Wanting Another Child

J.,

Look first to your relationship with your husband. He needs to realize that with each child his input with the family will need to increase. I am saying this because my exhusband thought that he could just sit back and work and continue to golf a few times a week with no extra input from him.

Also, realize that ANY PREGNANCY CAN BE MULTIPLES! I didn't know I was having twins until after the first one was born. (I didn't have an ultrasound due to being self employed and it wasn't covered by insurance. Pregnancy was going fine) If you have fraternal twins in your family you have a good chance of having fraternal twins. Even if they aren't in your family, any mom can have identical twins.

I think that having your children 26-36 months apart is optimal. That is just a personal view from watching many family and friends and their children. Just go over everthing beforehand with your husband. Brainstorm over the different possibilities. Multiples, Stay at home mom or dad?, all girls, (for about 6 months our diaper bill was a $150 a month.) Talk about everything and get each other's perspectives, doubts, fears. Then have at it and enjoy all the kids that you will be blessed with.

Evelyn

J.,

I am a grandmother with a bachelors in child development. Siblings are close enough to play together up to three years apart. You should have the same opportunities for sibling relationship as long as you have the second baby before your first child turns three years old.
The intelligence level of a child is impacted by the nurturing that the child receives in his or her early years. Statistically first or only children have higher intelligence levels than a sibling born close behind them. If two siblings are five years apart or more, the second child has the benefit of the generally higher intelligence level of a first or only child.
I had a girlfriend who was one of two twins. She wanted her children to have the chose relationship she and her twin brother experienced. Just as she was starting to enjoy having time with the first child and thinking she wanted to wait a bit before having the second, she found out she was pregnant. Her two children were born close together. I do not know how that turned out. If you are not sure, waiting until your husband and you are sure about your decision would be wise.
A mother falls in love with her baby when the baby is between 6 months and 1 year old. I fell in love with my baby during that time. I thought, "I love this. I want to do this again." I needed to wait until my husband felt comfortable having a second child. Medical factors slowed us down as well. With our wait we had baby #2, an awesome child as was #1.
Remember to respect what your husband wants. That is probably the most important aspect of your decision making. Work together with your husband. See what he wants. Work together so that the two of you can lead your children with respect for your husband as head of the household.
You are young and your body probably has plenty of time to space your children according to your goals.
Bottom line: if having a close relationship is your first goal, having the second baby before the first baby's third birthday is ideal.

L. R.

Hi my name is A. and I have 6 wonderful kids, ages 19,18,17,16,9, and 8. Three boys and three girls. I'm 40 years old and a working mom. I started having my kids at 21 and I had them back to back, my first 4 are 11 months apart all in the month of May. Then time went by and felt my baby was starting Kindgarden and felt lonely so we decided to have another 4 but after the last 2 I decided that was enough and they are 14 months apart. It seems hard in the beginning because you have bottle after bottle, diaper after diaper, bathing, feedings, and all the other thing that come with being a mother but it all works out. They are close in age, but they look after each other, if one is not home yet, they call for each other they do worring for me. My first 4 right now are in their teens and ya it's hard, but because they are all different and have different needs. The oldest is a girl and then three boys, so my daughter is like their second mom. My daughter has helped me alot even when she was at the age of 3 she wanted to help with everything. My two youngest are girls and she helps with combing their hair, taking them to school, and their practices. Everything just falls in place and basicly we all help each other. My husband I agree to have kids, we just didn't know how many but we knew we wanted them back to back. Our thought was God would give us only what we could handle. There is ups and downs and we are constently reminding them of our principles. I've be able to maintain a job and be involve in their lives. I'm glad I had them back to back and glad we've been able to hold a solid relationship and harmoney in the house. I think what ever you have 2 or more back to back everything works out. My belief is God provides for everything and to have a big family is beautiful.

I am the mother of 5 children, all grown now and one has passed on. I had my children all less than 2 years apart, approximately every other year. I loved being their mom and would do it all over again. Have your baby when you want to. If it works out, great. If it takes a little time, treasure the one on one time with the one you have. Life is shorter than you expect it to be sometimes. I loved the hustle bustle of them all being together. It always seemed like a big gathering with the kids and their friends. To this day, we are all still very close. I hope I helped.

i am a mother of a 22 month old daughter and 2 month old son. I love my kids more than anything, but if i were to go back i would have waited a little longer to get pregnant with my second. it is really really hard work with 2 babies that are different ages. my daughter loves her baby brother so much that i can't leave the room for 2 seconds for fear that she will try and pick him up, or hug him and smother him, etc. enjoy the little girl you have. you are only 22 and have plenty of time to have more kids.

