Embarrassed That 3-Year-old Is Still in Sleep Sack

Updated on April 06, 2013
E.S. asks from Hackettstown, NJ
46 answers

It's not a tragedy by any means, but my 3-year-old refuses to surrender her sleep sacks. She just about still fits in them and does use a blanket. And (sigh), not potty-trained yet so that's not an issue---yet. (Wish it was!)

I say we have to make them "disappear" in order to resolve this--that is if there is anything to resolve.

I guess I could keep letting her use them as they probably provide a sense of security.

Anyone else have "little big ones" still in a sleep sack?

***PLEASE DO NOT ASSUME THAT I AM NOT POTTY TRAINING MY DAUGHTER!!!! THAT'S JUST WRONG!" I've posted a lot about potty training and many people were supportive about it and had similar "late bloomers." Yeesh!

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

@Dawn: Thanks for your concern but no reason for alarm bells. She is perfectly healthy and developing wonderfully. Of course she is interested in the potty. My pediatrician even said not to worry since she just turned 3. Didn't address the sleep sacks though. I didn't think it was an alarm bell at all.

Wow. Now my parenting is called lazy. I think I need a mamapedia time out...

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.A.

answers from Minneapolis on

I am of the opinion that whatever helps them sleep, don't stop unless you are willing to deal with less sleep. Ignore what anyone says and just respond "I personally like a well rested, happy child."

12 moms found this helpful

I.X.

answers from Los Angeles on

They all have their things, one was on the bottle until 3 and had to sleep with a ceramic garden ornament, one a pacifier.....it happens. Let them have an idiosyncrasy, parenting by the book is for people with no kids.

10 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

If it makes you feel any better my almost 4 year old boy still sleeps with his Nuk. Yeah- now that is embarrassing!

8 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.D.

answers from San Francisco on

If they made sleep sacks big enough, I would have one :)

19 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i wouldn't be embarrassed by this at all, my dear. she WILL outgrow them. they're already verging on becoming uncomfortable for her. i'd be right there with you in allowing her to decide her own comfort zone, and her timeline for moving on.
not sure why you're reacting so defensively. the responses seem overwhelmingly supportive to me.
khairete
S.

11 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.R.

answers from Washington DC on

I hope you can overcome the feeling of embarrassment. No worries! As others have said, you could try footsie PJs. Definitely continue to offer different options. But if sleep sacks still fit her and aren't a safety issue at all, I say let her wear them. She's only 3, and needs to feel secure. I'd be so happy if my 3-year old slept through the night wearing just about anything. :) Good luck!

9 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.P.

answers from Portland on

Why would you want to take away something benign that gives your child pleasure? Why are you embarrassed? Why is it more important to stop your embarrassment than to provide your child with something that she not only enjoys but which gives her a sense of security?

I can think of no reason for a child using a sleep sack to be embarrassing. I do not get it. Its use is not dangerous to her health or well being. I someone criticizing you for allowing it? If so, why are you giving them the power to control what you do?

Also, no need for concern in regards to potty training. A lot of children train after age 3; some as late as 4 or 5.

9 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.N.

answers from Chicago on

I loved sleep sacks and used them way past two yrs old, or whenever he outgrew the biggest size. Footy pajamas are what we transitioned to.

My son was 3.5 when potty trained. When he was ready it went fast and he was trained in a week or so, including nights. Don't stress about it is all I can say.

8 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.K.

answers from Bloomington on

I wouldn't be embarrassed about the sleep sack or lack of potty training.

8 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I don't see anything wrong with it. everyone has their comfort item. Both of my children, 15 and 6, sleep with stuffed animals. I mean they hold the animals all night, not just have them in their beds! My son will often make a "nest" of the animals and sleep in it.

There is no need to be embarrassed or take them away from her. I am surprised that at 3 she still fits in them! Nothing wrong with it tho.

8 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I actually don't see any harm in letting her sleep in the sleep sack. If it keeps her warm and cozy and she fits, no problem. It's no different than a teddy bear, as far as I'm concerned. As for the potty training, it will probably be awhile before she's ready to make it through the night anyway (even if you do get it done during the day), so that wouldn't really be a problem either.

