How to Potty Train - Pflugerville,TX

Updated on September 03, 2013
M.T. asks from Pflugerville, TX
7 answers

Recent to staying at home and my brother has asked me to start watching his son during the day. Brace yourself a lot of info I think. He's 6 mths older than my son and actually about to turn 5. Pees in potty but still poops in his pants. Next year both my son and he will be heading to Kinder but he can't go if he's not fully potty trained. My SIL I swear is a hypochondriac. This week he's allergic to greenbeans and next week he's allergic to dr pepper. He has a lisp that she claims he got after someone jumped out and scared him one day. NOTE - He's had it since about when he started talking and they refuse to take him to a speech therapist so not sure how that will go over at school. My brother who is a substitute bc he still hasn't passed the teaching cert test was at home with him a lot but spent 90% of the time on FB games. I'm planning on trying to do flashcards and letters etc so any tips on that would help as well since I don't know how much or little he knows. Sorry back to the potty training. They don't want to put him in pullups bc they claim there is a medical problem why he won't poop in the potty. Since he's going to be here all day every day I would rather try and teach him to poop in the potty then just look the other way. Even thought about requiring pullups until he has it down. How do I teach him to poop in he potty. My 2 older boys went to daycare and they did most of the work we just helped out at home. He's starved for affection and doesn't do well with sharing and playing w others so that has already been a work in progress the past couple of days I've watched him but know I'll prob need to be more on top of what's going on and have a planned out day every day. Even down to meals since they let his food be a bag of chips he carries around with him all day. My house we eat meals even if it's just a sandwich and chips and fruit. HELP!!!!!!!! All Suggestions welcomed.

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So What Happened?

Thank you so much for all of the suggestions. Read the Roger Knapp info and has a lot of great info. I also spoke with a friend of mine who has her own daycare and she mentioned a lot of similar info. His Pedi is the same as my kids so I may be able to call and get info even if it's just in general and not specifically his case. His parents have had him clean himself for quite some time now and it doesn't seem to bother him. I do have an xbox that I have let them play a couple of times so may be able to use that as an incentive for him to poop in the potty. I have also begun giving him a children's multi-vit every day when I give my son his and push more fruits for snacks. He actually hasn't eaten chips since he started coming. I about died today when I gave them apple/pear sauce I had made as a side to their lunch and he asked me what applesauce was. Every morning he arrives with packaged donuts and I've been having him eat those as a possible snack instead of breakfast which he has been receptive to so when he does eat them as snack he only eats half instead of all of it. I also do more juice and water and coke is not an option. It's helped that my son is used to that and they are similar in age so when my son jumps at it he tends to follow sometimes maybe not knowing what he's getting him self into. Today I had him try around the time he had pooped in his pants last week but no luck. Going to stick with it and hope it works.

More Answers

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

If he likes computer games it might help to sit him on the potty and give him a hand held game. Have him sit there until he poops. Then give him a reward. We did 2 M&M's for poop and 1 for pee or jelly beans, same ratio.

It helps them to feel special and want to do it again. Just make sure he's not getting them any other time during the day or it takes away the "special".

If he is autistic or has some other issue he may never be the same as your kids or at their level. The mom sounds like a case for sure. Too caring because she knows there's a problem and she is in denial.

I'm sure he's going to go through some testing eventually because the teachers will know there is something wrong.

Pull ups are to teach a child to pull up and push down their underwear and protecting your furniture and floors. I hate when people say they aren't useful. If a person has a lot of extra time to clean up poop and pee off their stuff then by all means, let the kid do it anywhere they want.

If you don't want to hand wash poop out of his underwear and his clothes then go rent a rug doctor with upholstery tools to clean your floors and furniture then by all means, tell them to supply you with pull ups.

I used pull ups and am eternally grateful I didn't have to clean poop off my carpet.

Just try to reinforce his good behavior and help him feel good about going, not bad about having an accident. He may also have a biological issue.

We put diapers on clients that were not in control of their bowels when I worked with developmentally disabled children AND adults.

If this child has a physical disability that effects his bowels and his ability to manage them himself then the school system cannot keep him from attending school, they have to supply someone to assist him with toileting. Handicapped children get to go to school too.

I'd also sit him down as soon as he comes in and manage the chips or anything else they give to him. If he can eat them all then have nothing left he might eat other food as he gets hungry. This way he'll have better food in his body.

