Need Advise on Leaving 2 Year Old for 1St Time...

Updated on February 18, 2012
J.O. asks from Milford, OH
16 answers

My sister inlaw wants me to go to Vegas for a girls weekend...Thurs - Sun in April! I would be totally excited however I keep pulling back becuase of my little man (2 yrs old). I have never left him and I don't know if I am ready too! The crazy thing is I would be leaving him with my husband (his daddy) and my parents would help in coordinating pick ups and drop offs, so it's not like a babysitter or at a strange place to him. Would you go/should I go? Is it typical to feel this way? A lot of people i talk to say they didn't have trouble leaving their kids the first time so am I weird?

Advise please :)

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Featured Answers

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

Leave, Run, Go - I would have been in the crazy house had I waited until my son was 2 before I left him with someone else - I am sorry but I personally do not understand this action or lack there of.

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

I think it's time to cut the cord. 2 years old is plenty old for you to take a girls weekend away. Go and enjoy!!!!! You will have a ball :) Plus, if you continue to hover, it could backlash on you.

2 moms found this helpful

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

Ok, little man will be with daddy and close relatives??? Of course you should go. You need time for YOU and it will give little man some great bonding time with his daddy and relatives.

Letting go is hard, we have to do it in baby steps but if you don't take those baby steps along the way, it will be devastating to you as he goes to school, grows up, drives, goes to college, etc.

I am sure you are a great mom. Go take care of yourself for a girls weekend and enjoy yourself, your time away to recharge and then you'll be a refreshed better wife and mom.

Bless your hubby for supporting you!!

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

My son spend a few night away from me before the age but my husband and I got married when he was 2 1/2. So we went on a honey moon and he stayed at my parents. It was his home still so it was nothing different for him except mommy was not there. He did not even really notice I was gone most of the time. Go and have fun let your husband and parents take care of him he will be just fine!!!

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N.G.

answers from Dallas on

You should go!! He will be fine!! I never had that kind of trouble because I didn't have a choice- I HAD to leave my kids so I could work. I've never left them to go on vacation but not because I wouldn't, I just haven't had the opportunity. haha! You're going to have SO much fun in vegas, and your son will be fine. Don't miss the opportunity.

1 mom found this helpful

☼.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Totally normal, totally typical. We didn't leave our daughter for the first time until she was 2, as well, and she went to her grandparents for the weekend and all went very well. Your husband will be fine, your son will be fine hanging out and bonding with daddy. So you go and have fun!! I'm jealous; we used to hit Vegas 3 or 4 times a year pre-baby; haven't been there in probably 8 or 9 years now. Enjoy and put that guilt aside (even though I KNOW it's hard)!

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L.S.

answers from Fort Collins on

I left my first when he was 3yo. I visited a friend with a new baby 7hrs away and stayed for 2 nights. My boy was at home with Daddy the whole time. I was nervous. DS did wonderfully with Daddy. I had a (suprisingly) wonderful and relaxing time! I did miss my lil man pretty bad by the 2nd night/3rd day, but talked with my husband and him everyday. They told me what they were doing at home, etc. By the end of the trip I swore to myself that I wouldn't wait so long the second time! Well....little brother will be two this summer and I haven't gone anywhere yet.... Guess it's time to plan a trip!

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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I totally get what you're talking about. My son is 2.5 and I have yet to leave him for a trip. To be honest I don't know if I would go just because I'm not ready yet (lol) but OBJECTIVELY I think you should go! It'll be lots of fun and your son will be safe with daddy and grandparents. Worst case scenario, you can always come back early but I'm sure you'll have so much fun that the time will go by faster than you think :)

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J.V.

answers from Chicago on

It all depends on teh person. My daughter had her first sleep over at her grammies when she was 21 months. SHe didn't have another for a long while, but by 3, asked to go monthly.

I left my second child with my mom for the first time when he was 18 months. It was only for 1 night, and I wish I had gone for 2.

In May, when my son will be almost 2.5, we are going away to a wedding for 4 nights. Last night, when I couldn't sleep in bed, I kept thinking, maybe 4 days is too much? He really isn't too found of going to grammie's for 1 night, so I'm petrified about leaving him for 4. I would leave for 4 nights easily if he was with his daddy. I was planning on suggesting to hubby tonight that we only go for 3 nights, so if it is too much on the little guy, we are at least home. I know I could go for 2 nights without too much of a problem...

