My Almost 3 Year Old Doesn't Want to Nap

Hi K.,
My son was done with naps when he was 2 and I put him in preschool (full day) when he was 3. You daughter may be at that point where she no longer needs naps even though she may be a little tired. However, quiet time is good especially with the baby. I would put on a 90 minute Disney Movie and let her just relax and maybe even fall asleep in front of the TV. Or consider putting her in preschool a few days a week so the house is quiet for the baby.

Good luck!

K.,

Yes, sleep begets sleep...but, if the child is over tired there is no amount of sleep that will help her nap. My son has clear points in time when he has passed the point of tired and will not nap unless he passes out pouting because he can't take it anymore. She might look tired, but she also might be past that moment when sleep is easy to come by. IF my son doesn't get his head on his pillow before 1pm, me or whoever is watching him is out of luck...and hello cranky kiddo. Same with bedtime.

For days when he won't nap because he's past his peak, we have quiet time in his room. He has a quiet time box with books, toys and stuff that he can play with in his room. I have a digital clock (my friend uses an egg timer for her younger one) and he knows that when it says, 2 on the clock he's done resting. Most times, my Mom or me stays in there and I will read a book to show him by example what queit time looks like.

Our bedtime routine is the same at naptime. We even brush our teeth because he pointed out that he does that at 'sleep time'. So, we brush teeth/wash face and read books before nap time too. We listen to soft music and I rub his back sometimes to help him be calm.

According to his Pedi kids need some form of resting/naptime until they are at the 1st grade age and even then he said a little rest after school doesn't hurt before homework time. Kids are much more productive with a little extra rest and settling helps them settle into homework.

And of course don't forget to talk to her about why its important to rest...explain to her that she's growing and she needs the rest so she can learn and have fun. My son sometimes tries to negotiate out of naptime, but I explain to him why he needs to rest and it works.

Good Luck!

Hi K.,
When I had a three year old and a 10 month old, I would have "quiet time"...Actually I would lay on my bed and my older son would sit and and I would read to him. It was a special "just the two of us" time. I got enough of a break.
Alternately, let her read books or play with dolls and other toys on her bed. Call if "Quiet time" not nap time. Then make sure that she goes to bed at a decent time...7:30?? (that was my sons bedtime at that age) on a regular scheduled basis. If they don't have a nap, they usually will go down and then sleep through the night.
Enjoy your precious blessings!
H-

Well as you know, consistency of a "routine" is important.
But I have also found, that when a child is about to meet another age-set, they have trouble with their usual sleep habits.
Just stay constant. It will pass. Both my kids went through that too... but my son, who just made 3, still naps, and my daughter was still napping up until the first half of 1st grade. They were honestly tired. I had a routine, every single day, and they knew it.

If you daughter will not nap in her room... after her wind-down pre-nap routine... then perhaps, just let her nap on the floor. For a brief moment, when my daughter was a toddler, she went through a phase where she didn't want to nap in her room or in a bed. BUT... she WOULD nap, if on the floor of the living room or on the sofa. So I let her. That way she actually slept. Then that "phase" passed, and she went back to napping in her room. So in other words, even though I had a ROUTINE, I "allowed" her to nap on the floor for that moment of her phase.

And yes, she may very well just be "over-tired." Over-tired kids or babies, actually have a HARDER time, falling asleep, and actually sometimes get more hyper.
... thus, try adjusting her 'nap time.' Make it earlier or later... and see how that goes. For me, if I miss the window of opportunity for naps (ie: when my kids ARE tired), then they have a harder time to fall asleep. But if for some reason I delay my son's nap time, then he gets a 2nd wind so to speak, and actually "wakes up" more.
But yes, I have a REGULAR nap "time" for my son. He is napping now in fact.

Perhaps, she is just "too" active in the morning? Over stimulated children/babies, get too much stimulation, and this just works against them.... and then they can't sleep efficiently or as needed.
There is a myth sometimes, that keeping them real active will tire them out... but many times, this just does not work. When my kids are OVERLY active or had a super stimulating morning... this is when they "fight" naps, more.

Next, I would NOT wake her up early... on purpose, with the hope that she will then tire out and nap, later. Nor would I let her sleep later at night... this just works against them being "able" to sleep well. Just put her to nap and sleep at regular times. And let her wake at her NORMAL time.

Next, if just having a "quiet time"... make everything 'boring' and not turn on anything, nor engage in activity. MAKE IT quiet and boring. For me, I even told my daughter, that "Mommy is just going to sit down and read...no talking..." and that was enough for my daughter to quiet herself and not engage me in 'activity" just to delay things. For me, that worked. Or, I would tell my daughter that "Its Mommy's nap time too.... and brother is already napping... so..." then that was it. Otherwise, my daughter is prone to just talking and talking and not quieting down.

Turn OFF anything stimulating... prior and during nap "time." The less stimuli the better, or the get distracted.

