Weather and Clothes - JFF

Updated on January 02, 2014
A.R. asks from Keller, TX
27 answers

I have an almost 12 year old boy. Apparently at this age no one wears pants, they all wear shorts. I'm pretty laid back about my kid's clothes - weather appropriate & dress-code appropriate are my major guidelines. I'm also a big believer in natural consequences; if he chooses to wear shorts and is cold, well then he's cold and maybe he won't wear them next time. Having said that, there is a recurring argument in my house about him wearing shorts when it's cold (below 40) outside because it just seems crazy to me. FWIW I pretty much enforce a no shorts below 60 on school days, it's the weekends and breaks that we butt heads.
For those of you with older kiddos in cooler climates - do you have a cutoff temp at which no shorts are allowed? If so, what is it?

By the way - JFF means Just For Fun - so if you're going to lecture me about how my kid will get frostbite and have to have his legs amputated from wearing shorts in 40 degree weather......save it :)

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So What Happened?

LOL, these answers are cracking me up, glad I'm not alone. He won't wear a jacket either, only a hoodie or his soccer warmup jacket. I'm freezing at 65 in the house, so I can't relate at all. The funny thing is if we're inside and the house temp is below 65 or so he's complaining he's cold and covers up with a blanket. Kids, sheesh.

I do believe in natural consequences, but there are times when intervention is warranted for the safety/well being of the child (you stop a kid trying to clear a clog in the garbage disposal while it's on, right?!). I war with myself on that with this issue. However after reading everyone elses responses I will stop worrying about it.

Featured Answers

X.O.

answers from Chicago on

I'm from Minnesota--I have been known to wear shorts, a hoodie and Crocs to shovel snow when it is 25' out. So, yeah, I don't know if I can be of much help to you here. ;-)

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L.D.

answers from Dallas on

Glad you are giving on this one... It's just something to drive mom nuts. There are bigger fish to fry. :)

4 moms found this helpful

T.N.

answers from Albany on

Both my boys wear shorts year round. We live in upstate NY, today it is 3 degrees. Both are college students getting around mostly on foot.

Awesome kids in most every other way. Dumbasses.

Apparently jeans are dressy?

;(

4 moms found this helpful

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Let it go. Natural consequences. Unless you fall unconscious in freezing cold for days, the child isn't ever going to get frostbite. It's Texas, for goodness sake - LOL!

It's his body, and as long as he's not doing it in below freezing temps, you're doing your job. If he gets cold, he'll come back in and put on pants.

I say this because I am cold at 69 degrees and I put on a sweater. My husband and son are both warm down into the upper 40's-low 50s. I'm not going to tell them they feel cold. Their body doesn't work like mine.

P.S. for school, he wears what THEY determine is correct. :)

6 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

You are not alone...

My boys wear shorts ALL THE TIME....they are 11 & 13...I had to demand pants when we went to get pictures with Santa (yep...they still believe!! YAY!!)

They have a friend, Christopher, who is 15 - we have known him and his family since before he was born - I don't think he owns a pair of pants. His mom and I were talking about that a few weeks back. It's snowing outside? He wears shorts. She and her husband (his dad) do the natural consequences rule as well. He doesn't get cold. He has sweat jackets and wears those...but no heavy coats...

My 11 year old? HATES pants. We should live in Arizona or California - really...he wears them... begrudgingly!!! You are soo not alone!!!

To answer your question - I don't have a cut off temperature. I tell them what the day is supposed to be like. They choose from there...IF they get cold? They change...(they do their laundry so they are TRYING to choose right lately...!!)

4 moms found this helpful

S.K.

answers from Denver on

This was a constant battle in our house as well with my son (9) I have come to the conclusion that he can wear whatever bottoms he wants as long as he has a coat or hoody and decent shoes when he is outside for any period of time if its below 40. The shorts he wears are the long basketball shorts so really there isn't too much skin showing just the shin. And if it gets too cold their school doesnt let them outside so he is inside all day.

