Would You Take ONE of Your Two Children to WDW and Leave the Other at Home?

I wouldn't even consider taking a child under the age of 5 to WDW, so yeah, good call on leaving the 18 month old at home.

I would do exactly what they are planning to do. I think 18 months is way too young. Apparently WDW thinks so too or they absolutely would charge admission for little ones.

I see no problem with this. I would do it. I think 18 months is a little young. This way, they can concentrate on the 4 year old. In a few years, they can take the younger one. They are making special memories with their oldest. Sometimes age does have its advantages.

I think they have a great point. We waited until our kids were 10 and 9 and could really enjoy it and remember it.

We saw a lot of people hauling diaper bags, strollers and sleeping babies-it just looked like a pain in the butt. I'm sure there are some negative memories attached there for the parents and the kids won't remember it at all.

I don't think they will regret it unless they regret it because you keep bringing it up throughout the years.

Let the four-year-old have a blast without having to hear any of the following:

"Sorry, honey, but Little One can't go on that ride so you can't either."

"Sorry, LO is tired now so we all have to go back to the hotel."

"Sorry, LO is too young for the character breakfast/other event/whatever so we can't do that this time around."

"Sorry, we can't really split up right now so that mommy takes LO back to nap while daddy takes you to (ride, show, etc.). We'll have to call it a day and try again tomorrow."

"Sorry, LO is too tired/melting down/hungry. It's too bad but we must stop now for a snack/rest/drink because that's LO's schedule."

Little One will only be overstimulated and unable to do a ton of stuff. Let the older child have some fun that's appropriate for his or her age without the smaller child's needs dictating that it's time to stop before the older child needs to stop.

I don't get it when families must do everything togther all the time in perfect lock-step, as if it would create a lifetime rift between the kids if one gets to do something the other does not. I see friends whose older kids have missed out on a ton of things because the younger kids' schedules ruled the roost. I say, good for your BIL and his wife. And I think your judgement of them is very harsh here and in the SWH. You seem to think they just don't care enough about the toddler or they'd take him or her to WDW. Maybe they care enough to not want to stress out themselves and both their children.

As for the grandma who loves WDW, isn't she getting ANY happiness out of the thought of wonderful one-on-one time with her toddler grandchild? Many grandparents would beg and plead for that kind of time with a grandchild. She may be wasting a terrific chance to have fun -- just the two of them -- without the hassles and stresses of having an overstimulated, overtired toddler. She should embrace this opportunity and not pine for a theme park.

i agree the 18 month old would be a waste to take. honestly, i don't feel a 4 year old will remember any of it either, though.

however, for us, wdw is a once-in-a-lifetime trip. so i can't answer for you. if it was our family we'd wait until all the kids could enjoy it, and do it once. but it's not my family - it's not even your family. maybe they are planning to go again in a few years anyway. who knows.

my son is six and we are planning to go this summer when he is 6 1/2.

ETA: your comment about "family as long as it is convenient" is REALLY unnecessary. people disagree so you throw out something like that? nice. all that does is make you look like the b**** SIL. after reading that, i say butt out. it's none of your business.

Your brother-in-law and his wife are making the right decision. They won't regret it now or in future years. When the baby is several years old then he can go with them on a new trip. Not everything has to be 100% even all the time, especially when the practical reasons (including wasted cost for food and travel and lodging) outweigh everything else.

Yup. Leave the baby at home.

And the attitude.

Wow, I would completely understand not taking a 1.5 year old to Walt Disney World. Clearly, there's not going to be much for a baby to do. Stand in line with a wiggly toddler that wants to be put down, walking? Sorry-- sounds atrocious to me. And no, he wouldn't remember it-- instead, it might very well put a damper on things. This way, they could go do a something very special with their older child without the extra delays of what you describe.

I don't think it's a question of 'not wanting to be bothered with family', as you so tacitly put it. I think that's a really unfair judgment. I personally wouldn't hold this against the parents-- wanting to spend some special time with their older child and to truly enjoy this time without the demands a young toddler requires. Did you stop to think that this might be far more kind to the toddler, than possible airplane trips, long car rides, and being towed around everywhere? How does *that* suit a toddler's needs?