7 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.B.

answers from Detroit on

I didn't even think they made sleep sacks that big...

It's probably become a security thing with her, like a pacifier for many kids. Maybe you will need to have a special "fairy" come at night to take the sleep sacks away for babies that really need them, and leave her a special big-girl blanket instead. Or will she go for a kid-sized sleeping bag?

7 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

I.G.

answers from Seattle on

Honestly I don't quite understand why this would be an issue. I think in my home country they make those sleepsacks up to the equivalent of 5T or so and some of my nieces certainly used them for a long time...
She will give it up when she is ready or it's getting so small she gets uncomfortable...at that point she may want to keep it as a lovey...

BTW I also don't understand how this would hinder potty training. Being night trained means they are able to hold it through the night - at least it was this way for my DD... and that really is less about "training" and more about being physically able to hold it (or wake up in time) over night.

Last I checked parenting was neither a competition nor a race to the finish line. Let your little one hang on to the last reminders of babyhood until she is ready to let go. I am fairly certain she will outgrow it before she is off to college....

6 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.F.

answers from Fargo on

Nothing to be embarrassed about. My daughter slept in a crib until she was 3 because she LOVED it.

I wish I could fit into a sleep sack. They seem cozy! :)

Oh, and someone will always tell you that you are doing something wrong. I could write a book about it! I once had a woman tell me that she felt my daughter was too advanced developementally and that she should be checked out because "something is probably wrong with her brain", and that I should be worried. Right.

6 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I don't see the big deal at all.
Have you seen all the adults with Snuggies out there???
I mean, if she's not having other issues, who cares?!
I wouldn't waste time fretting over it.
Apparently she's used to it -- it's her "normal" -- so why change it.
And if she's sleeping happily in a crib? Again--that's fine.
You can see if she's like to try a little sleeping bag or some footsie pjs but you know, basically, if it ain't broke, don't fix it!
She won't be packing a sleep sack for a 3rd grade sleepover, I assure you!

6 moms found this helpful

D.K.

answers from Sioux City on

I wouldn't worry. It sounds like her blankey comes in the form of a sleep sack. All my kids have their favorite things to sleep with. Heck I have a favorite pillow. As for the potty training, don't worry. When kids are ready it only takes about a week to get it done. Don't rush it.

6 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

No worries... Things will pan out over time.

FYI, I have a 37 yr old cousin with 5 children and she STILL sleeps with a part of her blankie. All of her children have them as well.

My daughter loved her blankie and I feared she would be 40 and sleeping with it. She stopped when it came to sleepovers.

Sometimes sleepivers can work wonders.
Best wishes!!

6 moms found this helpful

D.H.

answers from New York on

FWIW, my son, who will be 9 in three weeks, builds up a wall of pillows and bolsters around himself when he goes to sleep at night. By the morning, he's firmly entrenched between hubby and I to the same effect. Some people just like that cocooned feeling and sometimes even then, depending on the weather, the temperature and the season, even that changes. Don't worry about it. (He also didn't start really potty training until he turned 3).

5 moms found this helpful

L.L.

answers from Rochester on

I don't even know what a sleep sack is!! :) ;) If it's (I'm imagining) some sort of pj that is sew together at the bottom, how does she walk? If it's more of a nightgown thing...well, that's no issue.

Either way, if she makes it work...she'll soon outgrow them, and at that time, it's just time to let it go. We can't wear clothes that are too small for us, and what other reason do we have of getting rid of our kid's clothes (besides being worn out?) I don't think it's a problem, honestly.

If she's truly outgrowing them and you just want an easier transition, maybe take her shopping and let her pick out new pj's herself.

***ETA....my first child didn't show any interest in potty training until she was 3, and then zip, done in one day. ONE DAY. My youngest, who is almost three, similarly shows NO INTEREST at all in the potty and I don't see it happening in the near future. However, both my children are very intelligent, bright, fun, and a joy...I think your daughter and mine are both just fine!!

5 moms found this helpful

Y.M.

answers from Iowa City on

I haven't read the other answers so maybe someone else has suggested this: how about graduating her to a sleeping bag? Basically the same thing, but with a bit more room.

