Verbage to Use When Introducing "Time Out"

Love and Logic is a great resource. They have a website with books, DVD's, classes, etc. We started using their strategy of: "Uh, Oh, need a little room time. So sad, throw a little fit and call me when you are sweet." (you sing it to whatever is natural for you). "I'll be happy to start your timer when you are sweet (or quiet if screaming)." Once the child is quiet in the room, start the timer for one minute per year of age. Once it 'dings' we give big hugs and tell the child how much we miss her/him. No need to rehash the offense. If you are able to respond without anger (the point of singing to him the Uh Oh song), the child will be able to figure out why. It does not matter if he plays in his room either. This eliminates power struggles as well. At first my kids had to have the door shut since they would not stay, but it does not take long for them to learn that "I will be happy to leave the door open if you can stay in your room."

Great resource, hope you find it beneficial as well.

With this age also, I really leaned on the DVD "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp. Great stuff there and it really works....still does with four year olds too.

Try to be consistent and simple in your words..."If you Blah then you go to timeout". If it is minor I give a warm reminder and if it is a major offense like hitting then I use a very serious and stern tone. I start my son off with a count to ten in the corner...this was especially good because it taught him to count to 10 in a day : ) I recommend sticking w/ the ten count till they learn to count to 10 (if they repeat the behavior then repeat the count to 10)...It will sink in very quickly. Once they master 10, move it to 20 and on and on. Once he was able to count to 30 (more or less) I jumped to 50 and I just counted for him and then we started to use a 2 min timer.

I still use the count to thirty timeout when we are in public. I think the important thing to remember when using timeout is that it is not meant to be punishment. It is meant to be a calming down period. To teach your child how to cope with stress. It is also good not to make it an isolation period. When I put my kids in timeout I am right there with them counting and teaching them to calm themselves if they are upset..."Take a deep breath...and calm down" sometimes I throw in a "namistea" cause it is the cutest thing ever to hear your 2 yr old say namistea : )

Also, when counting I always use a positive or calm tone. Which is maybe why both my kids acted like it was a game at first. But, I didn't want them to associate counting to seem like punishment. So, don't get discouraged if your child first thinks it is just a game. I was persistent and my kids got it after a few days and they love counting!

BTW, I have read the Love and Logic book and it had a lot of great suggestions. But, I feel that it has two problem areas: 1) It lacks teaching children to respect authority and 2) It leans too much toward using manipulation as a primary basis of parenting.

Jessica,

I completely understand. I have never spanked my daughter and she is 5 1/2. I believe that if you instill it early enough there are other options such as time out etc. For mine telling her I will erase her DVR shows works lol! But sometimes I still have to do Time out. Now I just say go to your room, but when she was younger like your son's age we did something else.

After working in daycare majority of them do not do Time out. There are some as it is not against any rule persay to do time out. We called it peace place, peace hut etc...
We had a carpet and next to the carpet was books, puzzles, puppet (act out their feelings), a poster with emotion faces, sensory bottles etc. If a child acted out or became out of control etc. We would send them to Peace Place. And they loved it yet it was a "time out" but at the same time they were occupied and would stay in it.

It works in daycare and with my daughter.

HTH

E.