How to Enforce Quiet Time When He Doesn't Wanna Nap Anymore?

Updated on May 03, 2011
B.M. asks from Dallas, TX
13 answers

on our way home fr church today he took a little snooze, i was like SWEET...naptime for sure. read him a couple books like always, it was quiet & dark in the home...put him in bed, he lays down but yeah right, that child (2.5) ain't trying to sleep for nothing.
1.) how long do i wait to let him settle down & sleep b/c i do think he still needs a nap as he gets one on wknds & at daycare thru the week

2.) if he decides not to settle down (sigh...) how do i do the quiet time thing? i'm pretty damn tired myself & just wanna chill out. i have a feeling if i got him out of his crib & explained quiet time or demonstrated it, he still wouldn't do it. i think he'd probably climb/crawl all over me or chase the dog around or basically anything that's NOT quiet time. :)

any thoughts on this one?? i'm trying to keep these naps as long as humanly possible b/c i am worn out w/him on wknds as it is! :)

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M.C.

answers from Dallas on

If my guys took a little snooze in the car at that age, that was it for nap- they were done. If they were at home and napped, it would be a good bit longer.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

My son needed naps for the longest time (he even still took them on weekends through most of first grade) but he always fought going to sleep because he was afraid he was going to miss something.
He'd get so cranky and cry at the drop of a hat.
So I'd tell him, "You might not be tired but Mommy's very tired - I'm going to lay down for a bit and why don't you come too and keep me company.".
Sometimes Daddy would come too and we'd all lay down on our big bed (the idea being as soon as our son fell asleep the grown ups would get up).
Every single time we'd ALL fall asleep.
I was usually the one to wake up first and I've got some great pictures of Daddy and son napping together.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

Sometimes at nap time, I told our daughter, mommy needs a nap, come lay with me. I would make it all cool in the summer and warm in the winter and I would put on the sound machine or a story on CD and I would rub her back and we would take a nap together. You could even try this on his bedroom floor with a palate made out of blankets or sleeping bags laid out flat.

Once she learned to read, I would have her come and read to me in my bed at nap time, most times, we would conk out with me.

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V.T.

answers from San Francisco on

If my son (now 6) ever took a quick snooze in the car, that was the kiss of death in terms of him taking a nap after that. That little catnap seemed to break the natural cycle of sleep for the day. The key for me was NOT letting him fall asleep in the car, which I know is easier said than done!

And trying to enforce a "quiet time" was a joke. I know it works for some kids, but my son has always been very high-energy. If was up, he was up. There was no lying down together, cuddling, sitting/lying quietly in the room, etc. It was better just to let him be up and do an earlier bedtime. (He would take naps if he didn't fall asleep prior to that; just had to make sure that didn't happen. A nap schedule worked well for us.)

Quiet time may work for you son --there are definitely some good suggestions here worth trying --but if it doesn't, you might just have to rethink your schedule for the day (which I know is a huge bummer since that break is so great to have).

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J.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Turn out the lights, and draw the curtains, so the room is as dark as possible. Rock him for a little while, maybe look at a book, but don't engage him in reading (do that at another time, when you want him alert). Sing some quiet songs, or play a children's CD quietly. Maybe even lie down together. Just remove all stimulation from the situation. I would maintain quiet time for at least half an hour.
Funny story ... my daughter was just past 2 and didn't want to nap, but I was preg with #2 and HAD to rest. Quiet time in her room, dark, shades drawn, etc. I actually fell asleep before she did, but she maintained the quiet for a good amount of time (for a 2 year old ... maybe 20 min) before waking me up! And she didn't try to go out of her room.

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C.W.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Maybe put the question back at him: :"would you like to sleep in your bed or do quiet activities (books, toys in there, etc) in your crib for nap time". These are the only options in your brain but you are giving him choices. Remind him of the rules: no dog chasing or whatever. You have certain expectations for behavior and compliance and he will get the reality You can explain that everybody needs rest time and you are going to take yours now as well. Good luck!