My daughter just turned 3 and she is not fully potty trained. My older daughter didn't have ANY interest in it until she was about 3.5. No worries. Some children just take their time. Not a big deal.

5 moms found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

Well, I say that if your daughter is sleeping well in the sleep sack then just keep her in it!
Is there a reason you want her out of it, other than that you are embarrassed? I wouldn't be worried at all.
Whatever keeps a kid sleeping....
Plus, if she gets to big maybe you could just cut the bottom off...then it would be like a nightgown and then you could transfer to an actual nightgown.

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.C.

answers from Atlanta on

My son didn't give up his sleep-sack right away, either. I don't know why you're embarrassed. In fact, I still occasionally use a sleep sack with feet for my 4-year-old because his room gets really cold and I don't want him to freeze if he kicks the blankets off. Have you looked into sleep sacks with feet?

http://www.amazon.com/HALO-SleepSack-Comfort-Wearable-Bla...

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

They make the ones with feet that kids can walk in. Basically a lot like a sleeper but with more room. I would not be embarrassed. They fit. She's happy. She sleeps. My 4 yr old sleeps in footie sleepers still, but I have put a tshirt on her because otherwise she unzips them if she feels hot and then gets chilled in the night. Whatever works. And though my DD is daytime potty trained, nighttime she is still a heavy sleeper. I'm just going with the flow, so to speak, with pull ups for a while.

Don't worry about the sleep sack. She'll outgrow them soon enough and I'd see if she'll use footie jammies (or similar, without feet).

ETA: My DD had trouble potty training til she was past 3. She's slow on physical abilities. Once she was ready, she was ready and it didn't take us long at all. The pediatrician was NOT worried at her 3 yr visit.

For those that were not aware, HALO makes sleep sacks with foot holes to 4/5T size. https://www.halosleep.com/products/detail/90/micro-fleece...

I really see little difference between a sleep sack of this size and variety and a set of sleeper jammies, which many, many children wear well above 3 yrs old.

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Maybe have her pick out a sleeping bag? They have so many choices of characters. But honestly I wouldn't freak out too much. Atleast she sleeps. And don't worry about the potty training thing too much. My son was three and a half before he'd even try to use the potty. But once he wanted to do it, it was done.

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.K.

answers from New York on

Heck choose your battles. A sleep sack is not one I would fight over. She likes it. So what. I would rather have a happy rested child! She won't go to college in one lol.

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.L.

answers from Washington DC on

Whatever. That's my take. She'll get out of the sleep sack when she no longer fits in it! And as far as potty training goes, I have 2 comments. 1) My youngest had NO interest in going to the potty until she turned 3. The day she was interested I encouraged it, and she was potty trained in ONE day. I mean really, I am not going to take my 2 year old to the potty every 2 hours for months until it's done. "Ain't nobody got time for that!!" 2) This same child is now 9, and still cannot stay dry at night. I say CAN NOT, not WILL NOT. I won't get into details, but let's just say we're waiting it out. The poor kid wants to be dry more than anything. It just isn't happening for her yet. So, technically, she could still be in sleep sack! Keep on doing what you're doing mama!

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.T.

answers from Washington DC on

I think it's fine if she's in a sleep sack. And it didn't even occur to me that it was strange for a three-year-old not to be potty trained at night. I've known five-year-olds still in nighttime diapers.

4 moms found this helpful

C.V.

answers from Columbia on

I don't think this is a big deal at all.

She'll stop sleeping in them when she's grown out of them. And she'll potty train when she's ready. I have yet to see an un-potty trained kindergartener or first grader.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.G.

answers from Dallas on

ADD: Don't be embarrassed. Some adults still sleep with stuffed animals. It's just a comfort thing and not a problem. And my son was potty trained right around 3. Fully by 3.5. It'll all be fine :)

ORIGINAL: Start talking to her about the fact that she will soon be too big for the sleep sack and ask for her help in choosing a sleeping bag or similar item. She may enjoy the cozy feeling of a closed sleeping environment vs. blankets. So work with that and find the kid friendly version. Involve her in the transition.

This might be a good transition - go to amazon.com and type "big kid sleep sack" - I googled and found out about it on this site. http://kiddietreasures.blogspot.com/2009/02/halo-sleepsac...

