Going Out of Town, Should I Leave My Baby or Take Him?

Updated on May 24, 2008
A.W. asks from Houston, TX
78 answers

My cousin invited me & my son (10 mos) to go to a resort for Memorial Day weekend. Some other friends are going & it sounds like fun! My mother-in-law offered to keep my son for me so that I could have some R&R. It is SO sweet of her to offer. I don't know if I am ready to leave him, but more importantly, I don't know if he's still too young to be away from me. He is no longer breastfeeding. I feel like I'm being selfish for even considering it! My husband is out of the country on business for 2 weeks & he says I should go & have a good time & leave our son with his mom. Should I take him with me? Or should I leave him with my MIL? When did you leave your child for the first time?

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So What Happened?

First and foremost, thank you all for your advice! I felt like I got a pep talk from friends I didn't know I had! I decided after the overwhelming response from all of you to take the trip without my son. I had a great time! I missed him, of course, but it was very relaxing. I had a spa day & spent the rest of the time by the pool. It was a beautiful resort in the hill country & I enjoyed every minute of it. I'm glad that I let myself go & relax. I'm also glad that my MIL got to have time with her grandson. She took him for a play date with one of her friends who has a grandson my son's age & took him swimming. They had a full & fun weekend. When I came home, my son smiled & was excited to see me. It was like we didn't miss a beat. I brought him a new toy & he loved it. I also got my MIL a thank you gift & a shirt for my husband. He's coming home from his business trip tomorrow. Also, I met a couple of other mom's there that I really like, one of which happens to live in my neighborhood. I now know that part of being a good mother is taking time for yourself & taking care of yourself helps you take care of your children. Thanks again for helping me to be the best mom I can be! xoxoxoxoxo

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J.R.

answers from Austin on

Leave! Take advatage of the opportunity - it will be good to miss eachother for awhile. I left my two children when the youngest was 4 months. We left the boys with grandma and went to Jamaica for 7 days. By the 5th day we were trying to get a flight home early because we missed them so badly.

A weekend away will do you wonders. You are not being selfish - we all need a break, and when you come back you will be a more patient mother for doing it.
Have FUN!

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N.A.

answers from Houston on

I went thru that the first time I left my child over night. Realazation is that it is going to have to happen some time. You concerns as for leaving the babu is 1) is her house baby proof? 2) is there a crib for him to sleep in? Having a little bit of me time is actually good for both of you and 10 months I think is the perfect age! Good Luck!

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C.B.

answers from College Station on

there are many good responses here, and i did read them all. the main things i think should be considered are
a) do you have enough time before the trip to do an overnighter at MIL's, when you are a phone call away?
b) MIL will respond to every wet diaper, coo and spit up as fast or faster than you. she will be hyper-aware with a baby around, especially if it has been awhile for her.
c) after you worry all night, then sleep uninterrupted, you will wake up and see how much you need (deserve) a break.

have fun, don't forget- sunblock and camera batteries!!

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A.N.

answers from Austin on

A. - Take two things into consideration - Do you feel your little guy is ready for this? And, how is he with your MIL?

If both of these answers are positive, then do a trial run - take him to her for an over-nighter if possible and see how it goes - it will tell you lots, and tell him that you are coming back - he'll see how that all works!

Alli

1 mom found this helpful
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W.W.

answers from Houston on

Hi A.,
It is so tempting to go. I did the same thing when my first child was the exact same age. I went on a cruise with my twin sister. I was 5 months pregnant and thought it would be my last break for a long time. My husband took my son to stay with his parents while I was away.
In hind site I would not go away and leave him at such a young age, but I am sure he willbe happy, and well looked after.
Kind regards,

W.

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F.G.

answers from Austin on

I know this is gonna sound crazy, but leave him!! Go remember what it is like to just be you! You deserve it! He will be fine! My husband and I didn't even go on a date for the first 5 months after our first daughter was born, and it was SO hard because I was so worried. Then when we did go, I realized how silly we had been to wait so long. When our second daughter was born, we went out that first weekend. We just went to a cafe for an hour, but it helped so much. My point is, I think when you take time for yourself, you are able to be a much better mommy! I'm kind of jealous of you for getting to go! Take the opportunities you get handed! You should go for all us moms that can't! Have a good time, and don't worry about him. The only thing you should worry about is how much grandma is gonna spoil him while you're gone! Have fun!

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B.D.

answers from San Antonio on

If you're comfortable with your MIL, I say "go for it". You deserve some R&R. I left my son for the first time, just one night, at 7 months, with my sister. It was hard. I called several times to check in. But we all survived it. The second time we left him was at 1 yr, for the whole weekend, with my mother. I didn't worry one bit that time!

