Relatives Insist on Calling Daughter by Her Middle Name

Talk about confusing a child.
No, that is not OK for them to do.
Her name is the one that you, her mother and father gave her and what you wanted her to be called.
How rude to disregard that.
Well, I agree with what the others have told you so far, try to let your husband deal with it first - but don't let him say that "It really bothers my wife that...." NO- this should come from both of you. "we don't like it when -----"
Short of any other ideas, I'd say start calling your nieces and nephews by some other odd names, and perhaps then they'll get the picture.
Your daughter is at a young age where as right now she is starting to recognize that she is "XXX", and noone should interfere with that.
As far as when your daughter goes to bed and wether or not she watches TV????? Why does she even care? Perhaps she is silently wishing that she actually had succeded in this herself, without relying on the TV being her babysitter. You just stand your ground - Your child = Your Rules.
And that's that.
E.

why would you allow someone else to control you and any situation they want. Your daughter your rules maybe you need a long break from them until they can respect you and your rules. Let's hope that your husband supports your decision

Your husband should handle this. He needs to let them know it is not OK to disregard your wishes for your daughter, and if they continue to, they won't be seeing you or your daughter anymore. My in-laws tried to steamroll me right after my daughter was born and that was the LAST time they did so.

What I don't understand is why family members would purposely want to push away and alienate their nieces, nephews, and grandkids! People who do what your in-laws are doing don't seem to understand they are only shooting themselves in the foot.

This is a power play - they are trying to put one over on you. If you don't nip it in the bud now, it will get worse with time. Take it from someone who has been there. My in-laws were very passive aggressive with me until my daughter was born and I made it clear that if they didn't show me some respect that they wouldn't be spending time with her. My husband gets it now and backs me up when need be - although it is rarely necessary now that we have made our boundaries clear and they are aware there are consequences for their actions.

When we are together now, there is no more BS and we can all have a pleasant time - and that is what I want for my daughter, for everyone to get along even though we don't necessarily adore each other.

It sounds like she has her own issues... maybe you make her feel inferior? My ex-husband's cousin used to be rude to me too... it turns out that they had been trying for a baby for awhile, and she was jealous that I had a child first.

Talk to your husband. He should tell his sister and her kids to knock it off. Some may call you anal, but it doesn't really matter. She is your daughter, and they need to respect how you choose to raise her.

If nothing else, just ignore her or pretend you don't know who she's talking about unless she uses the appropriate name.

My son's name has many different common nicknames. My in-laws were calling him by a different name than we were even though they knew it bothered me. It wasn't until they were at the meeting with us to get my son evaluated by the regional center (he was a preemie, so they were just checking his progress at 1 year) and a professional in child development told them to stop that they finally listened.

Hi, S.,

I'm writing to express my sympathy over the name issue. I want people to call my son by his legal name but almost everyone else calls him "Alex," which I dislike very much. (I wanted very much to name my second son "Andrew," but my husband forbade me from doing it because when he was a little kid he was harrassed by a kid named "Andy!") I have decided not to fight my relatives, though, because the cost outweighs the benefit of winning that battle. My in-laws call my husband, Glenn, "Glennie," which I hate. I try to mentally block out the sound when they do that. Old habits die hard, so it's hard, if not impossible, to change others.

Sorry your sister-in-law is criticizing you over TV and bedtime habits. Like your sister-in-law, I let my kids watch TV (an hour a day in my family's case) and go to bed later than yours. However, I would not criticize you or anyone else for setting the rules you've set. If I were in your position, I might tell your sister-in-law, "Thank you for describing your guidelines. I've already established mine. Glad we're all happy with our routines."

Good luck,
Lynne E

My husband and I have an understanding. I deal with my side of the family on issues and he deals with his side. Ask your husband to address this issue. Clearly your sister-in-law is out of line and need to respect you and your family. And by the way, my son always went to bed by 7:00 until he was over two.

M.

S.,
Are you being anal? Absolutely not! They are disregarding your feelings and disrespecting you. Sounds like the teens are listening to their mother. I agree with the others - let your husband handle it. As for TV watching, the recommendation now is NO TV until after age 2 - including those Baby Einstein "instructional" videos. They have found that it delays verbal communication in children. But if she won't listen to the new advice, just know that she is probably feeling inferior at your advanced parenting skills!

Best of luck,
C.

wow, seriously, tell them firmly you dont like it, if they still do it, call them by another name, see if they like it very much!!!

No, you are right...they should call her by her first name and if they want her second also. I think it is rude not to call a child by the name the parent wants her to be called by. I taught preschool Sunday School and a little girl, Rochelle, was in the class and I called her "Shelly" because I had heard another adult call her that. The mother requested I use Rochelle and after that I did. It sounds like you are doing much better at parenting. Little one should be in bed by 7pm and they should not be watching TV at 15 months.

Because it apparently is close family that you see often, it is a problem what to do. I almost think you should call Dr. Laura and ask her:) Do you have other siblings, nieces and nephews, grandparents that call her by her correct name? Have you spoken to the nieces separately and explained how you feel or are they just as rude as your sister-in-law?
Enjoy your little girl and try not to spend much time with them is my only suggestion.