When to Start Kindergarten for Small, Smart Boy

As a former preschool teacher, we helped parents a lot with this decision. Ultimately it's up to you, but I once heard someone say, "If you could give your child one more year of childhood, wouldn't you do it?" I thought that was a unique way to look at it.
My husband was an October baby, and one of the youngest in his class. One of the things to consider is when your son goes off to college, the fact that he will still need your signiture for several things, not yet being a consenting adult himself.
My daughter is an August baby, and I know she will be the youngest in her class. At least you have the option! :)
Good luck with your decision!

We held our daughter back (she has a Nov bday) based on what I percieved to be some gross and fine motor skill delays. At the time of registration she was not able to hold a pencil well and was still pretty clumsy. Also, although she knew her letters and was beginning to sound out small words, she didn't show any real interest in drawing or coloring (which I believe was connected to her not being able to manipulate the pencils or crayons well). I struggled over the descision for some time, because I didn't want her to be the only older kid in her class, and I didn't want her to be frustrated by having trouble doing the school work that kindergarteners are required to do these days. But, I finally decided to wait after talking with her preschool teachers and some other teacher friends of mine, who assured me that there was a big trend of parents of fall babies waiting to begin Kindergarten. Apparently CA is one of the only states that has the cut off date so far into the school year (in other states it is mostly before the school year begins). That was last year, so my daughter will be starting Kindergarten in the fall 08. I am really glad I waited. She has made huge improvements in her motor skills, and I think her general maturity level and attitude toward going to school is so much better than if I had sent her in fall 07 (she would've been 4 going on 5 then). Good luck in your descion.

Hi N.,
I am assuming he has been going to preschool. If so, what do his preschool teachers think? My hubby and I were both the youngest of our classes in school and he wishes his parents would have waited because he wasn't emotionally ready to be in class with older kids while I had no problems at all. What does your son want to do? If you do start him this fall and he doesn't do well, worst case scenario is he repeats kindergarten.
Sincerely,
L.

I would say it is probably best to have him start later. I have never heard of any parent regretting the decision to have their child start school later (when they are on the cusp as your son is); however, I have known a number of parents who started their children early and wished they'd waited. If you'd like more elaboration I'd be happy to share.

Hi N.,
I have some experience with this as a teacher. I taught many years in a very affluent area in Southern Cal. The trend was to not start kids in Kinder until they were almost 6 years old, especially boys. I taught 3rd grade, and by the time the kids got to me most were on the same level academically. I always had an age range from 7 to 9 year old kids. It was often difficult for the 7 year olds because they were often very immature, but the 9 year olds were so mature and sometimes bored. It is hard for a kindergarten teacher to deal with this wide age range. I am guessing that the trend in the Bay Area is also to wait and give your child that extra advantage.
I am a Dec.2nd baby and was always the youngest in my class. Being a tall girl I never remember feeling young... until I went away to college at 17. It was a voting year and I was too young to vote!!
I also have a 4 year old boy - July 19th he will be five. I have not considered holding him back because he is so ready to learn and just loves going to preschool. His is a bit clumsy and has poor fine motor skills. I recently visited his new school and spoke with the Kinder teacher. She was great!! She spoke to my child, let him explore the classroom and assured me he was ready for school next year. I would suggest talking to his preschool teachers, and if possible, the Kinder teachers. If everyone is holding there kids back, he might be at a disadvantage. The teachers would know. I think you should also go with your gut feeling... if he is doing well in preschool he is probably ready to move on. Some of my smallest student (in stature) had the biggest personalities and size was rarely an issue. If you feel his gross motor skills are really behind, talk to his doctor about it and see if there are some games you can play with him to improve the skills. Those too will come with time. Good Luck!!!

I think that ultimaly it comes down to what you feel is best. All i can do is tell you my story. I am aa August baby and my paretns started me in school when i was only 5 days into being 5. It was really hard for me according to my mom, i don't remember. I went into 1st grade when i just 6 and at the end of the year the choice was made to keep me back and do 1st gradea again because i just could not keep up. It is the sencond time i did first grade that i have memories of. It was like in my brian that was the first time i went to school. Being the oldest kid in my class all through school was great. I got to bethe first to do ever thing. Turn what ever age we were all turnign and most importanly the first one to drive. Which if you ask my mom was good because she got to controll when me and all my friends had the car. So don't worry about when he starts school so much. If you start him know and it doesn't work he well just get a second chance to get it right. Also i was one of the best students after the second time i did 1st grade. My foundations of learning where really strong and it made everything easier for me after that.
A.