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C.C.

answers from El Paso on

Oh, PLEASE! Go have a great time and let Grandma spoil the baby!

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S.P.

answers from Austin on

I think it depends a lot on how familiar your son is with his grandma. Does he spend a lot of time with her and is her home a familiar, kid-friendly place for him? Has he stayed the night there before? Have you left your son with her for the day or a long evening?

Is your son an easy-going baby that is relaxed when you are not in the room?

I think the R&R would do you a lot of good and it probably will affect you more than your son to be away from each other. I do not think 10months old is too young if your son is relaxed when not 'attached' to you.

On the other hand, the weekend may not be that relaxing if everyone else has their kids with them...would you wind up playing 'babysitter' since you would be the only one without kids for the weekend?

Anyway, one of my best friends in the world left her son who was just under a year old for about 4 days and it did her so much good. She reconnected with old friends and got to just be herself, not mama, for a little while. It did her heart so much good and her son was just fine without her. He missed her but did not freak out either.

I am not an expert but I think it is better to take a break NOW as after a year old, most kids seem to go through an intense separation anxiety thing that lasts through their early toddler years.

I understand your dilemma, but don't feel guilty! :-)
S.

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N.G.

answers from San Antonio on

I think it's a perfect time to have some R&R. You have him 24/7 you need to be healthy and stress free in order to be a good mommy. If you feel safe leaving him with your MIL then I say take this golden and rare opportunity to relax. Don't feel guilty 99.9% of the time you are "it". You feed, bathe, play, and most of all love him. You shouldn't feel guilty chances are if your husband was in your situation he'd take the trip in a second. I say go for it and have fun!

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K.K.

answers from Killeen on

go with your instincts...but the sooner you are able to leave him over night with relatives and it's successful, the lerss likely he will be to develop stranger anxiety later... my oldest spent one or two nights with family as young as 8 mos due to my work sched when i was a single mom...she never had stranger anxiety...i have been a sahm with my twins and they didn't get the same experience as my oldest and they had lots of stranger anxiety around 15 mos...

Good Luck.. ;-)

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R.J.

answers from Houston on

Your son would probably be unhappy staying in a strange place. Babies are creatures of habit. Your mother in law will be able to keep him to his schedule better than you can in a resort.

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M.G.

answers from Austin on

A.,
Go have fun with your friends. You deserve it, after all the nine months of carrying a child and delivering. There is no one better than your mother in law to take care of your child. This will give your mother in law a chance to bond with her grandchild.

Have a great time!
M. Gonzalez
Brownsville, Texas

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M.R.

answers from Houston on

I am a mother of 5 children, guilt to leave them is NORMAL, but you need to let your MIL keep him and go and have a wonderful time. We all need some time to ourselves and it is good for the children to miss you too! It will make you and your child both feel grateful to have one another. Plus, he is young enough that it really is more to you than to him. You need to take the time to enjoy your life. An opportunity such as this one doesn't happen often. Go and enjoy your weekend and come home refreshed and ready to devote your love to him again!! Plus, MIL will have a good time too!! Email me personally if you have any questions:

[email protected]____.com

M.
Mom to Brittany & Brianna (11) Charity (6) Luke & Trinity (3)

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J.A.

answers from San Antonio on

Oh ...go and have a good time. We all need breaks once in a while. If your comfortable with you MIL and she is fully capable of taking care of your baby, then go for it. I would if I could. Unfortunately my MIL and mother are not in good health and can not care for my 2 year old. Ive never left him any where. :( Im soooooo tired...LOL. So GO!! The opportunity may never arise again. And I bet youll have a great weekend.

Have fun and let us know how it went.

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K.W.

answers from Corpus Christi on

Leave him with grandma and go have a great time with your friends. He will get some bonding time with his grandparents and you will get some well deserved R&R. There is nothing wrong with leaving your baby with trusted relatives, my son isn't even born yet and I've already made plans for my mom to keep him for a week in the fall of 2009 when my husband and I take a long motorcycle trip :)

I think if you keep in mind that other people are capable of caring for your child, then it will be easier for you to leave him. Always remember, grandma has raised kids before :) she knows what she is doing!

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S.M.

answers from Austin on

Can you leave him for short periods of time in her care? The hardsest part of the separation will probably be you missing him. If your mother-in-law really plays with him and keeps him distracted, then he will be ok. You will not have as much fun if you take him with you. Travel with a baby is really hard, esp at a resort. The boy is too young to remember the trip. He will not be scarred for life, even if he misses you. With your husband gone, all the more need for a break. I find that I am refreshed and can be a better, more patient mother when I get a break from my own son.
Do not take him out of guilt. If you feel like you cannot leave him, then maybe you should stay home, too. If it is a get-away for friends, then a baby will affect everybody's good time. They may say it is ok, but are they bringing their children? If not, then I wouldn't take him, even if that meant you don't get to go.

