Working Moms and Mental Health Day

Updated on February 17, 2011
B.H. asks from Detroit, MI
24 answers

I was just curious as to how many moms who work outside the home moms take a day off for no reason but only to get some free time for yourselves while kids are at school and husband at work?
I call them mental health days. Sometimes the weekends are not enough because I'm usually grocery shopping or housekeeping and helping with homework.
So, I usually take at least one day a month off and I don't do anything except lay in bed for however long I want,watch television and eat. On rare ocassions I have driven to the mall on clothes I can't afford for fun. But mostly I stay home because I don't want to waste a minute of the day being home alone.LOL
Sometimes I feel guilty because these are days that I could save for when my kids are sick or somethng.

What can I do next?

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Featured Answers

C.F.

answers from Boston on

You've planted a seed in my little head....... Sounds DIVINE !! All mommies need that. A happy mommy = a happy home :-) Lol ENJOY

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K.M.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I too take mental health days. Sometimes I'll just take half a day. Say I have a doctor's appointment that is going to take 30 minutes or so--I just won't go back to work after that. But some days I'll fake a cough or sinus issues or stomach problems and then take the next day off. The best part is, I don't tell anyone, even my hubby, until the end of the day. Somehow having a day off when no one knows just makes it that much more fulfilling.

Did you know some businesses allow their employees one or two mental health days every year? That'd be awesome!

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D.R.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

I just have to answer this one.

I remember when I would close the bathroom door and hear pounding on the other side and just wanna cry "CALGON TAKE ME AWAY!" Or get in the car and someone else would be watching the kids and turn around and see an empty car seat and think "YES!" and just be able to grocery shop alone! But then I remember the time I was in Target and I was zoning and my daughter was about two at the time and she said "I love you Mommy" from the little seat in the cart and a woman about my age now came and interrupted my thoughts and snapped me back as I was absently saying "I love you too baby" and said to me "Did she just say I love you?" Oh honey... someday you are going to look back at this day and remember some old lady telling you.... how fast these days will fly right by... you just count my words. Someday you will be my age stopping to tell some other young mother your age to slow down and appreciate their babies." and then pouf she was gone.
I'll never forget that. And you know what? I do occassionally stop and remind young mothers to actually appreciate their babies.Like now.

For instance that baby sitting in the cart in Target lives in Hollywood today, four hours away from me. She is my best friend & is everything I would ever want her to be. But sometimes I miss that little baby in the cart that looked up and said so innocently "Mommy I love you." I thought I needed those mental health days too. And I'm not discounting them...
Somedays you would go crazy without them... but don't miss those "I love you" moments. Soon enough you will have plenty of mental health days.... more than you want.

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

Don't feel guilty...I sometimes do this as I quickly get burned out. I am hoping I have the option of finally staying home in the fall with a 5, 3, 1 year old...It is a lot of work and I am stressed out. I think all Mom's should be able to do this!!!!

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P.O.

answers from Harrisburg on

Nope, you are not the only one, I do that too and love it....In fact I took a week, lol. That alone should make me feel guilty, but it was the best week ever.

A happier mommy - a healthier child...

PS: Others post about treasuring the moments and loving the family, but it has nothing to do with how you feel about the kids/family, it has to do with plain old being tired and wanting rest!

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K.M.

answers from New York on

I've taken a mental health day on occasion. Not routinely and certainly not once a month (I just don't have that much time off from my work) but I have done it. I have tried to stay home and just relax, but out of guilt or something I just end up cooking, or cleaning or running errands. Somehow as moms we do end up feeling like we do not deserve to reserve some free time to ourselves and that may be a bigger issue. You seem to have found balance and if that keeps you sane and going the rest of the month, you shouldn't feel guilty. As mommies in this day and age we are dealing with more than we can handle on a daily basis. I say don't worry what anyone else might think. We are all individuals and do what works best for us.

3 moms found this helpful

M.J.

answers from Dover on

Ooh, I do, I do! I ADORE my few days a year, though it's definitely not as often as your one day a month. Sometimes I stay home by myself, though that's supremely rare, and sometimes my husband & I both call out together. We call it 'calling in sex' instead of sick, because that's basically all that happens all day long. Not for even a millisecond have I ever felt guilty about any of these days. I generally say I have a stomach bug, I don't tell my job I need a 'mental health day'. I figure that's what sick days are for mostly anyway & it's not as if I need to show them a note for taking 1 day off every once in a while. A happy Mama makes for a happy family in general, that's the way I look at it!

