Finding Time for Everything...

I did daycare for many years and am a nanny for a family now. Here is what I would do if it was me. As far as the laundry goes get it sorted out. the kids can help with this. let them sort by colors (you can get more specific later about fabrics etc) and then each morning before you even start breakfast start a load of laundry. then get them eating and while they are eating you fold the first load and start the next. get them dressed and out the door to school and do whatever errands you have to do while the older 2 are in school. when they get home you have a snack time (snacks are a pc of fruit or cheese and crackers etc but not a full meal just a snack) while they are having snack you read to them. then you have "homework" time. no tv no playing etc.... homework is first and at their age it shouldn't be more than about 20 minutes of homework. while older one is doing his you do the art craft thing with younger. board games come after homework. if you start that now you will be glad as homework just gets to be more and more as they get older. do homework at the kitchen table to avoid any wandering off and doing other stuff. if one has no homework then you do the 20 mins of reading instead. the baby is old enough to sit in the highchair or playpen for the homework time and play with her own toys. good luck

It sounds like it's time to find a Mommy's helper who can help the kids with homework/crafts/shoe tying/babysitting while you're doing some household chores.

What are your expectations? Expectations are a recipe for disaster because if you fail to meet them you will become resentful.
I have 3 children but only one school age and both me and my husband work full time so I can not completely relate to the SAHM but I will say this about your to do list:
Web Bill pay is WONDERFUL! I average out ALL my bills over a 12 month period then, since we get paid bi weekly, divide the amount into equal payments over the course of the year (this will create a credit on your account but it is well worth it) and set up automatic payments. Since we have a separate bill account I never have to touch bills and only go on there to check my statement.
The crock pot is my best friend-you’d be surprised how many meals you can find on the internet for your crock pot. The bowl part comes out of mine so I prepare dinner the night before by putting all the ingredients in and put the bowl in the fridge. The next day I set it and forget about it until I feed my family dinner. You can also make “sack” lunches for the other kids to help you with lunch ect. The key is KISS (keep it simple stupid LOL)
Laundry is a numinous I never do well with but if you throw your clothes in the washer at the end of the night you can dry them and out them away in the morning so they do not pile up. or even first thing in the morning then fold/ put away at night.
The house does not need to be perfect, however, and feeling like your overwhelmed is nothing new to any mother so you are not alone.
As others have said there are so many time saving tips out there so hang in there

I got bored for the FIRST time since kiddo was born (as in I looked around and didn't have anything to do) when my son was 7. Of course, that didn't last long... but point being... early years are buuuuussssssy.

I would also suggest:

- talking with HS to see if board games and baking and silly time and reading can count as "crafts"
- Getting the 2 older ones involved in helping with chores (chores are much more fun with more people... even though when those "more people" are kids and they're making baskets into the wash - he shoots... he scores! he shoots...whoops! kieep it IN the machine kiddo, singing with a broom as a mike, washing the floors as if you only had 10' of floor -hey that 10' stretch is really really clean, and you didn't have to do it-, etc.)
- Cook dinner early and just reheat it at dinnertime
- cut yourself some SLACK and spend at least one nap not doing *anything* but catching up on self time

Husband should look for another job or a way to work a proper amount of time if possible. Your family can't be a family without you hubby there. Unless his fab job pays for a maid and sitters. Still, that is not as good. Also, If u move to live right by job and just downsize the house or buy a real bargain. It is a lot of work to make these transitions, but the reality is that your hubbies job and your location make it impossible to live the good family life u want. My husband gets home at 445 and helps cook, clean, and play with baby. Kids learn to clean too, together with us. you and hubby could reprioratize your life. If you want more family life, you need less work life. That's it. Or maybe less house in addition to that.

You've gotten some great suggestions so far. I was also going to add that maybe in your neighborhood there is a girl (around 10 or 11 years old) that can be a "mother's helper" - someone that can just watch and entertain the baby while you try to get other tasks done, and make a little money doing it. Also, if you can afford it, get a professional house cleaning service or an experienced cleaning lady to do your house every 2 weeks or once a month. Sign up for automatic bill pay through your bank. If hubby is home on the weekends, enlist his help taking care of the kids and catching up on housework.

And sometimes it helps to lower your expectations and cut yourself some slack - it's not the end of the world if dinner is take-out pizza once in a while.

There is never time enough for everything. I'm retired and don't get everything done, still. lol It's a matter of making a list of priorities and learning some time management skills.

I like your idea of having one son play with the baby while you work with the other one. As long as you're all in the same room you can still supervise. An hour each night does not sound realistic, however.