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A.B.

answers from Austin on

This issue reminds me of when my husband called me in Nov of 2002 to say that we were going to Maui for 5 days (won the trip through his job)and I had my first son in June of 2002. I thought of going through the expense of taking him and my 3 year old daughter because I had never left them--I felt like a bad mother for even considering going without them. I would love to tell you that My MIL AND my MOM pitched in to help while my husband and I went together on one of the best trips that I have ever had. I know that you feel guilty but if you trust her to keep your baby--GO!! Relax and enjoy that time to yourself--you deserve it. Take care!

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D.S.

answers from Houston on

Go and enjoy yourself. I only wish i had family that i could leave my baby with for that long. The longest i have been able to leave my daugher was 24 hrs, and she was fine with it.

If you have been the primary care giver for 2 weeks, then i am sure you could use the break. If you feel guilty look at it this way---studies show that workers who don't take vacations are less productive, make more mistakes, and get sick easier. Motherhood is the hardest job i have ever had, so not only is it good for you to take a break, it is good for your baby, too.

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M.K.

answers from Austin on

A.,

Please go! This opportunities may not come around often. Look at it this way, you'll recharge your battery and come back feeling so good. You'll get some sun and fun - adult conversation alone is a worthy reason to go. I was like you and let me tell you, I wish I had taken up the offers that were offered. So now my "babies" are 8 and 6-years old" and the thing is, I still hesitate but gosh how I needed that time. Yes, you'll miss your baby and yes, you'll worry but you must give yourself this time to relax. Don't worry, you'll have him 24/7 again!!

Besides, who better to love on him than you MIL? This will also give THEM special quality time. So look at it that way: not you leave him but him receiving lots of quality time with Grandma. Try it and your brain may actually accept it and will allow you not to feel so guilty or filled with worry.

Please don't be like me. It also made my children dependent on ME! Isn't that what I wanted?? Nope. Yes, I want them to feel secure but they should feel loved and secure with their other loving relatives.

Go and have some much deserved fun...belive me, you may not have too many!!

Good luck.

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J.J.

answers from Austin on

I left my eldest (now 3) for the first time when he was 10 1/2 months for 4 nights AND he was still nursed evening and early morning. I agonized over whether it was the right thing but they were plans made before he was born. My parents stayed at our house to watch him in a familiar setting. I called him no fewer than twice a day. Honestly, he barely missed me, I think I had a harder time but it was worth it because I came back refreshed and rejuvenated ready to be a better mom because of the break.

I was a SAHM and my son was usually shy with my husband for the first few minutes after he got home from work each day. He was the same with me when we first saw him after the trip but it passed in about 10 minutes. That was the only sign that he even noticed we had been gone.

Good Luck

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S.O.

answers from San Antonio on

GO! Without him. It will do both of you good. Believe me!

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C.S.

answers from Victoria on

Definately with out a doubt GO! when my son was 6 mths we went on a family vacation without him and it was so hard, but me & hubby got to sped some much needed time together and my daughter was able to spend some quality one on one time with us and made her feel big and special. While I missed my son and called often during the weekend, I did enjoy myself and it really recharged my batteries so that when I got back to my son I was rested and able to really enjoy him. He was so little and would not have had a good time with us. My mother inlaw kept him and she really enjoyed the bonding time as did my son. He learned that he was safe with her and now we go out of town without the kids often to recharge our batteries and the kids enjoy the sleep over at grannies house. Let your son bond with his grannie they will both be better for it and you will too having had a nice time as an adult! Go! Go! Go!

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B.V.

answers from Austin on

Hi I am a mother of three 9, 7, and 2. I have never had a vacation without my children and would love to be in your shoes. You are so lucky to have some one close to your son that would offer to take him for the week. Chances like this do not come up that often. I don't know your mother in law but I am sure he would be in great hands and be just fine. Being a mother is one of if not the toughest job out there. Go and enjoy your self you deserve it.

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S.W.

answers from Houston on

Go and have fun. Your baby will be just fine and will be able to bond more with your in-laws. Your son would not be getting anything out of the trip if you took him. Your need time to yourself also.