For me, I never used bribery/rewards for naps or sleep. It just is.. and this is/was my kids routine, since they were babies.

All the best,
Susan

Consider yourself lucky she's napped so long!
My daughter gave up her a.m. nap at 1 and the "big" afternoon nap at 2!

Perhaps you can institute a "quiet time" for your 3 y/o during your 10 m/o's nap time.

Hi K.,
I totally understand what you are going through. My daughter who is now 12, stopped napping at about 2 1/2. I tried everything! I laid in bed with her, read her books, had her stay in her room for "quiet time", etc., none of it worked. And she needed to nap! Live was unpleasant, especially around dinner time. (This is the same child who would talk nonstop in her carseat so she wouldn't fall asleep). The up side as someone else brought up, is that you can put her to bed earlier. It will pass...good luck.
M.

Ummm, what is wrong with quiet time?? Quiet time just means "stay in your room" or whatever the rules are at your house, it does not mean hang out with nothing to do-- I guess I expected the kids to play with every toy they could find during quiet time and after the hour was over, we'd clean up together. You could even make quiet time be a video and a cup of milk. Just chill out for a while. When I started quiet tome with my 3 y.o., I did it as 20 minutes, and as she got more comfortable with it, added a few minutes a day until we got up to one hour (or more if she let me!). I would do it while the baby was napping, so I was free to do what I needed to do, as if they both napped. Try the quiet time again, and make it shorter, until she finds something that will hold her interest. You can offer up suggestions, "play with your dolls, look at your books, or watch a video, but you are not to call mommy until this timer beeps. If you want me to help you set up the video or put on barbie's dress to get started I will help now, but then you play by yourself until the buzzer beeps."

Good luck, I know how much you need a break.

My older daughter resisted naps and she was a bounce-off-the-walls kind of kid. Not all kids need a nap, although we as parents desperately need the rest ourselves. Is it possible to get her to play quietly on her own for awhile? That is about the best we were able to do with my daughter. While she was at day-care they tried to force her to lie on a bed and take a nap and it was sheer torture for her. She has recounted it vividly to me now at age 18. I don't think trying to force her to nap was a good move looking back on it. She was much happier when we let her play quietly, and she did learn to do so with a little practice.

My 5year old daughter did this at the same age and after driving myself nuts trying to force her to fall asleep I gave up. I instead started putting her to bed at 7:00 pm and it worked out perfectly because at that time she's pooped. I feel your pain just remember that the more you push for naps the more she'll fight it. Let her have quiet time and if she naps good but if not don't push it.

My daughter just turned 4 and we are at a similar stage. Some days she has a good solid nap and some days she doesn't. I think that is part of the transition to dropping the nap.

I have a younger one too, and understand the need for your own time in the afternoon, but I wouldn't fight about whether or not she sleeps. We have a regular quiet time when my daughter knows that she has to read or play in her room for a set amount of time. She can choose to sleep or not. Be firm about the rules of the quiet time, but don't try to force sleep. If she needs more sleep, then try an earlier bedtime, particularly on the days that she does not nap. (The plus side of dropping the nap is that bedtime is easier now because my daughter is actually tired.)

K., Are you really sure that your daughter still needs a nap? If so, she might be fighting them so much so she can have some alone time with you without her little sister. I would tell her the truth, that everyone needs some quiet time. Try spending some time with her special ( 10-20 minutes should be manageable). At her nap time tell her that she doesn't have to sleep, but that she needs quiet time just like Mommy does. Put her in her room, and go to your room. Don't try to do work during that time- rest!

I hope these suggestions are helpful.

my son quit napping at 3..i actually dread when he naps b/c that means he'll be up super late..here's what i do for some peace..1st i have him in preschool 2 afternoons a week..which is lovely..and i've taught him how to use my other computer..he goes on Youtube and surfs cartoons..he loves Ghostbusters..and he loves using the computer..i now get a lot of free time..i get the tv at night..he'll play on the computer then go play w/ his toys..i set him up w/ juice and a snack..he does call me in to change things sometimes but it's a nice break..just teach her how to click around if u have a computer...if u don't i would recommend getting a cheap one..
or get a dvd player and have her lay in bed and watch and maybe she'll pass out..
i still remember when i was 3 and i wasn't tired and everyone was trying to get me to nap all the time..it made me cringe as an adult to hear the word nap!

good luck..maybe its time for her to go to preschool if u can afford a couple days a week it's really worth it!

Hi K.,
Sounds like you need to incorporate a strict sleep schedule. I had to do this with my 28 month old. We do the same thing every day (for naps and bedtime)I read her 3 different book (all very short) I always end with the same book, that way she knows what to expect. It really worked for her. I have a great on-line book that I can send you. This book really changed my life!!!
Please email me at ____@____.com and I will shoot it to you. The author covers a ton of different issues. (multiple children)It's just a great book.
If any other mom out there is having problems then just email me and I will send it to you too!
Good luck!