just stirs a little and then falls back to sleep. The baby whisperer is not an advocate of just letting the kid cry it out on their own either. She will go in and comfort the child, but he or she must stay in his/her own bed.

Tracy Hogg has other books out: Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers, I believe. There may be others too. My friends rave about these books and I may just purchase one myself instead of just getting it from the library.

Anyway, I think if you're willing to stick with it for a minimum of three days (possibly more), you're going to have weeks, months, and years of peaceful sleep for your hard work.

P.S. I wouldn't go sleeping in their beds if I were in that situation. Your bed is for you and your husband. Personally, I would probably start to feel some resentment if I had to move to another room.

I'v e never let my kids sleep in my bed, because once you do it's hard to stop, but I don't have to tell you that. We have had other sleeping problems, such as constantly waking up and comming in to check on Mommy, to break these habits I have used a reward system. For my daughter each time she slept thru the night without comming out of her room she got to put a sticker on the calander, once she had 7 CONSECUTIVE days then she got to go to the store and pick out a $5 item, we did this for 2 weeks and by then the night waking habit was broken.
If my kids are sick and need to sleep with me I sleep in their bed, that way it is easy for me to leave once they are asleep and ok.And they don't get used to being in my bed.
Good luck, hope this helps.

We did the family bed for almost 6 years--2 boys 19 months apart--and the first thing I would like to say is that people make you feel bad for doing it. We put an end to it for, because we were getting tired of it. (Also, my 4 year old has mini-accidents almost every night and by putting him in his own bed we could put pee pads on the beds in their room.)

Talking with other parents, having your kids crawl into bed with them is very common. I guess the way you deal with it just has to be according to what you are comfortable with, not with what Society says should be the proper sleeping arrangement. Set limits where you need to, and remember why you chose attachment parenting in the first place. If I have learned anything as a parent and teacher, it's that there is no one right answer and you have to do what works for your family.

Unfortunately, this is something you and your husband created from the beginning. I don't blame them for wanting to crawl into your bed. (It's where they are comfortable.) If I were you, I would go crawl in one of their beds or sleep in your guest room when they come to your bed. Let the boys sleep the rest of the night with their dad since it doesn't seem to bother him. Eventually, they should out grow it.