3 moms found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Boston on

I gave up on this battle years ago. I only enforce pants below freezing (32 or under) on school days and make my kids at least bring a jacket to school and that's only for my little kids (7 & 9). Once my kids hit middle school, they can go to school in shorts and flip flops at 0 degrees for all I care. At that age, they're old enough to own their choices and everyone understands. When they're younger, you look like a bad mother if you send your kids to school with inappropriate clothing and that's the only reason I enforce it. My 9 year old still strips down to a t-shirt for his walk home almost no matter how cold it is outside.

Stop arguing him with him about this outside of school - it's not worth it.

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O.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

Theresa--lol "dressy"! Same here. As in "why do I have to get all dressed up?" Uh--it's a pair of Levi's, not a tux!

Soooo...same here. Mine wore shorts when it was in the 20s. Hoodie, MAYBE jacket.

It's a boy thing.
And they're his legs. :)

3 moms found this helpful

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

I say let him choose what he wants to wear but remind him how uncomfortable it can get. To put this in a different perspective for you...we used to live in Fairbanks, Alaska. Where in the winter it is common for it to be 20 or 30 or 40 BELOW zero...and you would see high school kids not wearing a hat or jacket at the bus stop. After what I have seen some people wear in Fairbanks when it is truly truly cold, I would not worry about what your son is doing. By the way, my husband often wears shorts here in the winter. Of course here in the lower 48 it is so darn warm...the 30s feel positively balmy to him I guess. ;)

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S.H.

answers from Killeen on

My 12 year old son does the same thing! I dont even argue with him anymore. My 14 yr old went through that phase too, but now wears pants when its cold. My kids are 15,14,12 and 11 and 12 is just such a difficult age lol.

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M.S.

answers from Salinas on

I am not trying to "lecture" you, but I am just a little confused. You say you are a believer in natural consequences and "if he chooses to wear shorts and is cold, well then he's cold and maybe he won't wear them next time." But then in the next sentence you say you have recurring arguments about him wearing shorts when it's cold. If you really are doing the natural consequence thing, there would be no arguments. That's how it works.

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

It was 14 degrees here a few weeks ago. One HS boy was wearing shorts. My own daughter did not have a coat, gloves, scarf. My daughter claims she does not have time to go to her locker and would be late to homeroom.
This is a universal problem😉

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

My kid is not yet 7, so he still is happy to let me pick out his clothes.

There have been a couple of days where he will put on shorts in the morning. What I've learned is that it means is that he's run out of pants in his drawer. If he really wants to wear them, I just tell him 'fine, but you need to change before we leave the house'.

We see kids on the playground wearing shorts in the cold. I have to say, I'm not surprised, but I don't think I'm going to be such a relaxed mom about it. I think 60 degrees is a reasonable cut-off(I'm up here in Oregon, it doesn't get super cold, but cold enough, between 30-50 degrees is usual).... plus, if the teachers see that the kids aren't wearing weather-appropriate clothing, they will keep the kids in during recess. I don't want my son to be part of the group that holds his class up!

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T.S.

answers from Dallas on

I love you posing this question only because I am you and you are me! I had the 60 degree rule too! Well now my son is 14 and a freshmen in high school and I've realized and accepted that he is hot natured and has pants to wear when he is cold and he does. So I allow him to dress as he wishes whatever the days weather is.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Kids, especially boys, just run warmer than adults.
Here in Nor Cal many boys wear shorts year round, even when it dips to freezing in the early morning hours.
Doesn't seem to affect any of them negatively, I mean it's not like they're sleeping outside like that.
I would hate it if someone tried to dictate how I dress myself, I certainly don't do it with my kids. Their idea of "comfort" is very different than mine. So is my husband's for that matter!

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M.H.

answers from Chicago on

I live in chicago, Friday I saw people wearing no sleeves and no coats. I know people who wear shorts all winter..

40 is not that cold to us, (Heat wave these days).. If we are in the house they can wear what ever. My son 5, left the house sunday in just a sweatshirt. We put his coat on him, he took it off. (it was 50 the day before I think that was part of it). Natural consequences he was cold when we left my moms.. I don;t think he will do that aigan.

