Hitting - One Year Old

My son hits as well. I think part of it is them learning to show their frustration. After many times, now if we tell him NO show mommy nice. He will pet me instead of hit. Try explaning the correct action like no, be nice and show him what nice is and see if that helps.. It does take time.
Good luck

Don't slap him back, it will do one of two things or both. It will teach him that slapping/hitting is the way to get things you want and/or it will hurt his feelings but at this age he has NO idea what his feelings are being hurt for. He doesn't get it. Trust me, I feel your frustration! My daughter did this around the same age and sometimes still does it when she's past her limit. It drove me nuts and I totally wanted to slap her little hand sometimes - especially now that she knows better. The only thing that really seemed to sink in for my daughter at that age was when she hit I would gasp and say, "Owie, Elle... That really hurts mommy. Mommy is so sad." If Daddy was home he'd kiss it for me. Then I'd walk away from her and ignore her. Daddy gave all his attention to Mommy and we didn't give her any attention, good or bad. Then, the key is to let it go. Don't expect them to have the right reaction and continue to try to punish them long after the fact. They've already forgotten and don't know why you're upset. You have to go on like nothing ever happened after the moment passes. After doing this several times, she would quickly come over and kiss me and after a couple of weeks the hitting episodes were nearly gone. Now she's two... Sigh... A whole new chapter - it's all about the time out now! Good luck!

Slapping his hand back only encourages the slapping behavior. My son went through (is still going through) this, and I've found the only thing that seems to help is completely ignoring it.
At this age, discipline won't really work because they don't necessarily know WHY or WHAT they're being disciplined for. Usually they're just hitting because:
They're frustrated that they cannot communicate
They're past their limit, i.e they NEED their nap/bedtime
They've realized it gets them attention and/or the result they want.

Ignoring the behavior cuts out most of their reason for hitting. The other part is just try to make sure they're getting their naps as much as possible. :)
Good luck, one is such a fun age! :)

Just a suggetion, put your command into active voice and tell him what to do instead fo what to stop doing. Instead of "No hit" tell him "put your hand in your pocket" or what ever else you want him to do instead. This is harder than it sounds, but at his stage of development, it is very difficult for children to hear what you said, and turn the verb into the oposite behavior, which if you think about it, is a multi step process for them. You want to give him simple, single step commands that he does not have to process into an alternative behavior.

M.

Aggression begets aggression. It also teaches them it is okay for grow ups to hit but not children to hit which is a duel standard. I would not recommend that. Keep it simple. Also word power is a skill that will last his whole lifetime. At this age my girlfriends and I told our children to use their words. Our aim was changing the world one bully at a time. No our children did not grow up and become perfect, they do have a good style about them for communicating though. Usual boy have less words then girls so help him with word power to solve his frustrations. Also children will bite if they can not communicate effectively. It is not a pretty sight when they do, sometimes they will even bite themselves. Please under no circumstances bite them back. I personal have a huge scar on my fore arm from a childhood bite. I also worked personally with children before the birth of my of my daughter. Also if you slap him he will slap you and one day this boy will be much bigger than you and probably out weight you! May I suggest you choose carefully how you parent your little boy. Speak to him firmly and directly. Time outs work for all ages one minute per year old. Whether you put him in his room alone or on a chair, even on the floor. Taking him away from the action always helps, tell him what you are doing and why you are doing it. Tell him that you love him. And hug him after his time out and as he gets older you can talk about why he is having a timeout. Please remember some children have stronger wills than others. And some have higher pain tolerance too.
Hey if you do not like the behaviour that comes with no naps, then make sure he naps. Pretty simple.

Updated

Aggression begets aggression. Usual boy have less words then girls so help him with word power to solve his frustrations. If you slap him he will slap you and one day this boy will be much bigger than you and probably out weight you! May I suggest you choose carefully how you parent your little boy. Speak to him firmly and directly. Time outs work for all ages one minute per year old. Whether you put him in his room alone or on a chair, even on the floor. Taking him away from the action always helps, tell him what you are doing and why you are doing it. Tell him that you love him. And hug him after his time out and as he gets older you can talk about why he is having a timeout. Please remember some children have stronger wills than others. And some have higher pain tolerance too.
Hey if you do not like the behaviour that comes with no naps, then make sure he naps. Pretty simple.

I agree with Vanae G. and also suggest just ignoring the hit by turning and walking away.

Also know that his is normal and all kids go thru this stage. They haven't yet learned acceptable social skills so that they can express their frustration in more positive ways. At some point, when he's able to understand, you'll want to remind him to use his words.

