"Ladies Itch, They Mustn't Scratch"

I grew up on a farm and was expected to do all the same chores my brothers did - feed and clean up after animals, pick rocks and weeds in the fields, stack hay and straw bales, etc. So no, not much talk about being "ladylike" if any.

BUT, when I was 16, the age each of my brothers were given a car, my dad said "girls don't need cars, they need boyfriends with cars..." I never forgave him for that, really.

My mom told me over and over to make my own money and never rely on any man. I went to college and grad school, attained a great career, then left it to stay at home with my kids while they are little.

I would've done it sooner because that was the life I wanted (and my husband was fully supportive) but my mom's voice haunted me.

"Horses sweat...ladies 'glow'".

lol

I surely 'glowed like a horse' when keeping up with my brothers and all our neighborhood friends!

Well that explains a lot!

;)

I hope to teach my girls to be smart, strong, and capable. We'll see if I succeed.

I grew up in the 60s/70s with three older brothers and a conservative father. Oddly enough, I don't remember explicitly being told I couldn't do anything. And there were certainly times that my Dad inspired me to aim higher than I was aiming. (For instance, aim for being a pilot, not a flight attendant. FWIW, I went the science/engineering route.)

That said, there were certainly subtle clues that I was treated slightly differently, but I don't know if it's because I was a girl or because I was the youngest. And they never put me in team sports, while my brothers played football, baseball, and soccer. I learned much later in life that I, like my brothers, have some natural athletic talent and a competitive spirit. I wish I'd done more with it earlier in life.

If it itches, it must be scratched.

My daughter is not taught any gender constraints... I let her do anything that I would let a little boy do.

I was raised with a lot.

My paternal grandma had 4 boys, and I was the first granddaughter born... So I was her first chance at getting to "mother" a little girl. Then, due to certain circumstances, my siblings and I lived with her for several years during my childhood.

She was sent to prep schools during her childhood, and had very definite ideas as to what was "appropriate" for girls and boys. The list of things I couldn't do:

Join Girl Scouts (brothers were expected to be Boy Scouts, but I had to join our church's specific girls group.)

Cook on the grill.

Play with my brother's "boy" toys. (I did anyway, or when we were at my dad or mom's house. Lol.)

Play in the dirt.

Wear white after Labor Day. (Lol. I got in trouble for trying to wear white shoes to church once.)

Take shop class in jr. High. (My dad overruled that, and I got to take it anyway.)

Wear any 2 piece bathing suit... Even tankini style that covered everything the same.

Use the real names for body parts besides head, arms, and leg. Breasts were bosoms, stomach was middle, and don't dare even reference the butt or vagina. Oh, and the uterus was a "baby basket."

No wearing shorts higher than the bottom of your kneecaps, waistbands had to be at the belly button (or higher), shirts had to come down to the middle of my hips, and be 3 fingers below the curve of my shoulder.

Extremely proper ettiquette at the table, but was relaxed a bit for the boys and my younger sister. She would even have practice tea parties to make sure I was holding the cup right, eating correctly, using proper posture, leg position, etc.

I HAD to learn how to crochet, knit, embroider, and sew. (I still enjoy sewing, and kind of enjoyed cross-stitch... Busted he rest.)

ABSOLUTELY NO disagreeing/stating an opposing opinion when conversing with men. (Because *thats* not setting a girl up for molestation. *eyeroll.*)

The list goes on for quite a while. :/

Luckily, my dad counters most of these things, and let me be 100% myself... My grandma nearly had a conniption when he taught me how to weld when I was 11. Lol. Eventually my grandma gave up and relaxed her standards for most of them. :)

When I was 13 I started playing tackle football with the neighborhood boys.
One guy (he was 17 and a friend and he was running with the ball) I managed to catch him round his ankles, he went down and knocked the breath out of him.
And then I asked him "Did I do that right?" and he's nodding and gasping trying to get his breath back.
Mom made me stop.
I was a young lady and young ladies don't tackle guys.
So I stopped.
But the guys knew I could do it if I wanted to badly enough - I had the ability.
They respected that.

I wasn't raised with those restrictions.

I couldn't swing if I had a skirt on. When I started studying the sciences in college, my Dad said that was great - maybe I could get a nice job as a secretary in a lab. Seriously. You don't want to hear the laundry list in between those two statements.

I don't have daughters.

I was warned off of finishing everything on my plate on a date. "Always leave something behind so he doesn't think you're a pig."

Don't walk with a cigarette.

I honestly can't think of anything along those lines growing up. I never grew up with gender restrictions.
I know I have always told my daughter that we don't need to see her diapers/underpants when wearing dresses so she wears shorts/leggings under them. I tell the boys I don't need to see their underpants as well so it's not a girl thing.

My mom always wanted me to sit with my legs crossed if I was in a chair, or bent out to the side if I was on the floor, so that no one could look up my skirt. To me, both of those positions were uncomfortable, and I hardly ever wore skirts anyway.
I let my kid sit any way she pleased.

No burping or passing gas unless I was in the bathroom. Those weren't things that girls do! Lol

I was told to sit like a lady when I was wearing a dress. I still try to get DD to sit nice when she's in a dress, and until she's not wanting to be both girlie and swing upside down, she has to wear shorts with skirts. And I encourage her not to pick her nose or her wedgies in public.

My paternal grandmother tried to dress my sister and I like human doilies, and was appalled that our mother bought us trucks and cars so she always bought us dolls. Mom got the last laugh, though. We still like cars and trucks.

I was warned off nothing.

"Stand Up Straight!" was my mother's mantra, since she is 5'0'' and I am 5'7". But I didn't get lectures on being a lady, just basic manners in general.

LOL thanks for the chuckle, some of these are really funny. Elyse I literally laughed out loud at the secretary in a lab comment. Sheesh! My dad's career advice was to get paid for your brain and not your hands (he was a lineman for the phone company, a solid but physically taxing job...I analyze data from my house).

I can honestly say that I was raised in a gender-neutral home. I have two brothers and two sisters and we all got the same admonitions about manners, standards and capabilities. With my sons, they've heard things like "gentlemen do not wear hats indoors" and such from me but that's probably as gender-specific as my reminders get. With my step-daughter, it's been more along the lines of informing her of how the world works...for example, she was complaining that she couldn't find a wallet small enough to slide into the pocket of her skinny jeans and I said that that's because most women carry a purse and therefore women's wallets are usually larger.

My memories mostly regard career choices. My mother always said "You can do anything you want to do", then when I would decide on something, she would come back with: "What do you want to do that for? You should be a secretary." I still haven't figured out for certain what I want to be when I grow up,(yes I'm in my 40's, so what?), but I never wanted to be a secretary. I still don't know if she thought that was the best I could do, or if it was something she wished she could have done, or some other mysterious reasoning, and she doesn't remember ever saying it so I'll never know. I do know that no matter what my choices were I never felt any support.

As far as my daughter, I have made it a priority to support anything she shows an interest in. She's gone through a ton of choices on what she wants to do with her life, but she has always had the opportunity to try things out instead of having ideas dismissed. She starts college in the fall and is enrolled as an English/Secondary Education major, and is already toying with the idea of switching to Library Sciences. And that's OK, because it's important that she be in control of her future.

I WASN'T ALLOWED TO WHISTLE...but you bet I learned! My dad always said, girls don't whistle.

I can belt out a whistle so loud, my husband asks me to whistle for him in concerts or games.

Since you mention the itch and scratch...still to this day, I see guys/men nudging the balls whenever necessary or desired...we can't do that.

Another thing I see is nose pickers. Men drive down the road, pick their nose, and flick it out the window without a problem. It is rare I see a lady picker.