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A.H.

answers from Canton on

My 9yr old son is the same way. Unless it is really cold (in the teens), I let him wear what he wants. He wears long shorts with high socks so it's not really that much different than pants. He is the same way with a winter coat. He just prefers to wear a hoodie. And for those that swear their kids will get sick if they're not dressed appropriately, I don't buy it. I can probably count on one hand the amount of times he's been sick...he rarely gets a common cold.

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V.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

Disclaimer: I do NOT live in a cold weather climate. Quite the opposite, actually. It rarely gets cold here (really cold). We may have a dozen nights that the temps drop below the freezing mark annually. Sometimes more, sometimes less. So far this winter, not one. The lowest daytime high all year is usually in the 40s, and that is only for a few days a year.

That said, my husband wears shorts all the time. ALL. THE. TIME.
The ONLY time he does not wear shorts is when we go to church. And the occasional dinner out to a nicer restaurant. Many restaurants here it isn't a big deal to wear shorts...

He is just more comfortable in them. Our high temp today will be around 63 (it is 52 right now) and when he left for work a little while ago, he was in shorts. It will be after 8 pm when he gets home, and the temp will be around 50 something at that time. He works in a climate controlled facility where they keep it cool due to all the electronics, too.

I'm not sure what I would do in your situation. I'd probably let him decide until the temps reached freezing (on the weekends, as you already have a rule during school hours). Does he have sweatpants? I have a 15 year old son, and when he isn't wearing jeans, he puts on his sweats to go outside and over his wrestling gear when he has tournaments. They are comfortable. So maybe if you offer him some different alternatives to just "pants" that are really comfy, he might be more likely to choose coverage?

I used to argue with my son over wearing a jacket to school on the cold days/mornings (they get on the bus at 6:50 a.m. and it is sometimes really cold still then--below 40), but he'll just have on a thin long sleeved, button up shirt--no jacket. Now, I just say, "don't you want a jacket?" and he'll usually responds that he has something in his backpack, and that's the end of it. He says the bus is heated and it gets hot, so he carries a pullover or hoodie in his backpack in case he gets cold later on. Maybe on the weekends your son is aware that he is close to home and he can come in when it is too cold or change as needed.
I wouldn't fight too much over this. Pick your battles. It's tough to watch though... ;)

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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

If your boy is generally sane otherwise, this is a battle you may not want to pick. There is hardly anything as important to a twelve-year-old boy as looking like his peers, and I imagine that his friends dress this way - or, at least, he thinks they do. (You might wonder if there is head-butting in his friends' homes, too.)

Up here you'll see grown men in shorts if the temperature is above 20, especially if it's sunny and without wind. Yes, they look brainless.

Back when my boys were in high school they wouldn't wear warm jackets. One reason was that there was no room for heavy jackets in the school lockers. I finally let it be their problem. I figured there were bigger battles to fight.

Your sweet revenge *may* come when your son has children of his own who look at his old pictures and say, "Dad, what were you doing in those stupid shorts in the winter?"

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

One of my girls, 14 yrs old, wears a hoodie to school. It was 10 degrees and she would not wear her coat. One day, she will change her mind. She is the one that will have to deal with the cold.

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C.V.

answers from Columbia on

I'm with Magenta. If you're really all about natural consequences....stop butting heads about the issue.

My 11 year old has always been the one who doesn't want to wear a jacket. I stopped arguing with him about it at about age 7. I simply told him that he was responsible for making sure he was wearing a jacket and pants if he thought he needed it. Now he'll actually go outside and check the weather, or ask me what the high temperature for the day is supposed to be. If I think it's going to be really cold, I might say "yeah, I thinking *I* will be bringing a jacket with me today," but that's all. It's his decision. Usually he makes the right one.

I don't have a cutoff temperature. I'm teaching my kids to think for themselves. Yesterday it was 38'F. The boys played outside for almost 5 hours with their friends. They wore hats, gloves, coats, pants and boots. I didn't tell them to.

