How Do You Expose a Self Employed Ex.?

Updated on February 27, 2008
H.S. asks from Topanga, CA
33 answers

My ex pretends to have only a small paycheck as a self employed father. We have 3 ckid together 14, 12 and 8. We have been divorced for 7 years. He has never fully paid his child support agreement. and is currently paying about a quarter of what he is supposed to pay. in 3 weeks he is going before a judge to seek" relief", The problem is that all he is showing the judge is his pay checks , which are doctored. he is not actually telling the judge that he is his own employer and that his company covers most of his living and cash expenses. it is really laughable. he states that he only spends $ 50 on food per month and $ 200 on rent... a total joke. but will the Judge believe him?

How do I expose the truth about his actual life style and true earnings? I don't have access to his books ,nor have the time before the court date, to hire a detective.

We are managing fine with out his contribution , but it is not right that my current husband has to cover all the bills. I am home with the two little ones and that is Great!

What did you do in a simular situation ?

Ciao H.

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So What Happened?

Thank you everyone... Many of you gave me really bright ideas.
The first court date happened, I showed up with 18 separate sheets of evidence , enough to have his lawyer get pink and sweaty and have my ex hiss and stutter :) They got a temporary ( for 60 days) lowered amount for child support, and asked for more time to prepare. I had decided to " feel " out the situation before hiring a lawyer, and know now ,that I need one to be able to play and win this very technical game called Court and law.

You all made me feel empowered with your juicy advise... even the one who told me to lay off for the sake of the kids, whom he has the bliss of having every weekend :( I do all the work he gets all the Play...But better that than having a stranger as a dad .

Again thanks

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D.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

Put that first paragraph down on paper, and give it to the judge, maybe you could even mail a copy to him ahead of time, so that he will already know when the time for the hearing comes.

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G.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

If he is renting, get the number of the manager of his building. Ask the manager to send you a form showing what the rent is in the building. Or, you might be able to look it up online? If you know the name of his apartment complex, they probably list themselves.

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C.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

I am in a similar situation I subpenied (?) his bank account information and it told the truth for him. They all slip up and the right thing catches up with them. The judge will not believe him they have heard every story. After all that we went through my ex is now dying of cancer. I have to explain it to my daughter now.

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T.D.

answers from San Diego on

I dont have a similar situation, but some of my own thoughts as a business owner.

The judge will totally see right through all this. And if you have a attorney you can probably get his bank statements and that will prove otherwise. Since I am a business owner there are ways to be paid without an actual paycheck that is tax documented. I pay myself through accounts payable and of course have to cash it or deposit it into a bank account. You cannot hide money from the IRS no matter what business or personal. Now, if he does cash jobs that could be hidden if a invoice is never generated. That would be one way that he can claim poor.

Good Luck and I hope this helps.

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R.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

You can always take him back to court ~ trust me I know it stinks & is a horrible solution; however if what you say is true a private investigator is really your only solution. I was in your shoes a little over a year ago & I was tired to seeing my ex go scott-free so I hired an investigator. It exposed a lot of money being transfered & cashed out, etc. Different things. IF you have a lawyer you can have his banks records subpoenaed (bank, paypal, etc.)

Good luck!

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E.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi H.:
What you can do is take your husband back to court. File the paperwork before his upcoming court date. You can do it yourself through a courthouse. Just call or go down to the courthouse and they will help you fill it all out.

Once you have the request for a hearing to "up" his childsupport you can tell the judge the situation and the judge could "subpoena" all of the employment records,including the past earnings from his business.

If for some reason they decide to merge your court hearing as one, or if you don't get a court date before his, than make sure you attend "his' hearing and ask the judge to subpoena his employment records and past earnings. If they do this, they will have the exact amount of earnings he has been making.

Good luck and do it now, don't wait.....

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J.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

You can pull his articles of incorporation or dba yourself. It's public information. Contact the California Secretary of State, corporations division in Sacramento. Dbas are filed locally, if he has one. His name should be on the paperwork somewhere. If you need more time, file a continuance for the court date. That is within your right. This is a tax fraud issue as well as dead-beat dad case so it would be great if you could pull the necessary paperwork as exhibits to support your claim. What does not being an American have to do with anything? If you are here legally it really isn't an issue.
Good luck.