Couldn't grandma have also just said "no"? If it was something that was breaking my heart, I would.

I do both, by the way: I try to do things that we all enjoy (husband, son, self) and which are reasonable. I believe we remember things fondly if they aren't stressful, so we are a 'less is more' family.

(We both agreed that we likely wouldn't take our son to an amusement park of this caliber until he's about 9 or 10, so that waiting in the lines won't be so hard. I've been to Disneyland as an adult, with another adult, and while we enjoyed ourselves we were exhausted at the end of the day-- and we adults had the capacity to be patient, wait pleasantly, and the endurance to walk everywhere!)

not sure on what level you think they would regret not having to schlep a stroller, diaper bag and whiney sleepy child thru disney world.

I in fact did this not once but twice. The first time we went my daughter was 7 and my baby was 1 and a half ( I was 9 months pregnant with son number 2 at the time) we had a ball and the 18 month old had a ball with grandma and grandpa.

The second time we went we took the then 9 year old daughter and my son who was 3 at the time and left the then 1 year old son number 2 with grandma. Again all had fun. No whining tired needs a nap baby screaming thru the lines for rides or the restaurants because he was sleepy, tired, hungry etc.

Disney while fun is stressful enough with children who are at the ages to enjoy it. why bring one who will not remember it? And will just be a drain on your already stressed nerves?

I agree with them - the baby has no idea what WDW is all about, and is too young to really be able to enjoy it, so why spend the extra money and go through the extra hassle to take her?

I would leave the 18 month old with grandma. They may not enjoy themselves as much because one person has to watch the baby while the other 2 ride and you have to lug around a stroller and diaper bag with all necessities, feed them when they are hungry and if the baby gets crabby and stays crabby then they would probably have to leave early and its expensive to go to WDW.

We took our 3 year old to Disneyland last June and left her 1 year old brother behind to be spoiled by Grandma and Papa. That way we were able to run all day and ride all the rides together instead of one adult (Nana came too) having to sit out with him. He wasn't trapped in a stroller, in the heat, for 12 hours a day, only to have to do it all over again for 3 days, instead he was able to play, have fun and enjoy himself. He's 18 months now and I'd make the same choice.
We will be doing WDW Spring of 2014 and will have an almost 5 year old, an almost 3 year old and one under 1 by then. We will all go on that trip, but it will be for 10 days, I will be nursing the baby and the baby will not be super-mobile by then, so a day in a stroller won't be so terrible.
I think they made the right decision and the little one will have more fun with the grandparents than being dragged around the park.

ETA: I am beyond offended at the implication that my choice (and anyone who made a similar choice) to leave my son behind was because I didn't want to be inconvenienced by him, that I was only thinking of myself, that I am a lesser parent than those who took their little ones, that I care less about my family than others, that I shouldn't have a baby if I don't do exactly as you think I should and all of your other anger-filled and aggressive assumptions.
I left my son behind to be fair to him, not for selfish reasons. I simply wasn't willing to force my active 1 year old to spend 3 days trapped in a stroller, unable to get out and crawl/cruise/walk, unable to explore and be free to play. My decision was based purely on his needs. To assume otherwise is more telling about you and your need to judge and feel superior, not just amongst your own family but amongst total strangers on the internet. It must be nice to be so much better than the rest of us.

We went to Disneyland in November with our 2 and 5 year old boys. While the 2 year old had an amazing time, I think I told my husband about a dozen times that it would have been a better idea to have me go with the 5 year old and leave the 2 year old at home with Daddy. He did a great job for his age and is one of those kids that can nap anywhere. But he definitely had some meltdowns and decided to run away from me at one point when I was carrying a bunch of food and drinks! It just increased the stress level to have him along. We also did the ride-shuffle thing many times. There is a lot for little ones to do but Disney is exhausting for adults, much less toddlers. I think it would be a great gift to the older child to have the parents' full attention. The little one can have a magical experience at Chuck E Cheese or the playground :)

The only reason we haven't gone to WDW with our kids yet is because our youngest is 20 mos, and it'd be really difficult to get our money's worth. There aren't many rides that a toddler can do, so 1 parent will have to stay off the ride, while the other rides with the other kid. To me, that's a huge waste of time and effort. The toddler will have his chance when the time comes. He won't remember this trip. The 4 year old might not either, as long as the toddler is being left with someone familiar and loving, as is the case in the scenario you laid out, he should be just fine.