I think each kid is different, and you, as the mother, know what is best.

But honestly, I always find it hard to leave my kids. The silence makes me think it's the end of the world!

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K.I.

answers from Muncie on

not weird. I did the same thing. First Go. Things to take along. cell phone so they can call you. We did this at bed time every night. With taht I had several book memorized, or you could right down the words marking where to turn the pages, so you can go through your normal routene. we also sang and he had permission to call me at any time. They did great, bed time was the hardest because he missed snuggle time, but daddy usually held him while I sang and he would fall asleep. I now an dreading doing the same with my second who will be almost two when I have to leave. but I know she can do it and so can I. It is hard but worth it.

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J.R.

answers from South Bend on

I do not think you are weird in the slightest. No two mothers are the same. Go have a great girls weekend in Vegas!! Just make sure that you are ready. You will not have fun if you are "still at home with your son" in your mind and fretting the whole time.

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A.C.

answers from Bloomington on

Every mother feels differently when confronted with leaving without her child for a while, and it can be different with different children, as well. I had a tough time going anywhere without my first son until he was about 2, only because he exclusively breastfed and wouldn't take a bottle. The first time my husband and I went to a conference in Las Vegas without him, it was tough leaving him with my in-laws. However, I didn't regret going. We had a great time, and I realized I needed that time away to relax and have fun.
Last year, my second son was about 11 months when my husband and I went to a fun convention together. We left both boys with my in-laws, and I was very ready to go this time. My second son was breast feeding at the time, but he was always pretty laid back and took a bottle easily. I just had to pump enough to have a good supply for my in-laws to use. I missed the boys sometimes, but again, it was nice to be able to spend some time (and our 10th anniversary) with just my husband and our friends. Whatever you decide will be the best thing for you. Good luck!

L._.

answers from San Diego on

I hated it, almost never did it, and always regretted it. You are not weird to me.

I didn't even like the idea of my grandson being away a night at a time at first. He's 2.5 and moving out with his mom. I love her to pieces. She's 21.5 years old and I'm more than ready to cut those apron strings. But I'd take and keep my grandson in a heartbeat if she'd give him to me LOL!

It's not a bad thing. You would probably have a wonderful time and it's good to not hold on too tight. So my kids tell me.

But then again... Our children have to find something to blame us for so that everything that isn't perfect in their lives can be our fault! LOL

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Absolutely I would go. The first time I went away for a long weekend (my dad's 70th birthday) DS was 2. He did great - I talked to him on the phone once a day, he stayed up and watched the Stanley cup playoffs on tv (his first tv ever) and they had a great time. So did I. You husband will love having some alone time with DS. Have fun.

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M.K.

answers from Columbus on

YES, you should go!!! Yes, it's typical to feel this way!! No, you're not weird - if you didn't feel this way then I would be worried!!!

Have you gone out shopping or to dinner or something without him where he knows you go and always come back?? If you haven't done that, then I would definitely start so he gets used to you leaving.

Then when it's time to go for the weekend, give a relatively quick good-bye and go!!! If you draw out the good-byes then he might get scared and start to worry. Yes, even two-year olds can worry!!! Make sure your husband or parents are there and ready to get him busy and occupied with something immediately after you leave.

I went thru all these exact same feelings with my son so I know how you feel. (I had a family emergency in Florida and had to be gone a few days!) Don't know if it's because I'm an older mother, or what, but I was terrified of leaving him the first few times. But, like you, it was my husband and parents so I KNEW he was in good hands. Just be prepared for the heartbreak when you get home: chances are he didn't even miss you as much as you think!!! Sad, but true!! Also, if you call while you're gone, don't get all sappy or cry on the phone if/when you talk to him.

Good luck and have a great time!!!!

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J.D.

answers from Cincinnati on

You should totally go. He needs to get used to you being away. I never had a problem leaving my son. Everyone needs a break including you and besides You're talking Vegas here. Its Vegas. Have a fun girls weekend. Do you realize how many great opportunities you'd miss out on because you worried about leaving him. Hes going to be with your husband and in-laws. This will not in any way scar him for life, trust me.

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