Dogs and Holidays

I would leave the dog at home, either with a pet sitter or at a kennel. I would assume that if they like dogs and don't have one it is because they don't want one in their home. I would be mortified if anyone were to bring a dog to my house. As for calling and asking, I would feel put on the spot if someone called and asked, so I would say yes, but I would feel put out by it.

If the person with whom you will be staying is okay with you bringing the dog, bring him. I have a good friend who lives several hundred miles away. She brings her dogs when she comes to visit, I bring my dog when I go visit her.

Dog stays home.
I have a dog and don't allow other dogs at our home. I also don't bring mine with me anywhere. He is an awesome dog, but he is a dog, not a child

I agree that the dog should be kenneled or a pet sitter should be hired.

I would have a house/pet sitter take care of my dog OR I would put him in one of many pet hotels around here that are nicer than some people hotels!!

I have 3 dogs, well trained but I would not take them to anyone's home, even if someone asked me to please bring the dogs. I wouldn't want accidents for starters because they would be off their schedule, the toy poodle has never been around young children and I make sure he stays away from young children so no one gets a bite, etc.

It would add way too much stress for me to have my dogs at someone else's house. I am an animal lover and I would not want someone else bringing their dog to my house on my dog's turf. That sets up more issues.

I'm with you... get a sitter or pet hotel

As a total animal lover and pet owner (we currently have a dog, a cat, a rabbit and two fish tanks) I would never DREAM of taking one of them with us on a trip to someone else's home. It's WAY to intrusive, and even my sweet, well behaved Lab would likely be nervous and uncomfortable with the travel and unfamiliar surroundings.
Try to get someone to stay with your dog while you're gone. I have a single sister with no kids who does this for us, and it's nice having her here to take care of the other pets, mail and plants too.

In our family bringing a pet to someone else's home is rude.
Finding a kennel or getting a pet sitter is better than dragging the animal to a crowded unfamiliar place.

Until our recent move, we had a dog. So this isn't coming from a non-pet person. I HATE going to people houses who have a dog(s) that jump on you, try to eat your food off your plate, sit on you, etc. I'm allergic to most dogs and even though my friends KNOW this, they still keep their dogs in the house when I am there. I will even FULL ON break out in hives in front of them and they keep the dog inside. I have accepted that they are like this and assume its an attitude of "if you don't like it then don't come over". Which I am tempted to do but I would like to have a few friends.

I am throwing a party in a couple weeks for my husbands 40th birthday. Like I mentioned, we moved to a rental for no pets so we don't have any, which for more than one reason I am happy about. However, we have an older friend who we invited to the party and asked if she could bring her little dog. I simply said, "no pets please". She has since left me a voice mail which I'm sure if I return her call will be putting me on the spot and begging me to let her bring her dog. There frankly is no reason for it. I'm allergic, there will be a lot of people and I don't want to deal with it.

So no, I don't think you should bring your dog. I guess if your husband already asked and they clearly said yes, then it isn't an issue. However, if she didn't directly answer, then they probably would prefer you not to bring the dog and I wouldn't.

This reminds me of a July 4th party we went to several years ago. They had 3 dogs running around the house, actually jumping on the chairs by the table and LICKING AND SNIFFING at the food!!! I shooshed them away when I saw it and was bad mouthed by the mom saying I was "being mean to her dogs". Oh my, I guess I'm the only one that minds dog hair in my food and LICKED by the dog before I eat it. Gag. Just my opinion. lol

It's not out of the question for dogs to go visiting with their owners. However, dog owners need to be sure their dog is truly invited before taking him/her along.

My husband and I raise puppies for Canine Companions for Independence, and we can take our pups to many public places - the grocery, the restaurant, the mall, the symphony, church, the football game... But we don't take our pup to a private home unless he/she is specifically invited. And then the pup needs to be on best behavior and leashed. Sometimes our pup *is* invited, and it's a fine experience for the dog and even for the people.

Good manners in a canine are great! But people need to observe good manners, too. Unless Rover is specifically invited to your relative's house (and it can't hurt to ask!), he needs to have a happy Christmas at the kennel. (Choose one at which you know he'll have a good time and a happy Christmas!)

I have 2 dogs and I never ask to bring my dogs with me, except at my parent's house. They have 5 dogs and lots of land. I only do that, because they were the first to tell me to bring them. I can't imagine asking anyone else to bring my dogs.

I'm with you, I do think it's rude. Double check that your sister in law is truly okay with the dog situation. To be very honest, I would board him somewhere...even if she was. Just my opinion.

Unless someone said to me, please bring your dog (I wouldn't ask if I could), I wouldn't bring him. I'm with you.

:)

I agree with you. I think even if you call there is a chance she will say yes to be nice while really not wanting the dog at her house. Be very careful as to where you take your dog for the holidays. I remember the one place I took my dog in TX overbooked for Thanksgiving and had dogs staying in crates instead of rooms. Fortunately for my dog, he got a room because I booked early. However, since they had so many dogs they put those paper bracelets around his neck and it rubbed him raw. I never went back. When I booked the next place I made sure that only rooms would be used and no paper bracelets around dogs necks. Just something to think about and ask when booking.