3 moms found this helpful

S.H.

answers from Spokane on

I don't do that ~ but it sounds heavenly!! :)
I can honestly count on one hand how many times since my youngest was born (2.5 years ago) that I have been in our house alone. Sad, I know!
Enjoy your mental health days and don't feel guilty b/c then it's not worth it!

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T.M.

answers from Lansing on

I have never done that, but since I have four kids and work full time it would probably stress me out if I did because I'd be thinking of all the things I should be doing instead.

Enjoy your mental health days!

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K.M.

answers from Norfolk on

I'm a SAHM but if I worked I would ABSOLUTELY do the same!!!! You need a break. When you have kids it feels like you never have time for yourself. I completely understand and say YAY YOU!!! Don't feel guilty. I'm sure you're a better mom for it. ....I'm definitely jealous!....:):):)

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B.K.

answers from San Francisco on

Great post B.
I also work full time. I work up extra hours over a period of time to make up a "Mental health day".
I put my son into daycare as usual and just lie in bed all day. I love it as I feel it makes me a better wife and mother.
B.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I'm sure many do take a day off away from everything every once in awhile, but some will not admit to it and it depends a lot on where you work. Some work places frown on it. It's hard enough just to get a day off to stay home with a sick child. I take one a few times a year, but once a month would be too much for me. I don't have that much vacation/sick time to burn. I have a few coworkers who are too afraid to take their vacation time off. They think if they are away from the office too much, the boss will discover he doesn't need them that badly and will lay them off. There's a lot of fear in some work places right now.

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L.S.

answers from Spokane on

Well, I'm a SAHM but my Husband often takes days off when *I* need a mental health day :o) All my kids are still home during the day. But when he's home like that I can go nap or have a bath during the day or whatever. This happens maybe once every 2 months or so. Our weekends are usually pretty packed with visits and errands and other stuff.

But I wouldn't feel guilty. It's important to take care of yourself.

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M.D.

answers from Dallas on

Sounds nice but it will never happen for me... I have a stay at home husband, so going to work is my only Mental Health Day... I may have work to do, but I enjoy it, and I feel more appreciated at work than I have ever felt at home... Sounds sad when I read this... I love my family, they are mine, but having a whole day to myself to do nothing does sound great, I would lay around all day long and watch my TV shows...

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H.L.

answers from New York on

I do! More like once every 2 months but I don't feel guilty, just lucky. Typically I do a little something special w/ my girls I usually can't bc of work but then the rest of the day is mine. I usually go see a movie bc it's a real escape for me. Sometimes the bonus is it's the type of movie that provides a reality check how lucky I am to have my family.

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A.H.

answers from Canton on

I do that as often as a I can...usually about once every other month. Don't feel guilty about it. It's the only alone / down time we ever get.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Detroit on

Good for you! These days no doubt benefit your family too... I'm a big fan of mental health days!

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K.P.

answers from New York on

I don't do it monthly, but once or twice a year I will take a day off or a 1/2 day and get things done that are easier or more fun by myself- like a hair cut or shopping.

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L.M.

answers from New York on

I probably do this once every 18 months to 2 years. Once a month seems extreme to me. Considering most employers only allow 5 days per year, I'm surprised you can get away with it.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I work two PT jobs (and my hubby "thinks" I'm a SAHM!) but I say "any port in a storm!" If you've got the days/time to take--go for it.

Just make some break & bake cookies for them and *poof* your guilt will go away! :)

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A.S.

answers from Boca Raton on

I homeschool and feel like I need it every now and then (though it's harder to get now than when I worked!).

Stephen Covey calls it "sharpening the saw" . . .

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R.J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I am guilty of it I have taken a day or a half day off just to lay on the couch and watch tv without momomom. But then I have also taken "hookie" days with the boys where we lay around in our pj's watching movies or playing games. Sometimes the weekends are hectic and I dont get to spend a lot of time with them so usually I take my mental health days with them

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E.C.

answers from Detroit on

I took a half day yesterday, picked my son up early from school and went to the movies. That was great because that's one less thing to do on the weekend.
I wish I had the luxury to take a day once a month. I don't agree with the mom that made it seem like you are a bad person for doing that though.
I'm a single mom so my mental health days usually come when my son goes to visit his dad.

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D.H.

answers from Detroit on

I don't do this at all. And the rate of at least once a month calling in for a mental health day, in addition to the other days you actually need to call in seems termination worthy. Assuming you are being compensated for those days by your employer, that behavior is disrespectful and dishonest.

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