The reason the school wants you working on crafts with kids is to encourage you to spend time with them. YOu might be surprised at the number of parents who spend zero time with their children being playful. I suggest that playing board games and baking qualify for spending time with them just as doing crafts would. Talk with his teacher about it.

Does your husband not spend time with the boys. He can help with homework, tying shoes, reading. These activities should be family activities which would then qualify as spending time with your husband. If he doesn't I suggest you talk with him about how much you need his help. Perhaps some couples counseling would help.

You said he works 8-12 hour days and has a 2 hour commute. Does that mean he's not home in the evening? That's tough. Depending on when he gets home he still may be able to spend some time with the kids. It's as important for them to have some time with him as it is to have time with you. You are their primary caretaker. His time is limited and that's OK as long as he is spending some time with them. I hope he has 2 days off each week.

At 10 months your baby should be able to spend some time awake without being entertained. If you're spending all her waking time doing for and with her it's no wonder you don't have time. You can put her in her high chair in the kitchen while you're cooking. Sing or talk to her while she nibbles on little pieces of food or crackers if she's fussy from hunger. Give her toys to play with on the tray.

I suggest finding a book that teaches time management skills. I suggest a schedule for when you'll do certain tasks will help getting them done more automatic and thus require less thinking giving you more time for other things. Make a daily and weekly calendar with tasks listed at certain times. Like in the old days, laundry on Tues., bills on Wednesday, baking on Mon. for example. Divide up your chores in a manner that makes sense to you.

This isn't easy. You do have to be flexible and willing to let some days be chaotic without beating yourself up for not getting anything done. My mother made a clean floor and clean dishes her priority. No matter what, on most days she accomplished those two tasks. I've found that I feel good about my house if the dishes are done and the floors swept. Never mind the clutter. I can do that another day. I did spend 10-15 minutes every night after my daughter was in bed straightening up which also helped me feel better about my house.

I've also found that I can save time by having more towels and clothes even so that I can go two weeks without doing laundry. I only had 1 child and she was in grade school. My daughter, who has 2 children and a husband, finds that doing a load of laundry every morning helps her keep up with it.

Make tentative plans for what you'll do when and try them out. Make changes as you see what works and doesn't work. Get your husband to help. Perhaps get a Mommy's helper to help with the kids and/or the housework.

Can you get the baby to sit and play by himself while you work with the others? I don't have school age kids, but I do have a 12 month old (who started walking a month ago)..... I have "trained" him to play while I work on crafts with my older child. I find he is happy to play by himself right after breakfast or right after his afternoon nap/snack. So, we go to the child-proof playroom and I let him run around while we sit at my daughter's little table and work.

But trust me, I hear you on this one. My husband just broke his foot too, and needs surgery. Needless to say, he cannot put any weight on his foot for 10 weeks! I have no clue how I am going to get a healthy meal on the table every night during the meltdown hour without another pair of hands....And my house is a disaster after only 4 days of hubby being out of commission. I was feeling stressed last night, and I just said to him, "Ok, I guess I just need to make a list and prioritize, and then I will just accept what CAN'T get done."

There IS always enough time, time never changed - it is just that we have way too much stuff crammed into the little time we DO have making it overwhelming because life has become so busy and hectic. All that said, we just have to let go of some of the unnecessary things that we do not have to do. Spending time and investing in your children and spouse is the most important thing, so make the time for them and either let the other stuff go or find gadgets and help for the other stuff. Example you do not have to cook every day, but if you do, find quick healthy meals that takes as little time as possible to prepare so you are not wasting 2 hours of your precious time slaving over a stove. Use a crockpot/slow cooker. Hire someone to help babysit, clean house, etc, Prioritize, schedule, plan, organize. Do your main chores when baby is asleep. Set aside different days to do certain things. Your time during the day should be with baby and chores or dinner before the rest comes home. Your time after the older kids get home should be homework, bath, etc. Find something for baby to do during that time (toys, sit in highchair while you help the others, listen to music, etc) while you focus your time with older ones. All of you can sit around and do homework together

When they are all in bed, you can take yourself a nice bath and rest before baby cries for you again or before hubby comes home. It's tough, we all have way too much on our plates. All the best.

Schedules, lists and calendars... that's how my mom made it through our childhood!

There were three of us and she was a SAHM... no housekeeper, no yard man, etc. She did, however have us all in daycare/preschool three mornings a week. She used that time to clean, run errands, make dinners ahead of time and scheduled all doctors/hair/etc appointments during that time b/c she KNEW she had reliable childcare. Could you have a sitter two mornings a week with your daughter to give you some time to get other things done?