ETA: Every family has different limits. Would it be better for them to do NOTHING than to do what they are capable of handling? For us, traveling is very difficult. On our last vacation (flight from Chicago to San Diego) my baby screamed his head off the entire flight. It was miserable for us, as well as for everyone else on the flight. If we could do it over again, I'd ask my mom to stay with the baby while we went on the trip. Our baby sleeps wonderfully at home, but terribly away from home. He was so sad for most of the trip because he was overtired. It wasn't enjoyable for our other kids either to be stuck with such a sad baby. (ETA: This trip included trips to the ocean and a full day at Sea World, so I do know what it is like to bring a toddler to an amusement park, having traveled half-way across the country to do so. During the summer I take my kids (on my own-hubby is not with us 99.9% of the time) to the zoo just about weekly, and all over the Chicago area. I'm no wimp, but I know my limits.)

The answer is YES.

An 18 month old is not going to get the whole experience and keep the family from being able to do things with the four year old that would be really fun.

My friend just took her eight year old to WDW and left 2 year old little brother at home. She said it was the best decision she ever made...after almost deciding to take him several times from guilt. They will go again later and take little brother and by then big sister will no longer be in princess mode and the magical-ness for her will be less...but she got to go in the full throws of princess mania...with just her parents...and it was awesome. Little brother couldn't have cared less...he got a week of spoiling at grandmas.

So leave the little one at home and take the big one...no guilt!!!

We took DS to Disney World when he was 5 (then again the next year at 6 because we didn't get to do everything we wanted to). It was a big deal. He's an only child so we didn't have a younger one to leave behind, but if we did we would have.

The 4 year old deserves some special time doing things a bigger kid can do that a baby can't. I'm sure they'll take the baby next time, when it's older.

You sound so angry about this... I don't think it's ok for them to leave the baby if it's am imposition on grandma but if it's not, seems fine to me. I don't think an 18mo old would remember. I'm a bit opposed to leaving a young child in general but getting past that, this is a different issue and one that seems fine to me. I have a friend who has done that with zero regrets
and only thing I have is jealousy bc we dont have grandparents. 18 mos is really young. You honestly think he will remember if he went??

When I was a kid, my parents took me and my first brother to Sea World and left my youngest brother who was about 18 months home at the time with my Aunt. I see why. The youngest one won't have nearly as much fun, will probably need a nap etc. I only have one who is extremely attached to me so if I had two I would probably take both but if their youngest is happy at grandma's no harm.

Yes, absolutely I would leave the baby at home! I have taken DD to a WDW type park as a baby, together with her cousins who were 6 and 9 at the time... what a HUGE mistake that was. It wasn't enjoyable for DD, me or my sis (who also had her toddler with her) and my nieces really got short-changed! It was relatively hot, crowded and hard to navigate with the stroller, my sis and I took turns watching the babies while the other one stood in line for a ride with the older kids... the babies got cranky from sitting in the stroller after a few hours... It was not a very pleasant trip.

We only went for a day so it might be different if you are going for a week and are in a hotel at the park so you can go for just a few hours at a time - but I would never take a toddler to one of those parks ever again.
Good luck!

we just took our 2 year old and he GREATLY enjoyed it! Way more than we even expected him too. However, our son is usually a very go with the flow type of guy, especially when it comes to traveling. I think that it might be h*** o* the 18 month old, or the trip might be too long and will end up not being enjoyable. I am thinking that the parents must know their child best, and that there is a reason that they don't think the trip will go smoothly. And yes, the 18 month old will not remember, so their will not be hurt feelings over being left behind . . . as long as they plan to take him eventually!

Yes, I think they have a point, and it will be a wonderful memory for their four year old. They will ALL have a better time and the 18 month old will have NO clue or memory. Win win!
We mostly vacation as a family but my husband and I have both taken our kids on one on one trips over the years. It's really, really nice to slow down and spend some special time with just one child every now and then. Not only do we love it but those are some of our kids best memories (the time dad and I went fishing, the time mom took me to New York, etc.)

