!!We Need Our Bed Back!!!

Hi Lanta, what can I say...I've been exactly where you are right now!! I know how you feel. I kept my daugther in bed b/c I was breast feeding and it made things easier on me, it was great then. Then right around 9 months old it got to be too much on me. I had no space, she was moving around a lot, my hubby had no space...I was ready. So I spoke to friends to get advice...and finally started to put her in her crib at night. The only thing I can say is be strong. Change your routine to getting up to comfort her/nurse her back to sleep and then always lay her back in her crib. It is hard at first b/c your little girl will scream when you leave and maybe even cry for a long while. All you want to do is what you know works, you know that if you take her to bed with you she'll stop crying, she'll sleep and you will sleep too. She is upset b/c she is used to being right with you for the first 8 months of her life. You must be strong though, your doing this for you, her and your hubby. I used to use a little kitchen timer in my room and set it for like 10 min. I would let her cry it out for that long then I'd go back in and rock/soothe/nurse her asleep again, then lay her in the crib. It was not easy at first, but I think there were 2-3 bad days of this and then you re-train them. I also have a glider in her room and would keep the room pitch black (night lite only) when i would go in there to care for her in the middle of the night. The other great thing a good friend told me was, "The longer you wait to do it, the harder it will become." And that is so true! The older she gets she will be much more aware and much more against sleeping anywhere but with you, next to you. I remember dreading the day I would have to move my girl to her crib for night time b/c I knew it would be hell! But i am so glad i stuck it out and did it. now she is 16 months old and sleeps in her room. I guess she started to sleep in her room at about 9.5 months. Bear in mind it was not always perfect. We would have setbacks. Whenever we went somewhere on a trip out of town, her routine was gone, at a hotel for example, she would start in a porta-crib then end up in bed with us each night. And whenever we got back home from that trip the 1st 1-2 days back were hell again. But each time we stuck to it and she would always fall back into the crib routine like a champ. They need that reinforcement from you. They'll figure it out ...after they see you walk out of the room time after time. I am here for ya if you need any further advice...this issue has a special place in my heart b/c i was there not too long ago. **oh one other thing i did at first I took my pillow case off my pillow and laid it flat in her crib where her face went so she could smell me, or use a t-shirt whatever has your smell on it...it may help with her transition.

I agree with some moms, making the crib more comfortable, our bed was a plush pillow top and compared to his mattress it probably felt like a board to my son, so we got a thicker mattress pad and he loved our pillows, I was hesitant at first but when I saw him do well with the pillow during the day I allowed him to have it at night. We also at one point would put one of my fiance's shirts in his crib so he could smell daddy.

I'm not sure if the crib is in your room or in a seperate room for the baby but maybe if the crib is in the your room, it's a slower transitition for the baby. I would wait until my son was knocked out and transfer him from our bed to his crib very gently not to wake him.

Every child is different as they say, but now my son won't sleep with us at all. He's 2 now but by the age of 1 he was very independent and wanted to sleep in his own bed, he would point to his bed when he was tired. So hopefully she'll grow out of this phase!

Hi Lanta,
I am now pregnant with my third daughter and I had the same problem with my first. If you don't get a handle on the situation now, it will only get worse. Look at your routines in the day when she goes down for her nap, there must be something different that you are doing at bedtime that she is able to pick up on and knows the difference. If you cannot pinpoint it, then create a new routine for bedtime and stick to it exactly. If you try something once or twice and it doesn't work right away, then you change it , she will only get confused and you will never have your bed back, so no matter what stick to it! It is ok for her to cry at bedtime, you shouldn't let her go longer than 10 minutes, but if you let her fuss and give in to her she knows she has the upper hand and will continue to use that to end up in bed with you. Trust me I know it is difficult to hear your baby cry, but as long as you know she is alright and doesn't really need anything it will not hurt her. If she doesn't stop fussing after 10 minutes, don't give in and bring her into the bed. Take her out of the crib, stay in her room and read her a story or sing her a song to quiet her, when she is calm, try again. Repeat this until she knows that she will not get her way, or until she gets too tired to fuss anymore. I promise if you can get through a week of this, you will have her back on track and you and your husband will both appreciate the effort you put into it.

hello lanta. with two kids of my own i have been there but you really need to do the tough love thing i did it with my son and my little girl it hurt like hell but in 2 weeks they just forgot all about my bed . and my husband was thrilled he didnt have to sleep on the couch anymore !! haha good luck to you

Hi, if u wear a particular perfume, just spray it on her crib sheet or bumper pad , if u do not use perfume, wrap mher blanket around u 4 awhile so ur sent will get on the blanket and lay it over her. U'r 'scent' will help her to sleep by her self @ night and during the day. Good luck, this worked 4 me.

Hi Lanta -

Having 2 children I think I have learned a few things. If you really want your bed back you have to revert back to "tough love" Have you let her cry it out? I know that it kills you inside to hear your baby cry but after a few nights hopefully not many it will all work out. Also try to make her crib more comfortable. Maybe have the sides of the crib softer so when her back touches it whe doesn't feel the crib bars.

Great Luck!

H.
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