What Age Is a Good Age to Let Ur Child Go to a Sleep Over?

Updated on August 15, 2007
S.B. asks from Sunland, CA
6 answers

I have a five yr. old girl who goes to summer camp during the week. Last week of camp they are doing a sleep over. My daughter has never been to a sleep over besides my moms. When or what age do you think is ok to have sleep overs? Im I being paranoid (I hope i spelled it right)???

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Is the sleep over with the camp? Or at somebody else's house? What are the Parental involvement or Chaperon arrangements? Personally, I think 5 yrs. old is too young. Perhaps at 8-10 yrs. old. Remember... (this is my opinion), don't feel 'forced' to let your daughter go to a sleep-over just because other kids are going or other parents permit it). If your gut tells you it's not right or your daughter is too young, then listen to your gut. Not to scare you, but nowadays, you MUST know full WELL, WHO is going to be there, WHICH adults, what are the nights plans and activities, WHO else is going to be there etc? You need to watch out for your child's physical and emotional safety. Too many times, I have had friends and acquaintances who have let their CHILD go to a sleep-over...and lo and behold... other 'visitors' or relatives would 'stop-by' at the 'party' and interact with the children or be left to supervise them etc. (and this is coming from well-educated, nicely employed families). It's Very scary. Once, my friend's niece was at a sleep-over, and an "uncle" was there, giving the kids alcohol, and as the children slept, he was touching one of the girls. Of course this was NOT told to the parents, and the parents were NOT told that other adults would be at the sleep-over. There was also peer pressure and the children didn't know what they were drinking. Needless to say, this resulted in criminal charges. The kids in attendance were only 8 yrs. old, mind you. So the moral to the story is, be VERY VERY careful... this is your child. No matter how old, they must always be monitored. You won't always know what goes on in the household when you drop you kid off at the party, or won't know WHO will be at the house either. Personally, i will not let my girl (who is too young now) attend sleep-overs, unless it is at MY own home. And, I will let the parents attend as well, or even stay if they want. Use WISDOM and your gut instincts, and knowledge. This is your child.... they are all precious and WE are their protectors.
Good luck.
~Susan
www.cafepress.com/littlegoogoo

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A.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

My oldest daughter is going to be 13 and I still do not let her do sleep overs...it is really hard to trust someone with your kids, and not only that I think it is somewhat selfishness on our part; we do not want to share our kids or have them have that first experience with out us! Sorry, I think this came out more as a comment than as a suggestion...let us know how it went!

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J.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

I know the feeling. My son is only 3 months and I already panic at the thought of letting him spend the night somewhere else in the future. I think that four or five is the perfect age for letting them spend the night somewhere else. She may not stay the whole night from getting homesick but it's good for children to get out. I stayed at a girl scout camp when I was five for three nights and I remember being slightly homesick but I still had a lot of fun and it was a great experience. The camp leaders were especially nice to me because I was homesick which made it worthwhile to stay. My parents never let me spend the night anywhere else (because they were overly strict, which resulted in more problems) until I was a freshman in highschool and I still think that's dumb. Meet whoever she's staying with DEFINITELY but don't lock her in by your side. So I say let her go, it'd be a great experience!

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S.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

5 is pretty young for a sleepover, especially a camp sleepover. I too am a paranoid mama. I let my oldest girl sleepover at 7 and she was super independent. My 5 yr old is soo not ready for that, nor am I! It seems a little inappropriate for that age.

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M.C.

answers from Honolulu on

My daughter's preschool does a sleepover every year for the "graduating" 5 year olds. No parents are allowed, the staff are the only adults present. My little girl had a blast. I know a lot of the parents were freaked out and I had never heard of a preschool doing such a thing, but they do it every year. At the preschool, most kids nap, so they are used to falling asleep in the space, and they are comforted by the teachers. As long as your child feels comfortable I say go for it!

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F.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Well my daughter is 13 now. When she was eight, she was invited to asleep over, we didn't let her go. Instead we celebrated her 9th birthday and we had sleep over in our house. She invited eight girls of her age, we though that only a few were going to show off, but all of them did. Alot of work and my house was messy all night, and in the morning. They had so much fun, but I felt more confortable having some other girls in my house that my daughter going somewhere else. That's very personal and trusting someone is not easy for me. I had a couple girls that came that I had never met the parents until that day. After that year we did a few more sleep overs in our house. She is now 13 and I still don't let her sleep nowhere else, but granma's house. Good luck ......

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