My Baby Thinks I Am a Pacifier at Night, Suggestions?

All I can say is, this too shall pass! My son used me as a pacifier too. At times it took a lot of patience to keep it up, but I was not willing to let him cry it out and I loved that special cuddle time. It really is over before you know it! My son is now 2 1/2 and has been sleeping through the night for almost a year now, and I just weaned him about a month ago. So it's not necessarily a "bad habit" that you have to break to get them to sleep well. It will happen when they are developmentally ready. I think you are doing a great job!

My second child was doing the same thing. We were co-sleeping until she was 8 months. I was desperate to get some sleep. Finally, I had enough and put her in her crib in her own room and her sleep and mine drastically improved. She started waking only once a night after 2 nights. If I sleep in her room now she still wakes up many times during the night and she is 15 months. I think she is a light sleeper and any noise wakes her. If she sleeps alone she sleeps through the night half the time and wakes once half the time. Good luck!

I'm having the same problem w/ my almost 3 month old. Sorry I don't have any suggestions really except your not alone.
I can tell you though I've been lucky to get at least 2-3hrs the first time I put him down, but after the first wake up its every hour just like you. Unfotunately for me, he's actually eating, but too tired to finish so he nods off. And its so annoying b/c he then doesn't eat during the day and sleeps 5-6hr spans during the day ugg... I did refuse feedings one night & finally got him to take the binkie w/ 20 minutes of hysteria...but it worked he didn't wake up again until a couple hours later....I tried the next night w/ no success so I've given up and hoping it gets better soon.

With my first it was at this point I ended up putting him in his own crib on the other side of the room, we both slept way better that way. If you still want to continue to co-sleep and you know he is really not hungry I would see if DAd can take over a few nights of wake ups.. This worked well for me when we weaned my 1st from night feedings. My hubby had a week off of for Xmas & he took over, and offered a bottle of warm water instead of me...It took a week but he finally got the picture. I don't know how well it'd work if you continue to cosleep though...Guess its worth a shot???

Unfortunately this is a problem with co -sleeping. Try a bassinet next to the bed. You can reach over and touch your baby, but he's not feeling your body which triggers his desire to nurse more. Nurse him to sleep, put him in there and lay down and rest YOURSELF. You will hear any noise he makes and can reach over and rock him slightly or stick a pacifier in his mouth (or bottle). Only nurse him when he really needs it, you are not a pacifier. You're going to have to wean him from co sleeping or he could be there for YEARS, not kidding. At 1yr old that pacifier needs to go. Maybe give him a little bottle of milk when he wakes early and thatll fill his tummy up again and he'll sleep more without you having to be the pacifier/bottle all the time. It can be breast milk (or not) I'm not trying to me harsh here, but he will be more secure about sleeping if he's allowed to learn how to sleep alone. He's old enough now. (And you need the rest) Good luck L

Hi J.! Just wanted to offer you some support from another mom in the EXACT same situation! We co-sleep with our 9 month old daughter and she uses me as a pacifier all night long. Every time she comes out of a sleep cycle, she has to nurse in order to fall back to sleep. I belong to the La Leche League and this apparently is perfectly normal for breastfeeding, cosleeping babies. Almost all the moms I have met at La Leche League have gone through this and yes, it will pass. You have to do what works for your family but I have just decided to take naps with my baby during the day whenever possible and this helps make up for not sleeping well at night. Even though I miss my uninterrupted nighttime sleep, I know that I will only get to bond with my daughter once. A few months of bad sleep is worth it (in my opinion) and my baby gets the comfort she craves. Good luck to you and if you are interested in some gentle ways to remedy your situation try either Dr. Sears' The Sleep Book or The No Cry Sleep Solution (I forget the author). Both books are very informative with lots of great ideas.

I can't speak to the co-sleeping side of things, but I can definitely speak to my experience with having 2 children who had constant night-wakings. My first son never slept well until I weaned him at 15 mths. Within 2 weeks he was sleeping through the night (finally!!). My 2nd son (now 7.5 mths) is showing no signs of stopping the night wakings on his own, but I have no desire to wean him from breastfeeding altogether just yet.

However, I do believe everyone has a threshold when it comes to sleep & sanity. Some families do perfectly fine when it comes to their babies being up all night, regardless of the reasons. But I've come to believe it's not healthy for mom OR baby to continue on with a habit that does neither of you any good - that being a "human paci" as you've described.

I am an advocate for SOME crying with babies. Some mothers aren't - perfectly fine. But for any kind of habit-breaking, there will be a little "pain" experienced by both sides & that was the only way I've been able to break habits with my boys until they could communicate a little better.

We're currently still sleep-training the 2nd boy & really the first 2 nights were the longest / most difficult. Since then it has gradually been easier & easier on everyone. But he sleeps in a crib in the same room as his brother, not our bed. I honestly don't know that it's possible to keep a child next to you - who can smell you, sense you, etc. - and expect them to somehow NOT want to nurse, no matter what you tried. But maybe there's something out there in co-sleeping books that you could read up on?