Hey, I say go for it!
I wanted just one kid so I wouldn't have to split my attention so much, but my hubby said it would be better to have two so they could be playmates when their friends aren't available. (He's so logical) So I agreed, as I usually do with his logic, and I am happy I did! We had two back to back. First the boy then a girl. They are 14 months apart and to this day he doesn't remember a moment without his sister since he was so young when we had her. Sure they still fight but they are so close when no one else is around to entertain them. They play Halo II together, occassionally they go to a friend's house together. They share a bunch of their friends at school. They went through the stages close together. Out of diapers and off the bottle at the same time since the younger one, the girl, wanted to be just like her brother. She even wore his jeans and tshirts until she got a girlish figure the wouldn't allow it. Now she looks back and laughs about it. (she's now 5'4.5" and 101 lbs, with a cute little figure... one I never had) When one is gone to camp, the other tends to get lethargic and ask when the other is getting back. I think the fighting is a form of entertainment to them when they are bored. I know it was with me, I had three older sisters. Oh, and many times I was asked if they were twins. How fun! I'd dress them alike at times. tee hee

They are now 14 and 15, going on 15 and 16. If you get a chance to help in their classes I highly suggest it. It's fun to see how the teachers structure their days, and fun to feel you've helped keep a child from getting behind. I helped in their school until 6th grade, then the pre-teen kids were kind of overbearing and I had to stop for my own sanity. Besides they didn't want me in their face anymore. ;)

Now I work part time in retail and help run the boy scout troop (not a plan, just happened, my husband helps plan the outings and I print a troop scoop to keep the parents informed, and I update their web page, and I am the secretary for their bi-monthly meetings, it's fun) My son will go Eagle this year. I was a girl scout leader for a year, but my daughter and I are more tom boys and it was too girly for us. So we quit and go on some of the boy scout outtings when we can arrange a seperate camp spot, and still be near them.

Helping them in school they were never behind and started taking advanced classes in the third grade! (I think partly because I knew where they needed help in their studie, and partly because of some of those learning computer games we bought them. "Jumpstart for Pre-school" and "Kindergarten" etc... all the way up to 6th grade. I highly recommend them!
My son can answer all of the "Are you smarter than a 5th grader" show questions!
They were even in a couple classes together because they were mixed grade level classes called GATE (Gifted and Talented Education). Sorry, I'm a proud mommy.

They are becoming their own people now but on vacations it was really fun because they didn't have to have a friend along to keep them company, they had each other. Now that they are older they are kind of going in seperate directions but I know they have a strong bond still.
I highly suggest having them close.

Oh, and another plus is that once they get older they will be out about the same time, and you'll be free again and still young enough to get back to doing the things you loved to do before having kids and being tied down!

I'll be 44 this year. My husband is 47. We're still young and energetic and can participate in skiing with them, backpacking etc... We got married at 20 and 23, and didn't have kids for the first 7 years of marriage! We were having too much fun with dual incomes and skiing and backpacking etc... Then when I was 27 it was time. Boom boom, I had two within the two years. We were done. I've never regretted stopping at two. They were a handful. Like having twins! And it was few enough that we had the money to raise them better than even we were brought up. We like toys, so my kids are spoiled brats. We have to constantly remind them of all they have when they gripe about wanting more. It helps.
I say, good luck, best wishes, and I think you should do this!
Lot's of love,
Val (if your husband is logical like mine, don't get upset with him for the lack of sentimentalness, instead take advantage of his logic and go with it, you'll be glad you did!)

I think it would be a great idea. I took the advice of my mom who said spread them out so you don't have 2 in diapers. My son is 4 now and I wish I would have had another right after so he would have a playmate. Now I am tired from being his only playmate at home to even consider getting pregnant. For me, the house work doesn't get done until my husband gets home and takes over because my 4 year old is my little shadow. I definitely could have handled 2 when I was in my early 20's but now I am 30 and I don't know if I could. Every parent is different and every child is different and if you feel like you could handle 2 I say go for it.

