How Young Is Too Young to Have Your Kid Stay Home by Themselves for an Hour or 2 - Palmyra,PA

Updated on August 28, 2010
N.A. asks from Palmyra, PA
30 answers

My ten year old is starting fifth grade an normally she goes to her grandmother's after school until I can pick her up. She's usually there for about an an hour and half to two hours. But my mother says she cannot do this Tuesdays and Wednesdays this upcoming school year. I'm looking into other possibilities, but I'm wandering if she is at the age where she can just get off the bus at home and stay home by herself til I get home.

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B.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi It's my understanding that in PA it is against the law for any child under the age of 16 to be "home alone". Good luck

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A.S.

answers from Eugene on

5 th graders seems to be when kids start to do stay home alone. Trading play dates some days is an idea so she isn't bored or lonely.

K.I.

answers from Spokane on

I think she is old enough.

What do you think? Is she responsible? Will she be able to NOT invite friends in the house OR NOT play with the stove OR NOT answer the door?

More Answers

L.A.

answers from Austin on

If she is a mature child and you know she will follow the rules you set, I am sure she will be fine.

I remember being a latch key kid at 8 yrs old also. The rules were simple.
Call when I got home.
Lock the door.
Do not answer the door.
No one was allowed over to play.
Never use the stove.
Work on homework.
We had 2 neighbors I could call if I felt lonely or frightened. (never happened).

Our daughter was 10 and stayed here for a few hours at a time, when I had meetings or ran to the store. She did great.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Depends on the kid. I was 10 and had an 8 year old sister when I stayed at home for a few hours after school. Establish a routine, rules, emergency contacts with neighbors, etc. Obviously, if you have a neighbor she can stay with, or friends with kids, etc., that would be ideal. Good luck!

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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A.B.

answers from New York on

I was a latch key kid by 9. Had to call mom at work, lock the door , do HW and don't have friends over. My GF is in a diff situation and has her son walk home by himself and let himself in and he is 8. The only rule that is different is he has to call her from the house phone. All kids have cell phones so she just wants to garauntee he is in the house. This boy is incredibly mature and self sufficient. As long as you feel your 10 yr old could handle it and you feel in general your neighborhood is fairly safe it shouldn't be a problem.

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J.C.

answers from Lincoln on

Only you know your daughter. My son was very responsible at age 10 and I had no problems leaving him home alone. He started babysitting at age 11 and did an excellent.
So if your daughter is responsible and trustworthy I would say its time to trust her with this big step.

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M.L.

answers from Houston on

It depends on her maturity. I was old enough to stay home by myself at that age, but my brother at that age, no way.

We had rules of course, do not answer the door, we could answer the phone but not say anything like, "my mom isn't here now" I would say, "She's busy at the moment, can I take a message?". I wasn't allowed to play outside, or have people over, or do cooking, and I always had emergency numbers I could call if needed.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

It TOTALLY depends on the kid.
My son was fine at 10, but he was very responsible. He knew the rules and followed them to the letter.
As soon as he got home, he called to let me know he was in the house. He knew not to answer the phone unless it was me, his grandma, or the neighbor. He was not to answer the door no matter who it was.
My mom and neighbor knew not to just come over because he wouldn't answer the door so they would call me first so I could let him know it was okay. My boss even stopped by one day and my son wouldn't answer the door. His feelings were a little hurt, but hey....no answering the door meant NO answering the door!
Now, I've known 10 year olds that shouldn't be left for 15 minutes. One friend had to put a key lock on her bedroom door because just running to the store, her kid made a bee-line to start rummaging through mom and dad's stuff. Another time, she let a friend in and they ran a bunch of minutes up on dad's cell phone. She did everything she was NOT supposed to do so obviously, she wasn't ready to be home by herself.
I think in California, 11 year olds are not "required" to have day care. It's either that or they no longer subsidize it for work purposes, etc. I'm pretty sure 11 is the cut off.
Does your daughter's school have and after-school program? My son's school had an excellent one through the 8th grade and there's always a waiting list to get in. It's free. They help the kids with their homework, play games, do projects with them, provided snacks. You just have to be there to get your kid by 6. I would ask about that. You'd know where she was and that she was safe and my son liked it because he used that time to get his homework done instead of having to do it in the evenings.
Some days he just wanted to come home though and he did fine with it.
If you think your daughter can be responsible, you can give it a try. If she breaks even just one rule though, then you will need a back up plan.
Do you know another mom who lives close by and could give her a ride two days a week to make sure she gets in the house safely?

I hope you get some great responses!

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G.B.

answers from Tulsa on

Since a child can take Red Cross babysitting classes at the age of 12 years I think they should be able to babysit themselves before they start taking on another person's children. I think 10 years old is old enough in the "RIGHT CIRCUMSTANCES".

