Moms with Older Kids: How Old Before You Left on Their Own at Home?

Updated on October 17, 2011
M.J. asks from Sacramento, CA
19 answers

Our son is 8 1/2 and seems capable now of being left at home for very short stretches (we're talking 15 minutes or so). But I'm not sure at all what the typical age is when parents leave their kids on their own.

Curious what others have done?

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Thanks for all of the responses! I appreciate the feedback.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

That's exactly the age I started doing exactly the same thing.

He'd really prefer I left him at home for grocery shopping, etc., as well. He'd undoubtedly be fine... but this is a training period for both of us.

4 moms found this helpful
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B.F.

answers from Chicago on

I started leaving my son alone for short periods this past Spring when he was 9. I think 8 1/2 is a good age to start leaving him for short periods.

4 moms found this helpful

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S.F.

answers from Reno on

I was comfortable leaving my oldest home alone around age 10. He's 17 now and, believe it or not, I'd be ok leaving him alone for a weekend. He's very mature and responsible...a good egg.

My youngest, however, is a different story. He's 13 now and I still hesitate to leave him home alone for too long because he is inconsistent in the "good decision making" department. If he's with my 17 year old, no worries. Just him...minor worry.

It really depends on the child.

Good luck!

4 moms found this helpful

A.T.

answers from Dallas on

Depends on the child. I was a latch key kid at age 7. My 8 year old would freak, yet my 7 year old is totally capable. I think if you feel they can, they can. Use your mommy judgment. Try it out, leave but don't "leave" for 15 minutes and see what happens. Just make sure they know about 911, which neighbor to go to if they need assistance, their home info, your cellphone, where the first aid kit is, and what to do in an emergency.

4 moms found this helpful
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C.R.

answers from Kansas City on

I think for 15 minutes it should be fine. My oldest is 10 and we leave her at home for an hour at most by herself.

4 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Yep sounds about right with us too.

She totally locked the door and knew all of the rules. Knew how to use the phone to call us or to call 911..

Never had a problem. Once she was in 4th grade. 9, I felt like I could leave her to go grocery shopping.. usually an hour. Again, never had a problem.

4 moms found this helpful
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K.C.

answers from Cleveland on

I was left at home by myself whne I was 11. It was like 20 minutes or so. That's wha I'm planning to do with my kids.

3 moms found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I agree with Laurie A.

3 moms found this helpful

A.G.

answers from Houston on

My daughter is mature enough, shes 8 1/2 too. Im not sure when i will allow it either. I was a latch key kid at 5....my parents had to work and i had two older brothers, (8 and 10) My daughter is way more mature than they were, lol.

Im thinking soon i can try out trips to the corner store and around 11.longer stretches,

3 moms found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

Probably around age 12-14. Eight is too young unless he has siblings to stay with him.

3 moms found this helpful

V.C.

answers from Dallas on

It totally depends on the child. We could leave our oldest at that age, but youngest is a different story.
I left the younger one for a 20 minute trip once and he managed to set the oven on fire! Then threw water into the electric oven. And he was a boy scout!
At 17 he still worries me that he will open the door for the wrong person, leave something on, etc.

2 moms found this helpful
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V.M.

answers from Cleveland on

I"ve been thinking about this for my 8 yo, i've decided to wait until summer when he will be almost 9. Starting with just 15 mins. I'll see how he feels about it too, he may not be eager to do this yet, he hasn't asked it's more that i would rather not have to drag them both.

I'm also pretty dead sure that I will only leave him if his 7 yo sister is with me and NOT at home with him. Her i don't trust at all.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

10 for the earliest. Anything can happen.....

1 mom found this helpful

L._.

answers from San Diego on

I never really felt good at it at any age. My kids are in their 20's and one is even just a few years from 30. They all think I'm a paranoid freak. You just have to do what you feel is right.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter is 9 and she has been left home alone for an hour or more at a time since she was 8. She's very responsible, comfortable being home alone, knows all the rules, and we live in a condo building where she knows most of the people in the building. Same at her dad's house, where she knows all the neighbors.

Answers on this will vary depending on the child. Some are not capable until older, some are younger. The child needs to feel comfortable with it, also. If your son seems ready, then do it. Then gradually increase the time away.

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K.L.

answers from Lafayette on

I think 10 is about right, for less than one hour. Imagine if the worst were to happen (tornado, fire, you are stuck in traffic)--could your child handle that? My dd was 12 and home alone when the police came to the door.. She was terrified--listen to the police, or don't let in strangers? What rule to follow? It was awful for her.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Well, for one each state has laws. So start there. Then, it depends on the kid. We left SD for an hour, I think, when she was 9 but did not let her come home alone like SS did at the same age (11/12) because she was not as mature. But we knew she'd age out of aftercare so we worked with her on the behaviors we needed.

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C.M.

answers from Chicago on

My 3 questions with it are #1 what is the maturity level of the child, #2 how long and where do you live and #3 what are the laws in case something should happen?

We were not comfortable at age 8 or 9 because of the maturity level but also because what if something were to happen? Would be be seen as neglectful for leaving an 8 year old alone? Could we forgive ourselves if something happened that was beyond her ability to handle?

At 10 we leave her for small stretches, for no more than 30 minutes. We figure age 12 is okay for babysitting so age 10 is okay for short stretches.

It's a different world out there and opinions have changed. I knew latchkey kids who were age 7 when I was little but nowadays it would be seen as neglectful. I'm not only conscious of actual danger, but the perception of the police. Because my husband is divorced he could lose custody over something very small so we are very cautious.

In the end it's your child and your choice. Good luck!

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S.Q.

answers from Los Angeles on

This question gives me a headache just thinking about it. The thought of leaving my now six year old alone when he's 8.5 makes me panic a bit. I hope I grow out of this.

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