My Son Is Going to School for the First Time

My son is going into 2nd grade and he did go to preschool but still was anxious but excited about school. I had him pick out his lunch box and back pack and a folder for school when he started kindergarten...but the main thing we did was take a walk - since we are close or a ride to see the school the week before it opened and go see his classroom so he was prepared and ready to see where he would be going. We will be going at the end of this week. There is a fun book "Kindergarten Rocks" and that was fun to read before he started...good luck.

How old is he? Will he know any other kids who go there? Does he have any cousins who go to school? Tell him Elmo goes to school. Get him books about first day at school--there are so many of these for kids with favorite charachters.

Also tell him you will stay with him at school. And do it. Stay the first week in class or just outside class w/out interacting w him. Just so he knows you're near. Let teachers give him toys...etc and he may sit on your lap a bit then want to do things other kids are doing. Bring a magazine + pretend you are busy so he has to do stuff w/out you.

After a week or so, he'll feel more confident. You can always tell him you have to go to the bathroom and wait outside class for half hour...etc.

He may cry at the separation as all kids do, but I suggest you tell his teachers ahead of time that he needs extra attention, they will make sure he doesn't feel lonely.

This is a new chapter in his life. Don't let him see you being sad or worried then he will feel it too. Be happy. Talk about the books and toys and friends he'll meet. And also make playdates w a kid the teachers tell you is friendly. Invite the kid and his mom to your house where your kid feels safe or to a park and hang for an hour. Let your sn get to know kids in class.

It'l be fine!!!

I just got "The Kissing Hand" by Audrey Penn from the library to read to my daughter, who is starting preschool soon. She has some anxiety too. Good book.
Maybe take a picture of yourself, your husband, your Mom that he can take to school with him, maybe on his lunch bag or something.
I have to admit I am anxious too - I have no idea what to expect the first day/days with her - she may be okay, or she may fall apart. No way to predict with her. Anyway, I am careful not to let these feelings show. I try to be as enthusiastic and positive as possible. Good luck!

If the school is open during the last weeks of summer, take him with you to tour the building. You may need to contact the director to get a full tour, but if you just drop by (so he doesn't get anxious) they should let you at least see the classroom. With both of my older children I 'dropped' by before the first day of pre-k and kindrgarten and they got to see their classroom and say a quick hello to the teacher.

Goodluck, the first day is alays harder on the moms than the kids.

Hi. My son also went to preschool without having any day care before. I talked about it a lot before hand to prepare him and I have him a specific time that I would come and get him everyday. Mommy will get after lunch always! That helped

1. Visit the school's playground as much as possible and peek in the windows.

2. Make time during the week to go inside the school. I dropped off updated immunization records and got a little tour down what my daughter called "My hallway."

3. Engage in "school" crafts. Lots of ideas online.

4. Pack that bookbag! I don't have a supply list nor do I know who her teacher will be but we bought a bunch of supplies she may or may not need and I let her pack them up.

5. Read "my first time in school" books.

MOST IMPORTANTLY, TALK TO HIM AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY ABOUT SOMETHING SCHOOL RELATED BUT BE CASUAL AND BRIEF. WHAT MIGHT HIS TEACHER BE LIKE? HOW MANY KIDS IN THE CLASS? HOW IT'S GOING TO BE EVERYONE'S FIRST TIME THERE. WHAT HE MIGHT DO THERE; PAINT, PLAY IN THE PLAYGROUND, MAKE LOTS OF CRAFTS, ETC.

BTW, it's my daughter's 1st time too and she's VERY excited. I hope when the day comes she'll be okay with me leaving. I anticipate being enough of a mess for the both of us :-(

Good luck! Hope this proves to be helpful.

Oh, one last tip, my sis-law suggested not using words like I'm going to leave you there and pick you up later. She said it would be better to say something like, "You know how mommy goes to work everyday - this is going to be the same thing, etc."