We use the "fade" method with our son; my first goal was to cut down to 1 feeding in the overnight hours rather than the 3-5 we were doing each night. I wanted to feed him between 11 & Midnight & then again around 5am. If he woke earlier than that, then I would not pick him up & would go in every 5 to 7 minutes to reposition, rub his cheek & remind him it was "night night". If he woke after the Midnight feeding, same thing.

Last night he slept 7:00 to 2:30 - I decided to let him cry, with me visiting him of course. After about 30 minutes he got the hint & I didn't hear from him until closer to the 5:00 hour. I fed him, then he slept until 7:30. Woo hoo!! Progress. :)

All habits take time to break, so do some research for your particular situation, create a plan & both you & hubbs stick to it for a good 2 weeks. I guarantee you will see results much sooner than you think & both your sanity, health & baby's health will be all the better for it!

Good luck!!

My 19-monther used to do the same thing, and at about the same age too. We asked our midwives, and they said that if he was eating real food(ie. baby food), then to make sure we feed him lots right before his nap. He'll get used to eating that instead of eating you. Go ahead and give him boob for a while still for the nap and at night. The one during the day should slow down, and finally stop. And for bedtime, do the same. Feed him a bunch of food, so he's really full. And a month or so after that, we also started leaving a leak-proof sippy cup in bed with him, with water in it. When he woke up at night, we'd lay him down again if he was standing, and give him the cup. It was hard, and yes, sometimes, I had to stand there and coo at him for several minutes, but eventually it worked. Just keep in mind: It might be hard now, but it won't last forever. Eventually, he'll sleep fine. I mean, how often do you see a five year old suckling at the breast?

Hi J.,
It sounds to me like your baby only has one way to soothe himself, and that is by using you as his pacifier. This is a learned behavior, and you can teach him other ways to soothe himself. I agree with Collette's suggestion that you should probably start teaching him to sleep in his own room. This may be easiest at naptime. Additionally, I think you need to stop nursing him to sleep (again, probably easiest to start this with naptime and work your way up to bedtime). I found it easiest for my girls to get a great sleep when I structured their day in a 4 hour eat-play-sleep cycle (rather than eat-sleep-play). When babies nurse to sleep, often times they fall asleep before they get a big, full meal, and this causes them to wake up sooner, and the cycle repeats itself. This constant "snacking" never fills them up, and the result is terrible sleep for everybody. A friend of mine recommended the book "On Becoming Babywise" to me when I was struggling with the same sorts of eating/sleeping issues with my older daughter that you are having. I couldn't believe the difference once I altered our schedule slightly - she became happier (amazing what some good sleep can do for a baby!), I became happier (amazing what not being a human pacifier can do for a mommy!), and our house became much calmer because everyone knew what to expect at any given moment. Aaahhhh!

Anyhow, I wish you the best of luck!

My 19 month old has recently backed off the pacifier (boob) and just has to touch me to stay asleep. She co-sleeps, and I understand the frustration of being tethered from baby's bedtime until morning.
What helps:
Try abruptly removing your breast (Only works once the heavy sucking is over) and if necessary shush baby back to sleep. Don't try to get up until baby's in deep sleep.

Hi J. - Just wanted to say that I did the same with both of boys (3 1/2 and 1 1/2) and the only solution I found is to pass the night soothing off onto my husband (and abandon the co-sleeping until they are weaned). I still breastfeed my small one, and if we sleep together, there is no avoiding being the pacifier. I cannot sleep at all! You have to go through the cry-it-out routine, which is really tough with the first and easier with the second, but I could not come up with any other way. If I am anywhere nearby, the baby will go bananas to get to the breast. Good luck!

I practiced extended breastfeeding and have coslept with all five of my children. With the first three I just kid of sucked it up and bared with this stage. Although my third child didn't really do this. With my fourth she coudl drag the nighttime nursing session out for hours and both she and I were not getting good sleep. We fianlly switched to me nursing her in a rocking chair (at about 14 months) and then her laying down with my husband. She cried because she wanted to nurse to sleep but it made me frustrated angry and resentful that she wouldn't leave me alone and I was tethered to her from 7 until 2 or 3 in the a.m. Well for about two months she cried every night for 45 minutes or more while my husband layed down with her. We finally decided if she was going to cry anyhow that we might as well let her cry alone so we both wouldn't be so strung up. This seriously went against my previous AP, baby wearing, cloth diapering, child led weaning ways but I wasn't really enjoying my child anymore. We bought a crib. I nursed her, laid her down in it and she cried for the same 45 minutes then went to sleep and slept for four hours. The next night she cried for 30 minutes and slept thorugh the night. The next few minutes she just put up a small protest about 1-3 minutes and went to sleep and slept a minumum of 4 hours but often through the night. This made a huge difference so with our fifth who seemed to be started down the same route we started putting her in acrib at 6 months. She is nine months now and goes down in her crib at 6:30 and wakes sometime between 12 and 5 and is pulled into bed with us. If she gets on a crazy nursign spree my husband takes her back to her bed where she usually goes straight back to sleep. If took about two weeks with crying, sometimes very ahrd crying to get to where she would easily go to sleep. I read Mark Weisbluth's book "Healthy Sleep, Happy CHild" and it really helped although I have to say I would not have been ready for his message with my first. WIth him I used the "No Cry Sleep Solution for TOddlers" which does have some marathon nursing suggestions.