I have mixed feelings on this. 18 months old is kinda a difficult age where the kid wants to do everything but is too little to do alot of things. It would be great one-on-one time with their older child...and the older child might get a better experience if they don't have to stop for feedings and nap time. That being said...I just don't think I could ever leave one of my kids behind for a large family vacation, no matter how much work they are, or how old, it's always fun to see how they react with new experiences! But I can understand where they are coming from.

I guess it would depend on the personality of the 18 month old. Is she easy going, flexible and will sleep anywhere? Or is she a whiner, cranky little one who does not travel well. Also would depend on the time of year they are going. I always like to do everything together, but I have been to Disney enough times to see crying, hot miserable toddlers. I would probably leave 18 month old home where she will be treated to special treats with grandma.

I really don't understand the majority of answers here. Do most people really only vacation for the convenience? Isn't it supposed to be about spending time together as a family? The whole extended family is going, INCLUDING another baby. There will be plenty of help and I have been to Disney many times and there's not any ride the 18 month old will not be able to ride that the 4 year old will, so they won't be missing out on anything. (Both will probably have to have parents on the ride with them, unless there's a little kiddie ride the 4 year old would ride by himself, in which case, the parents won't be riding anyways.) We've taken babies and toddlers to Disney. We don't go in the summer, because even the 4 year old would be miserable in the heat then - and so would I, LOL. Also, as for stopping for snacks and rest, except for an afternoon nap, I would imagine the 4 year old would need the same number of snacks and breaks as the 18 month old. Most people I know going to Disney have a wagon or stroller for their 4 year olds anyways, because they are still little and all that walking is too much for them. Plus, does he really want to set up a selfish pattern of "all about me" in his older child? Isn't a better lesson that we do things as a family and help each other out and find ways to include everyone rather than, "We don't take them along, because they get in the way." Not a good lesson to teach, AT ALL. And at 4, Disney is completely new. They are not going to feel jipped if they don't get to do something. They won't even know what all there is to do. It will just be a whirlwind of fun and activities - just like it will be for the toddler. My parents took me to Disney when I was 4, along with my TWIN toddler siblings and a toddler cousin - we went as an extended family, too. EVERYONE had a great time and even though I barely remember anything and my siblings and cousin hardly remember anything, we have heard the family stories over and over and listened to everyone laugh about the various things that happened and seen all the pictures a thousand times, so it's kind of like we all have memories of it. :) I know I would have been sad at that age if my younger sisters couldn't go. So, yes, I would definitely take the toddler.

I find it sad. :( We lived in Florida for a while and bought year long passes to Disney when our first child was only 10 months old. We have so many fun pictures and memories taking her there for that year. Pictures such as her kissing Minnie mouse on the nose and videos like her dancing and clapping and giggling to the music in various shows. And she loved it! Does she remember? No. But she sees the pictures and videos and know she was included and loved and had so much fun. After we moved we went back a couple of years ago with our kids ages 8, 5, and almost 2. The youngest had a blast and we have SO many great pictures and videos of all three of them that we will treasure for always. Someday your BIL's youngest will know they were left out - unless they plan on hiding all pictures/videos. Hopefully they will understand the reasoning behind it. It's free to take him, so it won't cost any more. And how big of a deal is a stroller and diaper bag? It's such a minor pain compared with what you get in return - that special time as a whole family. And I would think they would miss the baby like crazy once they are there, as well and see all the fun stuff they will look at know he would have loved to see/do. I'm all for special time with individual kids - like a special trip to the ice cream shop or to a movie. But a vacation to DISNEY WORLD? Those should be for whole families to make fun memories together.

Yes, I would. I would not want to take a baby or toddler!
We actually took all four kids when we went, and the baby was tough.
The kids were all under 6. Only age 3 and up is my rule!!!

