Potty Training....3 Year Old with a Severe Language Delay...

You've got a benefit in that he wants to wear undies. Make it an incentive: if he can go dry and clean for a day, he can wear the undies. But as soon as he wets himself, he goes back to diapers (or training pants).

We bought the really thick cloth training pants at K-mart, along with plastic diaper covers, and it really reduced the mess, at least outside of the underwear.

Is it possible he's not quite catching the signals that he needs to go? Poop and pee are very different body signals, and even different nerves, so he may just not be getting it quite yet.

I am an ABA therapist, and I wonder, if he has a language delay have you ever tried to get him qualified for in-home services? He might not qualify now since he's 3, but he might be able to see someone - speech therapist or OT - and the fact that he's not quite ready to potty train could be related to cognitive delay, so you could see about getting help with that. Also who told you that it was difficult to test his cognition with a language delay? That seems weird to me, so I would recommend getting him tested again at a different place if you can. Anyway, something we use is having the kids clean up after themselves when they have an accident. It might sound kind of mean asking a little kid to wipe up his urine, but if he doesn't like it very much, he is unlikely to keep having accidents! I would keep putting underwear on him at home since that is what he prefers and he will void in the toilet with a BM - that's usually the one that is more difficult to get kids to do! He's obviously on his way to being ready, so don't give up and go back to diapers. I've heard of a program where you can potty train kids in 3 days if you stay home for the entire time and keep them in underwear the whole time (even overnight - it's a lot of work for you). I don't know what it's called but I'm sure you could look it up - supposedly it's awesome. My friend's 3 year old who has autism was potty trained that way and she spoke highly of it. Good luck!

What about thicker training underwear? I struggled with my son for most of the year he was 3 and he finally got it right before he turned 4. He was in pull ups when we went out for a very long time. I tried having him try to use the potty every hour. There were fewer accidents but way more battles over stopping what he was doing to use the potty. It's more work for you but taking him every hour or whatever is probably the most practical way for now.

How about trying Pull Ups? Those he can do more himself and feel like a big kid. It does sound like to me that he just isnt ready like you said. Give Pull Ups a try, maybe even let him pick them out.

Have you used any pictures for transitions etc?
Very simple thing you can start is get a strip of velcro and take a picture of the toilet and other things to represent your daily transitions and talk about what you are going to do but use the pictures as visual reminders ( example) say ok we are going to put away the puzzles and Then we are going to go potty then the next picture/transition be something fun say AFTER we go potty we can
( fill in the blank with something your son enjoys)
Might help...I dunno, I am so trying everything to get my little guy to be potty trained as well. He had extensive speech delays and is also on the Autism spectrum. I think for us, the bottom line is he simply is not interested in even trying...so rather than make it a miserable experience I don't push and hope it will come in time. I really need him to be potty trained by this summer as my little guy will be 4 in June.
Lots of luck, I don't like using candy as a reward but I know my guy is happy with just a couple m&m's. You can always do the timer method and just go go go every 20 minutes....my little one will not do this for me ( I have tried)
I will be watching your post for ideas for my kiddo too! Lots of luck!

I was told speech delayed kids and ESPECIALLY boys will take longer. Mine started to get it shortly after he turned 3 1/2. Be patient...it WILL happen!

Good luck

My son also has a speech delay and was not interested in using the potty, he is pretty mellow and didn't mind wearing diapers. I waitd until he was ready and he wasn't potty trained until about a month before he turned 4. I also tried the sticker chart and he liked doing it, but it wasn't really a motivation for him. He loves hot wheel cars so we rewardes with that, but it seemed he still needed something else plus he was going off in another room to go potty in his pants, so he knew when he had to do it and it was frustrating that he wouldnt just tell us. We ended up taking all of his cars away when he messed his pants and then giving them back when he went on the potty. So maybe your son just isn't quit ready if he doen't even flinch when he does it, it is for sure harder when they are a little behind, but I've noticed the fix is usually just time.

Candy worked for us . Sparx from the Health food store $1.50 for a hundred or so little candies 1) for telling us he needed to go before having an accident 1) for weeing or pooping 1) for washing and drying hands. He also loves Elmo so I bought a six pack of Elmo pants and told him how much Elmo hates being peed on. Timer is good. You can buy kids watches that alert them every x minutes. with a bit of time things will just click

As for speech delay. My cousin had terrible speech issues until he was a teenager. His parents were told he should go to a special school, below average IQ etc. He now has two degrees and earns over $2million a year. Believe in your son and always make him feel like he is capable of anything if he applies himself. Sorry not that helpful.

Will he let you put a diaper or pullup on over the underwear? My daughter needed to continue wearing pull ups at night once she was potty trained for quite a while and hated the feel of the pull up against her skin. Once she tried leaving her underwear on but putting the pull up over it she didn't mind so much.

Or, can he do his computer game or other sitting activities actually sitting on a little potty? The first time he "makes a splash" it might get him excited to do it all the time!

Have you talked to his pre-school teacher? My sister does special needs pre-school and is a big part of potty training her students. I have found her to be really knowledgeable about techniques and readiness.