My Infant's Stress Level with Family Gatherings

For mine it was only sensitive hearing, advice given by a mom at that time worked beautifully! Ear Plugs. The same kind they use for children that have tubes in their ears, for swimming.
Give it a try next time and see if it works. They don't remove all of the sound just enough to prevent the overload. Sorry if someone said this already I didn't have time to read all the responses :)
Good Luck!
K.

Hi Rabecca. I encountered the same situation with my son who is now 6 months old. When we went to a family gathering we would put him in a separate room. For example, I would lay him on a balanket in a room that wasn't as crowded then people could come in and see him but he wasn't in the middle of the party. This helped us a lot. Hope it helps you.

Hi, we had exactly the same experience... we are quiet, calm people... (in-laws and parents tell us all the time we need to make more noise... quiet is just the way we are...) anyway, my little guy was happier than ever whenever we were at home... or at my in-law's house... and then whenever we went to my Mom's house and everyone was there (sisters, cousins, other little ones)... BOOM... he would cry and just want to be in a quiet room and held by me... This was when he was 4 months old... he is 16 months old now, and it isn't an issue at all anymore... he LOVES to be around everyone and all the activity... (it' still takes him a little while to warm up, so I end up holding him for the 1st 1/2 hour... but after that... look out!! :-) so my advice is to just roll with it, and your little one will eventually want the activity... but he's just still adjusting to this big world... and he'll get there... no rush... I have to say actually... even though I thought that I was calm, it could have had to do with my stress level at those visits too... I thought I was calm as a bean, and then I guessed that he was picking up on something.. or it was just all the commotion... anyway, I am sure it will get better in time... as long as he knows you are there. Good luck :-)!

Hi R. .. well there may be a few things contributing to your son's meltdown. First is your response to the crowd; little ones, especially that young, tend to pick up stress mostly from mom .. so be aware of how you are handling the chaos. Second is his schedule; does the trip to your family's home interrupt or disrupt his schedule .. is he eating as much and as often as normal? Is his sleep disrupted/ cut short/ non-existant??
One thing you can do is creat a haven for yourself and your son. Pick a spot that is 'quiet' and where you feel comfortable. Let the family come to you rather than trying to go to them. Monitor you feelings closely .. keep in mind that he will pick up your moods .. so if you start feeling stressed so will he. When you become aware of those feeling start doing something positive.

I'll give you an example. I am not good with heights and there have been times I've had to drive over bridges with my 2 dd's in the vehicle. Most bridges don't bother me too much .. but there are a few that just freak me out. When I know I'm going to have to drive over them I start to get tense. Well I didn't want my kids picking up on that, so I would say "Wow, look at the boats" (or whatever was out there) and then I would pop in a favorite cd of theirs and turn the volume up a little .. and try to breathe normally the whole time I was going over the bridge. Distraction is a wonderful tool ... :) Good luck with the family visits!

I've read that babies can get over-stimulated pretty easily, so your son is probably trying to tell you he needs some quiet time. When you're with your family, can you take him to a quiet room for a little while at the first sign of his fussiness? Or can you make your family visits shorter? Maybe visiting just a few people in your family would make him respond better?

We had a similar situation, but not until my son was older. He's now 3 and whenever we get together with my husband's family they don't give him a moment's rest. They're constantly calling his name and his school-age cousins are on top of him the whole time we're there. Almost every time we get together with them my son tries to find some space to himself. One time he buried himself under pillows from the couch. Another time he hid from my husband's cousins by laying underneath the kitchen table. When I see that happening, I try to give him some quiet time by taking him to the bathroom or upstairs to get into his pajamas if the family's at our house. (And I always hope that putting him in his pajamas is a signal to his family that it's time to go, but it doesn't always work!)

I was in your shoes also b/c we lived 4 hrs. away from family! What worked pretty well for us was to take our daughter to a quiet(er) place somewhere in the house every once in a while so she could calm down and see only Mommy and Daddy. The family understood b/c it was obvious she was overloaded! Once she was more calm and comfortable we would slowly reintroduce her to the family again. Over time (months) she became more and more at ease. I hope this helps! Good luck!

Hi. I'm a mother of 3 children and 2 dogs. My other "child" is a state trooper, so I know a little bit about what your life must be like living with a police officer. I hope you don't think I sound uppity, but it sounds to me like you're too quiet at home. My house was never quiet, even before kids. When my first was born, the day we brought him home the dogs started barking and he barely flinched. I never tried to keep the house too quiet because I had heard that then babies will learn to sleep through the noise. It worked for me, because since my son was a baby (he's 7, sister is 5, brother is 2) I've been able to vacuum in their rooms at night while they sleep! This long explanation is leading up to your concern: how do you get your infant to deal with your loud family? I'd suggest slowly introducing a little more noise and activity into your baby's life. Maybe this will help. I find it very satisfying knowing that I can concentrate on my kids in the daytime and just clean up after them late into the night (I work 3 days a week and usually get about 4 hrs of sleep, but my at least my family's happy!)

I suggest infant massage - it really seems to calm the little ones down in stressful situations. Eventually, he'll enjoy the chaos. In the meantime...just explain to your family that he's overwhelmed. I'm sure they will understand - with so many cousins and grandkids around!

Good luck -
J.

Boy, we had that big time with my oldest. I couldn't go to the mall, church, etc.

Only thing that helped, and that was only a little, was chamomile homeopathic tabs. I think I used aconite sometimes too. The homeopath gave him something else too, and I'm sorry, can't remember...but it was one dose and huge difference. It was a constitutional remedy, so wouldn't suggest that anyway, it is very specific.

