Potty Training Help! - Boulder Creek,CA

My son is the same age and we're also potty training. We don't do pullups, never did. We went through the accident phase that you're describing and found that the best thing was to let him go without pants at all whenever we were at home. I also would bring the potty to wherever we were. If we were in the living room playing, the potty was there. If we were in the dining room, bedroom, wherever. That worked very well because I had noticed that if he was playing he didn't want to stop what he was doing but if the potty was right there as a reminder, we had no accidents. He sleeps with no pants on and no diaper and hasn't had any accidents in a couple of weeks. This past weekend we put a diaper on him because we were going to be out and about. He came home with a dry diaper and said he had to go poopoo and went on the potty. I hope some of these suggestions help. I would definitely ditch the pullups as I have heard from several moms that they are not useful.

We are just at the point where DS is 100% out of diapers, day & night, & he'll be 4 in July.

We started with him at 2.5 & I have regretted that ever since. The "push" was because I really wanted him in preschool & he needed to be potty trained. About 2 weeks prior to the start date he was able to manage going pee, but definitely not poo. He never once had an accident at school, but the year that followed with potty training was definitely a learning curve for all of us.

I realize boys typically train at a slower pace than girls, but regardless, my one suggestion is to STOP. Accept that for whatever reason under the sun that she isn't willing to learn, forget the pull-ups & just put on cheapie diapers, and start having FUN with her. Stop asking about the potty, stop talking about it, just stop.

Get some library books that are FUN about the potty in general, not just about potty training. There are all kinds out there, trust me. Leave the little potty or the potty seat - or whatever you were using - leave that out so she can see it, touch it, whatever.

Watch HER for cues, not what you want her to do. Trust me, you'll see it & you'll have a lot less frustration if you start paying attention to your daughter & her personality with all of this than insisting on certain things to happen as well as being constantly frustrated. She is no doubt sensing your irritability / frustration with her. It certainly doesn't mean that's the only reason she's not potty trained yet, but it probably isn't helping.

Speaking from one who has just been down that same road, reconsider your plan, try to take some deep breaths & decide now what you want this experience to be like. It is not the worst thing in the world for a 3-yr old to be in diapers. But if you make it fun & INCLUDE HER in the process (she gets to pick out fun underpants, wear them in the house - regardless of the mess - put her dolly on the potty seat, read the books, etc.) then she may warm up to the idea a lot quicker.

It literally was like a "switch" for my son - like all of a sudden he understood what he was feeling like, what he needed to do when that feeling came, what would happen if he didn't. There's no way I could have "trained" him to do that where he fully understood it. And trust me - I TRIED!!

And yes, I did the rewards, the potty chart, the bribery bit, everything. Once he started being successful a few times in a row, that's when I started rewarding & it eventually worked. Even now, he'll get a small bit of ice cream when he makes a BM. But it took a long time to get here, regardless of my pushing, my consistency, etc.

I know it doesn't help that you had a much easier time with your first child - but this isn't your first child. She's a different creature all together - enjoy her for who she is & try to relax.

I am having the same problem.. my daughter is almost 3. She knows what to do, but she is lazy to sit on the toilet. I made the mistake of buying more diapers for her to wear at night. I think I confused her. Good Luck.. if you have any more advice.. share with me too!

We're going through potty training for our 3 year old right now too. Whenever we ask her if she has to go, the answer is always NO. However if we let her run around bottomless, she'll stop whatever she's doing and go use the potty. If she's in a pull-up or underwear, she'll just go in her pants b/c it's easier.

We've also had a "potty playdate" with other toddlers outdoors with all kids going bottomless or in underwear and put potties outside and gave them snacks and lots of drinks. They had toys (bubbles, etc.) to play with, but could not not come inside to play with the inside toys until they went on the potty at least once. The peer pressure helps and they are able to learn from other kids.

You can also find free charts online of your child's favorite character as incentive. X times on the potty = special prize.

I don't believe in rushing children to potty train. It sounds like she isn't ready. I think sometimes we rush them because everyone around us has kids who are potty trained already. I say, who cares.
I had one child who at age 2 came to me and said she was done with pull ups and then never had one accident at night or in the day. My second daughter was about 3 and we had to use pull ups for a bit. My third daughter was potty trained at 2 but had accidents at night. And now my 15 month old has a potty chair that she will sit on, but not use.

