My 20 Month Old Son Throws a Tanturm at Bed Time

Get those spinning door knob covers so he can't open his door, and let him be. All kids go through this stage. Just limit his options for play in his room and forget it. It's just a phase. You've been lucky that he took 2 naps so long. He still needs a nap, or at least quiet time every day. He'll settle back down eventually.

He only needs 1 nap a day. If he will not sleep he at least needs extreme quiet time.If he gets up at 7:00, then have him play very active from 10:00- 11:30. This means outside running around climbing, jumping hopping.. Riding a trike..

Bring him inside and wipe him down so he can cool off. Feed him a quiet lunch speak softly . Make sure your home is cooling down.. No TV... Then nap right after lunch.. This should be a quiet story with a fan blowing on him.. You may want to cover the windows in his room with something to block out the light. One mom said she uses black trash bags.. Then just like when you were teaching him to sleep at night, every time he gets up, walk him back to his bed and just say, its time to sleep. EVERY TIME. You can also tell him he has to stay in his room in his bed. Do not mention sleeping.. Let him look at books or play quietly.

Then when he wakes up it is a tiny snack if he needs it and then running and playing then errands, then get ready for dinner, bath, quiet time.. Get the room ready again.. fan, darkened not a lot going on.. And bed.. If your neighborhood is loud with children outside playing and he can hear that.. You may want to play some music or purchase a sound machine.

It does take a lot of effort in the beginning.. This is not unusual. Your little boy is wanting to be where all of the fun is and he thinks that is with you entertaining him.. If it looks, sounds and feels like not much is going on, he would much rather hear a good story, be comfy in bed and sleeping.

I am sending you patience and a good nights sleep.

I agree that you need to cut down to one nap and maybe move his bedtime back about 30-60 minutes. We totally went through this when we moved my daughter to a big bed at about this age too. It was horrible. I cried every night. I never thought it would get better, but it did...slowly but surely. I think you need to come up with a game plan to keep him in his room. Once he's in his room and not trying to come out, leave him alone and let him take care of himself. We pretty much just put her in bed every time she got up...I would say my record was probably upwards of 100 times a night. It was not easy, but it eventually worked and that's the goal. Each night was better. Look at it like this...you're worn out, tired, frustrated and irritated now, so that's not going to change, but what is going to change is your approach so that eventually the other things will change too.

You can use the door knob covers. I never did only b/c I feared that once she figured out how to overcome them, it would become an issue all over again. I'm not sure if that's true or not, but that was why I avoided them. This is a very hard time. Most parents go through it. Having a plan will help move you in the right direction and until then, my heart goes out to you and the tears we share! ;)

I would save his bath for before bedtime. It is very calming and soothing start to a bedtime routine. Make sure he is not overstimulated after dinner. Quiet music, read a book together, bath, jammies, bed. If he is in a toddler bed try bed rails it may help him feel a little more secure. Babyproof his room, make sure furniture is anchored to the wall, plugs covered, blinds & curtains are secure, etc.. Get a gate for his doorway. Supernanny has some great techniques so check it out online or get her book from the library.
Start to have a "quite time" during the day where he goes into his room to nap. If he doesn't sleep that's okay, just don't engage him in a battle. Place him in his bed, read a story to him, tell him it's "quiet time" and leave the room. In the beginning start at 10 minutes, then slowly increase it by 5 min increments. If he gets out of bed make sure there is a toy or book he can play with. Use a baby monitor with video so you can see that he is okay without him seeing you.

You are entering a very interesting age and your patience will be tried and tried again. Be firm, be flexible, be consistent and most importantly be the mom! Good luck.

It sounds like you have a good schedule in place, stick to it. You can probably eliminate the morning nap at his age he probably doesnt need it anymore. As for the getting out of bed issue, continue your normal evening routine and then put him in bed. When he gets out of bed tell him, "Son it is time for bed", put him back in bed, "I love you and I will see you in the morning". If he gets out of bed again, lead him by the hand back to bed and tell him "Mommy said it is time for bed", and put him back in bed say nothing else. If he gets up anytime after this lead him back to bed not saying anything at all. It might take a few nights but it really does help. Also he might be teething or going through growth spurt. Good Luck

No advice, but I was just about to post something like this... I am in the same boat with my 20-month-old little man. Can't wait for people to respond. I am constantly up and down during the night putting him back in his bed, then he comes back...you get the cycle. Sleeping in his bed has never been a problem until recently. We have him in a toddler bed , seeing as he discovered how to get out of his crib. Girl, I am tired too!

I think it is time to eliminate the morning nap and just do one nap around 1230 or 1, and maybe move the bath to nightime. When they are over tired, it is sometimes harder to get them down for a nap, and it sounds like he is over tired, and he is getting too much sleep in the morning and throwing off the rest of the day.

Is he teething? If he's waking up after only 20 minutes maybe something is hurting him? For getting him to fall asleep in the first place, I would try making sure that he is physically exhausted - running, climbing up to go down the slide, really vigorous physical activity. And this is probably not something you want to do long term, but maybe just to get his clock reset, try putting him in the stroller for a walk and let him fall asleep in the stroller or in the carseat for a drive. I find if my son doesn't get enough sleep, he has an even harder time going to bed so I do whatever it takes to make sure he gets a nap, even if it's not in bed.

When did you transition him to a toddler bed? Maybe he wasn't ready yet and would sleep better in a crib?

Sounds like he is ready to drop the morning nap. I would make him have a rest/nap time for a short time after lunch. child proof his room (I know thats probably already done lol) get a gate and put it across his doorway. After lunch and a short story put him down for naptime. put the gate across and let him scream. he won't do it long if you don't play the game. if you play the game (going back in over and over and trying to calm him) he will never stop. (think along the lines of baby throwing the toy out of the stroller and you picking it up over and over) because right now you are trained to do what he is wanting which is let him stay up. put him down and say go to sleep or have a rest or whatever. and make him stay there for an hour. then back up. at bedtime at night don't give in to it at all or you will have him trained to keep getting back out of bed till you crack and end up yelling which is his clue that hey its "NOW" bedtime. The gate will be a big help. good luck.
ps: your not a bad mom when you put a gate up. It keeps him safe.

I would either put him back in a crib or, if that's not an option, super baby proof his room and put up a gate or use a door knob guard to keep him from getting out. It's REALLY hard to do but he needs to cry it out and get some sleep. He is chronically overtired at this point and sleep begets sleep (something it took me too long to understand). I've also heard of people turning the door knob around so the locking mechanism is on the outside - this prevents them from locking you out and, if absolutely desperate, you can lock them in. Again, that wouldn't be my 1st plan and only if the room is super baby proof. Oh, I've also had a friend go buy one of those country style split doors - she locked the bottom 1/2 and left the top open so she could hear/see what her son was doing but he couldn't get out.

well sounds to me like the terrible two's hitting. maybe bedtime should be later. could be to much sleep at one time. put a gate up in his room turn his lights out and simply tell him its bed time goodnight. thats what we do with our girl. she gets up once in awhile turns her light back on and plays or "reads" to herself. generally she falls asleep after awhile.

also double check and make sure he is dry and clean. sometimes when our daughter fights its because she is dirty or super wet. also she doesn't take a nap every day now. it could be that he doesn't need his nap during the day anymore. I've also noticed a little bit of milk before bedtime really helps calm her nerves after a busy day.

otherwise its just he is testing his power with you and you have to stay firm. its hard there are times i'm just like fine play but usually that doesn't last long.