Hi J., If you and your husband are both on the same page and ready...it's time. I had my daughter at 22 and my son was born 29months later. You don't know how long it will take to get pregnant, so now is a good time to start and by the time you give birth your daughter will be a little older and will most likely love having a little brother or sister. She may even help with little things like getting a diaper or toy for him/her to help you. My children play so well together and my daughter takes very good care of her brother. They have great love for eachother. Now 5 and 2 1/2 years old. It can be hard having 2 little ones, but it's worth everymoment. Just be sure that when your next child is born you make a conscience effort to make sure your daughter is getting enough attention and feels included because it may be hard for her sometimes adjusting to not being the only star in family. If any grandparents and extended family can help it's smothering your daughter in extra love when the baby arrives. If she's communicating pretty well you can prepare her as you are pregnant and involve her with the process with talking to your tummy and being mommy's helper. That will make her feel important and all the more special when her baby bro/sis arrives. Best of luck!

Hello J., I agree with the other response, go for it. I have two boys they are eighteen months apart. I wouldn't have it any other way. My brother and I are the same distance apart in age as my boys, and I know I really appreciated that growing up. I just think its ideal to have siblings close together if possible. No more than three years apart. Just my opinion.

My husband and I are expecting #2 right now - he is due in 2 weeks :)! When we decided that we wanted another child, we looked at the next few months- we had a trip to Orlando, FL for a wedding, and I decided that I did not want to go to Florida with Morning sickness, we were planning on visiting a couple of theme parks and I wanted to be able to enjoy the parks, not be stuck not riding the rides or having fun! We also decided that we wanted our children to be at least 2 years apart, so we also waited until our first son was 18 months old before we got pregnant (which he turned 18 months right after we got home from our trip). We also looked at what time of year I would be pregnant, or when the baby would be due. I did not want to be 7-9 months pregnant in June, July or August with the temps getting into the 110's or higher. The first few months wasn't bad, because I knew it would be over soon and the weather would get cooler.

So look in the next few months and see if there is something you and your family are planning, adn decide if you want to be pregnant during that event (whether it is a vacation, or something else), then decide if you can handle the summer weather- and when you want to handle it (beginning, middle or end), then decide about how far apart in age you want your children to be. And make your decisions based on those factors, or other factors that you may think of. You just don't want Morning Sickness to ruin a summer vacation, or if you are planning on going to a theme park, you want to enjoy it, not be stuck not being able to ride the rides.

Good luck on having another little one (hopefully you will get your boy!!!)

Mine are 18 months apart and it's always been wonderful. Difficult at first (tandem nursing), very easy later. I always thought that I never had to deal with sibling rivalry or jealousies because, as far as the two are concerned, they've always been together. My eldest doesn't remember the brief time she was an only.

Something to think about: People are generally concerned about the eldest "accepting" the new one or "adjusting." Why? If the infant can handle the "adjustment" of an instant older sibling (joke!) why can't the elder? The new baby is never going to be an "only" and will never understand being the center of attention. Does that make their life experience less wonderful? NO! Your eldest won't lose anything, she'll gain the love of a sibling!

I have twins and then a baby who is 22 months younger. It's tough for a while, like having 3 kids in diapers, but they all love each other and will never remember life without the others. Plus, all your baby gear won't get too old to use for the next one. But remember - no guarantees that you will get that boy!

My brother and I are 3 1/2 years apart, and I have some memories of my life before he was born. Our kids are close together because we are older and had no time to waste, but I am really happy with how things are.

If you guys feel ready for another baby and feel that you can manage it emotionally and financially, then I'd say go for it!

I have an 18-month-old and am currently 2 months pregnant, and for many months I've been asking nearly every parent I know how they feel about the age gap between their kids.

I've come to the conclusion that there's no best answer - any gap can work well. Personally, I prefer closer because, like you, I'm glad I'm only 2 years younger than my own sister. My doctor tells me that waiting a year after a pregnancy is best for the health of mother and baby #2, as it can take that long to rebuild your body's mineral stores.

So basically, go for it! You have nothing to lose excpet a little sleep, and you're used to that now. :)

Hi J.,

Go ahead and have another baby but don't get too set on "a son". Just remember to give the older one a lot of attention when the new one arrives. Also, maybe a present for her "from baby sister/brother" when it does arrive and a baby doll so she can copy you.

V.

