Shouldn't a 18 Month Old Sleep Through the Night?

Couple q's- does she eat snacks between meals? I stopped giving my kids so many snacks and when they were hungry i fed them their meals even if it was a little early than normal. My boys are 18 months and they sleep through the night. Has she ever slept through the night? My boys didn't eat good or sleep good when they were sick w/ hand foot mouth. Maybe she is sick? Also, bottles after one year old and cause ear infections more frequently- thats what my pediatrician told me. Have you tried not giving her the bottle and just letting her cry and eventually she'll fall back asleep?

It's not necessarily that she's not getting enough to eat during the day. My son was consuming about 4000 calories during the day (and a REALLY healthy diet was what composed those calories), but during growth spurts would again wake up (around 1am) and eat a full meal. (He was a skinny toddler... just a fast grower... he NEEDED more nutrients during the night). During non-growth spurts he'd often wake as well, but that was easy, milk and done. (Gotta love the super food milk is).

My two suggestions about feeding in the daytime:

1) Stop chasing her about trying to get her to eat/ trying 10 million different options UNLESS she's dangerously underweight (in which case, she'll probably be put on a liquid diet in any event). It becomes an attention game/ power exertion. Offer, and LEAVE IT OUT IN REACH. She may just be a grazer and only need nibbles throughout the day (full meals making her sick), she may be digging the attention (negative or positive) on having you guys desperately trying to feed her. Take away the game. Food is there, and she can have it if she wants. When she's hungry (unless we're talking ASD or SPD) she'll eat. If she's ASD or SPD she won't (because it will have the same appeal to her as dog poo would to you)... but hey, that means you get into early intervention... so whether she eats or not... it's a win/win.

2) STOP limiting her milk. Milk (whole) has proteins, fats, sugars, vitamins, & minerals and is VERY important for early childhood growth ((you can get those things without milk/dairy in the diet, IF your child is a 'good' eater, but it's just *easy* if she'll take milk to get it from dairy)). Make sure it's whole milk because fats are uber important for healthy neural development (toddler healthy and adult healthy are two wildly different things). She may well be turning her nose up at table food in general because she's lacking the nutrients found so densely in milk, and so is instinctively refusing to fill up on food that is less 'dense' than she needs. ((It doesn't make sense from a logical standpoint; but it makes sense from a *biological* standpoint. Toddlers will follow biology before logic each and every single time))

Every kid is different. All four of mine are VERY different. Except, they all started sleeping through the night (6-7 hours straight then longer) at 4 weeks or younger.

At 18 months, I just wouldn't tolerate it. Honestly. I'd put the child to bed (again and again, if I have to) w/o doing any kind of thing that would want them to get up the next night. Sleep deprivation can actually be very harmful -especially every night! I'd probably get to the point where I am firm and stern about it. ...and that's it. Sleep deprivation can effect your health, your decisions, your energy, your immune system, your mood, etc. ...and kids need their sleep, too!

My son is two and doesnt sleep through the night. He hasnt been on a bottle since he was 9 months old, and he wont take a cup at night. So I understand how you feel about the sleep issue, the only way he will sleep is with me and my husband and its not all night. I havent had any trouble with him eating yet, did you say you feed her baby food? I would get her on table food if she isnt, she is too old for baby food in my opinion. Mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, spagetti? Try some of those yummy foods and eat with her, sometimes it helps when they see you eating the same thing. It can be more encouraging.

I really Ditto Riley J.

Each kid is also different.

My 1st child was a nightmare about sleeping and she was a bit colicky and sensory sensitive. But ate anything and everything.

My 2nd child was SO easy to put to sleep BUT he was a super picky eater since a baby. And still is, but he has NATURALLY, expanded his palate. He is now 4 years old.
I always go, by my kids cues.
Always.
We do not punish/reward about eating.

Both my kids, are super healthy and grow like weeds, and are tall lanky kids who have always been in the 97th+ percentiles.

My son is a grazer. Only eats until he is full. And LOVES milk. And drinks a lot of it.
My daughter eats heartily at each meal. Hates milk. THEN also has to graze throughout the day.... otherwise she gets really moody and irritable.
Both my kids, eat until they are full. Or they eat IF hungry. They know their body's cues for biological hunger or fulness. That is good. They do not eat to please me or out of emotional reasons or out of boredom. So, I have no problems with their food intake or palates.
I am also not a short order cook.
They eat.
Just differently than me or each other.
Its fine.
I know their cues.
They know it too.
We have never had food/eating "battles."