I agree with your in-laws. It would be a waste of money to bring the 18 month old, and it would take away from everyones enjoyment, having to deal with diaper changes, naps etc. I suppose I'd bring the toddler if I didn't have an alternative, but staying home with grandma all to himself is pretty nice too. There were times I took my older child and not the younger places, because the younger child wasn't old enough to appreciate it. When my older son started school I took my younger son places while his brother was at school. I've created memories for both of them, and for me.

we just returned from wdw with our 5 and 6 year old. it was a great trip.. I dont think it would be great with an 18 month old.. I saw lots of crying babies. lots of frustrated parents.. and when you are paying $8o per day per person to enter the park.. who wants to spend the day dealing with the whining and crying of a toddler.. there are rides a young child is not tall enough to ride so a parent has to sit out with the baby.

however.. the 4 year old will have a great time.. and by the time the baby is old enough to enjoy it.. the 4 year old will be 7 or 8 and past the magic of disney age.. not that a 7 or 8 year old would not enjoy it too.. but differently.

BUT... I wold not leave a child at home.. with grandma or anyone else.. family vacations are for all fo the family..

my kids are 18 months apart so we spent 3 years not going anywhere cause we had 2 babies.. now they are older and can travel.

My problem is not so much the 18 month old missing disney. Kid wont remember it anyway, but I do not think I'd want to be away from my 18 month old for any extended time. I would think if that was the case I'd pay for my mom to come to disney with me and pay for a room for her. She can't walk disney either so she could stay behind and watch the baby.

I'm sorry but I can totally be objective and see why its agoid idea to take 18 month old & leave the 18 month old at home. If you were'y going to exoress your feelings/opinion why ask mamapedia mom? I think maybe just a lityle you thought your opinion was the right obe & wanted to be validated... But its their family & their decision & that does not make them wrong.

That's a tough one. I see where your BIL is coming from. And we struggled with this too. We ended up not going until both kids could make the trip and have an enjoyable time with such long days. The vacations we took when the kids were this young was to visit family with little side day trips.

Are they ever planning on going back? It would be a shame if they only went once, with the one child, and never got a chance to take the second one, for whatever reason.

I guess, for our family, we were fine waiting (and saving the $$) until everyone could participate and have fun.

Eh. We've taken toddlers to Disney 4 times now. It's really not that big of deal. They are free to take, so you aren't spending money on then anyways. If you know how to prepare and your toddlers are reasonably well behaved, then it's no big deal. Strollers are actually great because it gives you room to haul around drinks and snacks for the family. :) I'm guessing most people on here (including your BIL) who say they wouldn't do it, either haven't tried it or just have unusually hard to manage/fussy toddlers. But I'd say for most folks, if you know how to plan ahead and schedule naps in the stroller (or in a hotel if you have a sensitive child that can't nap in the stroller), then it's really no big deal. I would think they would regret it later and I feel very bad for Grandma who wants to go but has offered to miss the trip just because they don't feel like going through the "hassle". If they feel that strong about not including him then one of them should stay home with the baby while the other takes the older child so she doesn't have to miss out. :/

At 18 months I think a child would enjoy WDW. However, there may be quite a few rides they would want to forgo the little one to be on. That being said I'm not sure the 4 year old would want to go on them either.

I guess I would say no I probably would not leave my 18 month old at home. But then, I'd probably wait to go to WDW when my kids were both older anyway.

Yep, I would do it.. in fact, we might in March.. We will be in FL to see my parents and are thinking about taking my son.. we will see. We are only going for the day if we go, and my husband and I might go with out the kids. He has never been there.

ETA.. Last year we went on a wave runner with my 3 year old and left my 8 month old with my mom.. are we bad parents? My mom and her friends had a blast with my daughter- 3 weeks later, my moms & dads friend passed away. I am happy that he got to spend that extra time with my daughter.

But we go to FL every year as my parents are there for the winter. So the option of going it open each year, and in 4 years we have yet to head there.

Never in a million years. If I were going to Disney(which I didn't get to do until I was in my mid 20's), I'd take all kids, or none of them.

