Insomnia After Having babies...am I Alone?

Hi K., try "silent nights" sleep patches by Lifewave. Work like a charm!!!! For more info go to Lifewave.com/kherihealth Order it and try it. You'll be glad you did.

I have to agree that it seems to me it's more then insomnia alone and seeing a therapist would help tremendously. Also, I wanted to point you to a book that helped me to some degree - "Say goodnight to insomnia: The six weeks, drug free program" by Gregg Jacobs from Harvard. You are definitely not alone. Good luck!

Sounds like anxiety and possibly depression. I'd recommend seeing a therapist/psychologist and/or psychiatrist. I had some post-partum depression last year when my daughter was 3 months old and we started trying to put her in the basinette to sleep and I was not getting enough sleep. Especially with the losses you have had, it's definitely a good idea to see a psychologist.

I used to have that problem. Part of it for me seemed to come with this hyper-vigilance that seemed to come over me being the mother of a newborn, I began to wake at the smallest sound and always be prepared for reaction. Then the insomnia began to get to me and I just dreaded the thought of getting woke up and stimulated and not being able to go back to sleep. I became really agitated if anything or anyone would wake me up at times, and also really frustrated if I did get awakened because I'd obsess over whether I'd be able to go back to sleep and how it was going to make the next day miserable. Sleep deprivation can really build up over time and mess you up. Finally, I was around someone who would say "just go back to sleep", like it was so simple. I realized that a lot of the reason I couldn't sleep again was because I had so much anxiety about it. So I just decided to tell my mind and body that I COULD actually go back to sleep, and it worked. Now whenever I wake up I just relax about it and I fall back asleep much easier. I also took care of anemia, which contributes to insomnia a lot. And thirdly, I found some little trick to use, like only using nightlights or flashlights if I have to get up at night, use a product called "Rescue Sleep" (works great) or Hyland's INSOMNIA pills, and also, what works like a charm is to eat a dish of applesauce (natural, no sugar). Especially when I was pregnant, this was a lifesaver. For some reason my son, who was always a 2am feeder, had me waking up hungry at that same time even when he was still in my belly. I always had my husband get up to get me the applesauce because he could go back to sleep in seconds and if I had to get up it wasn't such a sure thing.

Sweet dreams! --- S.

Of course you have insomnia with everything you've been through! Having a child is a big enough stressor in itself, but having a newborn, AND a 3 year old, AND major losses.... your supports are gone at a time when you need support the most. Drug therapy works best in conjuction with talk therapy. I know it's hard to find time, but I think you need something more right now. Have you looked into therapy? At least think about it for now, if only to help you get through now and deal with all of the major changes that have happened for you in the last 3 years. But no, you're not alone. I think we all change in many ways after having a baby. I still get sad sometimes with only 1 child. Just don't minimize all you have been through. Good luck.

Hello,
My name is G. and I have been dealing with SEVERE insomnia since my daughter was born on August 31, 2012. Most nights I can't fall asleep and if I do, my body wakes up within 2-4 hours and my heart is just racing. I have literally gone days straight without any sleep and felt like I was just going to die, but now my body is used to it (which is crazy). I thought that once I returned to working long 12 hour shifts at work, that I would tire out and fall asleep but that didn't happen. I have been back to work now for 2 months and still not sleeping. Sometimes I go to work on only 1 hour of sleep and still manage to stay up at nights.
For two months after birth I toughed it out and didn't take anything because I knew I was going to be waking up to feed the baby and there would be no point. Since my mother lives with me, when my baby was 8 weeks old I started to let her sleep with her just to see if it would help but it didn't. My baby is 4 months old and still sleeps upstairs with my mom and I still can't. The baby has been sleeping for up to 12 hours a night (yes up to 12 hours a night) since she was 2 months old. At around 2.5 months I started taking Melatonin, then Valerian root pill, Chamomille tea, Valerian root tea, hot milk, honey, cherry tart juice, lavender sprays for my pillow, massages; etc. I even ordered the $100.00 "My Pillow" and nothing.
After having none of those work, I then started going to my PCP which prescribed (Ambien, then Ambien CR, Lunesta, Restoril). After trying all of those and still no sleep at all I started seeing a sleep disorder doctor. He has tried me on Trazadone, Mirtazapine, Klonazapam, and Xanax. I'm currently on the Xanax and it only helps me sleep 3-4 hours, but last 2 nights ago I stayed up 2 days in a row. I had a sleep study done (which I only slept 3 scattered hours) and it was negative. I saw a Chiropractor for 3 weeks to see if having my back adjusted would help but it didn't help me sleep. I then went and saw an Endocrinologist as well and all my lab tests were NORMAL.
For the record I have no depression, anxiety, or even stress (while my husband and I work my mother takes care of our girls, cooks, and even cleans). Even though I hardly sleep I still go to the gym 4 times a week. I even work out on the days I get ZERO sleep to see if I can just tire out and NOTHING. I have even been working with a personal trainer to see if I can tire out and NOTHING. :(
I have noticed no-one has really posted on here in a few years and I was wondering if any of you moms have been through this (in terms of trying all most everything like I have and NOTHING works to sleep). Did your insomnia ever go away? I have been like this for MONTHS now and starting to loose hope. Please help.
Thank you,
G.
Email: ____@____.com