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D.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have no personal experience with this, but here's my 2 cents:
1) his tax returns should show the total income and the expenses that he is taking. if he is incorporated, this may be tricker. it is likely that the corporation is paying for all of his auto expenses, partial rent & utilities, cell phone, dining, etc. and then giving him a measly paycheck. Could an attorney help you bring this to the courts attention?
2) to show his lifestyle, what about getting a realtor to appraise the rental that he is living in and give you comps for the neighborhood? This could be as easy as calling up either the building manager or management company, or a local realtor, and suggest interest in renting in his building. Get something in writing.
3) what vehicle does he drive? get a kelly blue book printout of the value, or if it is a new vehicle that he is leasing, try and get a quote in writing from a dealership.
Good luck to you! I can't stand to hear about dead beat dads that scam their way out of supporting their children! It is disgusting!

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C.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

Do you know how he obtains his self employment income? Do you know how he is paid? Do you know any customers? If yes, document this and turn him in to the IRS. You can get 10% of the federal income tax owed AND he never will know who turned him in. That's one course of action. Otherwise, get as many witnesses as you can to come in and give contrary testimony. Also get video and pictures of his lifestyle legally of course. A couple of disposal cameras showing his car at job sites, with customers. Just some ideas. Good luck.

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J.B.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

In order for them to do a relief you have to fill out paper work. MY ex wanted this about a few weeks ago. He wanted to get his lowered. Well I am disabled and dont work and my fiance well he does work. If you want him to continue to pay child support and not get it lowered you will have to do work. How else is the county going to know what is going on. They wont. So if you really want the child support then do your homework. I have to mine when it was time for court. He wanted to pay me 250 a month I said no and I fought it I got phone records and messages and I proved to the judge that he was scum.

So my sons father is "self employed" And well child support says that you keep them updated on where he is working ETC Well I got tired of this. He owes me 36567.00 And his payment is 666.00 a month.As you can see he does not pay well he does sometimes.. What you have to get is a bank account statement or his banking acount number. And it does not matter if it is with the company. They will do a bank lievy and not notify about it. Cause if they did he would take the money out of the account. Once they do the bank lievy he will probly close that account. And go open another one. If you go to his house like I do to my exs I do a little snooping. I DO NOT OPEN THE MAIL. The mail is already opened. Maybe this helps you maybe it does not lol.. Good luck

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M.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Is it possible to ask for an extention on the court date? Have you called your area D.A.? Can you request his income tax records? Social Security should be able to help unless he is doing it all under the table. In that case, i don't know what belief system you have but, Just know that what goes around comes around and if you handle this like a real woman and don't get crazy... it will catch up with him one day. If you respond with your e-mail i'll try to find some time to share my story.

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B.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Dear H.,

I am no help here. I have three children, 19,17, and 15. I have been divorced two years from their father. He has claimed zero income (for the purposes of income tax) for about 6 years. When I asked for child support, I very nearly had to pay spousal support instead - and I am supposed to be grateful that he dropped it. He is supposed to have visitation from Friday night to Sunday night every other weekend, but currently only takes my youngest (the other two want nothing to do with him) every other Sunday - for breakfast or lunch. So I have 3 kids, full time, he only feeds one of them once every two weeks, and I receive no support! Where is the sense of responsibility for the children they made?

I looked at the other responses and see that many of the mothers are advising you to get a good lawyer - I would stress the word "good" - ask around and get references. My divorce lawyer was a wimp and wouldn't fight for anything - just told me he could, but more than likely we wouldn't get it and it would cost me more money. - Maybe ask some of these moms for their lawyers' numbers.

I wish you the best!
B.

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D.A.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

Well, I went to court and asked for more support. I asked for his tax records as one of the sources of his income. It was quite revealing. Instead of a cut back, he had to pay more.

You may need a lawyer, but it will be worth it if the tax records show his real income. As a self-employed person, he must declare what things he uses as deductions. Some of these deductions are government allowed exemptions. You will want to watch for that because he may declare them in court as expenses. An exemption is not an expense, but money back in his pocket.

Hope you find this helpful

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D.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi H.
I know you have had a few responses on this and there are some really good points.

