Hitting - Brooklyn,NY

I have to be honest - however much I hate the idea of any type of physical punishment, this is the one situation where I finally had to hit back. Mine picked it up somewhere before 2 and the situation continued for about 10 months. I have no idea where he learned to hit - this was well before nursery school. I tried everything - timeouts (which he hated but he always sat out his time), taking away toys, redirecting, telling him how much it hurt Mommy, yelling. Nothing worked and this kid could hit HARD. The only silver lining to the situation was that he almost never hit other kids - only Mommy.

Soooo, one day I finally had it after he slapped me very hard in the face and I slapped him back - not nearly so hard as he hit me, but enough to shock him. I guess I wanted to let him know what it felt like, because I honestly think he had no idea.

That did not put an immediate end to the problem and I had to repeat it one or two more times, reinforced by timeouts, but it was very shortly thereafter that he stopped hitting. Since then (my son's almost 5 now) I can count on my one hand the number of times he has hit. Occasionally, he has put his hand out as if to hit, but stops himself.

I really don't like recommending this method, but if nothing else works you might have to try it. Personally, I've never had to physically punish him since that time and he responds quite well to timeouts.

Stay on top of it and stay consistent. It's better to nip it sooner rather than later. Good luck!

If you are smacking his hands, he is mimicking your behavior. The only way to get him to stop this behavior is if you change yours.

I get my way with my daughter by saying with a smile "Can I have that please?", "Thank you for giving it to me", then I give it right back and repeat until it becomes a game that warrants positive behavior on both parts.

If it's something i do not want to give back, I replace it with something I want her to have instead.

I can't say that I agree with the advice of saying "No hitting!" and then swatting him on the bottom. Don't hit, so I'll hit you? When my kids were toddlers, if they habitually did something wrong, I'd say "No hitting" (or whatever) very firmly and then march them right to the time out chair looking at the wall for a minute or two. Good luck! He really is just frustrated because he has so little control over things in his life, like having things taken away from him.

I feel for you. I am dealing with this with my 18-month-old son. I don't recall it being such a problem with my daughters, but my son hits, bites and pulls hair when he is mad or overwhelmed. My husband wants to swat his hand, but I don't like the idea of using physical punishment to discourage a similar physical behavior. We have tried time-outs, but he doesn't stay put so tomorrow we are setting our pack-n-play up downstairs and using that solely for time out. I don't like using the crib as punishment since I want him to associate the crib as a happy, safe place so he sleeps well.
Good luck!