Hi,
I have a 2 1/2 yr old that has been going to the same daycare for about a 1 1/2 yrs now. He always fussed a little bit whenever I dropped him off at school in the am but now it seems to have gotten really bad. He tells me he is scared and just bawls. He grabs on to my shirt and refuses to let go. His teachers tell me to just drop him off and leave but that seems to upset him even more. Is this just a phase? I certainly want him to be happy while he is at school but I am starting to wonder if its something at school thats upsetting him so much. Any advice would help?
I am a full time working mom and I do work from home. Should I consider a nanny at this stage?
If he is suddenly not happy at daycare, I would look into it. Not all serious issues at daycares get reported...so sometimes you have to do the best research youself by popping in unexpectedly and by talking to other parents as much as you can.
Sorry to hear your little one is having a rough time. :(
Has he had a change in teachers since he's been there? Has he had to change rooms at all?
If he was fine before and now all of a sudden doesn't want to go this is a big red flag! You need to start asking questions and do not be afraid to do so. Find out if he got into trouble or was scolded for something...that could cause any child to fear going back if their teacher showed an ugly side. Check and see if another child is bullying him too. Honestly something has truly scared him and needs to be dealt with.
Start asking questions today and if you do not get any answers or just an "I dont know" then do not hesitate to pull him out of there. If he has been going to this school for over a year then his teachers know him and should be able to offer you insight on this sudden change of behavior. If they can't, then that is another red flag and it's time to look for a new provider for your precious boy.
I'm so sorry this is going on, I really hope it turns out to be something minor!!!
I would make several 'surprise' visits to his school. Are you able to observe him without him seeing you? Make it known to not only the teacher but to the staff that you are very concerned about your child's reaction. Don't let them tell you it's just seperation anxiety- your child is telling you otherwise.
I would listen to your child. If your child is scared, it is for a reason. I would start looking for alternative daycare. It is not normal for them to all of a sudden just start disliking school for no reason.
that would cause my warning bells to go off.
I have a 2.5 year old who just started a new school and even though he still whines a bit during pick up and drop off (it's only been 2 weeks), he still looks forward to going and tells me he wants to go to school on the weekends.
in your situation, I would think there's gotta be a reason for his reaction...
check it out thoroughly.
I absolutely agree that this needs to be looked into. When I was little(about 3), my mom was sending me to a private daycare. I went for a bit but then started screaming hysterically every time she'd drop me off. This is straight from my mom, because I don't remember any of it, but my mom talked to them and they claimed all was fine, just drop me off and go. She'd also popped in once with no notice and was chastised and told she needed to call first (Hello warning bells!!!).
Almost immediately after that she pulled me out of there. Later there were reports that the people running the daycare had been locking kids in closets as well as other abusive behaviors. I found out later that my brother's girlfriend(ex-gf now) had been to the same daycare when she was little. She got silly one day and poured her koolaid into her chicken noodle soup they had for lunch. The adults there MADE her sit there and eat every bit of it.If anything happened to me while I was there, I don't remember, but I am quite claustrophobic and have been since I was very little. Not sure if it may stem from something there or not.
Granted, that was a long time ago and before many regulations they have now. I honestly don't mean to scare you in any way, but I would definitely dig into this with both feet and see what's going on. Good luck. :)
I'm with Alexis on this one. Your child has been at the same daycare for some time, so for her to all of a sudden not want to be there, something is wrong. It may be teachers, it may be another child...but something is wrong. I've had HORRIBLE experiences with daycares, so drastic that one particular daycare didn't feel the need to tell my my daughter drank 3/4 of a bottle of Benedryl until 4 days after the incident.
While a nanny may take away quite a bit of your concern through the day, I'm a firm believer that daycare gives our kids social skills that they just can't learn at home. My son threw fits when we started taking him to daycare after spending the first 2.5 yrs of his life at home with either mommy or daddy. But he got used to it. I would be concerned if things took a turn for the worse as in your situation. The beautiful thing is you have access to all complaints or citations filed re: the daycare. Here's a link to my son's daycare for example:
http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/Child_Care/Search_Texas_Child...
Good luck to you.
I was in your same shoes about 3 months ago. I also work from home full-time and take my daughter to preschool. She was going to the same preschool for almost 2 years and all of a sudden started crying everyday when I would drop her off. She would tell me she did not want to go and would start crying as soon as we pulled up. I would love to keep her here with me while I am working, but I do not get any work done when she is here. So I ended up visiting, what seemed like a million preschools, and I started her in a new school. She cried for the first 2 weeks and now she loves going. You have to go with your gut and what your son is telling you. They are so much smarter then we think. Good luck and let me know if you have any questions.
At 2.5, drop-offs became incredibly easy for my previously clingy daughter, so it seems odd they'd get harder for your son. I'd ask some of the other parents if they're having trouble dropping their children off, or if they've noticed a change in their children. I know that my daughter had two teachers in that room, one of whom was quite nurturing, one of whom was not. There were a few kids that didn't like to be in the room with the second teacher in the morning. She wasn't mean or cruel, she just wasn't a big softie. As the kids got older, they were fine with her, and I saw value in her more structured approach. But it was hard for some kids to get used to. So, ask other parents if they've noticed any issues. If they have, talk to the director about it.
I have not ever had a child in daycare, but my daughter does go to preschool she just turned 2. I don't have any problems dropping her off on the first day she told me bye mom I love you. So I would think that his reaction is for a reason. First ask yourself why would he is he so upset??? There is a reason maybe you should not only drop in for suprise visits, but sit down and talk with the director. Voice your concerns and see if you both cannot figure out what is going on. What does your gut feeling tell you? If you think something is not right then trust yourself change daycares plus he might need a new enviroment. I am really sorry you and your son are having to go through this please keep us posted.