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K.A.

answers from San Diego on

Hide the shorts and then he can't even choose from them? ;)

I admit I'm the type of mother that will grab a pair of long pants and put them in the car when we go out and when they complain of getting cold I will hand them to my child and very clearly let them know that "I told them so" and remind them that they should have listened to me before. I only had to do it a couple times. They now pretty much listen to me when I say something is not weather appropriate. I take in to account that I have one that runs hotter than the rest, one that runs colder than everyone in general and remember that the youngest is going to get cold in ways the other 2 don't for no other reason than she's younger and gets colder if she's sitting in the stroller.
I will give up on the fight before we leave sometimes but I will grab what's appropriate and have it on hand when they realize how stupid their choice was.

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L.M.

answers from Boise on

My 14 yr. old daughter is very funny, in a way. She won't wear a jacket when it's cold enough to freeze her eyelashes and nearly freeze her fingers off, and will wear "leggings", but inside, she gets these very fluffy, thick pajamas, blankets, big baggy sweaters and wear them in the house - even when it's 68 degrees inside! lol Kids...

The way I look at it, if she gets cold enough, she'll break her own rule and bundle up to go outside. Now, if she were my son's age (5), it would be a different story... she'd be bundled like the brother in Christmas Story! lol

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L.A.

answers from St. Cloud on

My oldest always wore basketball shorts in middle school. He had to put them on at school though(usually morning gym class). He stopped doing that in high school. My teen daughter was wearing a smaller fur lined coat. Since she started driving we told her she needed a warmer coat. She didn't argue and got a longer one with a hood. It doesn't seem much warmer to me but its longer and covers her back. I remember hating to wear socks in high school and would leave with wet hair. Now if I do that I catch a cold immediately. I think the school shouldn't allow it but it would probably be hard since some kids come from gym class wearing them. The problem I have with it is the dr. bills I have to pay if they get sick. Drs say they don't get sick from the cold but I know I do so I'm sure they do. Good luck!

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K.C.

answers from Denver on

Well, since being cold doesn't mean you'll *catch* a cold, I let my kids decide what they want to wear. They're 16, 13 and 11 and at that age, they're fully aware of what it feels like to be cold. They all own jackets, gloves, hats, scarves, boots, all the necessary gear to stay warm while waiting for the bus on early school mornings. It's their choice to wear those…or wear thin fall jackets over a t-shirt with low sneakers with no socks when it's 32 degrees. Totally their choice. They DO check the weather forecast for the day each morning so they have a general idea of what it's going to be like. If it even approaches 60, they think it's freakin' summer! I HAVE had to remind them that "kids, it is technically STILL winter…you're going to look pretty dumb wearing that."

Natural consequences all the way, baby.

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S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

My 8 year old wore shorts until the first snowfall this year. My 11 year old stopped wearing snow pants to school this year. He walks to school, and it is very cold here (In fact it was minus 58 degrees f last night.), but he decided since there is no recess at middle school he doesn't need them. I don't see any of the middle school kids dressed appropriately, and I remember when I was that age I refused to dress appropriately for the weather as well. I will make the kids wear the appropriate outerwear if we are going to spending a lot of time outside, like tobogganing, skating or a trip to the zoo, simply so I don't have to cut the outing short because someone is cold. If my 11 year old wants to walk to school with no snow pants I will let him if it is above minus 15 degrees f.

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J.K.

answers from Kansas City on

my boys wear shorts whenever we want. My husband and I had the no coat and shorts argument years ago - and I gave in. I felt like it wasn't my battle that I wanted to keep up. My husband was OK with it so I ended it. I think you said it - when they are cold, they will learn the lesson. My kids are now in high school and still wear them sometimes when it is cold but not like they used to when it was snowing. All the kids do it really. My youngest son learned his lesson last Christmas, when we went out Christmas shopping, to an outside mall, and I told him he should bring a jacket. He said no, I'm good. So when it started snowing and whipping winds around, he was begging for my jacket. I told him no. Now he wears sweats a lot, and a big coat, even if he leaves that in the car sometimes. Good luck - it will pass!

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