Dear J.,

I have two things to share with you:
1. your daughter is about the age where my baby was when I got pregnant again - twice. My children are 22 and 26 months apart in age. She will do fine . . .
2. two babies is A LOT more work than one! My son was so easy, I didn't worry about having another - but, boy! Everything multiplies by 4 or 5 (at least that's how it felt!) - but then they grow out of all those stages together and you move on to the next part of your life . . .

From my observations, people's childhoods or backgrounds color their desires in this area - if you did not get along with your siblings you want the opposite of your situation and vice versa (such as having a same sexed sibling you didn't get along with and wanting opposite sexed children of your own - or a sibling that was close in age to you that you got along with and wanting your children close together . . .)

Good luck with your decision and what God hands you!
B.

If you are ready and can afford it, go for it! My kids are almost three years apart (we were aiming for 2.5) and they get along great.

N.

My first and second are almost 7 years apart, and its very hard because they are at diffrent stages, and alway will be. However my 2nd 3rd and 4th are only 2 1/2 years apart. I love having the little ones so close together! Especially the 2nd adn 3rd, they are best friends at 2 and 3 (a girl and a boy), they just have such a great bond together, and play so good together. I can't wait for our baby to get a bit older so she can join in their fun! I say go for it! By the way we had our kids boy, girl, boy, girl, but you never know, you might get another girl! I wanted 2 together to be the same sex so they could be pals when they were older too (like my sister and I) but I chickend out on a 5th!

i have heard different things about having kids close together, good and bad, but it seems i hear the same with kids farther apart in age. i was closer to my older sister (four years apart) than my younger sister (two years apart) but my older two siblings are a year and half apart and they were inseparable. i think it depends on the child's personality.

my older three are each almost three years apart from the next. my youngest is two months and ive been thinking that if im gonna have another child, i definitely want to have the younger two be closer in age. because then it will be over sooner and i can get one of those five year IUDs!

children adjust very well to situations. my brother and i are 16 mos apart. i have two children 2 years apart and two that are 4 years apart. it is very different but all fine and good. i am actually like you =) i had my first son at 21 and our second at 23. it is a little difficult on the mom the closer in age they are because the first child is still very dependent on the parent and that is tricky when they need you a lot still and the newborn needs you 23 hours a day. having them four years apart is nice too because the older child can be very helpful. i wanted my children closer together because i figured they would have a closer relationship, but they all get along wonderfully. i would say the only drawback to putting off having another child is that your daughter will get more used to it being only her and that can be troublesome when she has to share mom and dad. that could teach her to be a little more self-centered when life is all about her. my last thought to share is - when we wanted a third child, we REALLY wanted a girl and i knew we had to wait until we would be thrilled with whatever we got =) we actually didn't find out what the baby would be and i really started wanting another boy - but we got a girl =) i say let God do what He is going to do - if you get pregnant - great, if it takes awhile then that's the way it should be =) but enjoy it all !!

Only have another baby if you want another BABY. Chances are you will end up with two beautiful daughters. :0) My first two were 19 months apart and it worked out well, but our first was very mature and a very good boy, so he made it easy. Go for it! But not because you want a son. There is no guarantee that baby #2 will be a boy. This I know, as the mom of four boys and no daughters.

hi i am a 30 y/o mother of four. my first three kids were born one year apart. my oldest two are exactly thirteen and a half months apart to the day. i would not change a thing about it. as toddlers they always had someone to play with. young children are more accepting to another child. we had our fourth one four years after the third one and the older kids were a little resentful at all the attention the baby got. i would definately recommend having another one now. in my opinion it is a perfect time. good luck.

hi J... (you have to excuse my english)i have a 6 and 4 years boys, its was hard when they were babies but now they play and have fun together, also they fight a lot because they want the same toy at the moment, but you know we can share all together fun and games, travel... and the best part you are going to stop buying diapers and bottles almost at the same time, i hope when you got pregnant its a boy, but even if is a girl, they are going to be best friends and you are gone be bless with the two princess... have a nice day

My two are now 16 and 17 (18 months apart) and I will tell you that I am glad that I had them close together and they are glad too.

Hi- our kids are 25 months apart and it went fine. It was a little crazy at times but I think that would be true for any sibling addition. A friend of mine had hers 16 months apart and she did feel like the older child needed more mommy time- like she had the 2nd too fast and she felt badly for her older one. But once they leave the young toddler stage, they need Mommy a little less so it generally isn't a big problem. I will say that my friends who waited for a 3 year age difference found that their 3 yr olds were quite helpful as an older sibling, getting diapers and wanting to play with the baby, where as a 2 year old is just not helpful at all!
Have fun!