Here's another mom to say, "You're not alone in this." I've struggled off and on with insomnia for the past 12 years. The good thing is, I've learned to manage it for the most part without drugs and with a totally new attitude towards sleep.

That said, when my father was killed last summer, I went back on medication sleeping pills and was much better off for it. There are just some situations that require self-care, be it therapy, sleeping pills, or whatever else you feel might help. Be very kind to yourself and get the care you need. The intensity of the feelings will wear off, but grief is a long process.

I actually received medical help; my insomnia was getting so bad when my daughter was an infant that it was hugely impacting my everyday life (emotional, physical, intellectual). I didn't realize how bad it was (the "No, no, I'm fine" syndrome) until my husband urged me to seek care. I've noted the two best books below that were recommended to my by the sleep research center where I received care.

One book for you to help your children sleep:
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth
http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp....
Helps you get over the guilt of encouraging them to sleep through the night on their own.

And a book for you by a premier researcher on sleep disorders from Stanford University:
The Promise of Sleep, by William Dement.
http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp...
The most helpful tool in this book is a sleep hygiene plan which, if followed, can help you achieve a great night's sleep, drug-free.

Good luck with this - you've got a community rooting for you!

You're not alone. Many women have problems sleeping. It seems motherhood breeds worry. I am a light sleeper and my hubby's snoring often interrrupts my sleep. Then I can't get back to sleep once my mind starts racing. It's hard to deal with and I don't have any sure-fire solutions (I'm still looking for them myself). I'd stay away from the medicines like Benadryl, tho. You need to find ways to get a good night's sleep naturally. Newsweek magazine had an in-depth cover story about this subject -- insomnia in women -- maybe a year or 18 months ago. Maybe if you search its website for back issues you can find it? It was reassuring in that it explained how there are many reasons women don't sleep well. You may need to speak to a counselor to deal with grief or anxiety. Read a few books on the subject and try different things. Yoga? Herbal tea? deep breathing? til you find something that helps. Good luck -- wish I had a for-sure solution to offer!

Oh, you are not alone! I have had difficulty sleeping since my 3 1/2 year old was born. Never had trouble before, but the night feedings put me on "pins and needles" waiting for the baby to cry to be fed and I never really got over it. Even though he was consistently sleeping through the night by the time he was 3 months old. I also have a 26 month old and he was sleeping through the night after 2 months, but I still had trouble sleeping.

For me, I believe it is stress. I do not cope well with the possibility of being needed during the night. It makes me feel like a terrible mom, but it is the truth. And even though my kids sleep well, there are always things that come up, sickness, teething, troublesome dreams, whatever the issue, there are still occassional interruptions during the night. I am fortunate that my husband is sympathetic to my sleeping troubles and he will get up during the night with the boys when it is necessary, and he never has any trouble getting back to sleep. But he is a Marine so he is gone a lot and I am on my own.

Losing your mom and your sister are huge and I'm sure they contribute a lot. Any kind of additional stress in my life makes it even harder to sleep. I have been doing better lately. When my husband is home on weekends, I sleep with earplugs and that really helps (I don't want to use them during the week because he gets up and leaves really early and I am afraid I won't hear my boys if I am needed after he leaves for work). I also recently went through a nutrition/wellness program through a Chiropractor/Nutritionist in Orange County. It is prohibitively expensive, but I learned that my adrenal glands (the glands that help you deal with stress) were over-stressed and not able to function. Through getting my adrenals healthy and learning to make more time to relax, my sleep is improving.

