Head Banging Baby!

Updated on October 15, 2008
J.J. asks from Livermore, CA
17 answers

My 19 month old boy bngs his head on the ground, or hits himself on the head with his bottle, sippy cup, toy, etc. when he is angry, frustrated or in a bad mood. I've been told this is a phase and to distract him, but I'm worried. He's been doing it for about 4 months now. Any suggestions?

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So What Happened?

Thank you so much for all of the reassuring e-mails! I have been ignoring the banging and diverting his attention with changing rooms, starting to play with a toy or preparing food or a bottle and it has helped! He is still doing it when he is really tired, but only a few times! I think we're on to something here! I have an apponitment with his Dr., too, just in case of Autism (I origianally thought this was possible because of the Autistic students that I work with, but he doesn't show any other signs). Have a good day and hug your child!

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E.J.

answers from San Francisco on

My oldest son did the same--against the wall or the floor. All the photos of him from around that age are with a big bruise in the middle of his forehead. It was definitely a phase, one day he just stopped. And whenever he started I'd just walk away. He'd come find me and I'd try to give him words for what he was feeling. Do your best, it will pass!

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H.C.

answers from Sacramento on

My step son did the same thing as a toddler. his pediatrician said it was mainly for attention and a phase. He said the more we try to get him to stop the more likely he'll continue to do it. He basically said to put a helmet on him and let him have at it. Well, we started walking away from those tantrums and he did eventually stop. When I had him I would make sure there was nothing around him that he could get hurt on and then I would walk out of the room. It was hard at first because I was worried about him, but once he learned that he didn't get a reaction or attention from that behavior he stopped. Not all at once of course but he did stop. Now he just screams when he's mad but i've learned to walk away from that also.

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M.W.

answers from Redding on

Hi J.,

My son is 23 months now and also bangs his head. He also started when he was just 17 or 18 months old. I can totally relate to your concerns.
We asked our peditrition about it and he said that it was a phase and to try to redirect him. He suggested that we look for triggers like tiredness, not feeling well, etc. and to try to defuse the situation before he starts. He suggested that it may be a sign of intelligence not to worry.(Just keep telling your self that he will be a Doctor..ha ha)
He also said that it may be his way of communication because he doesn't quite have the vocabualry it takes to communicate his needs and it is just his way of expressing himself. He told us that some kids just do it to comfort themselves.
It may sound a bit funny but my husband and I have encouraged our son to stomp his little foot and say boogers. This way he is still able to express frustration but doesn't hurt his head. It seems to be working, not as many bumps on the head.
You may have a better word for your son to say though.
Good Luck

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G.A.

answers from San Francisco on

My daughter did the same things. She is now 28m old and occsionally still bangs her head. At the height of it, she would bang her head on anything and everything - concrete, walls, shopping cart handles (still does this one), store floors, the truck, etc. I noticed that since she can now communicate better, most of the banging has stopped. I think its just a phase of frustration because they can't communicate that well yet. I let her bang away unless I felt it was too dangerous of a surface. It will pass and yes, it is very frustrating to watch.
G. A.

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S.M.

answers from Fresno on

My son was a headbanger too, he did it so much that he developed a calcium deposit there and had a permanent bump. The headbanging was something that I talked to the pediatrician about to make sure that it was normal and with him it was just a phase, it lasted about 5-6 months (I think he was younger, closer to a year old when he started it). I would talk to your doctor just to make sure it is just a phase and not linked to something else. I agree with the other advice, we ignored the behaviour, also the advice about talking to him about his feelings and other ways to express them besides banging his head.

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V.W.

answers from San Francisco on

J.,

It is a phase and thankfully it will just go away. They are too young to learn that hitting themselves hurts (or doing very similar things will hurt). My son also noticed his actions upset us and sometimes would continue hitting himself to get a reaction from us. Just try to distract your child right away and keep on trying to keep really hard or heavy things away from him, as surely you've already been doing. Good luck!

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W.S.

answers from Stockton on

Hi,

Two things came to mind when I read this: first, it may be perfectly normal, second, keep an eye on other possible delays or problems he may have and speak with your doctor soon. I am a mom of a 21 month old, and a 4 month old, but I am also a behavior consultant for children with autism. I say that it may be normal because my older daughter head-banged when she was about 13 months old and freaked me out! I knew it was normal for some children to display any of the behaviors of autism that I see at various ages of their development. However, I was not sure what was normal and cause for concern. I jumped on the internet and discovered it is normal to certain ages as they are learning how to communicate and deal with anger/frustration/sadness and so on.
I was still worried, and kept an eye on any other autistic like symptoms (none ever presented themselves for my daughter). Realizing that some behaviors are maintained by our reaction to them, I tried very hard not to react to her headbanging, except to move her to a safe spot, and try to help her express her feelings verbally before she engaged in headbanging. It worked for her, and she did stop headbanging after less than 1 month.
I do not want to scare you by mentioning the disorder, autism, however, if you have had any other concerns about your son's milestones or development you should speak with your doctor and do some research on the issue rather then ignoring your gut feeling.

Good luck to you and your son!

