Raising a Sensitive Child--kind of Long

Could I direct you to my daughters website? She is raising a fabulous little boy ( Kieran) who will be 3 in a couple of weeks. He is ULTRA sensitive ( also ULTRA smart...ULTRA adorable..but hey I am Grandma...I am allowed to brag!! lol). She has recently written a couple of articles about raising a sensitive child that might be helpful for you.
Her website is CodenameMama.com and she has a way there for you to contact her personally. She would be a WEALTH of information for you.!!!

It sounds like your son is extremely intuitive, bright, and yes, sensitive. I think it's a gift. My daughter (now 6) is the same way... always has been.

I'd like to recommend this book, The Highly Sensitive Child:
http://www.amazon.com/Highly-Sensitive-Child-Children-Ove...

Also, there's a parent's group you can join for advice and support. It's been a great resource for me:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/hscbook/

aw A., what a sweet little soul you have been blessed with. i myself was one of those. i don't ever remember getting in trouble as a kid - my mom said i was always "so good", she never had to get onto me. but MY memories include her giving me a stern look and my insides dropping out in shame. i HATED her disapproval and would do anything to be the "good kid". i see some of my son in me. he's also very shy and sensitive sometimes. not always, but i see it there. his feelings get hurt easily. all i can say, because i don't have the magic answer either, is to love him to pieces. shower him with approval and affection and be a great mom to him. it's so easy when you have a sweet boy like ours. treasure him. what i tell my son, because he gets nervous/shy in lots of situations, is that yes, sometimes we get scared, but sometimes we have to do what scares us. that's what makes him a big brave boy. it's okay to be scared but we have to keep going anyway. it's not going to magically make it disappear, but i hope that it will teach him that it's okay to feel intimidated, and give him pride that he stepped into that room full of people anyway. it's so tough being the shy/sensitive one...!

(ps, i now what you mean about not being one of those coddling mothers - my son is physically the toughest kid i know! you should hear some of the KONK's i hear, and he just gets up and keeps going. even the bad ones, he will sit there a S., and i'll ask him, are you ok? he kind of shakes it off and takes stock, then he's like, "yeah, i'm all right." and just keeps going. then he'll have a goosegg on his head a few minutes later lol)

Raising an emotionally intelligent child. Such a good book, has parenting assessments and all that too. Just get down on his level and validate his feelings... you see he's sad, does the fighting make you sad? Stuff like that. Definitely let him know that it's okay for him to cry and tell your ma to chill out. It'd be nice to have a nice man in the world :) I wouldn't be so scared for my daughter in our shallow world lol.

My (now 15 year old) son has been like this, too, since he was a baby - he was super sensitive as a little boy, but now that he is older I see him growing into an incredibly empathetic young man and I can't tell you how proud that makes me. The worst thing you can do with a kid like this is tell them NOT to cry! Children should never be made to suppress their feelings. Of course, they need to learn to channel them in appropriate ways, but they need to be validated nonetheless. This is not "babying" him. It is so great that you recognize these qualities in your son and want to be supportive...when I was a kid, every time I cried I remember how upset my mom would get - she just couldn't handle it and would actually tell me to not cry because it didn't "solve" anything! Explain to your mom that she shouldn't be telling him things like "toughen up" or calling him a "cry baby"- hopefully someone else on this site will be able to direct you to some useful books or articles about raising sensitive children that you could then share with her. Your son has been blessed with a kind and empathetic spirit - what a wonderful thing! :)

I second what Angela said. One of the best things the book did was help me discover ways to stick up for my daughter instead of her getting labeled in a negative way.

For example in response to what your mom said, you could say: "I don't think he's being a cry baby, I think its great he has great empathy of others, its a wonderful gift and not many kids his age do"

My younger son is that :) Aren't they a joy? :)))
My older one is what I call an "Alpha Male" so I enjoy and cuddle and talk to the little guy as much as I can :)

As for tips: I do keep him away from rough kids (including his bro), validate all his feelings (saying things like "I know, they are wrong", "I understand, that upsets me too", etc.), do not let other kids bother him (I do step in and do not have a problem telling rough kids to play some place else), ask the preeschool teacher to sit him with nice quiet kids. And I like being around him in general...so we spend a lot of time together :)

First thing to rule out is Sensory Processing Disorder also called Sensory Integration Dysfunction. Great books are The Sensory Sensitive Child, Sensational Kids, Growing An In Sync Child, Reflexes, Learning and Behavior. He needs to be seen by an occupational therapist who specilaizes in SPD. She should be SIPT certified. He may not feel secure in his vestibular system so he is afraid of life. I work with children like this so if you need help, just write.

you are describing my 21 yr old at that age he was the same way. he didnt really toughen up till he was in his upper teens. mine was a drama queen and you have to make sure its not a drama queen thing and if it is put a stop to it trust me on this.he has a pure heart. but I had to put a stop to my son when he was older using crying to try to control a situation when he wasnt getting his way. make sure he isnt trying to control his friends or family by using the crying to control a situation out of his control. just my experience mine was using it as a control thing. I know its hard but quit nurturing so much. this isnt meant to be mean I am telling you what I did wrong. I never yelled or spanked to induce the crying either he just wanted control.

He sounds like a normal baby boy to me.