Help! Just Had a Baby and My 18 Month Old Is the One on a Sleeping Strike!

Updated on January 07, 2010
L.H. asks from Carlsbad, CA
7 answers

Just had a baby on the 30th of December. My 18 month old loves her and we have showered her with attention. Almost more than the newborn. My daughter who is normally a champion of sleepers has gone on a sleeping strike! She stands in the crib sucking her thumb and will not go to sleep. She is not even crying, just stands there. She has done it for her past few naps (2 hours in length) just standing sucking her thumb. She has done it in the middle of the night for up to 3 hours. When I finally went in and tried to get her to lay down, she would not. She is doing it again. We have been doing a lot of activities to try and tier her out, but it has not helped. This is absolutely the most heart wrenching thing! Pllease help with any advice!

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

It has not been very long, since the new baby come home.
Kids need time to adjust.
HER life has changed, she is curious, she is excited, she is wondering, her brain is on overdrive thinking, she does not want to miss out on anything going on, she has "emotions" for which a child this age CANNOT understand and, developmentally, a child's emotions are not even fully-developed yet nor their capacity to "cope" with it.

LOTS of things on her plate and upon her shoulders and in her life... So, this is naturally hard for her and a transition to a "different" life for her.

Patience. She is still adjusting to it all. Life is not the same for her. BUT... keep to regularity and consistency in HER routines and habits... a child needs that. She is not being "naughty" on purpose... a child this age needs help to cope with it all. They don't know how, on their own.

Its okay. She will adapt in time.

ALSO though, over-stimulation and getting a kid over-tired can back-fire. Over-tired kids actually have a HARDER time falling asleep and they wake more. Same for over-stimulated kids before bed or nap. ALLOW her to "wind-down" before nap or bedtime. Even up to 1 hour beforehand. Incorporate a "wind-down" time INTO your regular pre-nap or pre-bedtime routine. And make that time a "quiet time"... not a hyper active time. She obviously NEEDS more time to wind-down.
My kids, would NEVER be able to sleep when my Husband would horse-play with them prior to bed. It just got them ALL hyper and wound-up and NOT "able" to sleep... when I had previously managed to get them "quiet" and simmered down. Finally, my Husband realized that. He thought, that getting them all active and tired right before bed, would make them sleep. Nope.
Kids NEED NEED NEED a time to wind-down prior to naps or bed.

All the best,
susan

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J.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think this is normal, at least it was for us. They are just too excited to sleep at this age. They are learning and growing so much they don't want to take a break. We have to just let our dd stay in there and chat away, not much more you can do, you can't force them to sleep. Just make sure you have a routine of putting her down and don't falter. Unfortunately, I would love to say it will pass soon, but my dd still does this. Every nap time is a struggle and she is now 2 years and a month old! Maybe I am the wrong person for advice. LOL I don't know what we can do any different. They also say the smarter the child the less they want to sleep. : ) There brains are just going too much to sleep! Hope it gets better, hang in there. I am actually curious to read responses to this. Thanks for posting.

L.W.

answers from Alexandria on

Well all i can say if the baby sleeps in another room maybe she worries about the new one you know trys to listen in makin sure the baby is ok you never know with lil ones

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S.Z.

answers from Reno on

Even though she loves the baby, she's very aware that everything is different, and that your time and attention will always be divided. (My oldest two are 13 months apart, and my oldest adored the baby, was never angry or defiant, but broke out in a head to toe rash when her sister came home.) Her normal fear that you will be doing something fun that she'll miss out on while she's sleeping (the reason all kids avoid naps) is mulitplied by the fear that the fun will include the baby, not her. If you keep checking on her, that's a bonus for her, making her feel she's the center of your attention. Plus, she's sort of keeping watch, wanting to be prepared, should circumstances change again. Since she's not crying, not yelling, just watching, it's actually helping her deal with the changes in her life. She's thinking and processing. I wouldn't worry. She's found a coping mechanism that works for her. Cut down on the amount of time you check on her, and make sure any checking is a simple peek in the door, no talking, and she'll be fine.

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J.K.

answers from Cleveland on

If she's not crying, don't sweat it! Just leave her in there for some quiet time! She'll get back to normal in a while. She probably just thinks you and the baby are having a party outside the room without her! :) Right now she knows you'll come in if she stands...so just let her know it's absolutely fine if she wants to stand, but that mommy isn't coming in until naptime (2hrs) is over (or morning). Kiss Kiss, Night Night!

PS-Congrats on the new one! :)

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B.S.

answers from Honolulu on

Buy a copy of 'Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child', it's an awesome book, that you'll want to have in your personal reference library.

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F.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

you might be overdoing it. Sounds like she might actually be too stimulated with all the attention, activities and new-born in the house. Try to dial it down and create more calm. She may just be too hyped.

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