Have You Ever Issued a Consequence You Regret?

OMG, yes. I just go back to him and say I think I was wrong and over reacted and explain why and give the more fitting punishment or lessen the original punishment but still there is some consequence. I usually threaten to take away video games for a month.

I have almost never done this, but only because something my son's pediatrician said to me when he was very, very small. He told me to always make sure when I'm punishing my kids that I'm not also punishing myself in the process. Example: it's been crappy weather for days & days, today is the first sunny day. You tell your kids if they don't (fill in the blank) then we're not going to the park this afternoon. Well, you know damn well that YOU desperately want to get out of the house today, too, so you'll be taking them to the park no matter what, or if you don't, everyone will be miserable. That's one of those early on lessons that just stuck with me & I'm awfully thankful that it did!!

stick to your guns. you must have has a reason for saying what you did.

You'd think that I'd learn: Sometimes when the kids aren't doing what they need to do getting ready for bed, I threaten to take away bedtime stories. First of all, I like reading them stories. Second of all, reading is important! Third of all, do I really want to send them to bed crying because they didn't get stories? And yet, at that time of night, I sometimes feel like I have no other options.

If I issue a consequence that I regret, sometimes I give them the opportunity to "earn back" the lost thing. Of course, if they can't earn it back, I'm stuck carrying out the consequence.

Lately I've taken to saying "if you don't do X by the count of 3, you're in trouble!" That buys me a little extra time to think of what I actually want to do!

I have done that before. If it was a cleaning your room kind of situation I would calm down a little then go back and talk about what we can do so she can get the sleepover back. Its all good when everyone calms down

I try to match the punishment to the crime, and even if I think I'm wrong, I stick to my guns so my kids know I mean business. There have been only a couple of times when I know I was too harsh... one being recently. I told my girls that they had to finish their homework before we went over to their friends house. My 7 year old took her sweet time, playing with the fish, talking, singing, getting up a million times to get water or use the bathroom... I finally set the timer to an unreasonable time (I think I gave her 5 minutes) to finish her work or else she was sitting next to me the entire time we were at her friends house. Sure enough, she sat there and threw a tantrum instead of buckling down and doing her work, so she sat next to me at the friends house. I think it hurt her friend and her sister more than it hurt her... And I think it hurt me to see those 3 little sad faces more than anything else! I brought her homework with us, and after she finished it, I reluctantly let her go play because I couldn't stand the 3 pairs of puppy dog eye's and the questioning anymore... 'why can't she play?'... 'can she play now?'... 'if we watch the baby can she play?'...

I did have the issue once with exactly your example, cleaning the room. I regretted my thread but I felt that I could not back down. So I ended up taking 15 minutes out of my day and helping him by supervising and telling him what to do. I think the problem with cleaning up sometimes is that if the mess is too bad, it seems overwhelming for them. Teaching them that breaking down the big job into many small ones will help. I just told him "first, put all the cars in the car box". Once he was done I went on "now you put the stuffed animals in the box", etc. We were done in about 15 minutes.

i take things back all the time. it's called grace. as long as we also offer truth to balance it out, everything should work out nicely in the world of parenting.

After a really rough morning filled with blatant rule breaking, many time-outs and loss of privileges, I told one of my daycare 3 year olds as I tucked him in for nap that if he didn't behave at nap, he couldn't have special treats for snack. See, it was his birthday that weekend and I told him I was going to pick-up special treats for afternoon snack while they were napping. Sure enough, not only did I get the report that he didn't nap, but he was talking and generally messing around the whole time. I felt so badly about it, but stuck to my words and he had pretzels while everyone else had cupcakes for snack. It didn't phase him, but I felt like a giant meanie.

Yes and then made the mistake of saying he could earn it back by ... There for a while every time I gave a consequence, I would have to explain over and over why he couldn't earn it back. It was a big pain in the butt!! I try to give logical consequences without going overboard and tell the kids upfront, there is no earning it back!!

I've learned to really think through my ultimatums. I used to do what you talk about all the time. I'm sort of a soft heart so in your situation I'd help your daughter clean her room--make sure she is involved the whole time, but do it together. Then let her have the sleepover.

Down the road don't give a threat unless you will follow through.

I am the Girl Scout Daisy troop leader...my almost 6 year has had this terrible attitude problem the last few months. Our meetings are on Monday evenings and the Friday night before one of our meetings I had had it. Her constant crying, "I'm not doing this, that" and her smart butt...I said "you're not going to Girl Scouts on Monday"...the moment it left my mouth I wished I could take it back.

The rest of the weekend she was very well behaved no attitude, no crying. Monday morning as I left for work, I said "I'll see you tonight"...she never asked never said anything about GS. I came home picked up the stuff for the meeting and looked at her...she did not have on her vest, and not expecting to go. She knew! At that moment I realized she had learned her lesson. So I said "if you hurry and get your stuff you may go with me"...I went home with every intention of sticking to my guns.

She was so happy and so was I. However, had she kept up with her attitude no way would I have changed my mind.

Meanwhile at the meeting a few of the girls are in her kindergarten class and the moms came over and said "I'm surprised ___name of girl____said Syd is not going to be there tonight she got in big trouble"...the other moms said "what a great idea"...

Yes I do this all of the time and I also issue a "if...then" and then think "Omg I pray they actually do what I am asking" because I threaten things that I would never really be able to "take away." For instance, last week my son was lagging BIG time cleaning up his room and after me telling him 5 times to keep cleaning I told him, "If you don't have this clean in 10 minutes then I am cancelling your birthday party." OBVIOUSLY I couldn't or wouldn't cancel the party but I tend to spout out harsh stuff like that when I feel like they are not listening or focusing on what they are supposed to do. Not the best thing to do and I know as they get older they will see right through it so I need to stop

Been there, done that. And yes, I think you have to stick to your guns, but what I did do is make sure my child succeeded. In other words, if she made a good effort to start cleaning the room, but got tired, I would help.

Yup, I did that once. My son is a terrible eater. I was having an awful day and he just wouldn't eat his dinner. I told him if he didn't finish his dinner he had to sit on the couch for the rest of the night - no toys, no books, no TV, nothing. As soon as I said it I regretted it, but I stuck to my guns. Bedtime was 45 minutes earlier that night...but he didn't know that ;-)