4 moms found this helpful

J.P.

answers from Lakeland on

I would not force them away or just have them disappear. She will eventually grow out of them one way or another and I don’t see them doing any harm. Your daughter will physically grow out of her sleep sacks but can’t she still keep at least one on her bed for comfort while she sleeps? I don’t know why some parents take away comforting things their children love and force them to grow up so fast.

As for potty training my daughter took forever and I was worried about her starting K. She is just ending first grade and she is just fine. I found that the more I pushed the worse it got. Let your child have some control over it and she will do it.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.B.

answers from Spokane on

they make sleep sacks for older children (i believe it has holes for the feet to come out). maybe look into those since she likes them so much :). as or potty training my daughter finally day trained at 3 1/2 and shes still in a pull up at night. so no worries there.
maybe take her sleep sacks and make a blanket out of them. then she still has them for her comfort :)

heres a link for toddler sleep sacks :)

https://www.halosleep.com/products/detail/90/micro-fleece...

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.B.

answers from Denver on

We were stationed overseas, and a furnished apartment was the only option, as we were stationed in a remote area with no American military facilities, as my husband was assigned to a European base. Both of my children's beds (and my children were in middle school and high school) were furnished with bedding, and the bedding was basically twin-bed-sized sleep sacks. They loved them! They had not seen sleep sacks before (well, they hadn't seen them since they were infants, that is.) The sleep sacks were not tailored to my children, they just were the sheet styles that were provided by the European landlady. I don't see a problem with this.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D..

answers from Miami on

Have you discussed this with your ped? I think that you should. How are her developmental milestones? Is she a bit behind? Is she showing any interest in potty training?

I don't know when she turned 3, but I do think that if you put a lot of this together, that perhaps your child should be evaluated by a developmental pediatrician. Ask your ped about this - I think it would help you. I would NOT make the sleep sack disappear until you've talked to the ped.

Dawn

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.M.

answers from Cleveland on

i was just going to say, that I wouldn't go with a sleepign bag, I would get the footie pajamas. My kids love to be cuddled up with lots of blankets and all cozy, but they just toss and turn in a sleepign bag, it gets too hot, it twists up. just not good.

From what you wrote i could't get a clear picture, Depending on a few things there might be some alarm bells or there might not. You didn't really tell us enough, Is she 3 and still in a full crib? is she in your bed? what happens if one is in the wash or what do you do when it's hot in the summer? how hot is your house? Does she throw fits and refuse other transitions? what is her weight etc/ I usually don't go in for percentiles but is she growing? cuz i thought the sacks stopped at 18 lbs? personally i think 3 is a bit late for potty training and shows either a lazy parent or willfull child, but my definition of potty training is taking a 2 yo to the potty every few hours, not waiting until she independently walks over to the toilet herself every few hours. I would also ask if she has any other lovey or securitiy item, usually around this age kids find one.

Depending on those answers that's when I would be Oh ok no alarm bells or holy smokes what all is going on here. please don't feel you need to respond to the questions they were just for you to think about. and i'm tired tonight and not goign back to read every post you've ever made on here. so take my advice and insight or not, that's what this board is, I don't have to take my time and respond and you don't have to like what i say, I do hope it helps and i do hope you know you don't need to be embarrassed as long as you are doing what is best for your kid. I mean it all kindly.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.R.

answers from Seattle on

May I ask...what is a sleep sack? I can't tell by perusing the answers. Is it more of a footless pajama piece or a pint size sleeping bag?

3 moms found this helpful

R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'd switch them out with a fun sleeping bag when she's not around, and get rid of them so you're not tempted to give them back. Then when she sees it, the "Sleep Fairy was here, look what she brought! Oh, and she took your sleep sacks for little babies who need them!" And smile :)

If this seems harsh, think about it...how WILL you potty train her? She's old enough to be trained. This is something you take the lead in as the parent.

3 moms found this helpful

N.C.

answers from Rockford on

I didn't read anyone else's responses, so apologies for any redundancy. That being said, as someone who works w/ kids and has taken many classes and watched MANY kids potty train and go off to school, I really don't think you need to get too stressed yet about THAT! In my experience and based on what experts have said that I've heard about, you shouldn't become too concerned until about 3 1/2 or 4 if not potty trained yet. Some kids just take longer and aren't ready yet.