I went through this exact dilemma with my oldest son. He has an October birthday, so he would have either been one of the small, younger students in his class or one of the taller, older students.
We decided to wait a year until he was 6 for kindergarten and I'm very glad we did. Our son was very interested in sports and outdoor activities (from what we saw during preschool), so he would have been at a disadvantage physically for his entire school carrier if he was behind in his physical development. Giving him that extra year gave him more confidence and better control of his body.
However, my second son is just the opposite. He ended up skipping a grade because he was so bored he was acting up. Moving him up a grade made him one of the youngest/smallest in the class, but he loves it. It makes him feel smart, like he's somehow "winning" because he's the youngest. He has no interest in sports and couldn't care less if everyone else is bigger than him on the soccer team.
So I think you should take a look at your son's personality, go to God in prayer, and you will make the right decision.

N., During an open house at a montessori school, a mom asked a similar question. I thought the response from the principal was excellent & I'm going to attempt to paraphrase.

As parents we want to make sure that our kids feel a sense of success and mastery. If he starts kinder this year, will he feel frustrated if others are more physically able than him? That could result in him losing interest. You mentioned "poor" skills, so i'm wondering if you're risking him feeling inadequate? In 5 yrs from now, its not going to matter whether he started Kinder this year or next; however, your gut feeling on his self esteem or confidence could be a world of difference if you wait until next year. Besides, its becoming very common for parents to start their kids in kinder at 6 ~ giving them an extra year to master social, emotional, and physical self confidence.
Go with your gut & ask your son what he thinks. That's what I'd do. Good luck.

I think you should go w/your instincts. It sounds like he is ready, but you really won't know unless you see for yourself. I wouldn't worry about his size. My daughter is in a split class, 1st and 2nd grade. The smallest kid in there is in 2nd grade and he is one of the "popular" kids in his class.

We ended up having my second son repeat kindergarten this year. At the end of last year, he was technically ready for 1st grade but it would have been a struggle. I am SO happy we had him repeat. It has been a completely positive experience. I would recommend to anyone who is on the fence about whether or not to wait a year to wait. Look into a good pre-k program in your area, or just relax and enjoy another year of preschool.

My sister-in-law was put into school as soon as possible and while she was fine academically, she struggled socially through high school. They always regretted not waiting. My good girl friend had the same experience. She looks back on her high school years with regret in particular for her lack of maturity.

(Frankly, there probably isn't a "right" answer -- your son bould be fine either way. That being said, what do you have to lose by waiting?)

Best wishes!

I started both my boys in Kindergarten at age 6 (one turned 6 in July, the other in August)..I have never regreted it one bit. I do not believe it has anything to do with mental abilities about when to start them either..it is about emotional readiness. Especially saying that he is smaller, etc. I would be even more inclined to wait. It says nothing about how smart he is at all, in fact my boys are both very bright but I knew they would just fair better over all socially if I waited. Don't let family pressure you either..even though childcare costs are higher, it's much better than having to hold them back later, or watching them struggle. Kindergarten children are learning to read now (not like when most of us were in school), and watching a little boy squirm in his seat is just too much. Let him be free to play one more year in preschool! He will thank you in Junior High and High School when he's not the smallest kid around his peers! You can also always move them up a grade, whereas having to retain him is much harder.

If he has the academic and social skills, definitely send him to kindergarten. The other factors aren't critical ones. Red shirting should only be done in extreme cases and it sounds like you have a child that's ready to start school.

I don't have any advice but would love to hear what decision you come to and why. My daughter is also a September baby so we are anticipating a similar dilema (she's only 7 mo now so we have lots of time.)

My son was already reading a little by age five, but his motor skills were behind, too. His parochial school worked with all children the first few months to get them on the same page. I chose an "academic" school becasue I didn't want to put his academic progress on hold. I felt I had to continue his momentum.
Some schools foster the older child profile. Some even move the cut-off for boys to July! Unfair in some ways. Also, recently heard about... In high school the boys are older, so their sexual interest is ahead of the girls... Just another consideration