Some kids are just "porous" and take in all that energy and it overwhelms them. I had to carefully teach my son how to not take it in as much...but that was when he was a lot older.

Good luck!!!

my son was the same way, even though he has a big sister and we were closer to a large amount of family. I just had to learn when he was getting close to overload and excuse myself and put him in a quiet room to calm down. If there is a back bedroom that you could take him to and let him play quietly for awhile or take a nap it should help a lot. Just explain to your family that he's becoming overstimulated and he need some quiet time. My son is 13 months old now and he did grow out of it for the most part, we jusst have to watch his mood and know when he's had enough. Good luck!

oh god bless you! i Know exactly were you are coming from!
my son is 2 1/2 and still gets over indulged and eventually has a uncontralable crying fit due to certain family members!
the best thing for you and your son, is for you to try to stay as calm as you can! I've learned when i get stressed my son feeds off of that. If he is getting overwhelmed, calmly take him from the situation and say we need to take a quite break, and go find a CALM area of the house. and spend some relaxing time just you nd him breathing and talking softly etc...
i still do that with my son and it is the only thing i can rely on to get him calmed down!
good luck!

hi! My first one was like that and to this day (she's 5) some loud noises really bother her to the point of covering her ears. He might have very sensible to certain sounds. Having that said, and knowing about loud families... whenever I went to family gatherings with my baby, I looked for a quiet room to be in. Yes, I wasn't in the middle of the fun maybe, and I was even told I was being ridiculous... but then how much fun is it to have a fuzzy baby anyways right? So, a quiet corner or an enclosed room was it for us and whoever wanted to see us, or the baby, had to come in quietly because it was assumed that she was sleeping :P (even if she wasn't! :)

good luck!

R.,
My son was the exact same way during cookouts this past spring and summer when he was 3-6 months old. My family lives in NY and my husbands family is local and they are lively, especially my Father in Law. After seeing Cody react the way he did i just kindly asked if they could approach the baby quietly and maybe we could talk quieter. Not saying that most listened to me...lol but it was worth a try. My son to this day still gets antsy around my father in law because his voice is gruff and a tad louder than most. He will get used to it!
Christina

Hi R., This is actually a very common thing.
I'am a mother of 6 girls, so I know how large family gatherings can be.Hope my advice will help.
First you need to start making noise at home to get him use to loud noises,(music, t.v.,vacuum,loud toys).Then when you go to a gathering take his swing,seat or something that he is familure with and keep him in there as much as possible, don't let everybody hold him all the time.Believe it or not, being passed from 1 person to another,with all the silly faces and noises everyone makes to get a baby to laugh can be tramitizing for a baby. well I hope I made sense,and I hop this helps
Carool

I, too, have a big family (on my husbands side) and it was hard for the baby to be around all of them at once. She would freak out with all of the loud people around her. I would take her into another room, where she could still hear them, but they weren't as loud. She liked just being with me, but still knowing that other people are around. Each time we would visit I eased her into the situation. I would take her out of the room or just hold her so she could still see mommy. She is 8 months old now and she does much better around lots of people. Now she even lets other people hold her and I can leave the room to do whatever I want to do.
She always did fine with just a small group, but those loud family gatherings were hard at first. I also had to explain to people that she needed some time away from the crowd so she could warm up.

It's not uncommon for children to have a hard time with chaos.

Being a mom dealing with these specific issues...I will toss out what is a possibility and tell you just to use your instinct with this one.

Could be auditory processing problems. Where the child can hear but gets overwhelmed at the great amount of auditory stimuli that he gets all at once. How does he react when you go to an amusement park or to a busy grocery store? Any OTHER croweded place? Does he hate the sound of the vaccum cleaner or other sudden, loud noises? Like he comes unglued? If so, keep an eye out as he ages and learn about auditory processing issues.

Another possibility is Sensory Processing Disorder. These kids GET the sensory input but neurologically they are unable to process all of it properly. Your son is still young so seeing other symptoms may be hard..but watch as he grows for a strong dislike of certain textured foods or clothing, tags, maybe doesn't like how certain socks feel. Does he hate touching sand or rice or shaving foam or playdough..again, he's too young now but keep an eye out for these things as he ages.

I'm not trying to frighten you...but they are possibilities and if you google sensory processing disorder which is also known as sensory integration dysfunction, you can check the other symptoms to watch for. If you see any that really ring true to you, contact your area Early Intervention program to get an evaluation.

Tips, hints to get through the party?

ALWAYS keep your things together so that you can make a fast exit when he starts to get upset. Keep visits shorter...so go at the least chaotic time of the gathering and leave before the main insanity. That might mean coming FIRST and leaving before mealtime...because mealtime is always the most hectic. Lots of movement, conversation, noise noise noise.

Since he's young, you have the best excuse for heading out! He doesn't do well with long visits, it's time for naps, whatever....but you will be doing yourself AND that baby a great service by recognizing his limitations and working with them. Better to keep a visit short and sweet than to end with a stressed mom, very unhappy baby and family who wonders "why does that child cry ALL the time?".

You can also take nice little "walks" outside with him if the weather is nice. The rolling sensation can help calm him. Or if there is a way you can swing him slowly in your arms, swinging always helps my kids. Sometimes just holding him close, wrapped up firmly in your arms might help him to decompress.

Best of luck. ____@____.com if you need me!