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

My son is 4 and still naps.
He needs it.
If not he turns into a fussy overtired Troll.

It is just a daily routine. Since he was born.
My son naps in the afternoon.
Goes to bed fine at night.

If having a quiet time, I tell him it is quite time for MOMMY too. We ALL do it.
It is not play time or horse around time. I turn things off. ALL quiet.
At least this works with my kids.

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T.C.

answers from Albuquerque on

Hi,
I do quiet time with my boys.

It takes a few days, then off-and-on again of your time to re-inforce what quiet time means.

You are very right: don't take him out of the crib. Get the room as dark and quiet as you can. Cool air also helps, so turn on a fan or turn down the a/c for quiet/nap times.

If (when) he starts to jump around and make noise you have to walk in, and firmly/gently put him back down, remind him: nap time! and walk out. No drama, and no snuggle-time. I also waited outside the door (falling asleep on my feet sometimes), and would repeat the procedure until he stayed lying down.

Also, I don't know if this may apply to your son, but my boys could never nap when they had to poop. My sons (esp the older one) would wiggle and fidget at nap time, I'd put them on the potty and back to bed, and they would fall asleep FAST after pooping! (???)

Good luck!
t

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

Why not just leave him in the crib with a small number of toys? My son started occasionally dropping naps at 2.5, when he was still in his crib. I just continued to put him in his crib with his stuffed animals for 2 hours a day whether he slept or not. He talked and sang, and yes, called for me, sometimes even crying, but mostly I ignored it unless he was really upset, which didnt happen often. Before 3 he moved to a bed, but he kept the habit of staying in bed for nap time and I started letting have other toys, like books, on his bed. By 3.5 he stopped napping, and I told him he can play quietly in his room. Yes, he ventures downstairs once or twice a nap time, but I just send him bak up. The quiet time definitely helps him rest and improves his mood, even though he isnt sleeping. good luck!

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B.C.

answers from Dallas on

You have to have a ROUTINE in order to enforce anything. So get one and stick to it.

Ours: put away toys, if kids puts away, 1 book, if not, no story, then we change diaper and lay down. I sing one song and then a sip of water. And then I leave.

This happens everyday at 2pm no matter where, no matter what. And if she sleeps, I give her 2 hours. If not, then I get her after one hour. Either way, she is in her room, either sleeping or playing quietly during that time.

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

Mine started the same thing at the same age. I still needed him to have a nap or rest time, too. I began to let him watch a DVD and have "rest time" instead of a nap. Usually, he would fall asleep 20 minutes into it, but if not, then at least he had some down time and I got a little peace and quiet, too.

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T.S.

answers from Dallas on

Quiet time for my kiddos started as soon as they gave up naps (age 2 for my oldest, not until age 4.5 for my twins). My 2 year old was out of his crib, but he had to stay in his room on his bed during quiet time. He got whatever he wanted to play with and put it on his bed, I left his light on and he could play until I came for him, but he wasn't allowed off his bed (no movies or anything...just imaginative play. You might want to have some special toys, cars, etc. that are just for quiet time at this age. Also, there were times he needed a nap, but I had to sit next to his bed for about 10 minutes and keep telling him to close his eyes and he would drift off. He just needed to be still for 10 minutes to fall asleep! :) I know he got off his bed during quiet time when he was 2 and 3, but as long as he wasn't destructive or coming out of his room, I pretended not to notice. :)

We home school now and my 12, 9 and 9 year old still have quiet time from 1-3 because I need down time! :) They use part of it for silent reading or finishing up school, and the other time they get a little tv or game time together. Rule is no noise though and no coming down to ask me questions, etc., but they are out of their rooms (we now have two more babies who are napping during that time) and in the playroom being quiet.

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K.D.

answers from Dallas on

When my kids went through this, I found it easy to put in a cartoon on the TV in my room and layed down with my girls in my bed. Usually within 15min they would be asleep. If not they knew mommy was asleep and had to be very quiet and still. Id usually pretend to be aslepp and then once they were out I snuck out of the room. Sometimes I really did fall asleep.

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