I remember certain things my parents told me happened when I was that age that they didn't think I'd remember(like the first camping trip to Tippecanoe River).
When I had the chance to go, I went, even though everyone thought it was silly. I got to go on the PotC ride before they closed it down for remodeling(I didn't even know there were any movies at the time.). Seeing the Eyvind Earle stills for Sleeping Beauty, hell, seeing the Castle! I'd love to take my son there, and any other little kids.
If we made it a huge family trip, I'll carry the toddlers when everyone else is tired. Mouse Ears for everyone!

On the note of the other part...

I haven't read the commentary yet, but reading your SWH alone makes my brain hurt. There is no need to go that route. Family if convenient? Really? My Mother had me, one who'd get lost whenever inconvenient, a sister who was shy to the point of nuclear meltdown if approached, and a brother who was constantly having to go through surgeries to fix a bloody nose issue(bled if you barely touched his nose).
She'd have given about anything to go one on one with us kids on trips, but nobody had the stamina to deal with two of us at once, so she never did. It had nothing to do with sharing memories or anything quite so silly. Individuality and medical issues, and personality. Such a polar trinity of opposites, it's almost comical...almost.

Still think it's convenient? Sometimes and for some reasons, convenience and practicalities are separate.
We all grew up, my brother had the surgeries, my sister grew out of her shy phase, and well, I withdrew and wasn't so outgoing, so family trips later were easier.

You don't say anything else, so who knows the reason for leaving the toddler at home. Did Grandma say it was a "sacrifice"? Does she act like it is? Spending time spoiling Grandbabies sounds like Grandma is the one getting spoiled. I think if she had an issue with it, she'd have been the first to insert Grandma's pejoratives in there. Personally, I think you need to stay out of this, as it's bothering you more than others.

Agree or disagree, as always, it's...

Just my 2cp.

Before I read the whole question I thought no, never. But once I saw that the younger one was 18 months old I can kind of see their point. The little one would have no memory of being on the trip. (but I would still bring the little one) That being said, the 4 yr old's memory will be very vague too. Not sure if they live close enough to drive and make it a less expensive trip - but since for us WDW is an expensive trip from NY (airfare for 4, plus hotels, tickets, meals) it's really a once or twice in a childhood trip for us. We waited until our kids were 6 and 9 to go. (we hope to go again before the 16 yr old is too "grown up" to want to go with us)

As for making memories - I've learned that the things we as parents think are going to make memories really don't make much of an impression on the kids (my neighbor used to make home-made gormet picnics for on-the-lawn-at-the-park Summer concerts and her kids have no memories of all the sweet delicacies that came out of that gorgeous picnic basket. They would ahve been just as happy with PBJs or McD's

I think the least expected odd stuff make the memories. My kids still talk about the time my son threw up in the car and we had to pull over on some major highway as the huge trucks screamed past us swaying the car; or when we went on vacation to Lake George last year and Hurrican Irene swept through and the whole town flooded, we lost power and we all snuggled in one bed watching a DVD on the portable player until the battery died. Or the traditions - we go to Hershey Park almost every year and the kids tell the stories of the various trips - when my son lost his tooth and my daughter got upset wondering if my son would get a lot more money from the tooth fairy and how unfair it would be. Or when our flight was cancelled and my daughter was amazed at how many people commented on how cute she was in her PJ's in the airport and how they wished they could be in their PJs, etc.

The epic failures, unscheduled storms, stopping at a wierd place on a whim, those are the strange things that make memories - all the stuff we plan seem to go too smoothly to trigger a memory!

If I had an 18 month old that didn't have separation anxiety, I would definitely leave the baby with Grandma, take the 4 yr old only.

We do a mix of both with our son - memories. We do some "adult" things that he must join us in: ie we work from home and often he has to tag-along and work with us. But we also do fun "kid" things with him (crafts, playgrounds, all the Xmas gifts he got!). We dont have time or funds right now to do Disney world, but plan to hopefully go in the future. I think I remember a lot from my childhood only thru pictures. I am very visual and don't remember much unless I have a picture to remind me. So take pics for your children! Archive them!

