Seeking Help with My 14 Month Old

Updated on May 09, 2008
A.P. asks from Leawood, KS
19 answers

My son hates being changed. As soon as I put him on a changing table, pad, carpet, etc., he starts throwing a fit, crying and kicking. It is such a struggle putting diapers and clothes on him. Is there anything I can do to get him to calm down. I've already tried distractions with toys, but they do not last long

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So What Happened?

Thank you for all of your advice. I have tried the stand-up change, and it has improved the fits a little bit. I don't feel confident with changing him standing up when it is a poopy diaper, so I will make silly faces and make up songs when he is laying down to be changed and that also seems to help. I think most of you are right about not making it a battle between him and me. Again, thank you for all of your great ideas.

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M.L.

answers from St. Louis on

have you tried a story or a song while changing and smiling so he will join in if a song. The story do a poem kind. Like hickory Dickory Dock. Then let him know each time you change him a new song poem or story and be excited. he may catch on. I even let my grandaughter help me.

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M.W.

answers from Joplin on

Oh A. I feel you I my self deal with the same problem, he is 2 now but started several mths ago, but after chasing him through the house and finale get him down and still to change. We tryed letting him stand up but he would just take off, the only aproach we have found was to take him to his room with cartoons on and lay him on the floor with his sippy cup. Some times it dont work and its still a battle. A little pat on the bottom help's some times. But I like what the other moms said maybe potty training he may be trying to tell you he is ready, let him run around in pull ups while at home and offer the potty every ones in awhile. See what he does he may shock you or may not. Good luck hope you find something that helps.

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S.M.

answers from St. Louis on

Hello A.,

Well I dont know if I can actually help you. My son who is 18 months old started this same exact thing maybe about 3 months ago, he will scream, cry and wiggle and try to get away..Latley when I change him I decided to just be silly and make noises and sing and then he calms down also if he doesnt let me I have my husband do it and he struggles for a minute and finally he is changed! This may be a phase and it will pass!!
Good Luck! Hope this helps!
S.

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B.I.

answers from St. Louis on

My daughter did the same thing, she would kick and try to roll over while I was changing her. I brought her to work with me, so i didn't like the fact of other people seeing her act like that. What I did was feed her ice chips while i changed her diaper. She loves ice chips, and she would hold still. Good luck. The good news is, it does get better, its just a stage they go through.

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A.K.

answers from St. Louis on

How long do these fits last? You may want to try letting him have his fit. Until he calms HIMSELF down, you're not going to change his diaper or put on his clothes. So, he can't go play, or do anything until his calms down and lets you get on with the change.

It takes two to have a struggle, don't let him suck you in to a battle. It's just another version of a power struggle. Step back and make it clear, you're not fighting him about changing HIS diaper.

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B.E.

answers from Springfield on

my son is like that when he gets ear infections. has yours been fussy otherwise? might look into it.

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S.T.

answers from Columbia on

My son is the same. He hates being demobilized. There is too much to do to be troubled with a diaper change. I had to change him without a changing table recently, so we had to change standing up. He didn't fuss a bit. So it might be worth trying that. It can be hard to get the hang of, but it might be worth it.

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M.E.

answers from St. Louis on

Think it's time to potty train :) Kids at 14 months can do it!

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A.V.

answers from St. Louis on

At 14 months old you should already be potty training him. This will help him feel more independent too. Of course I understand that you will still have incidents of needed to change him. I would suggest changing him while he's standing. Also you could start teaching him to clean himself. If he wets himself have him take off the diaper (although pull ups work better for this) and then he can sit on the toilet while he wipes himself. Let him use flushable wet wipes so after he's done cleaning (and you've checked him) he can flush the toilet and then wash his hands. It'll help him get the idea that going in the toilet is better and it give him a smooth transition from diapers to toilet.
Good luck!

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M.J.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi, A.. Have you tried him on his tummy? Just an idea to see if maybe his back is bothering him. I had a friend who did change her son standing up. I imaging the poopy ones would be a bit of a problem, though. Does he watch cartoons or listen to music as a distraction? Oh, maybe a picture of Daddy? We had a few times of struggling and we had to hold their arms down with our legs and then grab their legs with our arms to wipe the poop so they didn't get it everywhere. Sounds bad, but when you've good a poopy explosion and a struggling kid, you've got to do what you can. Good luck.