I like dogs, but I don't ever want to own a dog. I hate when my husbands family brings a dog to parties. There are so many people and kids its congested enough. It just makes more congestion with more animals. Also, when people are going in and out unloading and loading the vehicles its always irritating to have to make sure the dog doesn't slip out. I also don't necessarily trust any dog when a lot of kids are crowding its space, no matter how good the dog is with kids. I can imagine it would be overbearing having all these kids all over you. So I'm constantly watching over my kids around the dog. I vote to leave the dog at home.

My sister and BIL bring their dogs everywhere and it pretty much makes the rest of us crazy.

I have invited them to go on trips and they turn me down because we're not going to a place where dogs are welcome. I just can't see living my life for my dog! And these people have children!

So, I agree with you. It's a bit presumptuous to think that people are going to welcome your dog for Christmas dinner! Especially a big dog!

I think you should go ahead and make a reservation to have him/her boarded while you're gone. They really take good care of the dogs; they love them, exercise them and give them lots of attention!

I agree with you. I would feel strange bringing my animal to someone elses house.

You are being a considerate family member and a responsible dog owner. Board the dog in a reputable kennel -- check with your vet for some references, or with other dog owners you know. It seems it's not even clear whether your SIL truly said yes -- she might have just been being nice by asking about the dog when she actually would rather not "host" a dog too. And think: Dog plus Christmas tree could mean broken ornaments; that'll be remembered for sure. Dog plus her kids the dog doesn't know could equal happy kids or kids who are kind of scared and on edge during your visit; you can't be sure. And you don't know yet how well this new dog "travels."

I sometimes go on another parent and family topic forum that is much more blunt than Mamapedia and you wouldn't believe how many posts are along these lines: "My [relative] brings his/her dog(s) when visiting us and I just hate it but don't know how to tell them...." Don't be "that" family that assumes "Love me, love my dog." And remind husband that his mom and other sister do not travel with their dogs so you should not either. Not at the holidays, not when staying in someone else's home, not with a "good-sized" dog that is still fairly new to you.

If your husband makes a stand on this and insists the dog should go, despite your sensible opposition, get the vet on your side if you can -- tell the vet you don't want the dog to go, and get the vet to tell your husband it's a bad idea for the dog's sake (if the vet will do that). Sometimes people need to hear things from a third party professional when they won't listen to their spouses, unfortunately.

I'd call or email and say you are planning to put the dog in a kennel but husband is saying she (SIL) wants the dog to come. "Is that right?? You really want the dog??" Make it clear you do not expect her to say yes so she can say no if she wants. Say it's a big dog so that's an out for her too. Make sure no one else coming is allergic. Give her another out. If she says yes after all that, maybe she really doesn't mind. I'd be thrilled if my sister brought her dog to our house... Does your SIL have a lot of space btw? That's a factor too. My sister has tons of land and a big house so I know bringing our dog would be fine. It just involves a plane ride so we never do. So use your judgement too about how dog suitable her home is... Are you even staying over night? Finally, it may be more work for you. So maybe you would just assume not have the dog that day. But I don't think it's a no way you ever bring your dog somewhere. We have friends who always ask us to bring our dog with us bc they don't have one and love dogs.

I think you would be a wonderful houseguest! BRavO!

Your husband, however, needs a swift whack on the noggin. He's wrong. Very, very wrong.
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Oh, and we have a well mannered dog also. We also have family that has similar dogs. We do not bring them to each other's houses. We certainly do not ever take ours to the family that has no animals in their home. And they LOVE her. But they don't want her in their home.
And can you imagine the chaos of a holiday gathering with a bunch of strangers in a strange place (for your dog)? That is a recipe for disaster. #1, a lost dog if someone opens the door and he gets out (or something frightens him and he runs). What a fun Christmas that would be, huh? Looking for your new dog and blaming whomever was unfortunate enough to accidentally leave the door open a few seconds too long bringing in Christmas gifts. :(

Board the dog. Problem solved.

While I have a dog, I just don't get the whole concept of bringing dogs along to any type of event, unless it is an event for pets. Some dogs are easily spooked and agitated by unfamiliar people and surroundings. Why chance it. Everyone thinks their dog is "well behaved" and "good around people" until some freak situation happens. I wouldn't chance it. Board the dog. I don't invite the dogs, just the people.

Judging by the number of responses you've really hit on a good topic!!