Don't know where you live, however call child support services. Stay annoyomous, ask them if someone is self employed if all income is included when calculated for child support ie his car is a tax deduction. however he has to make the money to pay for the car in the first place.
I own my own business and the way it works when tax time comes is, I make x amount of dollars then the deductions are applied..if he is self employed supinoer (sp) his company records ie the company books. Company tax return. if he doesn't have any his screwed him self. If he say's he pays $200.00 in rent (really in this market) request copies of his cancelled cheques to prove it. If he owns any stocks anywhere they are considered income. (been thru this with my ex)
I also am not American but you have all the rights of one so don't worry about that.

D.

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S.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

if you know this for sure, then you must have some way to prove it, too :-) the judge will see that those numbers have to be fakes unless he is skin and bones. maybe the judge can look at his tax records for previous years and see his income. maybe you can find out his tax information somehow...gotta be sneaky.

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J.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

I am surprised the judge accepts evidence of your husband's paychecks alone. Most courts require documented earnings and will have them subpoened from the employer. You may ask the judge to have the court issue a supboena for his earning record from his employer and also request copies of bank statements and W-2 information. Finally, at the time of the hearing, ask for a continuance to obtain the items mentioned above.

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M.T.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

Here is my advise and take it from a woman who was married for 11 years with 3 children the same age as yours. This will be an uphill battle, but don't give up. Be diligent...in the state of California, a child support order means almost nothing. Get an attorney and have him/her file a summons. Your ex will have to provide the court with a list of assets which will include bank statements for the past 12 months, pay-check-stubs for 2 months, and a tax return for the past 2 years. He will have to fill out an income and expense disclosure and he only has 30 days to respond. If he does not give the court what they're asking for, there will be another hearing. Be patient and don't give up. It took me four years before I started receiving regular child support checks that have been garnished from his paycheck. If he files taxes and there is an existing child-support order; you will receive what's owed to you and your children.

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R.C.

answers from San Diego on

If I were you, I would take pictures of his shoes, watch, overall appearance as well as the car he drives and him place of residence. Pay special attention to high ticket items like flat screen t.v.s, artwork and stereo equipment. Present those photos at the hearing...

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S.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi H.,

I have a similar situation with an ex who owns his own co. and is currently paying nothing! I'm not managing and recently filed a contempt to see if the court system will really help us straighten this out. Anyway, in your situation I would subpeona his credit card bills, you'll be able to show what he's spending money on and how much. You can subpeona his rental agreement or mortgage agreements to see how much he's spending on where he lives. And, you can write in your OSC all the information you know about the kind of business he does on the side. The more details, the more convincing to a judge. Hard to catch a liar, I wont argue with that, but at least expose him and everything he has, it will be harder for him to hide everything from you. Best of luck! And, don't give up, he owes it to his children and to you... S.

p.s. one more thing... the living expenses you says he writes off, when it comes to support those are called 'add backs'. So if he writes off his car, gas, food, etc. when they add up his income to see what support he owes, they add all that BACK IN to come up with his earnings, so don't forget to do that!

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K.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

The judge should probably have him bring his tax returns, more than likely the REAL info. will be on that!

Y.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hey H.. If you are going directly through the child support in los angeles county. They should have requested a copy of his taxes he filed with the irs. You also stated his pay checks are doctored. The child support ###-###-#### is to retain a copy of his ACTUAL paycheck from his employer, which will show his correct earning (not doctored). Hope this helps. Good Luck to You!!

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L.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi H.
I would be glad to discuss your situation with you. I am a divorce mediator with 12 years of experience. Please call me at your convenience at ###-###-####
L. D

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A.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi H.;

If I were you, I will hire a lawyer. As long as you know his SSS# and give it to your lawyer to investigate. The lawyer has more power and access to this kind of situation. It is hard when the father is trying to get away with this kind of behavior. The best thing you can do, is pray and someday, he will caught and what's goes around, it will comes around. Try your best to raised your children from him. Good luck.

A.

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L.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

H.,
the judge isnt stupid....believe me, he sees this stuff everyday, im not too sure but if you are under oath, and let the judge know you are positive he is doctoring his pay, it will be looked into further!
L. f

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H.S.

answers from San Diego on

I was in this same situation with my ex about a year ago. I finally did the homework my lawyer was suposed to do and caught him in the lie.

The first thing you need to do is Talk to the IRS and request his tax number, Do the same at the state level.
If he does not have a tax number with either one then make sure you are documenting every last thing you do to catch him, as it will keep you out of trouble if he ever accuses you of helping him hide money from the IRS (as my ex did).