When I eat regular potato chips I almost always get diarrhea. It's mostly grease and chewed up chips. Sorry. But if I eat other food I do much better.

I suggest you start slowly and work him into eating better food and then work on the potty training too.

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B..

answers from Dallas on

Bless you for taking this on. You are starting from behind and your hands tied. I would be very suspicious about it being a medical problem, bu it is possible that he has a bad case of encopresis. When you eat chips all day long , you have no fiber. He could be so empacted with poo that he involuntarily goes poop. Does he have a ped? He needs a good diagnosis and a plan to clean him out. Your part in this would be to implement any fiber increase, including miralax and an increase in veggies and fruit. If you could take him to the doctor and not the two wackos, it would benefit both of you. I think if you start from there, potty training would be significantly easier.
Vitamins are also first on the list. Magnesium is necessary for good bowel function. And learning can't happen if his body is starved for nutrients.

Once the body is taken care of, then behavior training can begin. It's going to take patience, consequences, continuity and praise. having a regular time to sit on the potty, like after breakfast will give his body signals that have been lacking.

This is like rescusing a third world child. You know they are neglecting him.
CPS would be interested in his case. Your call.

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C..

answers from Columbia on

I think pullups are counter productive to potty training.

Can you just have him help you clean himself up? At 4-almost-5 that should be enough of a consequence to make him want to go poop in the potty to begin with. He will miss out on games/tv/whatever if he has to stop and clean up instead of pooping and going right back to whatever he was doing.

I think you need to find out more about his "medical problems" - ask if since you are going to be the caregiver you can talk to his pediatrician. Then you can put that to rest and move forward with trying to train him.

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

www.rogerknapp.com/medical/pottytrainingrefusals.htm‎ offers a reportedly very effective process for teaching kids who are resistant to poop training. It's respectful to the child and gives him some agency, which is actually necessary for potty use to become the new norm.

Good luck!

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C.B.

answers from Boston on

What worked for my girls was having the potty next to them at all times. So when watching TV it would be there or sometimes they would sit on the lid as chair. If we then went to the kitchen to play with playdoh I would move the potty next to their chair. My girls would also wear no underwear just dresses but that may not work with a boy but perhaps a long shirt and loose shorts without undies might help. And we did a wallchart with 10 poops in the potty giving them a prize. And high praise for even an attempt to poop in the potty. Sounds like he us lucky to have you in his life.

1 mom found this helpful

S.A.

answers from Chicago on

Wow! I must say I'm glad that he will be with you during the day and will receive some MUCH needed structure in his life! Kudos to you for dedicating yourself to working with him and helping him!

I think you should insist on Pull Ups. It will keep you from cleaning up mess after mess and hopefully teach him that big boys should poop in the potty or have to go back to wearing diapers. I bet it won't take you long to train him at all. Based on what you've told us, it sounds like this problem is due to lazy parenting rather than a "medical issue".

Best wishes!

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E.E.

answers from Waco on

Most early childhood development experts will tell you that pull ups are counter-productive and suggest going from diapers straight to underwear. Yes, they help a child learn how to pull their pants up and down and yes, they contain the mess. However, he is waaaay past toddler-hood and I am sure he already knows how to pull his pants up and down. They make a padded underwear that would be a better option in this situation. It will feel more like regular underwear to him and will help to contain the mess somewhat. I like the idea of positive reinforcement with the sticker charts, marble jars, m&m's etc. All of those are good suggestions. He also needs to be made to take responsibility for his "accidents". He needs to take off his own pants, wipe himself, clean himself up, and clean his clothes up. He will get it. It will take some work, but he can do this. If he has been neglected, then he will probably really take to someone actually working with him. Also, with the bag of chips thing, everyone needs to sit down at the table when it is time to eat... No walking around with food. If we are eating, we are sitting. It would be great to get the speech thing addressed now. The earlier the better, but I don't know how you can get them to address it. If his parents had intervened when he was 0-3, he could have gotten therapy most likely for free through ECI. If they take him to be evaluated now, it will cost them for private therapy. If they don't take care of him, it is doubtful they will commit to the weekly appointments. They WILL identify it when he gets to kinder and he will work with the district therapist. It is just a shame, because speech issues are so much easier to correct when they are caught early. Best wishes to you!

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