Now, if she is going to be going to preschool, then you might want to ramp up the training and try more tricks to get it done. It is NOT an easy thing for some kids, and then others just "get it" really quickly!

As to the sleep sacks...who cares if she still wants to sleep in em? Why are you embarrassed? So many parents do things that I might not agree w/ , but don't judge them for doing something that works for THEIR family. And besides, w/ warmer weather coming, maybe that will make it easier for you to talk her into other jammies...maybe take her to the store and let her pick them out!

Find a new stuffed animal or blankie to trade, or maybe do the same thing that people do w/ binkies and say that other smaller babies need the sleepers and since she is a big girl now, it's time to give them to other kids who can use them and then package them up and put them in the mailbox (before bed, so you can go get them out after she's asleep!)

Good luck...your child will not be traumatized! She'll be ready when she's ready! (as long as she isn't 6 or 7 and still wanting to sleep in them! haha!)

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.K.

answers from Seattle on

I haven't read any of the other responses but just want to say that you shouldn't worry about either of these! My daughter (4.5) says she sleeps in a "sleep sack" - it's just those footed pajamas but she loves the idea of a sleep sack so that's what she calls it. I'm sure if the idea came to her of sleeping in an actual sleep sack, she would love it. I think they just like being cozy and warm, can't blame them. My daughter was also extremely challenging with the potty training. A few failed attempts until finally I started again when she was 3 years and 2 months and told myself we weren't looking back. Even at that point, it took a good two - three months until she was good... even an occasionally accident for a few months after that. But now she's great. And when I took off her nighttime diaper a few months before she turned 4, no issues at all. Only had 2 accidents at night ever. So I think some kids just are ready when they're ready. I wouldn't worry about either thing! :)

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.F.

answers from Dallas on

Depending on her needs, you could cut the bottom out of it, you could try a weighted blanket that they sell for sensory seeking kids.
I grew up sleeping in a feather bed. No, I don't mean those high dollar things they sell now! But kind of like sleeping cradled in a big pillow. I understand the comfort factor.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

What's a sleep sack? Whatever it is, I think you should just let her have it.

3 moms found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

I would get her a sleeping bag. My boys both have light weight indoor sleeping bags that they use for sleep overs and such.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

Can she get out of the sleep sack if she needed to?

If you really need her out of it, you could slowly start pulling seems and eventually she will have 2 blankets.

1 mom found this helpful

D.D.

answers from New York on

Kids love comfort items so I'm sure your daughter's love of her sleep sack is no different than a kid sleeping with their favorite blankie or stuffed animal.

When the weather gets warm and you switch over to summer jammies just wash the sleep sacks .... in the garbage can. When fall rolls around have your daughter assist in looking for them and when they can't be located in the house then they are 'all gone.'

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from New York on

We keep our house cold at night so we used a sleep sac for a long time. Basically, until she realized she could get out of it st will.

Why don't you wait until it gets warmer and then bring her to a store where she can pick out some cute PJs. Then add a little white lie that night. Oh no, the sleep sac is in the washing machine. I forgot! Go to sleep and I will dry it and when it's ready, I'll put it on you. She's old enough to reason with. If she asks for it, tell her it was so old that it fell apart in the wash. Maybe let her buy a new warm blanket, too!!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Switch to a toddler sized sleeping bag.

Any "transition" may be, dicey.
But transitions are what childhood is about.
She is 3.
Having a lovey/her blanket is fine.

Talk with her about it and don't fear it or her reaction.
Just explain to her... about options.
ie: a toddler sized sleeping bag.
Pick one with her.
Try Walmart etc.
In the camping section.
Or find one online. They come in all sorts of designs/kiddie characters etc.
She probably likes the "cocoon" feeling but also it has been a routine for her all this time, to sleep.
But she is growing, and is 3.
At some point, she will have to get out of it and into something else. Even if that is a sleeping bag or a cool toddler bed/bed for herself.

Didn't know sleep sacks come that big.

1 mom found this helpful
For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions