How Young Is Too Young to Leave Kid Home for an Hour?

wow. My kids are almost 9, 7 and almost 4. I'm hopeful that when my oldest is 11 I can take a 45 minute walk around the neighborhood and leave them all home. I'd leave them with walkie talkies to get a hold of me (if the oldest doesn't have a phone by then), but yes, I think many 11 year old cans be left home alone for the better part of a day if need be.

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wow. My kids are almost 9, 7 and almost 4. I'm hopeful that when my oldest is 11 I can take a 45 minute walk around the neighborhood and leave them all home. I'd leave them with walkie talkies to get a hold of me (if the oldest doesn't have a phone by then), but yes, I think many 11 year old cans be left home alone for the better part of a day if need be.

Definitely old enough! I was babysitting by the time I was 12. You're teaching her great life skills in having her home alone for short stretches like that. Back in the 70s and 80s, kids much younger stayed home alone and no one thought twice about it. We were a much more independent generation because of it.

Our kids did the red cross babysitting course at age 11. It's for kids 11 to 15 I think.

It was good for teaching them what to do if someone came to the door. If someone called asking for us. If there was a fire, etc.

There may be one that's for younger kids on staying home readiness. I think my friend mentioned her child took it (again from Red Cross). I haven't seen that advertised myself.

I would start small. See how she does. It also depends on the child. One of mine actually didn't like being home alone until they were a bit older.

It depends on the kid. I leave my eleven year old home alone for 3-4 hours at a time and not worry. He knows how to get a hold of us or a neighbour if he needs to. He knows not to answer the phone if he doesn’t recognize the number and screen calls. He knows not to open the door to strangers. He knows not to use the stove when he is alone. He is not afraid of being alone. I started leaving him for short periods when he was younger, like 10 or 15 minutes while I drove his brother to an activity, then worked my way up to leaving him for an hour while I get groceries. If your child is mature, level headed, follows directions, isn’t fearful and has an emergency plan she should be absolutely fine. In a year she will be able to babysit other children, so it is a good idea that she get some practice looking after herself. I highly recommend a “home alone” class if you have any in your area.

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It depends on the kid. I leave my eleven year old home alone for 3-4 hours at a time and not worry. He knows how to get a hold of us or a neighbour if he needs to. He knows not to answer the phone if he doesn’t recognize the number and screen calls. He knows not to open the door to strangers. He knows not to use the stove when he is alone. He is not afraid of being alone. I started leaving him for short periods when he was younger, like 10 or 15 minutes while I drove his brother to an activity, then worked my way up to leaving him for an hour while I get groceries. If your child is mature, level headed, follows directions, isn’t fearful and has an emergency plan she should be absolutely fine. In a year she will be able to babysit other children, so it is a good idea that she get some practice looking after herself. I highly recommend a “home alone” class if you have any in your area.

When I was 12 I was babysitting 2 kids under 5 daily after school.

I would leave her for an hour or so and I wouldn't tell my mother.

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When I was 12 I was babysitting 2 kids under 5 daily after school.

I would leave her for an hour or so and I wouldn't tell my mother.

Assuming that your daughter is normally obedient and responsible, I don't see a problem with leaving her in the situation you describe for a speed-walking hour. Like the others said, some kids are fine being left alone briefly at age 10, and others you wouldn't leave unsupervised for a second even though they're 17. It all depends on reliability, common sense, trustworthiness, and an established pattern of safe behavior.

However, I'd post a clear set of rules, and I'd role play those scenarios. For example: no microwave or stove use when mom is outside. Then role play: "it's just a cup of mac and cheese and I've microwaved it before, and I'm hungry", she says. You direct her to the posted rule and make sure that the snacks she's got access to are clearly identified (cups of apple sauce, juice boxes, etc. The mac and cheese will have to wait.

And I wouldn't rely on her being able to go down to the concierge. I'd get a cheap, no-frills, no internet or text-capable phone (like from Walmart) and save it only for those times when you're going speed-walking, or later on, to the grocery store. Stress that this is not for calling friends, but for calling 911 or your cell, and lock the phone away when you're both home. And make sure to post your number on the rules sign - even though she knows your number, haven't we all forgotten something that we know like the back of our hand in a moment of panic? If she got scared or felt sick, don't make her have to remember your number by heart. Program the phone.

Just make sure that you don't get more and more comfortable leaving her alone when she's only 10. Don't let the power-walking end with a trip to Starbucks, or catching up with a girlfriend, or going for an extra couple of miles. If you tell her you're power-walking for one hour, regardless of whether she's happily watching tv or even napping in complete safety, then be back in one hour, no matter how great your walk was going. That helps set a precedent for reliability and demonstrates responsibility to her. I know, it's so tempting to say "I'm sure she'll be fine, I could just zip away to the store even though my power-walk is finished", and before you know it, a couple of hours have passed. Keep to your word.

My son was 11 when we started small trips out alone without him. About 15-20 minutes at first to see how he would do. Occasionally when I got home I would ring the doorbell to see if he would follow our procedures set in place. (He always did.)

By the time he was 12 he could stay an hour to an hour and a half. He knew not to cook anything, how to handle the door, not to go outside to play, etc etc.

He has a younger sister and they can stay home alone together about an hour before I know they will start fighting. So if they both stay home it has to be a short trip. She is nine and now can stay about an hour alone but she is more mature and responsible than he is actually.

They both have access to phones to call me. I wouldn't leave her unless she had access to her own phone to call you. And I can be home in under ten minutes.

It is actually safer now for our kids to play outside alone. Stranger abductions are lower than they were in the 70s. But all other bad things that can happen are still at the same percentages. Then again we could all die in a car wreck on the way to the store....so good luck in figuring it out. I think each child is different.

I'd leave my daughter home alone under those circumstances, and I wouldn't tell my mother about it! (Your mother's wrong - things weren't "different back then" - people just didn't talk about it and there was no internet!) Kids build confidence by having responsibility.

I'd tell my daughter no friends over and no use of the stove (up to you with microwave or toaster oven - maybe not on the first few occasions), and I'd control what's available on the computer. There is a concierge/guard downstairs - no problem! If you have a land line, great. I don't think calling your cell is a great plan in an emergency - you could be 1/2 hour away. So your daughter needs to be able to call 911 or the concierge, with those numbers posted by the phone. I think the concierge should have your number anyway, and not just for your daughter - you can't count on your daughter forgetting it if she's in a panic.

I don't think you need to leave drinks in the fridge - it's not party time. There is a faucet and a cup in the kitchen and the bathroom. And she certainly wouldn't starve in an hour either - she can plan ahead! She ought to be able to make herself a sandwich at this age, and if she can't, she's too young and ill-prepared to be left alone.

My son used to ride his bike while my husband jogged, by the way - you could consider having your daughter go with you by bike or roller blade at least half the time, in exchange for the privilege of staying home alone. If she's active in other ways, maybe it's not a big deal, but if she's sedentary and tied to screens all the time, make her work for the privilege of staying alone.

You don't mention your daughter is unusually irresponsible or accident prone so absolutely fine to leave her. My youngest is now 11 and I started leaving her quite a while ago. She's very responsible and careful and we have close neighbors and all. Sounds like you do too. And when I mention to her friend's mother's I may need to leave her for bit, they all say they leave theirs too. And most are still 10. I agree with Diane also. It was not different years ago. Well, statistically I think it was worse... I think you are fine.

I think it's fine as long as it doesn't break any laws set for age limits, so like the others have said, check that first.

My son started staying by himself for short periods of time at 11. He is very mature for his age and I trained him in what I expected for about 3 months before. Many of his friends were staying alone before him. We travel a lot so he's already pretty savvy on safety. I do have a cheap phone that he keeps when I'm gone. He also has the numbers of trusted adults programmed in so there's always someone he can get ahold of. (We are rural so when I go into town to shop for groceries it's at least a 40 min trek each way not counting shopping time.

I've always told him unless he gives me a reason not to trust him, he's set. He values his independence and so far has had zero issues.

Um, nearly 11 is not too young to stay home alone. Your mom needs to cool it.

The question is, is your daughter fine with it? If so, then you are fine. If your mom brings it up again, suggest that walkie talkies would be a great gift. Seriously.

I think that you could totally leave her for an hour! If you are super concerned, does she have a way to call you if she has a question (other than walking downstairs alone)? How about calling her at the 30 minute mark to see how she is doing the first couple of times? Gosh, if we can't leave an 11 yr old alone for an hour . . . I fear what the world is coming to.

One other thing - have you asked HER about it? Some kids actually don't want to be left alone or think an hour is too long. You could consider "role playing" staying in the condo and having her pretend you are not home for an hour so she can see how it feels.

Finally, if an hour IS too long (which I am guessing she is totally fine with it), you could start at 30 minutes for the first week just to see how it goes.

As far as checking into your state/county laws regarding this, while it certainly is a good idea, and I am not advocating that people run around a break the law, I must admit I've not heard of an 11 yr old not being old enough to stay home. Maybe they can't babysit according to law (although here they take babysitting training at 11), but I'm thinking they can sure be home for an hour alone.

Good luck!!!

ETA* I know you are not in NJ but another mom mentioned 12 - here is what I found on the NJ DHS website: The State of New Jersey does not specify any appropriate, legal age to leave a child or children home alone. I also checked Florida (if that is where you live) and found they also do not set a age. see http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/11042014-the-lega...

Of course it depends on the maturity of the child. I was on my own after school at age 7/8 and had enough common sense not to leave or open the door (unless the house was on fire, my parents words.) My own daughters were babysitting for $ at age 11, they even took a course and got a certificate at our community center.

I think it would be perfectly fine. Just tell her on what to do if someone calls or rings the bell. It would be great if there were a phone that she could call you from if she was worried or had a question. I think 11 is the perfect age to start leaving them alone for small periods of time. Of course it depends on the maturity of the 11 year old. I was alone all afternoon every day and much of the summer at that age. I was babysitting at age 12. Ignore your mom criticizing you. Maybe say, well, thanks for giving me your opinion (and then do what you want!).

We've done the same with our 10 1/2 year old. You have to start somewhere, right? We've started with short trips to the store or other short errands.

FYI, it's funny to hear you say that a rural area would be less safe than an urban area. It's all about what you're used to, but most rural areas are actually far safer than urban areas. I can assure you, I would never worry about my boys wondering off into a forest. You give them clear boundaries (don't answer the door, no cooking, etc), and part of what you are doing is checking to see if is responsible enough to follow your instructions.

Age is more than just a number, and safety is determined by more than just a person's surroundings. Is your daughter responsible? You gave examples of times you've left her on the couch and nothing bad happened, but why is it that nothing happened? Was it luck? What would have been likely if someone rang your bell while you were downstairs? What if your daughter's show ended, would she have been likely to try to cook something on the stove... without experience using the stove? What if she suddenly felt ill and threw up. She wouldn't want (or be able) to go downstairs to get the concierge to call you. What would she do?

In order to help figure out the safety side, we need information on how responsible your daughter is. Have you discussed various emergency scenarios with her and coached her on appropriate responses? Have you ever seen her in a crisis... how did she handle herself? Does she have any "street smarts" and common sense or does she lack "common" sense like some kids (and adults even) sometimes do? Does she have a phone in the house? A cell phone? Does she know how to use a fire extinguisher? Has she been taught how to properly use the appliances? You can start a fire with a microwave if you don't know how to use it (and what NOT to put in it).

Those things aside, most kids her age *should* be just fine. Many kids are responsible and mature enough to babysit other children. But there are skills they need to know to do it, it isn't *just* their age.

FWIW, my daughter was 10 when I started leaving her home in the day (with her 13 year old, and probably less mature than she at that time, older brother) while I drove a few miles up the road to run a 3 mile loop a few times a week. I would be gone about 70 minutes, on average. It was a little stress inducing... sometimes kids in groups come up with things to do that a single child alone would never think to do. We have a pool. And a dog. They were all fine. We discussed what needed to happen if they "need" me while I was down the road. I had a phone ON me, and they had phones at home, etc.

My son was younger when he stared staying home alone by himself after school. Bit it depends on the maturity of your child. Also check laws in your state. Texas doesn't have age restrictions. We made sure be knew how to get ahold of us. That is when we got him a cell phone. There bring security in the building is good but if something happens you might not be able to get down there she may need to access a phone from inside your condo.

If you feel she is a responsible kid who wouldn't get into trouble, and who would feel comfortable being alone, then I definitely think she's old enough to be left home alone for an hour. My son is 9 and plenty of his friends get left home for an hour or so. I would leave my son home alone, but my husband works from home so he's always here.

I get the impression that you don't have a home phone. If you're ready to leave her home alone, there needs to be a way for her to contact you directly, and I don't mean through the condo concierge. Look into getting a home phone, or a basic cell phone for your daughter, or a gizmo pal watch. If she is scared or has a basic question, she needs to be able to reach you. She shouldn't have to leave the condo and go downstairs to call you.

It's going to depend on the kid.
Some I wouldn't leave home alone if they were 22.
Others do fine.
10 is a bit young.
I'd say more around 12.
By 14 most kids can babysit younger kids.
Some states have laws about it but not Florida.

https://www.dcf.state.fl.us/programs/childwelfare/caregiv...

She sounds like a responsible, competent child who can handle being alone for an hour. Use your own mothering instincts, and let your mom's complaints go in one ear and out the other!

The recommendation from the State of Florida is 12.

https://www.dcf.state.fl.us/programs/childwelfare/caregiv...

If you feel she is mature enough NOT to open the door, knows how to call 9-1-1 and such? I would be okay. She's YOUR child. You know her best. If she says she can handle it? Let her try.

It really depends on the child, but for a responsible child who knows what to do in an emergency, I think 10 is old enough to be home alone for an hour.

My only hesitation is this - does she have access to a phone at all in your apartment? If she doesn't have access to a phone, I'd get her one. If you don't have a landline, maybe one of the cheap prepaid flip phones, and your number programmed in. I wouldn't want her to have to go to the guard if she has a simple question that she needs to ask.

That said, check your state laws. Where I live, the law specifically says that this is up to the discretion of the parents.

To start home along training you do need to cover some basics first.

Such as rules.

Can she cook anything while you are gone? No stove top/baking? Use Microwave? Can she have anything plugged in that normally isn't going? Such as a hair dryer? Washing machine? Small alliances such as a toaster?

Who can she call if she gets scared? Can she call a neighbor if she thinks something is wrong? Who can she share she is home alone with?

What if something happens to you while you're out walking and she can't reach you? You don't come home on time? What happens, plan B?

Can she be online? Texting friends? Watching TV?

Can she answer the door? If it's someone she knows knocking? Is there a safe word that the person has to say that will allow her to hear them say then she can open it to them?

Once you have through this through and decided what she can or cannot do according to where you live and who is around you then you have to give her a chance to succeed or fail. By that I mean leave her for a few minutes by going next door or down to the mailboxes, going to your car and cleaning it out with her alone in the house, this will give her a gradual initiation to hearing the house, noises that normally occur that we don't notice unless we're alone and it's quiet.

When we started letting our girl be home alone she was 10. We live on the same property as my father in law and we go clean his house and do things for him when he needs us. So we'd go to his house and let her be "alone". We were not that many feet away but she was in fact alone in the house for the first time. She heard noises and the wind and a few other things from nearby neighbors and stuff. It sort of scared her just a bit at first. So by giving her time to get used to it she was able to know she was okay.

Another thing we did, if we left the property, was to tell the neighbors. I'd call each one and let them know we were doing home alone training and if it was okay with them could we tell our girl if she got scared or something was going wrong could she call them and they always said yes.

I trust my neighbors a lot and I've known one family for nearly 24 years. The other neighbor has worked in law enforcement and has had various serious background checks and I've worked with a couple of his family members over the years. He's the best neighbor we've ever had. So I trust both of these families without doubt of any sort. If something happened to me I'd be completely comfortable with our girl going and staying with them for days or even weeks. I have a great support system in my neighborhood.

You might not know a single person in your building that you'd trust that much. That's okay too. Don't just trust them because there isn't anyone else. Do you have a best friend? A family member? That could step in and take her if something happened to you? That she could call if you're not home on time?

These are all things you have to consider and make decisions on. She is more than old enough to stay home for an hour. Some kids her age stay home all day long by themselves when school is out and mom/dad have to work. Childcare providers don't usually offer child care for kids 10 and above because they just don't have many kids that come. Once they get to middle school they don't need a babysitter. They're almost old enough to babysit other living beings.

My thought is if they're old enough to take care of others then they better be used to taking care of themselves first. And learning home alone time is an important step is self sufficiency.

In NJ the youngest age for leaving children home alone is 12.
It would serve you well to know what that age is in your town and state.

What is the legal age in your state? In MD, a child can stay alone for an hour at the age of 8. When they hit 9, the time restriction is lifted. We let our 9 year old stay home alone, depending on the time of day and how long we will be gone. All 3 of my kids are responsible, but *I* don't love leaving them home alone at night. During the day, no worries.

I would let my kid stay home in your shoes. Keep the door locked, don't answer the door, etc.