I wish I had a simple solution for you because I know how awful it is to be a momma of two little ones when you are so exhausted. But I hope it helps at least to know that you are not alone. If your husband wants someone to talk to - I'm sure my husband would be happy to talk with him and he can know that he is not alone either! They can commiserate together about having their wives being stressed-out, insomniac mommies!

I have to go now, but if you want to "chat" about this more, feel free to reply. I will be happy to give you my phone number or email if that would help. But you're not alone! There are at least two of us!

You are not alone and I have come to understand, we are never alone.
I used to sleep hard, but since motherhood - yikes. I think in the past year I have slept through the night twice and my child has nothing to do with me not sleeping. I remember begging her to sleep through the night so i could get back to my old self. Turns out mother nature had different plans for me.
Look on the back of your healthcare card. There should be a number you can call to be referred to a therapist over the phone. When you speak to someone, do not make light of your situation - they may chose not to cover you. Being a new mom and dealing with the death of your family is extremely serious. I found talking to someone, even once, gave me the help i needed to keep growing and moving forward.
Time is needed too.
This can't last forever. At some point we mother's must sleep.
Much happiness and healing to you and your family.

Hi K.,

I'm a new subscriber to mamasource and I sincerely hope that I am writing to a real person because I am taking the time to respond to this from one moms heart to another.

First and foremost, I'm so sorry for your family losses. It is devestating to loose close love ones, for both you and your children and the impact of your loss will forever change and effect you and your family.

I feel that I totally understand having experienced a similar loss with mom and dad when my son was 3 and 4. He's 6 now, but after 2 years, it still often seems that the only time I allow myself to grieve or worry or be sad is in the middle of the night. I suspect that depression may be part of the reason for your sleep insomnia and the kids poor sleep habits. But, before you put any more guilt on yourself, stop right there, don't go down that path and read further, because I'd like to share with you what helped me. (And it for sure wasn't guilt- which is absolutely a worthless waste of time and energy!)

From experience, I've found that as I take care of my depression in healthy appropriate ways (more expercise, some time alone during the day whenever I can get it, grief support group, reading, giving up caffine, eating better, or whatever you need to do to help yourself) that everything else becomes more manageble. I also took a great parenting class that helped me get better control of that part of my life. Through that class I learned new skills which help me enjoy my family life more. The parenting class also gave me permssion to direct some time and energy on my needs, away from my son and for the first time I understood the importance of doing that. Time alone to be by yourself or time without the kids to share with other adults is especially important for you in the grieving process.

None of this is easy, and I'm not a psychologist, just a mom who was in a similar situation and learned that improving everyone's sleep issues only became possible after I started closely examining other areas of my life. I realized that sleep deprivation was a symptom, not a cause of my problems and that helped me get out of the vicisous cycle that you described and that I was also in. At my lowest point I considered talking to a doctor about taking a mild anti-depressant. But as time passed, the other things began working for me. However, if you are unable to get motivated to even take a first step, you might talk with your doctor about taking an anti-depressant so you can get started working on the areas of your life that you have been neglecting.

Best of luck to you.

D.

sorry about your losses i know how hard that can be and how that can affect your life..you say you're taking supplements..are you taking Kava Kava? if not try the pills not the liquid..also i take something for anxiety called "Chill Pill" u can get it at the health food store. I don't sleep well in my own bedroom unless i take something..but if i sleep in another room i'm fine.
could be the street sounds...also its good to picture a safe place..when i can't sleep i picture myself in a cabin in the woods..a fire is going..it's freezing outside and raining and i'm warm and safe inside..it takes my mind off everything else and helps me relax. also try sleeping with your head where your feet usually go..sometimes changing positions helps. i used to have really bad insomnia..then i stopped sleeping with underwear on and it went away..no panties no bra.
Do u exercise? if not ..join a gym w/ a daycare if you're a SAHM..i do spinning class the most..you don't have to just do machines there are lots of fun classes and it takes your mind off of everything and you get proper exercise so that you are tired later.
you're probably thinking too much..you need to train your brain to relax..that's why picturing a safe cozy place is good..takes your mind off everything else and relaxes you..make up your own or try my cabin*
good luck, i really hope you start getting rest..don't take melatonin b/c it makes your body stop producing it's own.