Every kids is different. Don't stress yourself or your child. I would recommend putting her back in pull ups. If you really want to go forward with potty training, try the timer method. I used that with my second daughter. I would set the timer for 1/2 hour and when it went off, take her to the potty. The reset the timer. We did this throughout the day. We gradually moved the time to 45 minutes, 1 hour and so on. Eventually she was potty trained.

Successful training usually happens no earlier than about 2.5, and it's still within the norm for kids to be both physically AND emotionally ready until 3.5 – or even later. Starting training early doesn't generally result in lasting success, it just results in a longer training period, more accidents, more frustration for both parent and child, and a greater likelihood of control issues or the child becoming discouraged and feeling like a failure.

Even if you can coax your daughter to train before she's completely ready, that is a big commitment you are asking of her. She may become discouraged or reactive, and that does not result in happier or faster training.

Children WANT to train when they are ready, just as they WANT to walk and talk when they are ready. Rewards are generally are not needed when the child is actually ready.

Even allowing a child to go back to diapers for awhile will not confuse the issue if you tell her you trust her to know when she's ready, and you'll be happy to help her get there, and celebrate with her when she succeeds. She needs to know you are on her side, and when she does, she won't have any mental barriers keeping her from going for it.

Check out www.3daypottytraining.com. I used this with my son at age 2 years 9 months and it was awesome! I followed her suggestions to the tee and I had success with it. Because you've already started training your daughter using a different method, you may need to wait 30 days - you'll see, she talks about it. Good luck!

Hello,
I have Boy/Girl Twins and at 2 years and 5 months we started Potty Training. it took my son two weeks and he got it. My daughter would go in the potty and then would have accidents over and over. I thought forsure she would be starting school and not potty trained. She knew she did not want to go becuase she would tell me to change her diaper and not potty chair. So after a month of accident we stopped training her and pretended nothing happened. we waited about two to three weeks and re-started the process of potty training and all of a sudden she got it. She had a couple of accidents for a week and now no more accidents.
My daycare/preschool teacher has trained so many kids and she told me in her experience when she stops training and restarts in two weeks the kids always seem to pick it up. Not sure why. Good Luck

She is not ready to potty train. My oldest started training at 3.5 and is still in pull-ups at night. We worked on training him. My youngest decided before his 3rd birthday that he wanted to poop in the potty and has been doing that for about a month. He's does ok with peeing in the potty, but gets distracted. Every child is different and just because you are ready to potty train, doesn't mean they are. I wish my youngest had a waited a while longer because I wasn't ready for him to start (it's just harder to have to go to the bathroom all the time, when a lot of times it may be a false alarm!)

maybe she isn't ready. we started at 2 and my daughter wasn't ready. we started w/ m&m's as well which helped w/ pee pee but not poop. a friend suggested getting little toys for poop, so at the leggo store we bought a set of people (her poop people that we set up on a high shelf) and every time she went poop in the potty she got to pick out a people. by the time we were done (16 people) she now goes all the time in the potty. the only other advise is not to go back to diapers or pull ups. i use to use pull ups for out of the house, but she got use to going in the pull up. once i stuck to panties only, she knew to hold her pee/poop and say she needed to go. we go to the bathroom everywhere though! grocery story, target etc. she is excited to go on a big girl bathroom. i decided to not go back to diaper/pull ups and that is what helped us. good luck!

Hello!
I read your post and cannot help thinking that Reiki would help. Reiki is energy, and there is a simple way to learn to give this energy to others and even to ourselves. If you take Reiki training, you will be able to give treatments to your child and also to yourself. Believe me, you will be glad.

My Reiki teacher, who lives in Jerusalem, Israel, will be coming to teach in the SF Bay Area during the first two weeks in June. Please get back to me so that I can send you more information about the classes, and even get you in touch with her so that you can ask her questions directly. Hurry, because she will be leaving Jerusalem on May 27th, and after that it will be hard for her to answer you.

sincerely,

S.