Next: NO, it is not a mandatory thing, that a baby at 18 months old is 'supposed to' sleep all night without waking.
18 months old is also a growth-spurt time.
My kids, woke and ate a ton, at growth-spurts.
For my kids, they did not sleep through the night, naturally, until about 2+ years old. Then it was a natural progression, that their sleep matured this way.

Just give your daughter, milk. She's not getting much.
They need the milk fats in it. Milk fats, is an essential nutrient... for brain development too. And it also helps, with sleep.
She is not getting much milk. Solids, does not replace milk intake.

I agree with a lot of what Riley had to say as well. As far as the sleeping, I don't necessarily think it's related to the eating. It sounds as if she knows if she wakes up she'll get cuddles and milk and that's what she's going for. Personally, I wouldn't give it to her. I value my sleep and unless my child is sick, I don't really "do" getting up at night. In fact, if my kids do wake up during the night at this stage I know it's b/c something is bothering them (sick, teeth, nightmare, whatever!) so I tend to them immediately and haven't had too much issue with unwanted waking!

As far as the food, I agree to let it go. Give her milk if she wants it. My son (20 months) drinks quite a bit of milk, but I let him. He's still on whole milk, will be until he's 2, and he loves it, I mean honestly, who wouldn't! It's creamy, cold and delicious! ;) Too much calcium can intervere with iron absorption so you do have to be somewhat careful, but it sounds like she drinks lots of water and smoothies, so I really wouldn't worry about too much milk at this stage of the game. If she's eating 1-2 bites of a bunch of different things, that's great! My son is also a picky eater and he eats what he eats and try not to stress about it. Try is the key word!! Somedays I feel like he doesn't eat anything, but the next day is usually better. If you're offering good choices, then she'll be fine! I tend to agree that maybe this is a power struggle situation for her, don't let it be! It's great that you're doing smoothies...you can get lots of nutrients in there!

Hang in there! It sucks to be tired! Come up with a plan that seems reasonable for you to follow in terms of eating and drinking and consider weaning her off that nightime bottle!

This may be totally off but have you thought of food allergies? I had severe food allergies growing up and would refuse to eat anything that I somehow knew would upset my stomach. The light bulb didn't go off for my mom until I was diagnosed at age 8. Once she and the doctors figured out what I could eat I started to eat normally. Or maybe it's a texture issue. My daughter had problems with certain textures. Keep trying. In fact try putting the same thing in front of her for every meal and always offer what the rest of the family is eating. Don't force it but do reprimand her for throwing food on the floor. If she's losing weight and it's becoming a major issue I would suggest talking with your doctor and they can refer you to an eating specialist for kids.

should they? yes. do they? not mine! my 12 year old didn't until she was 2 1/2 and my 21 month old I'm lucky if she sleeps 4 hours straight!

as for the feeding - is her dr concerned? If not, then I wouldn't worry so much as long as she's healthy and meeting milestones. But my daughter isn't an eater. She has to go a feeding & growth clinic this week. If I get any pointers I'll share!

Most of mine haven't slept through the night at that age. Many do, though. But mine don't sleep through the night until they get all their teeth - around 2.5 years old. Though, my 12 month old has been sleeping through the night the last few weeks. I don't make it a big deal with my others. I never make nighttime a fight! But I'm also a co-sleeper. So, if they aren't sleeping, they usually fall asleep in bed with me. I get more sleep that way. Though, again, my 12 month old is much different! She sleeps great in her bed all night. I just think at 18 months they are too little to discipline too much about not sleeping in their bed all night. If she won't eat enough during the day, does a quick bottle at night fix the problem? If so, I'd do that until you can get her eating more. She might be teething.

Have you tried only fruits and/or veggies? Apple slices, sliced bananas, olives, sliced green peppers, etc. My kids love eating those things!

There are two routes you can go:
1 - Stop the smoothies ... cold turkey.
When she is hungry enough she will eat what you provide. Then just offer her one or two things. Say firmly, but kindly, THIS is your dinner (lunch, breakfast, snack) right now. There will not be anything else. You can eat it or not, but there won't be anything else.
(If your child is severely underweight you probably need to consult your doctor on what to do, but if she is normal weight, then missing a meal will not hurt her)

2 - Transition the smoothies to incorporate more tastes into them (like add some of that baby food you are offering to her -- but at 18 months you could just be adding regular food). Make them thicker (give her a cup with a straw to suck them up) and then gradually make them so thick that it takes a spoon.

At 18 months with 12 teeth in she needs to be moving from food that she sucks to food that she eats off a spoon, picks up with her fingers, chews, and swallows. The smoothies in a sippy cup don't do that. They are the "easy" way for you to get her to eat and she knows you want her to eat and will cave in and give her that. They continue to fill a familiar comfort zone of feeding for your daughter -- that food comes from sucking on something. But they don't provide the chewing that she needs to be doing, or the transition to adult food.