I am still nursing my 1 yr old, so he goes where I go. Honestly we went on vacation a few months ago and my 3 yr old was the one being a pain in the butt. I but carried the little one in my ergo and he nursed/slept as he wanted. I would never go on vacation without one of the kids, seems so sad for the little one left at home. I also think that while the little one might not remember being left behind, later will surely wonder why shes not in the Disney pictures?? If you dont want the 'bother' of a stroller and diapers, maybe dont have a baby?? Dont mean that as harsh as it sounds, but it irritates me when people treat their kids like a nuisance. So I guess my anwser is no, I would never go on vaca and leave one kid at home.

Well, I don't know what WDW is, but I can say that my husband and I try to include all of our children on outings and special events. Being that we have 11 children (age 1 to 21), taking everyone is usually a challenge, but it is one we embrace. I would only leave the little ones at home if it were a situation where I know they would be very unhappy or where it would be inappropriate to bring them. We don't mind strollers and inconvenient diaper changes, they are all a part of parenting:)

My personal rule for WDW is 5 years old. So I did take my daughter there when she was 5 and left my 1 year old son home. He's 12 and I have no guilt, he has no animosity, lol. When we go there, we do the parks from open to close, get our money's worth...Disney is not cheap! I would not be up for going back to hotel during the day so baby/toddler could have down time. It really is up to people to do what they are comfortable with. The only problem I see here is grandma not speaking up that she'd like to go on the trip.

They have a point but I would not do it myself. I took my daughter when she was 2 yr and 4 months. She loved it and does remember it (maybe not all of it but some). If one child was going to be in FL for some special event and the other was not there (sporting event, competition, etc) I would take the one that was there or at least consider it. I would not plan a vacation to take one and not the other.

As for the extra money...under age 3 is free admission and can eat off parents plates.

Walt created his parks with family and all ages in mind. We took 3 kids 2 strollers and grampa & grandma. grampa is in wheelchair. he still enjoyed the shows and just being in the Disney atmosphere. Take grama & grampas with, rent a 5 bdrm house within 5 miles (during off season $99/night) and go home at nap time everyday but bring the kids to fireworks every night. If you go for 10 days instead of 4-5 you can relax more and not feel rushed. The pics of Mickey hugging the little ones is priceless. Also if they are under 3 their Free!!!! You can pack lunches & take snacks into the parks, easier to pack a cooler in a stroller!! You won't regret if you go home for a nap!!!

Also wdw has the cleanest bathrooms and located very nice for potty training or take pullups. sometimes the baby would nap in the stroller so we could take older kids on "bigger rides" and grama would hang out w stroller. Again, during low season there are no lines, longest we waited was 15 minutes. A lovely trip if your willing to make it enjoyable for your kids!!!

There are many rides kids even young can go on...it was Walts dream to have young & old enjoy...it's not a rollercoaster theme park!!!

I'm not sure I consider going to Disney a vacation for the parents at all... You could almost say there's a "family vacation" where everyone enjoys. I'd say the beach. Then there's a "parent vacation" where parents go on their own to do things kids would not enjoy. And then there's a "kids' vacation" where parents are spending lots of money and undergoing hassles to give their kids an event they will really enjoy and is all about them. That's where I would classify WDW. Yes, it is fun for the parents to see their child's expressions but overall, there are few adults who would go there on their own, without children. So I"m not sure why you're so bitter in your SWH about "family when convenient". Maybe they look at this trip as time to really give the 4 year old an experience he/she will remember without competing for attention. I don't see taking a 4 year old to Disney necessarily bc I think it's young for the expense involved but I don't see the need to criticize not taking an 18 mo old. Is there something deeper going on here? Do they tend to neglect their kids in general? Or maybe always go off and leave the 18 month old? An 18 mo old is pretty clueless where they are and certainly will not remember. I assume they plan to take him when he's older. If my parents had done this and left me, I wouldn't now feel cheated unless they NEVER took me. Even then, if they took me at 18 months but not again when I was old enough to remember it all, I'd still be bummed. I know people who leave their babies home and my opinion varies on how involved parents they are the rest of the time. Is this mother they type who barely sees her kids anyway and now is leaving the baby? Then this would be one more straw. If she's a doting mother and they decided this ONE trip would be different and for their 4 year old, big deal. I don't see the need to be so offended by it. I'd have had a very hard time leaving my 18 month old home alone for any reason so that is a factor but it doesn't seem to be your issue. If the 18 mo old is close to grandma so won't be crying nonstop for mother, no big deal. So maybe clarify if these inlaws are lousy parents in general or they're actually quite attentive and involved and loving but you can't get over this one little trip.