I just want to respond to your letter about having another baby. I had 4 babies and all within 6 years. The closest in age were the 2nd & 3rd who were just 19 months apart. Although I was a busy mother for a long time, I wouldn't trade it for a million dollars. They were very close, especially when they were little, and now that they're grown, they still are. It's tough when they're babies unless you give yourself some slack and don't try to make things perfect for them. I found myself relaxing more with my youngest -especially about potty training, etc., and I enjoyed her infanthood much more because I was more relaxed. If you're a good mother, you know it and you don't worry about not beingt perfect. I think it's better having them close than having several years between them. They have more fun growing up and and fonder memories when they get older because they shared so much.

M. Peterson

My husband and I were in your same position last year when our daughter turned 1. We decided to wait another year until she turned 2 to start trying. The main reason why we waited a little longer was because I didn't want two children in diapers. I wanted potty training to be behind us with our first one before we started on our second. They will still be close enough in age to have that bond that you are talking about. I wouldn't wait too long though, because my husband is 5 years older than his sibling, and they aren't very close at all.

Hi J.: I have 4 kids (now grown). The first 3 were very close in age (22 months apart and 18 months apart) The 4th one came 5 years after. I think having them close in age was great. They were very close. I don't remember diapers being that much of an issue, and I used cloth diapers. Have your baby when you and your husband wish and with love everything will work out. Please don't fixate on a boy though. It can be very hurtful to know that your parents wanted something else. Each baby is a treasure in and of him/herself. If you decide that your baby, whatever the sex, will be loved and welcomed, all will be well. Good luck, Mary

If you want another child and are financially and emotionally ready for one then go for it! Just remember you may not get a boy so be sure you'll be still be happy if you have another girl.

I say go ahead with your plans. We had our 4 children close together and I was close to my siblings as well. I highly recommend having children close together especially where sharing is concerned.

I have a 9 year old son today! Wow! How time flies! But he and his brother are 22 months apart. I wasn't planning the second one (was on the pill in fact), so when I found out I was pregnant I cried. However looking back, it was such a blessing. I have loved every minute of it. They are so close and we have moved a lot so they are always there for each other. It's like having a built in best friend. They get along well with each others friends, but that's an expectation I have always had for them. I don't allow kids to come over who can't get along with them both. Not to say they always have to hang out, but I don't like having to be a referee.
Anyway, I personally took time off after having the 2 of them so close (I like to say, an official time out from having babies). Now I have another baby who just turned 1 this month, and I want to have another baby soon so he will also have a close playmate. I think if you and your husband are in agreement for another baby then your 1 year old will never know anything different than having a sibling. She will respond for the most part with how you 2 respond to it.
As far as wanting a boy, you have a 50/50 chance so don't have too high of expectations for this to happen. No matter what you have, it will be a blessing! Enjoy everyday you have with your children! They are amazing!

I wanted my children close together but it just didn't happen. I had three girls, (now 4 (almost 5), 11 and 15!) and I'm 47.

If you do the math, I was 32 with the first, 37 with the second and 42 with the third. :)

I love my children and wouldn't trade any for the world, BUT--that said--I'm 42 and trying to keep up with a preschooler!

Of course--my situation has it's good points too. Each of my kids had the benefit of my concentrated attention through their toddler years because their older siblings were in Kindergarten when they were born. Because of that, all three knew how to read before they went to K, they had lots of one-on-one time with Mom which--neuroscientists will tell you is a great predictor of a well-adjusted kid, and they all know without a doubt that I didn't love any of their sisters more than I loved them.

BUT!!! I have so many friends who were able to have their children close together, and while I'm raising a preschooler, they are enjoying their second honeymoon as their child-rearing stage is over and the kids are busy with their own lives. Yes--it's h*** o* the front end having two in diapers at once. I've seen my friends go through it. But then--in my case it was hard having one in diapers and then when they come out and you just start to appreciate being without them--there you go again! In the end--for me it was almost 12-15 solid years of any given stage because as soon as one stage ended for one kid, it started with the next.

I think my overall point is that either way it works for the good. But--if nature and biology allow you to have them close together: by all means, that would be my first choice!