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

Dear J.,
My darling little Angel, (yes, that's really her name), was a head banger too. She had a favorite spot. The hard tiles in front of the hearth. She would knock a huge lumpy bruise on her head.
I tried soothing her, redirecting her, ignoring her.
One day I calmly walked over, popped her right on the butt on her diaper, stood her up on her feet and told her NO! She was stunned. She didn't even cry. I got a book and sat down in the rocking chair.
She did try it again a few days later, but I did the exact same thing and her head banging days were over.
I do not believe in hitting children, but if you cup your hand just right, a pop on the diaper sounds much louder than it is. She was busy banging her head and didn't expect a swat on the other end of her.
I just couldn't take her banging her skull anymore and people asking me just exactly what happened to her head.
My son never banged his head, but for some reason, lots of kids do it.
My daughter is 22 and beautiful. And she has a perfectly normally shaped forehead.
Your little guy will get over it too.

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D.K.

answers from San Francisco on

It's normal. Don't worry about brain damage. Kids are going to stop because it hurts long before brain damage occurs - it's not the same as someone shaking them or hitting their head against a wall or other object. My mother says i banged my head at about that age. I would bang my head on the concreete driveway and the redwood post when I was frustrated. Usually the language skills are not there to articulate the frustration. I turned out fine. I even went to grad school and currently have a good job. Don't worry!

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C.F.

answers from San Francisco on

Try giving him a pillow to hit instead. You might say things like, "You're frustrated" or "You're feeling angry" and hit a pillow as you say them. This might re-direct the behavior. I'm sure it will pass, but I can imagine it worries you. Take care & good luck! C.

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M.R.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi, J.!
Such a behavior is usually a temporary problem. Usually at this age kids act like that (or do something else) if someone can see them and if they get reaction from this person. They are big actors and try to get your attention. If he does not have an "audience" he would not do anything like that. I would just wait and try not to pay any attention when he is in his "head-banging" mood. Just act as if he is not in the room. Do not try to distract him - this does not work, at least, not for my two kids and my friends' ones.
However if he hurts himself or hits himself even if he thinks that noone can see him, it would be reasonable to see a doctor.
Good luck,
M.

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H.R.

answers from Bakersfield on

If he's just hitting himself with objects, I wouldn't worry too much, but if he's head-banging on the walls, floors, tables, or other hard objects, he could do brain damage and it could be due to neurological pathway differences, such as in Autism. Head-banging is just one of the symptoms of Autism. I suggest going to your pediatrician and Superintendent of Schools for a complete neurological evaluation. Be sure to mention the possibility of Autism! Sometimes pediatricians don't think of it until parents mention it! Follow your gut instinct despite what doctors may say!!! They often discount mothers' concerns, even if they (mothers) are professionals. Early diagnosis is CRITICAL for a positive outcome. My 35 yr. old son has it, and although he didn't get a definitive diagnosis until he was 13, due to being fairly moderate- to high-functioning, he did receive special education all the way through school to treat his symptoms, which was critical to his progress. He is now going to Bakersfield College, taking a course for a certificate in Computer Business Systems, with help from the Disabilities Services Office there.
Contact the autismsocietyofamerica.org website for more information on Autism. There are many other organizations for parent support, too. In Bakersfield, we have the Kern Regional Center for the Developmentally Disabled, which does free testing, Kern Autism Network, Hearts Connection, and others that put on workshops and conferences to provide parents with information to help them.

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N.A.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi J.,

It is more common then you think in children. I would like to ask you a question. How does your baby sleep? They say 1 out of three children have sleep depervation. I was one of them and I used to do the same thing as a child. I am a wellness consultant and I hear this a lot. I now sleep on a magnetic pad and have my granddaughter on one also and she sleeps better and does not have the attitude when she wakes up.

If you would like more info email me and I will send it to you.

Have a great evening.

N. Marie
____@____.com

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J.H.

answers from Sacramento on

I had a head banger as well. My son wasn't talking as much as I expected, I believe he was banging his head in frustration. My son would walk from the carpeted area to the tile and pound his head until it was bruised- he looked like a Klingon from Star Trek. I took him to our doctor who referred us to Alta Regional for assessment (the Early Intervention program).
When the Alta team came out to assess him, he was found to be expressive speech delayed. By this time my son was 26 months old and was testing on the 10-12 month range. Alta Regional provided an in- home weekly speech therapist until he turned 3, now we receive services through the school district. Our speech therapist seemed to flip his talk switch simultaneously working with my husband and I to help us learn how to help him. Now we are now looking at cutting back the weekly speech therapy. On occasion my son will still bang (when he is tired or hungry) but nothing like a year ago and certainly not to the extent he was previously. I am thrilled with his progress! Alta Regional can provide assessment and then discuss if your son qualifies for services. Good luck!

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G.D.

answers from Modesto on

I would call the regional center and have your child checked... it is free, all you do is call and tell them what you see and how it is affecting your child... it may be nothing, but is is always good to have a professional in development come and see your child and assure you, that there is nothing to worry about...

Love, G.. :0)
http://stemcellforautism.blogspot.com/

"I know of nobody who is purely Autistic or purely neurotypical. Even God had some Autistic moments, which is why the planets all spin." ~ Jerry Newport

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A.P.

answers from San Francisco on

I had the same problem with my son as a baby. Everytime he would get angry he would bang his head hard on the floor (we have hard wood too!) I was so worried that he would seriously injure himself. I told his pediatrician about it and they told me to ignore him. Completely ignore his actions when he would bang his head. It was very difficult for me to do, because I was scared he would hurt himself. We totally ignored him when he did and it worked. Eventually he just stopped all together with it. I hope it helps!

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C.M.

answers from Chico on

It could just be a phase, but if you are worried, I would take him in to be checked out. I don't want to worry you, but my nephew, who has Asperger's (high functioning autism) used to do that when he was little and it is scary. Take care.

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