By now the school building is open because the staff is getting ready. I would call there and explain your situation. See if they will let you and your son into the building to taked a look. The may even show him his class. I did this with my son three times before the first day of school. It made me feel better too that he had a good idea of where he was going.

Hi J.,
Contact your sons school and ask someone if you may have a visit, and take a tour with your son.
Show him around; the offices, nurses office, classrooms, wehre to catch his bus, where he will eat lunch/breakfast (if your school serves it). Have a teacher, if you can, show him around in the form of his schedule.
Remind him he will be meeting alot of new children and adults.
And that he will be coming home to you after his school day.
Dont forget to take his picture on the first day!!

Hi J.. Congratulations on making this milestone with your child--a very important one for your family. Some suggestions are maybe taking your child to the school area where he will be going, showing him the little details about the area, or reading with him about the first day of school, and I found that writing little special notes in the beginning of the school year helps ease any frustrations, letting your child know that you love him and will see him after school. If you remain calm and positive, so will he.

Hi J.,

I strongly agree that if possible it would be helpful to take your son to the school in advance for a quick tour, and if possible to briefly meet the teacher. Even a quick peak can really help your child feel a little more at ease on the first day. If you can't go inside, even an outside visit could help. Try not to let him know you are nervous, and don't make it too much of a big fuss either way. Showing your child that everything is just fine carries a lot of weight with young kids.

It's an exciting time! I hope it goes smoothly! He should be just fine knowing you're on his side!

All the best,
C.

My 4th son is starting the big K this year too...and even though he went to preschool at the primary school and he's familiar with the school(because his brothers go there) he 's still nervous too!! The best thing you can do is talk about it...tell him that all the kids in his class are feeling the same way! If your school has K oreintation make sure you go, if they don't call and most schools will give you both a tour(so you both can feel better). When my oldest went to K we talked about it, about the bus and so forth(he had also never had a sitter...he did do prek)we got to the bus stop that morning and he said "so Mom where should WE sit on the bus??"(we had been over this already)I thought he was going to pass out when I said"Honey just you get on the bus, but don't worry I'll be right here waiting when they drop you off after school" but then he replied"you're going to stand here all day?" He got on and he made it through...and after a week it was like he'd been going to school forever :) K is a big change and a lot on everyone...don't be surprized if he falls asleep when he gets home or in his dinner for the first month or so. also find out what the lunch policy is...parents/grandparents can are encouraged to come in and eat lunch with their kids at our school(although I don't recommend doing it the first couple of weeks). goodluck to you both!!!

Hi J.,
You didn't mention his age, whether he is 3 and starting preschool, or 5 and going off to kindergarten - those two years make for a huge difference in maturity and how to approach the start of school.
I would go by his school so that he can see it, check out the playground, if you are allowed to have a tour, that would do wonders for his anxiety level. Also, find age appropriate books in the library to read about starting school - Franklin, Clifford, Berenstain Bears or whatever the "new" characters are nowadays (my kids are 10 and 14).
Find out what the expectations are. If it's 3 year old preschool, all the kids will be immature even if they've been at daycare. If he is starting kindy with no preschool experience, the thing that can be an issue is routine. Starting kindy, they are expected to be able to follow a routine such as come in, take out your folder and hang up your backpack, put your snack away and come to the rug for the pledge. They are expected to be able to stay seated during their time at the rug for stories, morning meeting,etc (if he's starting preschool, this is something that they learn to do during their year or two there). If it's kindergarten, find out what the expectations are for kids starting. Preschools have this list and work with the kids on kindergarten readiness. I work in an elementary school, and I'll tell you that our list has very little academic things on it, it's mostly things like being able to follow 2 or 3 step directions, being able to sit for 10 minutes without wandering or being disruptive, able to zip their own jacket, etc.
If he's really anxious, I would talk less about school rather than more. Take him to buy a backpack and lunchbox that he can choose, and let him know what the plan is for after school - letting him know that a celebratory first day ice cream will be happening can help him get through that first day. Also, when you do talk to him, share happy and funny stories about your own school experience.
Good luck, I hope he has a wonderful first day.