But if you just want them close in age so they'll be close as siblings--you can't control that. There were six in my family and I was closest to the brother that was four years younger than me, despite the fact that there was one in-between. My two youngest daughters are inseparable, despite the fact they have almost a six-year difference as opposed to the five-year difference of the first two.

Hello J.!

My daughters are 27, soon to be 25, and 21. I don't think it really matters how close or far apart they are. My two youngest are the closest as I think there older sister took on begin a mother hen with they were younger. They all get along and spend time together. The two younger ones do alot of things together and they do try to include their big sister but she is very busy with her life. I also came from a family of 5 girls and 3 brothers. Iam the closest to my oldest brother and my youngest sister there is 10 years between. It wasn't that way when we were kids thou. I was closer to my oldest sister and there is 6 years difference. I think it is the way childrens personalities are if they are going to be rivals or close to one another. Brothers and Sisters are just that, they will have their diffrences but will protect one another. I have, twin brother and sister that are 3 years younger than me and I did not like them when they came along. I had been home with my Mommy for 2 years all day long all by myself. We lived in the country with no other children close by to play with. When they got older we got along pretty well. My husband is an only child and came into our family when I 15 and he was 17. What a shock it was for him. He and my youngest sister who was 3 at the time would just torrment him. But they have the closest connection of all my family.
As far as it goes with having a boy its all up to what every you get.LOL My poor husband is the only one that we know of in the world with our last name. As we have done many searches. So it ends with his girls. He loves having his daughters as he knows he is going to get sons-in-laws and he remembers how close he is to my brothers and sister. One of my daughters says don't worry Dad if I have a boy he will keep my last name! "If I am having a baby, it keeps my last name and that will be in my marriage agreement!!!!"LOL He loves his granddaughter and she calls for GranPa all day long.
Any way I think it is what ever you and your husband decide to do. Just enjoy your daughter and see what the future brings. My babies just came spaced out with no planning.
Best to you and your family!

I have three kids, two boys and a girl. The two boys are 15 months apart and the other two are 17 months apart. Although it is hard for a year or so with all of them in diapers, my husband and I love having them so close together. Our kids, now 9, 8, and 6, play with each other and have alot of the same friends, making get togethers easier. So if financially and mentally you are ready, go for it and have fun with them.

N.

My little boy just turned one in March, and my husband and I are already trying for baby # 2. I'm sure it's a lot of work in the beginning, but I think it's worth it in the long run. Good luck!

I tell everyone that we planned our children, but didn't choose their birthdays. :) My oldest two are only 13 months apart. They have considered themselves half of a set their whole lives (they're 20 and 21 now.) They fight, they complain, and they adore each other. It was very h*** o* them being separated when they were younger. Even now, when seeing each other involves a plane ride or hours in a car, they get together as often as they can.

We had to wait 7 years for the next child to arrive, and then 4 more years for the "baby." The older girls loved having a baby around, and hated having a baby around. You know how that is - they're cute and adorable until they need changed or mess up your room.

Don't worry too much about age differences. Your kids will love, and fight with, each other, no matter what. :)

Hi J.! I am 26 and have a 18 month old daugther. I would recommend to wait until your girl it's at least 2 yrs old. We're actually gonna wait until our child is 3 yrs to try. I think i just want to enjoy as much time as i can with my baby and then have another when she's older and able to understand what's going on n also even help =) pose to be jeaulous and angry.
Well wahtever your decision is i wish you the best luck and blessings
Maria

Hi J.,
I had my kids 16 months apart! All I can say is that it is a lot of work. There are so many benefits in the long run but just know that the first 5 years are hard. I am a stay at home Mom and married to a firefighter so he works very odd hours. I wouldn't change it for the world because my kids are now 2 and 3 1/2...they are the best of friends and the worst of enemies all at the same time. They are eachothers playmates but there is constant fighting and telling on eachother. SO as you can see it can get hectic but if you are up for the challenge I would say go for it. You are 22 and probably have a ton of energy. I was 30 and 31 when I had my kids. You are starting young and you will have your whole life ahead of you. Hope this helps.