Good luck on this.

Hi--
Has she had problems with digestion in the past? Constipation (not going at least once a day) or frequent diarrhea or acid reflux/spitting up? Or does she gets rashes of any kind? Just questioning to make sure she's not in some kind of discomfort and that's why she's not eating. My youngest had stomach sensitivities and didn't eat solids at all until 13 months, so that's why I ask. Lots of people stay stop the smoothies, but if they are just fresh fruits and veggies I can't imagine why you would stop. She likes them and they are healthy--it's a win/win in my mind.
Is she teething molars? Sometimes this makes it hard to chew and keeps a child up at night. Also, neither of my kids slept well at 18 months, so you're not alone in that. I understand how hard it is to make smoothies when not at home---my guess is this is just a phase. Continue to offer solid things to her, but as long as she's gaining weight and healthy I wouldn't worry too much.You do't want to make eating stressful, as that could have long term effects that are really not fun.
Oh, and have you tried sunflower seed butter? It's more solid, but still staying away from tree nuts. My youngest loves it. It's a smooth consistency so easy to eat if her mouth hurts, but easy to give her a spoonful when you are out. Just a thought.....
good luck!
J.

For the feeding - she may have a textures issue - talk to her pediatrician about it.

For the sleeping - - This is NORMALtoddler behavior. Even adults do not or cannot sleep ALL NIGHT without waking, wanting a drink, hungry, bathroom, heard a noise, had a bad dream - so why would anyone think an infant or child can when they are not even close to the mental/physical/neurological maturity of an adult? Being a parent comes with certain absolutes - loosing sleep for the first 2-3 years is one of the given ones

My three year old still wakes up once a night sometimes. :) And when he was 18 months, he wanted to nurse or drink water or something before he could go back to sleep. Started putting a sippy cup in his bed. That helped a little bit. But now he wakes up, crawls into my bed, drinks from his sippy cup and goes back to sleep. I have an older one too, who did this until about last year. He's only a year older, so now at 4, he pretty much sleeps through the night. He still will crawl in bed with me at 6 am on some mornings. :)

As for the sleeping, not many 15-20 month old kids sleep well. They are in the middle of a huge growth spurt. They are going so much during this time that they should be hungry all the time and waking up for food is a normal part of that.

I'll give my advice as if she was not having the eating issues because I just would be confused too.

Eat breakfast, then around 9:30 or 10 have a nice morning snack. Not a meal and not just a cookie and 4oz of milk. Something like a mini meal. We do things like lemon poppy seed muffins or chocolate chip muffins, oatmeal cookies (the nutritionist says they are not junk), something that has enough carbs that will tide them over.

The around noon a small to medium size meal. After nap time she'll need a substantial snack or a small meal. Then dinner. After dinner and all the evening things are finished, like baths, give her another small meal/snack. This should have milk, protein, carbs like 1/2 slice of whole grain bread, etc...then tooth brushing and off to bed. It will help her to stay asleep and it will help her body do the job it needs to do.

As for the eating issues I have no idea what to say. It sounds very frustrating and hard for any mom to have to go through. Just listen to the docs and keep on top of her weight so she gains normally.

I agree - talk to your pediatrician about the eating and potential correlation the sleeping. As for sleeping... my 4 year old still wakes up some nights (2-3 a week lately)! Good luck

First off, it's time to wean her from the bottle. Start diluting her milk, and do it pretty quickly. Give her milk in a cup at meal time instead. While nursing well beyond 12 months is perfectly fine, giving a bottle to a child over 12 months is highly associated with increase dental cavities, especially at the back of the tooth where it's easy to not see. Get her down to only water in a bottle.

Second, stop giving her so many choices at meal time. And stop feeding her. Either give her a chunky baby food or give her what you are eating. Prepare it for her (small, finger sized/bite sized chunks) and set it in front of her with a toddler-friendly spoon. If she eats with her fingers, that's fine. If she makes a mess, that's fine, too. But give her control over how she eats and you can have much more control over what she eats (do have a few things that she eats well, like cheerios or something, to offer her if she eats none of it). But stop going through all these choices.

Last, many 18 month olds don't sleep through the night. They have developed separation anxiety and also attachment to habits. Give her only water in a bottle at night (I remember this fight with my daughter at 18 months!) and give her cuddles. Or let her sleep with you, if that helps. That's what I did, and then I coslept with my other kids until they were about 2. It let me sleep better, I had plenty of time later to "wean" them out of my bed, and they are great sleepers now.