First of all . I'm so sorry. I too don't sleep nearly as well as I used to and spend the day trying to wake up. I NEVER feel rested. So I feel your pain. Traditional medicine has not helped and I take iron to help with the fatigue. If you've had your thyroid checked and it is normal then I would STRONGLY suggest chiropractic or acupuncture. I have a FABULOUS chiropractor in Huntington Beach area. Let me know if you want the number. She is great and I have been using her for 8 years.

Good Luck!!

No your not alone. I developed insomnia with my fourth pregnancy. my son is now 20 years old. I seem to suffer more around that time of the month. It sometimes lasts several days. I have tried natural remedies too. I try to stay on a routine and go to bed at the same time every night. I don't drink caffeine either. Sweet dreams.

You've already gotten a wealth of suggestions here. The only thing I would add, would be to get your thyroid levels checked (TSH, T3 and T4). When my levels are at a normal level (for me that's around 3 for the TSH), I feel normal and sleep normal. But when I am stressed, or the week before my period, I have insomnia, and usually my Thyroid levels are off.

Having children and dealing with the losses you have had are a lot to deal with. Definitely getting some exercise each day and eating better will help. But it also helps to have someone to talk about what you are going through, so maybe therapy would help. Or just having a honest conversation with someone you can trust will help. I don't know how I would have gotten through the tough stuff I went through a few years back without my hubby and without my two best friends to lean on.

Also, don't forget to take some Mommy time each week. Whether it's a 20 minute bath while your hubby takes the kids to the park so you can have a quiet house or a long walk at the beach with a good friend without the kiddos. It will do you a wealth of good.

You could also try acupuncture. It's working for me.

Listening to the book "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle on CD's is helpful. It helps you understand how your mind constantly keeps going when you want to fall asleep and also puts life into perspective.

I have insomnia connected to my monthly cycle so I feel your pain. But you sound as if you have anxiety in additon to the insomnia. Have you sought therapy related to the incomplete grieving? Children bring a lot of anxiety for busy, caring mamas, and sometimes it's hard to shut down at night. Develop a nightime routine for yourself. An after dinner walk, bath, reading, get out of bed when you cannot sleep, DO NOT lie there thinking about sleep. But I think perhaps a visit to a doctor might help you untangle the grief, anxiety and insomnia, and get on track to help.

I had the same problem after my first son and my doctor prescribed ambien cr. I took it for two weeks and it got me back on schedule but it wouldn't recommend that if your kids are still waking up at night. But you could try just the regular ambien.

I also had terrible pregnancy insomnia and now that my son is 12 months i'm still having trouble sleeping (although my son is sleeping fine) I've tried all the natural stuff and am now taking a low dose of klonopin which seems to work better. You can't take this however if you are breastfeeding. I had to stop breasfeeding to take this but it did help me get sleep. It's very hard not to sleep when you are taking care of a baby! Let me know if you find anything else that works as I want to get pregnant again but really don't want to go through the whole insomnia thing again...

1) I would consult your Doctor or OB/GYN... hormones fluctuate after giving birth as well... in addition to other things. It takes about 1 year post-birth for the body to normalize.

2) I would be careful in taking too many things at the same time... even if it is staggered.. the interaction of all these things can cause/trigger insomnia and upset the normal REM pattern of a person.

3) you want to be careful that nothing you are taking is "habit forming."

4) be careful in what you are taking... ANYTHING can/will potentially be in the breastmilk too, which you are feeding your baby... and cause problems in baby too.

5) don't take all these things, thereby "self medicating" without knowing what you are doing... best to go according to a Doctor's advice.

6) Attending or finding a "grief support group" is truly VALUABLE in overcoming all the stresses/emotions of this loss. I HIGHLY recommend it. When my Dad died, my Mom on her own, found and attended a grief support group.... it helped her IMMENSELY. She still attends from time to time, even though my dad died 8 years ago. I HIGHLY recommend this course of action to help you.

Here are some links on bereavement groups in Honolulu:
http://www.google.com/search?q=grief+groups+in+honolulu&a...

7) Your Hubby is right to be concerned about you... it's nice he cares and expresses this to you. That's what marriage is....communication and support. Be thankful... that he is thinking about the ramifications of your well-being and that he is even aware of your well being.... he is simply trying to help you... if you turn him away....he may just stop trying. You don't want that....