Next thing to do is Google his name as well as that on the business he owns. Sometimes this will bring up quarterly cost and income statements for their business. It will also tell you when he started his business (most of the time)

Check him out on Myspace. This is where I caught my ex actually bragging about how "stupid the judge was and how he could have said he was homeless and the courts would have believed it. The best part of checking them out this way is the pictures that they post. My ex had posted a few picturees of his last trip to Germany and his new BMW along with captions of when he became the proud owner.

I was really upset when I took a look at how much I was paying my lawyer ($250 an hour) when he was unwilling to do the homework that took me less than 5 hours to do.

In case you are wondering my ex was paying $44 dollars for each of his 3 children a month before I got the evidence needed to take to the judge. He paid this paltry amount for 8 years. Now he is paying $512 for each.

I hope this helps you and your family
H. Stanley

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K.M.

answers from Honolulu on

What is your Ex's employment? If he is self employed, do the people who hire his services get invoiced from him? Your lawyer can request tax documents from his business and from his personal taxes.

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K.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

H.,

Does your ex do his own income tax returns? If he doesn't then you can subpoena his accountant for his last two years' tax return documents. If he does do his own taxes, then you may have a harder time getting this info.

It will require the help of a good attorney or even an investigator, and it will take time. At your court hearing, you may ask the judge for a continuance to give you a little more time... But it is worth it to expose the truth. Afterall, you're doing it for your children.

My ex husband is also self-employed. He is a surgeon,..and you would not believe what he reported to the court as his income... laughable, like you mentioned.

I also recommend that you communicate with your ex, whenever you can, in writing (ie. email). If he slips up anywhere in his emails, you will have it writing.

I have a 2 year old child and have been divorced for two years. We separated while I was 3 months pregnant and being a single mom does have its rewards.

Hang in there and take care.

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C.P.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

If he files tax returns they should be brought before the judge. If he doesn't, turn him into the IRS. Then he will have to pay them plus interest and pay you.

An attorney should take care of this for you.

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K.I.

answers from San Diego on

My sister dealt with family court and child support issues and generally speaking the judges will see through this and should require more of him. I assume you will be attending the hearing? If so, you should ask the judge to speak and let him know what's going on.
Good luck

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R.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi,

I assume you have a lawyer... If so then they need to have his bank acct and tax returns for the last three yrs sopenia.
I agree, its not your current hubby's responsibilty. Good luck. Let us know what happens.

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R.R.

answers from San Diego on

If he is self-employed he has to provide copies of his tax returns for the last three years. Also, if you know the name of his clients or vendors, you can subpoena the records which will show how much they have actually paid to him. Subpoena his bank accounts to see what his deposits are and how much of a draw he is taking from the company. You can also request that the judge impute his income at a rate that is reasonable for a full-time person in his profession.

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B.M.

answers from San Diego on

If you have an attorney ask that he/she request copies or your ex's last 3 year's tax filings - OR copies of his last year's pay stubs directly from his company's payroll office or payroll processing company (mine uses ADP)!! My ex used to work for a really small family-type company that would lie FOR HIM! So if they use an outside payroll company it is actually better - but it will require a court order to get that information out of them!
If you do not have an attorney go through legal aid and get the forms to file to the court yourself requesting the same information. You might need to include a letter stating that you have received information from an anonymous source (or old friend) within his company who has stated that what he is reporting is not truthful, and that you would like to formally request an audit of his earnings from his payroll company so the courts may determine his actual income.
If this doesn't work you than you really will need to get an attorney and let her handle the detective work. Mine never reported what he honestly made either....my kids are 27 & 28 and he STILL owes me a few thousand that I'll probably never see. GOOD LUCK!!
BLM

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C.N.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

Well, for one thing, H.,

It is not your business to expose your ex husband, you need to just settle down and stop this fretting. If you don't need the money, then let it go.

The Judge is not as naive as you think, he will probably catch on, if he doesn't, then just deal with it. It is not your job to be judge and exposer. The ex is hurting himself lots more than you can hurt him.

He can't possibly have a good relationship with his children, and the more you bring up the weakness of the father, the worse it hurts the children. My motto is children first. Getting back at exes is last.

C. N.

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