I applaud you for your sensitivity and tact!! We just had my father-in-law over for four nights and he arrived with his dog. I was totally flabbergasted-- speechless that anyone would be so rude. My daughter has dog allergies, we have a relatively small house, and we have chickens in the back yard. Somehow we got through, though there's poop all over the back yard and I'm still vacuuming dog hair. Unfortunately, this is a dicey issue since he's my in-law and I have other issues with him, not to mention it's a flash point in my marriage (great).
If he were to bring his dog again, this is what I would require ahead of time and I pass this information to you-- the dog needs to have a crate or a bed that stays in a quiet room. The dog can that it can go there (or get put there) when it's stressed or too noisy. The dog should stay outside the majority of the time. Make absolutely sure you pick up its poop. Food and water for the dog should be provided outside. Offer to vacuum daily.
If you handle it well it could be a good opportunity for positive communication between you and your family. This would mean not taking anything for granted. Good luck to you and I hope you have a relaxing holiday. Really.

Board the dog. You REALLY don't know how well he travels.

Dog owners are crazy *says the guy with 4 dogs*. We always ask the host first. We only have one that would travel with us and it's not that common. It's your husbands family so I would let him make the call. Unless he's no help at all when it comes to stuff like that, in that case find somewhere for the dog to stay.

If the other family has a dog, I think it's ok to ask. BUT, be prepared for them to say no and be sensitive to the fact that the dogs might not get along. I would even look into boarding options near the host and make a reservation if you can cancel without penalty. That way, if the dogs don't get along, you can board yours and not cause any trouble.

If the host does not own a dog, I don't even think you should ask. You don't want to put them in a position that makes them uncomfortable and, chances are, they would choose to say no but might feel too guilty to actually do it.

No way would allow a guest to bring a dog to my home. I am just not a dog person and don't want to deal with the hair on the furniture, the smell, the risk of having an accident in an unfamiliar home, etc.

I agree. Call her and ask. I'd explain it as, "I think this but your brother thinks this. What would you prefer?" We always put our dog at the local pet resort when we go out of town to visit family. My parents hate dogs and I have in-laws who are just not used to being around dogs, so it's just better than having them crinkle their nose at our dog all the time (and ours is a super sweet dog).

ETA: I looked into the Wags Hotel in Sacramento a while back and it's really nice. Pricier than other places, though. I'd check the current reviews on Yelp.

I agree with you 100 %
In my family, dogs did not travel with people to other's houses, ever. Except maybe to a week up at the cabin /lake etc where the dogs have space to roam.

My husband's family is the opposite. Have dog will travel. I think it is so weird and annoying, and completely disregardful (is that a word?) of anyone else's feelings and preferences for a dog. We'll be heading over to my in-laws for easter or something, and here comes my husband, out the door with our dog on the leash. Um, thanks, but I don't want a 4th party to be responsible at this family holiday (I have 2 kids and yes I count my hubs as a 3rd responsibility unfortunately!)

Sometimes I go to pick up my kids after work, when MIL has picked them up from school, and there's my dog, happily lounging on their couch. She swung by the house and picked her up too! I don't want extra "people" to load in the car after a long day at work. I don't want dog hair all over my car from my dog needing to travel to "grandma's" for a couple hours of company after school. I wish she'd just leave my dang dog put, she's fine at home!

Oh well, I have had to let it go a lot. I still try to put my foot down about events or times when it won't be *just* the in-laws. My hubs and MIL just have no perspective that other people/guests don't feel the same way about large dogs (BIL's beloved is a pit bull) that the owners might...

But I'm with you. However your husband asked so it's up to them to say yes or no at this point... at least he asked. If you feel bad about it you might make a separate call to SIL to double-check.

I would call your SIL directly. Ask her if you can bring your dog or if she would prefer you boarded him/her. Tell her you are completely fine with either, you would just like to know her preference.

Our dog is 12. She goes with us when we drive for the holidays. She has stayed at my mom's house, my in-laws house, my brother's house, and both of my sisters' houses. They all have dogs (except my mom). She's also stayed at our friends' houses and such.

I just leave the decision up to the host/hostess.

If they say ok, and your dog is well behaved bring him. I would be sure he has a place he can go, however, if you feel anxious at any time (crate, fenced back yard, etc.). My in-laws have a large gathering at Thanksgiving, sometimes up to 45 guests. There have been up to 6 dogs visiting. BARK, BARK, BARK

My brother brings his dogs to my parents house and they have 4 other dogs there...it works because the house is set up for dogs.

We do not have dogs in our house and my son and I are allergic (unfortunately), so no one brings dogs to our house...or cats either.

I think you should not bring the dog.

my entire family travels with dogs. Even when the home is pet-free, our dogs have always been welcome.

the only exception would be homes with allergy issues.

She might say yes, but mean no. Your family decided to get a dog, don't burden others with your decision.

I would not want any dogs in my house.

I hate going to homes where animals have free reign. They stink up the place!

Call her and ask. Don't leave it up to hubby. You call her. Send her a picture so she can see the dog, if she hasn't met it yet.

Please don't bring your dog there without making absolutely sure she won't mind. I would be very put off by someone showing up at my holiday party with their pet, and would probably insist they take the animal home. Call her.