My Almost 4 Year Old Pees Her Pants

The thing that finally worked for my 3 yo when he degressed (and we tried everything - tv, toys, punishment, ect...) was to take a roll of quarters out and at first, every time he went to the bathroom he got a quarter. Eventually, every day he was dry he got a quarter. Then he could bring them to the arcade at Walmart and spend them any way he wanted to.

When I was young, until about 10 or so, I had trouble with making it to the bathroom on time. The biggest problem I had, and sometimes still do is not getting the message until it was an emergency. I think before you punish her for accidents, you should verify that there is not a physical issue that is keeping her from being accident free. Probably the best place to start would be her pediatrician. Best of luck to you.

I would take her to your doctor. I suspect she may have an Urinary Track Infection. Testing is minimal as all they need to do is collect a sample. Ask for a hat instead of trying to collect via a cup.

G.

Hello. Your husband is wrong. I surely hope you have not punished her for something she cannot help. It could be many things that are happening with her. The way you describe things, it sounds like she cannot yet tell when her bladder is full, so it is up to you to bring her to the bathroom at the obvious times and let her sit so she can learn how to relax her bladder muscles and feel the sensations. Sit with her and praise her endlessly even if she goes only a drop. All this said is assuming that there is no actual physical problem with your daughter. But as this started just recently, look back and try to figure this out. Did someone say anything to upset her? Is she still wanting, in her sweet 3 1/2 little girl way, to be the baby and not the big sister? The fact is that she is only 3 1/2 years out of heaven and she will learn at her pace with your loving guidance.

My two children and some nieces and nephews had their bladder challenges. The nieces and nephews had bladder reflux and would wet the bed when their muscles relaxed at night. My daughter, even at her age of thirteen, sometimes holds her urine until she has to go now! Oh well, I wish you the best and don't be upset. This too shall pass.

My daughter was having the same problem took her to the dr. she was so severely constipated it was pushing on her bladder and she couldn't control this, a little miralax and she was good to go again.

If it's not a medical reason then I'm a firm believer in making a 4 year old completely 100% responsible for their actions including cleaning up their urine messes, changing clothes, putting soiled clothing in appropriate dirty laundry, etc. with NO help from mom/dad but only some supervision. After dealing with the problem herself she will realize it's so much easier to not powerstruggle,be lazy, wait til the last minute to go, cry out for attention whatever the reason may be. I 've tried this with my own daughter works great. I don't deal with "accidents" once their well established and trained unless they're physically sick or ill. My daughter knows if this happens she takes care of it, I want no part of it.

your hubby is right...my daughter regressed all the way back to diapers and a bottle....so i put some formula in a bottle instead of juice....ended that problem real fast...she decided she was a big girl after all...it just takes time....good luck

It could be something as simple as a slight rebellion due to her younger sibling but since she has always had 'tiny' accidents, you may want to get her checked for a bladder problem. I had this as a child and until I had a simple in office procedure to correct it, I wet my pants constantly. My problem wasn't a weak bladder though, it was a case of having too strong of bladder muscles...this meant that the muscles wouldn't respond when I wanted to go, causing my bladder to fill up, once my bladder was overly full, the muscles would release and I'd go all at once, then they'd slam back shut until it was overly full again. I had no control over it. Once I'd had the procedure done to loosen the muscles, the wetting stopped immediatly. Does she wet the bed too? If so, I would most definately suspect a bladder problem.

Do not punish her! It's not her fault! I had a surgical retrograde test done during a bladder infection when I was in kindergarten and spendt the next few years without feeling like I had to "go" until it was too late. I was teased by kids all the time in elementary school. I remember one day being in the lunch line and then all of a sudden feeling like I was wet and then running to the bathroom too late. Kids pointing and laughing all the way. I did not totally recover until I was about 10 years old, but still had night time accidents until 14. She will grow out of it. Just don't make a big deal of it when it happens. Believe me she will feel bad enough about it herself.

the kidney reflux can cause that. remind her to go even if you have to set a timer. if she really doesn't know then she could have a real problem. My 5 year old niece had the reflux and was in the hospital for a week as it caused a bad kidney and bladder infection. after she got better they said remind her to go ALOT. they think my niece had the infection for weeks before she got a fever (105) so keep her pumped full of liquid and remind her to go if it doesn't improve the dr is your next stop.

My daughter's been doing the same too. We took her to urgent care-- along with her siblings-- the other night because I was convinced something was wrong with her (and possible ear infections for the others.) It turns out that she has a UTI. She is currently undergoing treatment. (She was actually quite proud of herself for 'peeing in the cup' --something I noted that her brother had not done ever!)

Be patient. Check with the doctor before you change anything you are doing. Best of luck!

Take her to your doctor, she may have a bladder infection. Rule out physical causes before thinking she is doing this on purpose.

she may have a bladder infection. I would have her looked at.

I would try the chiropractor before doing any in depth tests. One of my daycare kids was having that issue and the adjustments helped. If something is out of place, it can push against the bladder causing this problem.

Good luck.

My son is 4 1/2 and still pees his pants. He's been potty trained for at least a year and a half. But he still has little accidents (and once in a while he has bigger accidents too). The doctor wasn't concerned at all. I have no idea why he does it. Sometimes he does really well and has no accidents, especially when we are out of the home, but at home he seems more lazy and just forgets to go to the bathroom. Its so annoying! I tried setting a timer to remind him to go, but that backfired and then he thought he could only go potty if the timer went off. I tried a sticker chart and he didn't care about it at all. Maybe if I wasn't so busy it would have worked better. :/

My oldest had kidney reflux and was born with a deformity in her bladder. She had two bladder surgeries and as a result didn't potty train until she was almost ready to go to kindergarten. At that age some children do not have control over their bladders. Their bladders are too small to accommodate the volume of fluids. I know the VCUG testing can be dramatic for a child.(She had it done about 7 times) My DD had to have it again when she was about 5 and they were able to give her verset to sedate her. I recommend Dr. Durkee out of Children's hospital of Milwaukee.(The Urology Clinic) It is worth getting it checked out. Since there was a prior problem why not see someone who specializes in the problem and children?

M.,
Hi, I have a 4 year old girl. I had her trained and then all of a sudden she start wetting in her pants. She couldn't get to the toilet fast enough. I thought she was trying to get attention too. I did everything possible too. I finally asked if it burns or hurts when she goes to the bathroom. She said yes, but I wasn't sure she knew really what I met. It was 3-4 weeks later, I knew something wasn't right. About that time, she started crying when she went, then I knew it was a bladder infection. I felted really bad. I took her to the doctor and got a urine sample, it was positive. We got medication for this, but come to find out, she wasn't wiping very good front to back! She is dry and no problems. She even holds it all night from 8:00pm-8:00am with no problems. I would check her urine first, if not, maybe back off. She will do it when she is ready. Just use pull's for about 2-3 months and then maybe she will surprise you. Being a first time mom, I now see it's a struggle, but really should not be that big of an issue. She did it when she was ready and seen other big girls with pretty panties. Good luck.
I am a mom of a 4 1/2 year old and a part-time RN. I have a wonderful, supported husband also. It took us 10 years to have our daughter. Remember they wont to please us, even thou we think differently. I think she felt bad because she knew we were upset.