When I was 22 we had our first son. Immediately we knew we wanted more children. My husband and I decided to have them close together because when i was younger my brother and I were 22 months apart and we did just fine. THat is what we planned our family on. My oldest is 6 and my two youngest are 4 (yes twins) they are all boys. My oldest loves the twins and never had a problem understanding the whole pregnancy/baby thing. Good luck!

hi J. my name is D. and i have three little girls 8,6,and two i come from a family of five and i think that its hard at first if you do decide to have them back to back the pregnancy and when they are both little and i do have to admit the oldest always suffers lack of something in someway no matter what. but when they grow older is a good thing and also as they are young they have someone to grow up with and to play with i think there is good and a little bit of bad too either way you go.its your choice i think get it out of the way is better. that way you could raise them both at the same time. and get it over with, but i do gotta say its work and alot of patience from both of you it has to be a team work your hubby will have to help alot at first. but in the end its what makes you guys happy.

I can only offer you my experience,J..I am one of 9 siblings.I had 4 sisters and 2 brothers.Mom had us all aprox.two years apart,and we all clicked great. I wanted a boy and a girl,because we planned to have only two children.I planned to have them two years apart,because I felt it would be a little easier on us. I figured,about that time, I would only have to deal with (One) in diapers,and on a bottle.The two year old,would be at that stage,where he was becoming (Independant) and wouldn't be quite as clingy,giving me needed time to cuddle with the new baby.Well....I had two boys! I'm sooooooo glad I did!! My eldest,was so active,and athletic, having a brother to grow up with was awsome!Things couldn't have worked out better for us.My two year old had just been potty trained,and he was off the bottle.The two of them were very compatible, Through their school years, Not only did they share alot of the same interest, but they shared alot of the same friends.They both turned out wonderful,and are extremely close today.It's my belief,that your always going to have a certain amount of sibling rivelry.One child seems to demand,and need your attention a little more than the other,however,I've never thought it a good idea,to have children to close together in age.I feel its unfair not just to the parents,because you subject yourselves to more work and stress,but I personally believe... that first-born,has the right to be (The baby) in the family for a little while.Don't you? I think your timing is perfect J..I wish you all the best.

mine are about that and we LOVE it...they play together well.

Go for it!

I don't know were you stand as far as God is concerned but for us when he isready to send you more it all falls into place. So if you both want to start trying now go for it. We have friends who have little ones that close or even closer and love it. For me my little ones are 27 months and 6 days appart and 29 months and 9 days appart. That was perfect for me as I am a breastfeeder and wanted each of them to have their own bonding time with me. What ever works best for you both will work for your daughter.

J.,

I think there are pros and cons to any child spacing. If you feel ready for another, go for it. My kids are 3 years apart and for me, that is a comfortable gap. My older child is more independent and easier to reason with. Especially now that my younger one is 18 months, my older one is 4.5. They still have their squabbles since my younger one is now touching my older one's toys but overall, they get along well.

I don't think having them closer together makes it any easier or harder, it just has its own set of challenges.

:)T.

Hi! I have 3 children aged 10,9,7. the oldest 2 are girls and the youngest a boy. I got married at 19 and got pregnant at 21, None of my children were planned, but I sure am glad that I had them so close to each other. They are best friends, but that doesn't mean they don't fight, but they grew up playing together. When I had my 3rd baby, my oldest was 3 1/2 years old, so the first year was tough, but once you get through it, it's smooth sailing :) Good luck!

Hi J.,

I have a son and a daughter, 11 months apart. My oldest was born when I was 22 years old. My children are now 12 and 13 years old. I must admit that it was difficult raising them their first years because I was a young, divorced mother however, as my children grew older, things became a lot easier.

My children have grown to be very close. They have been able to play sports for the same team, share the same group of friends, and have very similar interests. They even share a class together in middle school (they both play the trumpet and are in advanced band.) They do fight constantly but whenever they are apart, they miss each other terribly.

I am now happily remarried and my husband has helped tremendously with my children's upbringing. This is definitely something that is appreciated and greatly needed.

If you have your husband's help and support, now would be a great time to have your second child. It's not an easy job but in the end, your children grow up having close companions and friends in each other. Good luck with your decision.

S.

My daughter and her little brother are 2.5 years apart and I have to say that it is perfect! She is not only potty trained, but old enough to understand and "help" with the baby. She appreciates him much more than some friends, whose kids are only about 2 years apart. I wouldn't change it for th world!

I have a 3 year old and a 21 month old. Both boys, 15 months apart. I LOVE how close they are! I also have many sibling very close in age to me and I love it!