Melanie in Swansea, IL

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C.G.

answers from Kansas City on

I had the same issue with my daughter. I used distraction with toys, but honestly, I had to use a different toy EVERY TIME. And the toy had to have a blinking light, a noise, something to keep her attention.

I would also change her standing up, if it was only a wet diaper.

This went on for about 2 months, and then she went back to being more relaxed with diaper changes.

Hope this helps - good luck.

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T.H.

answers from Wichita on

My granddaughter was the same way. She hated being layed down to change diapers. We changed her with her standing up. Not a problem, and actually easier to clean too. No legs to hold up to clean the bottom. And keeps them happy. Good luck.

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A.C.

answers from St. Louis on

My daughter was the same way. It would pretty much take two people to change her. My grandparents watch her while I work in the mornings, and you should have seen these two 78 year olds trying to battle with a baby. It was pretty funny. Unfortunatly, you just have to let the phase pass. Pretty soon your son will not mind changing time and will know that it is quick and easy. Until then, just try not to lose you mind :)

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T.Z.

answers from Topeka on

My daughter went through the same thing, but it started a bit younger. I made up a ridiculous song about how she needed a diaper change and then a song about every step of the diaper change. I sang it every time and made sure that I never acted like it was a problem to change her diaper. I think the routine and the silly mama helped to keep her calm. It was also a great opportunity to start talking about using the toilet. I'd tell her that when she was ready to go in the potty then we wouldn't have to do diaper changes. I thought that she was probably too young to understand, but she seemed to get it and even started showing me that she needed to go beforehand so we wouldn't have to do a diaper change.

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C.S.

answers from St. Louis on

14 months is so early to try to potty train. I have NEVER heard of anyone being successful at that age. I think it would totally stress you and your little one out, making matters worse. I had the same issue with my son at about 18 months or so. I gave him choices and it seemed to work. I would let him pick - Do you want to stand or do you want to lay down? Sometimes the choices were, Do you want to stand or do you want me to hold you down? Both methods work great. The BM's are not hard to clean up while standing. FYI, I know someone who let their little one run around naked and they didn't grow out of it at an early age. They were then dealing with a school aged kiddo that was constantly wanting to take her clothes off. I think that teaching modesty at an early age is not a bad thing. It opens the lines of communication to talk about things that are inappropriate at an early age. For example, what is appropriate touching and that only a mommy or daddy should see under the diaper/undies, etc. My daughter wanted to run around naked when she was little and when I wouldn't let her, she would ask why. Good luck!

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C.G.

answers from Kansas City on

With all three of my boys (4, 2, and 9 months) I sang Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes during diaper changes. It got their attention and they learned their body parts better and faster than peers!

After they learned the parts, then I started asking them, "Where's your nose?"...etc..

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K.C.

answers from Wichita on

I had this problem with both of my boys (now 6 & 2) & rarely do I still have this problem with my 2 y/o. What I did was sit on the floor with my legs stretched out, my son laying down to be changed & I put my ankles on his upper arms to keep his arms from thrashing around. I told him that if he lays still I would let him go. I did this everywhere when he wouldn't lay still (including public bathrooms). After a few diaper changes he realized he would be realeased & changes would go faster if he didn't fight me. With public bathrooms I kept a long changing mat to lay him on & put an extra diaper under his head (like a pillow).
Another option is to let him stay in his dirty diaper until he is calm enough to be changed or until he decides that he wants to be changed. That way it is his choice & he can have a little independence, (obviously don't let him stay in a dirty diaper all day).

God Bless!

D.H.

answers from Kansas City on

Try changing him on the floor. Put a towel or pad on the floor and change him there. He may be having a challenge with thinking he is going to fall. Good luck and God Bless.

J.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I know exactly what you mean. Only our daughter is 9mos old, has been this way since 8mos old, and has a fit not only when having her diaper changed, but also when being put in her highchair and car seat. I do my best to be patient with her and try to wait her out. But there are days! I just keep telling myself that hopefully it's just a phase. Good luck!

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