We had a huge calendar on the fridge & each had a colored marker. When an activity was scheduled or a party invite accepted... on the calendar in "your color". This kept us on track and I've started using it with our little family. EVERYTHING went on the calendar!

As for them both having homework... in a few years all three will have homework so you need to get a routine going now. Your 6 yr old should be able to sit at the table with you while you work on the activities with the preschooler. Put the 10 month old in her highchair with some toys, snacks and board books. Everyone does "table top" for 20 minutes!

I stay home with my 3 kids. My husband has a similar schedule to yours - but he does all the bills (so that's not on my list). Here is my schedule:

Get up with my kids at 7:00.
Get them dressed, fed, and my Kindergarten son out the door at 8:55 to catch the bus. Two days a week we get straight in the car at 9 and take my 4 year old to preschool. The other days we usually hang at home or run an errand in the a.m.

Between breakfast and lunch (if we are home) I usually start laundry, empty the dishwasher, clean up breakfast, clean some, help the little kids clean the playroom, and check emails (or mamasource!).

Lunch is when my K son gets home and after preschool. Then my 2 year old goes down for either quiet time or nap (for an hour - depending on the day). While she has her rest, my boys go outside and I clean up lunch, laundry, and check email.

Once the boys are in and my daughter is up, we read books, do a craft, work on homework, and then I send them all in the basement to the playroom while I start dinner.

We eat around 5:45 (with or without my husband depending on his schedule, he is sometimes home at 6:00). Then it's straight up to bath and bedtime and all the kids are down by 7:30 (or my daughter sometimes at 8:00).

Then after bedtime I finish laundry, clean the kitchen (with help from hubby) and pick up. I usually sit down at 9:00 to check email (I do some stuff for my parents business on Facebook - thats why I check in 3 times a day) and finish laundry and watch some TV.

I usually get everything done. Right now, I don't have much homework for my son, but I expect next year I'll have to adjust for more one on one time with him to get that stuff finished daily.

Good luck!
J.

It takes a selfless, super hero to be a perfect mom doing all you have listed!
Let's do some Maths:
3 hours parenting/tutoring your 3 kids;
3 hrs. cooking/ eating
1 hr. laundry/ folding
1 hr. paying bills/ grocery shopping
1.5 hr. cleaning/washing
1 hr. kid baths/ diaper change
1 hr. traveling/ picking up
1 hr. self grooming
12.5 hours at the least total daily if you are energetic and efficient; and remember to save time for husband! I think you have it harder than him!
I have known women who have done that. They have supportive, appreciative husbands; and are energetic and willing; though it is very draining!
I have 3 kids, but I can only do 3 things well without stressing everybody. I prioritize parenting/ tutoring, cooking, and laundry. I hire a cleaning lady every other week to supplement my minimal cleaning for hygiene sake. I find preparing dinner early in the day when the kids are at school gives me more time in the PM to spend with my kids. I choose to cook healthy homemade meals for the family. I also involve my kids to fold laundry when they are older. Oh, and my husband helps load and unload the dishes in the dishwasher.

welcome to mother hood. if you figure out how to do it all let me know the trick :)

I'm in a similar boat, except my husband is only home on the weekends, I homeschool and we have a farm! I'm lucky in that we don't have to follow a strict schedule as far as school goes, but I count on my kids to help me get everything done every day (obviously not the 9mo, lol). They have learned to gather laundry, sort (a fun game), load and fold. I handle the addition of soap. They unload the dishwasher and they even started vacuuming when I sprained my wrist (the only good thing to come out of that fiasco!!) We do online bill pay and if anything that's not already scheduled on bill pay comes in, we pay it immediately so as not to forget it. When the baby is down for a nap, we either have quiet time or we do crafts (yesterday we made gingerbread houses, so much fun!) I bake all our own bread, and cook all meals from scratch...just not every day. I make double the amount and either freeze it or we eat a lot of leftovers, crockpots are wonderful tools, as are pressure cookers. I get a lot of stuff done while the kids are doing their homeschool assignments. They also watch the baby when I'm taking care of the livestock & milking the cows (this usually entails them watching sesame street with her).
The most important thing to remember is not to stress out, it doesn't help them or you!
Good luck!

Let the housework and errands wait until weekends. Then, one parents does housework with oldest two, the other parent does errands with baby. Bills can get paid online which is easy through most banks. Spend time with your kids and family and don't worry about a messy house.

Join the club! My answer to this problem has been to give up sleeping:-) I wish I could say I was kidding, or that I have some better suggestions, but I really don't. Just do your best and remember it won't last forever. Some weeks the house looks like it's going to fall apart, but I'm doing stuff with the kids. So then I take a day or two and everyone just cleans! It will all work out in the end - I hope.