Another way to handle it is with warmth and understanding. Calmly and gently hold his hand and tell him that hitting hurts; that we don't hit in this house. Of course that does mean that no one else hits either. If hitting is acceptable some of the time it will be impossible to stop your 1 yo from hitting. His brain is not developed enough to be able to determine when hitting is OK and when it isn't.

Sympathize with him. Tell him you know he's frustrated, angry, whatever and say that even tho he's feeling that way hitting is not acceptable. You can then do one of two things depending on his response. Sometimes my grandchildren at that age would calm down and wanted to be held. I held them. Other times they would still be angry. In that case I walked away before they could hit me again. I'd tell them, when you're calm we can talk/play/etc. If he's tired and it's too late for a nap, arrange for some quiet time with him. Perhaps read him a story, play some soft music, or just rock him for a little bit. If he's hungry give him a snack even if it's close to meal time.

At times both I and my daughter, feed the child, and put him to bed early. We do the same thing for ourselves when we're tired and cranky and there is someone to take care of the kids. There is just no sense prolonging the misery.

I would do my best to see that he rarely skips a nap and that he has a regular routine around naps and eating. Hunger also causes kids to be cranky. Adults, too. My work partner would respond to my crankiness by suggesting that we stop and get something to eat. lol

What is important is letting your little one know that he's having a hard time and that you sympathize but you won't let him hurt anyone including himself. His feelings are OK. Hitting is not.

He doesn't yet have words for his feelings but you can begin giving him those words by saying something like, you're angry because I took that toy away. then don't try to explain why you took it away. That is too many words. What you want him to begin learning is that the way he's feeling is angry and that hitting because of feeling angry is not OK. You also want him to learn that you are in control of your own feelings and will not get angry in return. He needs to know that you understand and still love him.

I went through this with my two sons around 15 mos. of age.
First, set up a play pen or a "pack-n-play" in a quiet place in your home, maybe a guest bedroom and make sure there's no toys or books in it. That's going to be your son's time out spot. The next time he hits you or another, quickly and firmly tell him "no-hit" and put him in the playpen and tell him he's in timeout. Then leave the room. At his age 1 minute is suggested. He may cry and that's o.k., it means he's feeling the consequences. When the time is up, pick him up and explain why he was in timeout, he'll probably want hugs and love from you.
Also, teaching your child not to hit by hitting them does not really work.
Be consistent, this worked well for my boys. Good luck!

First of all, this is totally normal at this age. Kids hit and bite around 1 and even go as far as to 2 years old or more. So don't worry there, they all stop eventually. What I did for my kids is figured out what really bothered them, for my first it was being removed from the situation (he hated being ousted), my second, I had two choices, I took his favorite truck or set him on the naughty chair, and my third all we have to do is dote over the one that got hit (she always wants all the attention, it drives her crazy). The most important thing is to do is choose something and stick to it, don't change it up. My guess is a naughty chair or corner/couch or something will work best. You don't talk to them, look at them, nothing. They will get up 500 times, but don't talk or look at him, just put him back. Now this concept works both ways, you can do a treat bowl too. I always found that just the punishment for bad behavior isn't the only thing you should do, reward them for when they don't hit as well. Let him know that if he doesn't hit he will get to choose something from the reward bowl. He'll love it. Even at one they get the concept.

Good luck, I know what a pain the hitting thing can be (literally).

A stern face, a sharp no, and time...it is just one more phase.

try telling him what you WANT him to do, rather than NOT do. Tell him "We are gentle. Let me show you. This is how we touch." Use positive reinforcement when you see him touching gently. Dr. Becky Bailey Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline has a lot of great tips. Have you heard of Parents as Teachers? We have an educator that comes out to our home and does screenings and offers advice on all kinds of things. Our educator said young children focus on the last word you say. Dont' hit! The child hears HIT! Unfortunately, this is probably the tip of the iceberg. My daughter occasionally hits or pinches when she gets frustrated and she is almost two. She is also prone to tantrums which frustrate me to no end. I have had a lot of success with redirection and focusing on the behavior we want rather than don't want. Sounds simple, but it is a lot of work. Good luck!

I think it seems a bit nutty to tell a child not to hit while hitting them, pretty confusing message to send a developing mind.
You could try the "You hit you sit" method. It requires an ever present caretaker being mindful. Whenever he hits someone else, gently take his arms down to his body and put him in a sitting position, saying "You hit, you sit!" This breaks the flow of energy, then promptly talk about how "we don't hit our friends, we use gentle hands all the time" (guiding him as to what gentle hands look & feel like). If there's an issue with frustration, offer options to get rid of that frustration, like clapping hands, stomping feet, and also phrases, naming the emotion, thereby helping him workout why he's feeling the way he is.
Good job mommin'!