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A.E.

answers from San Antonio on

Going away and leacing him behind does NOT make you a terrible mommy. In fact, it makes you a good mommy... in the fact that you need some time to yourself and regroup and have a chance to miss him. He is your world I understand (SAHM myself) but having a chance to miss your kids is a wodnerful thing because it makes the time that you come back together even more sweet. If you know that the person that has offered is a wonderful place to leave him, I think that you are a very lucky woman to be able to get away for just a little while. Then, when you get home, just love all over him. Not to mention, he will never even remember you were gone. Take advantage of situations like that and you will both benefit.... you get time away and grandma and grandson get a good time to hang out together and start forming good relations themselves.

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T.C.

answers from Austin on

LEAVE HIM WITH YOUR MIL!! It's good for him to be with other people and it will refresh you and make you a better mom for having had the break!

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J.V.

answers from Houston on

go and have a great time. the only reason i would not recommend leaving your child with your MIL would be if she isn't a good caregiver. obviously, i don't know you or your MIL, and i don't want to offend her. Most grandmothers are the best caregivers, especially for their own grandchild. if you don't have any reservations about her, then by all means let her have a great time spoiling your angel, while you have a great time and some much needed rest.

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R.H.

answers from College Station on

Hi, I'm new to this mamasouce site, but I relate to your question. I have been married 4 1/2 years and I am a first time mom of an almost 11 month old. I work and my work occasionally takes me out of town. Maybe 3 times since he was born last June. I was very hesitant to leave him with my mother in law who is great. I was even nervous about leaving him with my husband since I do all the daycare stuff. Saying bye is the worst, but once I got to my destination and had some time to myself where it was quiet or if I was with people, just to be with other adults without children was amazing. No doubt I missed him like crazy. I had my husband send me pictures over the cell phone daily, but having that time for me made me a better mom when I came home. I love him dearly, but sometimes you just have to take care of you. I hope you go and have a fabulous time!

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D.M.

answers from Houston on

I understand where you're coming from, but I don't think it's selfish at all to have a little time to yourself to rest & rejeuvenate. My opinion is you should leave your little man with your MIL. I think all women- even moms- need a little girl time every once in a while to recharge their batteries. we are much better wives & mothers once we've had a chance to take care of ourselves, although we generally leave ourselves for last.

Our son was just over 6 mos old & in a new house when we left him overnight with my MIL for the first time, though it was very different circumstances than yours. We had just moved back to Houston from west Texas and still had some things at our old apt we had to go back for. We had been back in Houston (staying with my in-laws) for about a week when we went back to get the rest of our things and left our little man with his Ama. He was just fine and we were able to gather the rest of our stuff without having to keep up with him too, especially with an 8 hour drive..

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K.F.

answers from Waco on

Hello A.,
GO! GO! With your husband out of town, you must be exausted and in need of a well deserved break! I left my son when he was about 6 or 8 months and he was great. It will give Grandma some quality time, that I'm sure she will enjoy!
Have a great time and God Bless,
K.

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J.E.

answers from Killeen on

I think you should do whatever your heart says. So many people can tell you what is right but only you know what is best for you and your son. The only thing I would tell you is don't take him out of guilt! Every mom needs some R&R and should not feel selfish for taking it. I have learned that when I occasionally take time for my self it doesn't make me a bad mom. If anything it makes me a better mom because afterwards I have a newfound energy to dedicate to my child. You would be amazed at how much a little break would renew your perspective on life. I did not leave my first son until he was almost 3 (when my 2nd was born)... Because I felt guilty but guess what... he survived and did not miss a beat! He actually loved it and thought he was such a big boy! My 2nd son got to spend the weekend with his aunt at 9 mos... Like I said it is amazing how your perspective changes... but above all... follow your heart!--- Happily married SAHM of 2 boys 4 years & 21 months

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

Hi A.,

Speaking as a mother and a grandmother, at some point your baby has to be comfortable staying with other people than you and you have to get used to being away from you baby. It does not mean that you don't love your baby and you have nothing to feel guilty about. If your mother in law is willing to keep the baby then you should go if for no other reason than for practice. Go and have as good a time as you possibly have and you will enjoy your baby even more when you get home.

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S.M.

answers from San Antonio on

I think that it is good for you and your son to have a little time away from each other! The average mom goes back to work full time after only 6 weeks! It's only a weekend! you will have a great time without him! it s time to have a bit of adult time, and your cousin and friends will be able to enjoy your company more without the baby distractions as well! Don't feel guilty, he will be with family, he will be fine and you two will enjoy each other when you come back! "GO!" leave him in grandma's capable hands, after all, she raised his daddy!

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S.K.

answers from Odessa on

My husband and I just celebrated our 5th anniversary this past weekend. We did decide to go away for 3 days without our 9 month old son. My mother-in-law kept him. It was a hard decision. I wanted to be able to enjoy some time together just my husband and I but was worried I would miss our son too much to enjoy myself.