You are dealing with a lot on your plate... tell your Hubby this is NORMAL. If anything, SHOW HIM THIS and all the responses you get back. You need to address these issues and get proper help. A baby and children, need a Mother that is at peace... and happy/healthy... they can feel the vibes of any negativity.

All the best, and I hope you seek appropriate channels of help and support, and "medications."

take care,
Susan

K.,

you are so not alone!!! My first born had colic he'd wake up every 2 hours to feed and it would take me 45 minutes to breast feed him! And I could never nap! Needless to say, I was a walking zombie.
Being tired all the time led to depression and of course fatigue...it's really amazing how much our lives have changed since we had children. I did end up seeking medical help for insomnia my doctor perscribed a great pill that has a very short half live so I don't wake up groggy and it's not habit forming. I only take it as needed.

I think our hormones may play a big role in insomia, my second son wasn't as challenging as my first and he started sleeping through the night ALOT sooner than my oldest. One thing I noticed too is I hear EVERYTHING...maybe this is because I'm a mommy now.

Here are a few things that helped me, maybe they will work for you.

I use white noise to help me go to sleep, i.e. fan, my radio makes cricket noises-this helps drown out all those little noised that would wake me up. If I was really desperate for sleep, I would put earplugs in of course your probably still doing night feedings, when I was in this phase I would put one earplug in and lay my other ear on the pillow so that I could fall asleep, knowing I would roll over and still be able to hear my son when he was hungry.

My insomnia has gotten better, I've learned to nap when I put the boys down, I lay down wether or not I nap. I don't have caffine after lunch or any sugar after dinner. It hasn't totally gone away, but at least now I can wake up and feel like I slept. I still wake up 1-3 times every night to go to the bathroom, tend to a crying child, or just because.

I empathize with you-I do recommend seeing your doctor to advise you on what your options are. Believe me, I've tried all the home remedies.

I'll be thinking of you,

C.

Hi K.,

You are not alone!! And, unless there are other medical reasons, YES, the insomnia ends!

This is how I know: At 35 years old, I had a 9month old, a 3 year old with autism, and was caring for my husband after he suffered a severe brain injury. I was awake every two hours for one of them. I had a really tough time settling back in, especially after the adrenaline rush of the medical equipment waking me.

I am now seven years out from that experience, and my kids and I all sleep well (husband did not recover).

So, your brain/body should reset itself....also, I recommend one of those sound machines (ocean, rain, etc) and some scent like lavendar, to help calm you.

Best wishes

Seriously, I bet some therapy would do WONDERS for you . . . maybe give you a chance to get it all out constructively so that it doesn't keep you up at night. I was always anti-therapist until I tried it . . . saved my life. See if maybe your OB knows someone who specializes in post baby stuff.

Good luck, and no, you're not alone . . .

guess what we are the same...almost all moms experience this...my kids and my husband are all asleep for so long then when Im about to sleep after sooo many hours of tossing and turning,thinking how to fall asleep, then my baby will wake up and ask for milk...I feel like sleeping is not rest for me...Im on night and day shifts...so frustrating...sigh...

I feel like still working while sleeping...my husband sleeps like a log, I dont get help from him with the baby...Out of frustration I tried drinking a piece of sleeping pill and it worked, good thing my baby didnt wake up or I didnt know coz I was asleep?!...I dont want to get addicted to the pill but helps once in a while...sometimes I think I dont function that well, moody at times becuase of lack of sleep..sometimes I sleep when the baby sleeps, but I just lay down and cannot Sleep...so when they are all awake with lots of energy, Im still a sleepy mom but needs to wake up for them, its another busy day..whew!

Hi, You are not the only one. I also have experience insomnia. I can fall asleep quickly most nights, but when I am woken up by the baby, it will take me hours sometimes to fall asleep. The other night I was actually up until about 3am. mopping and sweeping because I couldn't sleep and wanted to be productive instead of just laying in bed for hours. My brother also has passed away in the last 6 months. I have had a lot of stress this year as well which contributes to my mind never shutting off. I haven't tried anything as far as sleeping pills. I have a Dr. friend who says the first thing he recommends is tylenol p.m. Before he prescribes anything. The other thing is I try not to nap during the day so if I have a night like the other night I can just crash the next night. I hope that helps and sorry to hear about your losses. It is hard. Good luck.