My first thought was no way no how would I want to take a toddler to a place like this.

BUT then the rest of your post says it all. Multi family members going along, multi opportunities for a break to just go with 4 yr. old and enjoy showing it to her, lots of memories and pictures that can be looked at until they go the next time.

SO I would probably take the toddler. ONLY is there was a certainty that there would be others who knew they were going to do toddler duty and have specific times they would not be able to plan other things. THEY could take the toddler around in the stroller and do naps or bedtime....that way the older child would have some mom and dad time to have those special memories.

Otherwise no, I would not take a toddler to a place like that.

To me that's kinda sad. Our kids are almost 10 years apart. The first time we took our younger daughter, she was 18 months and our older daughter was almost 12. It was so much fun, and we have so many sweet memories (and pictures) of how much our little one loved it! Actually, we still laugh that her favorite part of the whole thing was the arcade room in the Wilderness Lodge! Haha. But she also enjoyed every minute we were at the parks too. I would have never gone without both of them, no matter hold old (or young) they were.

I took my son when he was 2 1/2 and we took his brother when he was 13 months. Taking the 13 month old wasn't exactly perfect, but we had no other choice and I wasn't going to leave him at home. I couldn't stand to be away from him for that long and I would feel guilty. It doesn't cost anything for a child under 3 to go, just about everything is free for them. My sister went and didn't take her 11 month old and seemed to enjoy her time with her other 3 kids, but I just couldn't leave mine behind. I think it's an experience for everyone no matter what your age. True they won't remember it, but my son doesn't remember much from when he was 2, but he had SO much fun. The people who say there's a reason Disney doesn't charge under 3 have obviously not seen the look on a 2 year olds face when they first see that castle. It's priceless. There area also rides for that age/height so whatever about Disney not wanting kids under 3. I would still do it again and will when my other son is 2.

No way! Disney is a family place and who cares if they remember it or not? We still give our babies stimulating, fun experiences even if they don't remember it. That is why cameras and journals were invented. ;) The 18 month old would love it and it's really not that hard to navigate Disney with a stroller - in fact it is very convenient, as another poster pointed out, for having a place to stick snacks, drinks, purses, etc. It's also a shame Grandma has to miss out when she would like to go. Personally, if you feel close enough to them, you might consider a tactful way to bring it up and let them know there will be others around to help if they feel he is hard to manage and that way the whole family can be together instead of Grandma and the toddler having to miss out. I also agree with Jane, in that if they are insistent they don't want the inconvenience of him along (and it sounds like that is the only reason), one of them should be the one to stay with him so Grandma doesn't have to miss out, since she would have liked to go.

I'm not really sure what I'd do, to be honest. I can certainly see both sides of the issue. If lots of people were going, as you say they are, I would be more inclined to bring the baby, assuming others were willing to help watch it. I would want him to experience some of it and see the joy on his face when he rode a few favorite rides.

That said, we used to be season pass holders to Disneyland. When my daughter was 18 months, she HATED most of the rides. She was scared to go on them, would whine and want to be held, or would cry. A few she genuinely liked, but many she really, really did not. In those circumstances, I'm not so sure I would have wanted to take her for a long time.

As for the stroller, the 4 year old is likely going to get tired and want one anyway, so they will be doing a lot of schlepping, like it or not.

We do a lot with our kids, both in the neighborhood and on vacation. Sometimes it's for me, sometimes it's for them. Often, it's more stressful than it's worth! For example, today, I took my 5 and 2 year olds to the aquarium, along with a friend and her 17 month old. It was fun, but exhausting! The kids kept running too far ahead, it was crowded, and it was hard to keep them all together.

I don't think I would take one child on vacation without the other to a place like WDW. I'd be more likely to postpone the trip until both were ready.

for me since i live on the west coast it would be a major family vacation and one that might not be repeated in future years so i would take both kids. we are going this summer and we waited till now so that our kids were older (7 and 10).
many blessings to you