I did think about our son often and was ready to see him when it was time to come home but I really had fun while we were gone and I am glad we went away. I just feel refreshed and like a better mother with a renewed source of energy.

Hope this helps!

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T.M.

answers from Houston on

GO GO GO BYE BYE BYE
You need time alone and your child will have to learn that when you leave you will return (trust) and think of the homecoming you will have!
go go go ... I left my daughter the first time with my parents when she was 8 months old to go on a class reunion cruise. I so needed the time away but my cell bill was $400 b/c I called every hour. LOL (my parents hung up on me most of the time) She survived and thrived. When I returned it was like she'd grown an inch, she was more spoiled and was wearing new clothes and shoes and giggling but oh the sweet reuinion we had made me feel like the MOST important person in the ENTIRE universe! It is well needed and deserved. I have not done it again but soon I will.

Be sure to leave rules and schedules and more equipment they will need (carseat, stroller, binky, toys, thermometer, tylenol, etc.)

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M.H.

answers from San Antonio on

Do what is better for you, I know that once you are their you just might regroup your thought and be able to go back home and give your baby even more attention than what you give him now. If you have a wonderful mother-in-law like mine your baby will be just find she will not let any harm come to your baby.

Enjoy

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C.A.

answers from Houston on

If it's for 3 days, I would go and have fun.. if your MIL is willing, let her and they can bond.. she would probably love spending the weekend with her Grandbaby.. But just make sure you write down his routine, so she can use that as a guide to his daily routines.

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D.A.

answers from Houston on

I didn't leave my kids until the youngest was 5, but I had nobody close to leave them with. I also had a misplaced Supermom complex. You will be a better mom if you treat yourself to the R&R you need, so as long as your MIL is a good person to leave the baby with, go and enjoy yourself without him. Have fun!

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M.D.

answers from Houston on

I have 2 children that go everywhere with us as we travel every weejend, but I definitely enjoy my "away" time I get when they stay with their grandparents. My oldest is 5 and my youngest just turned 2. We have been letting them stay a night or two with grandparents since they were only a couple of months old. I breastfed both of them as well and I will tell you the first time you leave them you feel like a part of you is being left behind. But I believe that my children are confident and strong little boys because they know mommy is always there even if she isn't physically here. If you leave him with your mother-in-law call when you need to and even talk to him on the phone. Yes it sounds funny but I'm lucky enought o have both grandmothers watch my children while I work and I talk to my 2 boys on the phone often. I hope this helps and whatever decision you make will be the right one FOR YOU!!

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C.M.

answers from Houston on

GO!!!!! Enjoy yourself. You will be a better mother when you return. Your baby will be fine. I felt the same way with my 9 month old. That age is actually perfect. They don't miss you if they can't see you. It is 18 months that was harder for me. As long as you feel comfortable with your MIL. Yes, DO IT!!!!

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K.K.

answers from Houston on

I vote for "GO" - I wish I could go with you! Have fun!

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D.N.

answers from Houston on

GO!!! Have fun! He will be fine with your MIL. She raised your wonderful husband, right? Enjoy!

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B.T.

answers from Houston on

I'm one of those attachment mommies,and I haven't left my 4 year old girl overnight, except for when I was in the hospital having her baby brother (15 months). But, I know I need to so that I can have a break. I say do it- I think it gets harder and harder to do it, if you don't do it when they're pretty young. I'd ask two questions, since your husband is out of town and this is your first trip away- does the resort have good cell phone coverage, so you can get emergency calls, and is the resort within driving distance so that, if there's an emergency, you'll be able to get back home?

I will say this- we did lots of traveling with our daughter when she was that age, and I wouldn't take a 10 month old with me for a weekend of R&R. With just one parent, there is no R&R going on when you travel- trust me on that one- at a resort there are no "kid safe" areas, so you have to be hyper vigilant the whole time. They can pull down lamps on their heads, get to electric sockets, stuff like that, and watching them constantly to make sure that they're safe is not a great vacation. (WIth two parents traveling, at least you can do the work in shifts).