Another trusted adult in the near vicinity, like a neighbor they can go to if something is wrong. The ability to cook light meals for themselves, like popcorn in the microwave or a cheese tortilla, simple things. Can be trusted to stay where they are restricted to, such as they aren't allowed to play outside, not answer the phone or door, things for their safety. If they are able to follow these simple directions then they should be able to watch themselves.

I started out leaving my 8 year old alone for a few minutes while I ran to the store for a few things. My BF was on the next block and was avail. for her. It was a disaster the first time, she went out in the backyard and started a fire...every fire truck on campus plus the city was at my house when I got home...I almost never trusted her again. She thought it would be nice to cook out. We lived in married student housing on campus and didn't have a grill so she got a dutch oven out of the cabinet and put dead grass in it and lit it up.

I think that kids need safe places they can spread their wings and learn from their mistakes. So, as long as your child can be safe, and have the support they need to succeed, then they should be able to learn this skill and be home alone for several hours.

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R.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I know the law in MD is 8. I' not comfortable with that, but it's the law. I would NOT do it at 8, and obviously you are the same because you are questioning it for 10 :o). I think if she has a cell phone, you have an alarm, and neighbors can watch her get in the house, she would be okay for an hour or two. That's my take having kids not old enough to do it. So I am not sure whatI would say when they are. Check the law in your state though. And you know your area, are you comfortable with it? Do you trust your daughter to go straight home and call you as soon as she gets in? If so...give it a try and see how it goes :).

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J.A.

answers from Spartanburg on

Oh I would definatly say she is old enough. I think it depends on your child. My parents started leaving me home for about an hour in second grade to go to the grocery store. By fourth grade I was by myself if they went out to eat with friends at night. I am pretty sure they let our neighbors know when I was by myself and they always left phone numbers for me.

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S.B.

answers from Chicago on

It depends on your daughter and her maturity level, I think at 10 you could go either way. Is there a neighbor that wouldn't mind looking after her a couple days a week? Or maybe a friend's house?

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D.P.

answers from Raleigh on

I started being a latch key kid when I was in 3rd grade. Back then, no one thought a thing of it. It depends on the maturity of your child. If she is mature enough, and can follow ground rules you lay out (locked doors, no friends over, do all your homework, etc), then I think 5th grade is ok. Do you have neighbors that can keep an eye out for her also? I would just make sure that you are home before dark when the winter months come. I would think that would be the only thing that would make me nervous- leaving a child at home alone after dark.

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D.K.

answers from Washington DC on

I was babysitting at the age of 11. I think 10 is old enough so long as your daughter is of normal maturity and doesn't have any kind of delays or behavioral problems. Just establish a solid and unbreakable list of rules like the other posters mentioned. Let your daughter know that you are trusting her and you expect her to reward that trust by remaining worthy of it. Let her know that this is a way for her to earn her stripes so to speak.

Best of luck to you.

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R.C.

answers from York on

I was about this age when I began staying home alone after school for 1 1/2 hours until my mom got home from work. I had neighbors who were home that I could go to if I needed them. I also had to call my mom when I got home so she knew I was there safely. I had rules, like no stove, no friends over, etc.

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M.I.

answers from Pittsburgh on

We stayed home for an hour at that age, BUT we had a family member who lived next door to us. Well, next door there is like 4 houses down in city/urban areas, but you get the idea. How mature is your daughter? I have an almost 13 year old sister, and last school year was the first time she was allowed to do that. However, she wasn't ready before that. Do you currently let her stay home by herself if you run to the library, bank, corner store?those are short trips, and may be a way to ease in to the idea of being home alone for an hour or so a few days a week.

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M.V.

answers from Houston on

Is there any state law concerning this matter?

P.W.

answers from Dallas on

It depends on the child but i would not consider it in most cases until 12. I'm the careful type I know, but do you really trust a ten year old not to open the door to a stranger, or even to a friends father, or other kids. And walking home alone from a bus creeps me out. My niece and nephew decided to climb into a neighbors yard and go swimming without supervision. The brain is just not developed enough yet....... in my humble opinion.

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H.H.

answers from Philadelphia on

I was a responsible kid when I was younger. Good grades, stayed out of trouble. BUT when I was 11-13 I went home with an older sibling after school and made some very bad decisions. I did also babysit at this age (for across the street, when my parents were home). After school, most kids have nothing to do and usually walk home together and things can happen. I would really explore all other options. A few hours when you run to the store is different than having scheduled time at home alone. Even if you could have a neighbor "watching out" would be better. This is just my experience, but I fell into some things this way that could've landed me in a lot of trouble. Luckily, I straightened up and wound up fine. I still do not know why I made such bad decisions, but I've always regretted them.

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J.F.

answers from Scranton on

I started leaving my now 11 year old son home alone for short periods of time when he was ten. My cell and his step dads cell are programmed into our home phone so he can call us anytime. I think that for an hour or two she would be fine so long as you have her call you or your husband or a neighbor to let them know she is home. Set the rules up! ours are no friends over the house when home alone. He is not allowed to answer the phone unless its a number he knows and he is not to tell anyone he talks to that he is home alone. My neighbor who is always home is also aware he is home and keeps an eye on things for me. This is showing him we trust him and with t he neighbor home to keep an distant eye on things I am able to know he is watched while not knowing it LOL! Good luck!

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C.C.

answers from Tampa on

I was about that age when I stayed home alone after school for that long. We lived in an apartment building and it worked out that an older woman who lived downstairs and was home a lot was able to make sure she was home on the days when my mom couldn't be. So on the days my mom wasn't there I would get off the bus, go check in with Mrs Slous and then go upstairs to make myself a snack. I wasn't allowed to go out until my mom got home and if there was an emergency Mrs Slous was right downstairs. Sometimes she'd come upstairs and bring me a candy bar, probably making sure I wasn't getting into trouble. Sneaky.

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N.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

I think it depends on the child. I let my son stay home alone for a couple hrs(2) starting at the age of ten. He walked home from school, let himself in and set the stay alarm.His father and I were enroute home so he was literally only home for an hour. I had a ring code for him so he'd know it was me calling him on the phone other than that he was not to answer the phone or door. He did fine!! I think the age of 10 is a good age to try. Anything younger is to young. Do a couple of trial runs and if you think she may lose her key have a teacher hold on to it at school or have her drop them at the school office in the morning and pick them up before she gets on the bus to go home.If you have a neighbor you can trust let them keep an eye out from a distance also don't let her use the stove! Good luck!

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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

I'd wait a few years before considering this. If she had an older sibling with her, that would be different with two kids. Good luck!

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F.B.

answers from Harrisburg on

You need to check to see what you state law is regarding this issue. Some states have a specific age requirement, others have guidelines that you should follow. Once you have satisfied the state law, then you must decide if your daughter has the proper maturity level to handle being left alone by herself.

Some of the things that I think that a child should know before leaving them alone would be, not answering the door, not answering the phone unless she knows that it is you or her father, knowing what to do in an emergency or who to call, not inviting friends over when she is home alone, etc.

If you decide to do this, I would recommend that you make a list of rules and regulations that she must follow when you are not home. Also, make sure she knows what the consequences are for not following the rules.

Good Luck with your decision!

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J.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

If you think your child is mature enought then absolutely do it. When my son was 9 I let him come home once or twice a week for about the same amount of time. He did great. Called me when he got home, started his homework. Totally understood the rules of no answering phone or door. If the phone rang, he'd always call me back to see if it was me. He is my second child and seems very together as far as this kind of thing, I think he's happy to have a little bit of independence. Also, we had a neighbor up the street that knew and my son was to run to her house if he was scared or if an emergency came up. (didn't happen once)

B.C.

answers from Dallas on

I sometimes leave my 9 year old for short amounts of time (to run to get a coffee or gas) and she gets paranoid sometimes, and other times she's fine and wants to stay home alone. It depends. Two hours is a long time in my opinion for a 10 year old, but I'm a little overprotective. When I was 11, I was watching my 2 younger siblings for an 8 hour shift while my mom worked. So, I would judge by what you think your child is capable of and ask her how comfortable she is with it. Does she know what to do in case of a fire? What if a stranger comes to the door? Does she know the neighbors in case of an emergency? All things to consider.

S.G.

answers from Oklahoma City on

like below posts, it all depends on HER maturity level and how comfortable she is with this, does she know how to call 911 does she know mom's work number if needed, what does she do if the house catch's fire or if a stranger knocks on the door? does she answer the phone when you're not there? is she comfortable? are you comfortable?

start small and work your way up. If you think she's ready set her ground rules for home alone saftey, leave her home alone for 30 minutes while you go to the store, then after a while, an hour, so on and so fourth. that way she get's used to it, and you are "weaning" both of you to the idea.

D.S.

answers from Allentown on

Hi, N.:

No. Find a neighbor who is willing to do it for a small fee.
If anything happened to this child while you were away, you would
feel guilty forever.
Thanks for asking. D.

P.S. The frontal lobe of the brain is not fully developed until the
age of 25. That's why car insurance for guys is high until 25.
I would always remember this as long as you child is underage.

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