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S.V.

answers from Houston on

Oh, dear, don't feel guilty!!! You need time to yourself and it is quite alright to leave him at 10 mos. with your mother in law. You have all of the green lights that you could think of, your husband, your mother in law and your son is old enough to be with grandma. It will give him a chance to bond with granny and she will love that very much. It will give you a chance to have adult time for yourself and it will give your mother in law time to spend with grandson. Go ahead and don't feel guilty. You are not committing a crime. Go have fun and you will feel so much better. I left my son for a weekend with my sister when he was 8 mos. My husband rides the MS150 every year and in 2005 my son was 8 mos. Too young to take him camping, because we did not have a hotel reservation and La Grange, Texas, where you spend the night is a small town and barely has hotels. I felt confident leaving him with my sister, because I know how she is with her kids and she did wonderful with my 8 mos. Have a great time and don't worry your son will not hate you for leaving him with grandma for just a bit, he won't even remember. Have fun and enjoy yourself. Life can be a little too short, sometimes. A hug goes out to you and have a great time. S.

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N.L.

answers from Austin on

Hi, my name is Nikki - I have two sons now, almost 4 & 6 yrs old. I left my son for the first time at about 10mo & although it was a little tough being away from him, I did enjoy the time away. It's amazing to discover how relaxed you can become when you do not have that responsibility for a little one 24/7. Go to the outing & enjoy yourself. Your child is in great hands - a grandmother!!!!

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B.W.

answers from Houston on

Go, who knows when an opportunity like this will come around again. I left my son the first time when he was a few days old because of an emergency. Found out right quick that he was just as happy with his grandparents. Be thankful that you have someone willing to keep him and this will help them bond.

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K.M.

answers from Sherman on

Hey girl, take a break. You have your husband's blessings, your wonderful mother-in-laws cooperation and 18+ years to be with your adorable,loved son. A short vacation will help you destress which can only make you a better mother, wife and friend. Wish I had had a chance like this when my kids were young. Take a little "me time" it may be a long time before the next chance comes along. Kathy

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P.B.

answers from Houston on

You should jump at the chance! It is good to have someone you trust keep your child from time to time. It gives you a break and it is also good to know that your child will be just fine in case of an emergency, like if you are in the hospital and have to leave him. My sister never wanted anyone to watch her kid. When her husband had surgery, she had to leave her son over my house. The kid cried all night long. He was 5. Worse night of his life....and mine too!

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D.B.

answers from Houston on

A. you should go you should feel a little hesitant but once you go and enjoy yourself you will be ever so relaxed once you come back. I was a stay at home mom up until my daughter was 11 months old and it can be stressful so go take a break it's only for a weekend and I am sure you can talk to you Mother in Law all day if you would like.

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S.T.

answers from Austin on

Hello A.! I think that if you have someone to watch your son and you husband is all for I think you should jump on the chance to take some R&R for yourself. You are leaving him with someone you trust and it is only going to be for a few days. Take it from a mom who has 3 kids and die for a weekend away, a weekend just for me. Don't get me wrong you are going to feel bad at first but you NEED time for yourself. Hope you go and have a great getaway.

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K.H.

answers from Austin on

Girl! Enjoy yourself...leave the baby MIL!! If you get anxious, use your cell phone and call.
The first time I left my daughter over night, she was 2.5. I was nervous, I was anxious...so I called. Then I told myself to calm down and dont worry.
Get over feeling guilty, your son will be fine. Your not a bad mama. He will be with someone who loves him and will take good care of him.
Dont pass up on this opportunity!! GO ENJOY YOURSELF!!

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S.C.

answers from Austin on

Go girl! These opportunities do not come around that often! If your MIL is like mine, she will be in heaven if you leave him, and mine would wonder if I did not trust her if I did not. But maybe I am the only one with that kind of MIL ;)

I first left my daughter at 4 months for work, and have had to leave her a few days a month since. Honestly, this is the time to do it. It gets harder the older they get, because now at 18 months she asks for me and knows I am gone.

Have a great weekend!

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E.M.

answers from San Antonio on

Hi A., you are very lucky that your MIL has offered to take care of your little bundle of joy. I have not been so lucky on both sides I'm always with my children. Nobody can really tell you go with the baby or without. It's a choice you have to make on your own. Remember that it's always good to have "me time". Try going to places for 3 to 4 hrs and see how you feel without your baby. If you decide to go have fun and enjoy it.

Elisa

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C.S.

answers from Houston on

A.,

You have permission from your husband and a FREE babysitting offer from grandma? GO!!! You will come back renewed and be a better mom for taking time off. I left my son at about this same age with his grandparents for the weekend and they all loved it! Get packing and go have fun!

C.

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V.O.

answers from Austin on

You are going to get a lot of passionate answers from moms as this is such a passionate topic. Do what you are most comfortable with. However, as for "is he too young"? I don't think so. I'm leaving tonight after work for 3 days for work and am still breastfeeding...my son is 5 mo and my daughter 2 yo.Granted my husband is keeping them this time, but when my daughter was younger, she stayed at grandma's overnight before she was 5 mo. It will be much harder on you than on him.

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J.J.

answers from Austin on

I would leave him with ur MIL. U need some time for ur self. Have fun.

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A.S.

answers from San Antonio on

In my opinion depending on how capable you think your "MIL" is by all means go, and enjoy! It's usually not often that you will be offered to take a vacation with the option of leaving your child behind. If it's only the weekend I see no harm, it may even help him to be able to not have attachment issues later. Just don't expect to be totally without worry, my little ones are 7&3 and it's normal for me to think about them constantly, and want to call every hour!

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S.W.

answers from Houston on

A. u should go out of town and enjoy yourself you never know when the opprotunity will present itself again i think baby will be fine with ur MIL as long as u trust her besides baby is 10 months he will be one soon go and enjoy yourself

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P.K.

answers from Houston on

your baby needs you to be happy and fulfilled, so that he can be happy and fulfilled....and grandmothers are just the best in the whole world. if she wants to watch him for you, go! get the rest you need, and then go from conversation to conversation without oh no i need to change a diaper, he's pulling up on the coffee table full of little tings, just imagine that! and when you hold him when you get back it will be the sweetest hug ever. and you said it was a resort???? massage!! yes, try it out.

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H.N.

answers from San Antonio on

I left my daughter for the first time when she was 3 months old and I was still breastfeeding to go to a ladies' retreat. I think it was good for her and her Daddy to have that time together. Anyway, I would definitely have done it by the time she was 10 months old, especially if she'd been weaned.

The question I'd be asking is whether or not I really wanted to relax. Can he nap in a strange place? Does he sleep through the night? Do I want to have a pedicure or a manicure? Do I want to relax by the pool? Would I enjoy being able to actually read a book for once? Does your cousin have a child she's taking, too? Is there a reliable babysitting service at the resort in case you and your cousin decide to go to a movie? (Even if there is one, would I trust any of them as much as I'd trust dear MIL?)

Personally, I'd say leave him with your MIL and go relax. You're not going to be gone for very long. I also think it's good for babies to have a chance to spend time with their grandparents. My children didn't get to do that because we lived halfway across the country. I'd have been thrilled to do something like that for my sake and for my baby's!

I wouldn't want to go to a resort with a 10 month old baby so if: A) I didn't have someone trustworthy to leave him with or B)my cousin didn't have a similarly aged child also going, I simply wouldn't go at all. I love my children dearly but when they were 10 months old, I would have completely been stressed out at a resort without their Dad there. I've been to resorts twice: once with no children(I was 5 months pregnant) - fabulous! and once with my children who were 7 & 4 at the time - fabulous! I wouldn't even have considered taking a 10 month old.

Just my $.02
HTH,
H.

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E.H.

answers from Houston on

I know it's bitter sweet, isn't it!! I'm a true believer of the ol' saying...absence makes the heart grow fonder! I know for me personally, I am a much better Mom to my three kiddos when I get some time for myself, and you know, when momma is happy, everybody is happy! Have a great time and enjoy yourself, A.! When you get home you'll be so happy to see him and even better, he'll be so happy to see you!!! You're very blessed to have the help so take advantage of it!
-Elizabeth

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C.C.

answers from San Antonio on

GO! My daughter was five years old before I left her with anyone other than her dad for weekened. Even though he is too young to know it now, they all need to know it is okay for mommy to be gone and that they come back.

I won't say enjoy yourself, because you probably won't. You will be worried the whole time. At least let this time be the 'warm-up' for another weekend.

But do try to enjoy and DON'T feel guilty about it - there are WAY more things for us moms to feel guilty about (really there aren't) in the whole shceme of things!!!!

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T.E.

answers from Houston on

I see nothing wrong with traveling without your child, as long as he's in capable hands with someone who loves him and with whom he is familiar. But how YOU would cope with being gone? Would you be obsessing the entire time about him? Missing him far too much to really have a good time? I had a difficult time leaving my daughter for more than a few hours when she was an infant (now that she's a toddler, I *might* be able to do an overnight - particularly so I could get some sleep!)

How comfortable are you with your MIL "parenting" your son for the weekend? Do you feel like she'll parent enough like you do that you'd feel good about it?

It's completely natural to want/need to be near your child while he's so young. There are actually brain chemicals that create a very strong connection between a mother and child, so it's not "just in your head" - you really might feel strongly about staying with him. But if you don't and everything works for you and you feel like you need the break, then take it!

Good luck making your decision!
T.

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C.T.

answers from Houston on

If you trust her, leave him with your mother-in-law. Be sure you leave a detail schedule of naps and feedings along with the activities he likes to play and at what time. Also, be sure you bring his favorite toys, traveling swing and dvds. Anything to make it easy for your mother-in-law. Of course, do not forget the pack-n-play.

When my daughter was two months, we left my daughter with my parents overnight for the first time so we could go out of town for the night for our anniversary. She is now 4 months old. She stays at my parents about once every 3 weeks so we can go out for the evening.

You will see. It will be a nice break.

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T.M.

answers from Houston on

Leave him! It will do you good! You'll miss him, sure...but you'll also hav a fun weekend. We all deserve a little break now and again! My child is 8 1/2 months old. My best friend got married and both my husband and I were in the wedding...so we really no choice...that was when he was almost 2 months old! He was with my inlaws for 2 nights! (rehearsal dinner, hair, make up, wedding, etc...). Doing it hten was the best thing...it's a little easier to leave him now! I'm going on a cruise with my 4 sisters, my mom and my aunt in June...it's a girls weekend and I will miss my son, but it's needed and well deserved! GOOD LUCK!

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M.L.

answers from Houston on

Sounds like fun to me. Moms need a break also. Try leaving him with her overnight a few times prior to the trip to see how he will do. It is good for you and your baby. He will probably be spoiled with attention as well.

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G.S.

answers from Springfield on

Leave him with your mother-in-law. He's her grandson, she will take good care of him.

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J.W.

answers from Austin on

Go!!!!!!!!!!!! or I will steal her so I can! Have fun and take the opportunity to refresh for you and your son.

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S.P.

answers from Austin on

Go girl!!!! Have a good time, laugh and relax you deserve it! S.

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R.F.

answers from El Paso on

A wise person told me once, "You can't take care of others, unless you first take care of yourself"

YOU SHOULD SO GO, Have a good time, let your hair down, get some uninterrupted sleep! You will be refreshed and he will get some quality time with g-ma...Have a blast!

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S.K.

answers from Houston on

Hi A.! We left our daughter with my mom for the first time when she was 9 months old and everything went fine. I say do it! It will give them some great time together and you some MUCH DESERVED R&R! Have a great time!

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S.S.

answers from Houston on

Your MIL raised the "best husband & father" you are married to for 3 years, she graciously offered and you have your husband blessing.
Your son will be just fine, most of the time is mommy who has to be worked on. Go have a good time Girl, your son will be just fine! He is not too young and you should not feel selfish. You can always call back and talk with MIL to hear the latest that he has done over the wkend that you are gone.
I felt the same way 16 years ago, my daughter is just fine. Does not even remember anything about me leaving her for a wkend when she was the same age as your sweet 10 month old. The one who will remember is your husband $ MIL!

Be bless,

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S.P.

answers from Houston on

You should leave him with your MIL and go have a nice relaxing time. Enjoy the time off. You can always call and check on him.

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W.C.

answers from San Antonio on

If you trust your MIL, I say GO! Your baby will be fine. She did raise the man you love. She can handle it for a long weekend. YOu will be a better mom for it and it will be some great bonding time for your MIL and your son. We have gone on many trips and left my DD with my mother. They have the best relationship. I felt bad the first time, but there was just no reason for it. It has been great for everyone. Your MIL wants to do this. Let her and have fun.

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K.C.

answers from Houston on

go ahead and enjoy your self. It's nice to get away every once in a while. Even if you dont think your body needs the alone time right now it's always good to just get away. This will also allow your MIL to get to know your little man better. I have always done the same thing. My mom takes my kids every once in a while and I go camping or fishing for the weekend.

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B.C.

answers from San Antonio on

A.;
Leave precious with MIL and go!! You have carried all the
burdens of mother hood for 19 months! Time for a "Feel" free
weekend! The first day you will be miserable, but, alas the
second day you will start to feel "Good"!
Go, enjoy, after all you MIL raised your husband, didn't she?
B. C

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V.B.

answers from Houston on

I vote go! I left my daughter with my husband for a long weekend the first time around that age, but we also left her with my mom last August for 9 days at 19 months old to go to Ireland. I couldn't believe I was leaving the country without her, but it was an awesome trip and I was so happy we went. Her baby brother is due next week as a result of that trip! :-)

If you go, you have to relax and enjoy it knowing that your little one is in great hands. This is a wonderful age to do it since they have no concept of time and won't be asking about you every single day (it's not so hard on them). Let your MIL have some fun and get away for some R&R yourself. You'll be so glad you did. By the way, I agree with the other mom that said if you take him with you, you won't get any relaxation. Traveling is tough with a child that age and doing it alone without hubby to help will just be lots of work for you. Go and enjoy yourself!

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