Desperate to Let My 17 Month Old Son to Eat

Hi R.,
My daughter has had a hard time with eating almost her entire life. She is now 27 months old and finally, finally eats like a champion, but her first two years were really tough on our family. I breastfed her until she was 23 months old and that's really all she cared about, no matter how much solid food we introduced. She is not a huge fan of cow or soy or rice milk and will drink less than a glass a day so we supplement her calcium in many ways (broccoli, vitamins, fortified OJ, cheese, etc.) but she does not get all those fatty calories she could.

Anyway, you say your son is gaining weight and your doctor is not overly concerned, so your son seems like he is pacing along normally to me. My daughter did not gain weight well, she has always been in the 3 to 5 percentile for weight and sometimes even off the chart. We saw a pediatric nutritionist, two pediatricians and a naturopath to try to conquer this lack of interest in eating (and her dad is a wonderful chef, by trade!). All of them helped a little bit, but the main things that worked for us:
* acidophilus makes her hungry; I don't know why. I give it to her 1/2 hour before mealtime.
* smaller portions of food worked great. Babies can only take 2 or 3 portions the size of their palm for a meal--that's about what your son is eating, right? Their tummies are so small and we had to reduce the size of what we were serving her so she actually asked for more when done. This is a mind game you can win over toddlers.
* lots of exercise worked great right about 18 months--we enrolled her in soccer, took her to the park daily, anything to get those ya ya's out and build up an appetite.
* peer pressure worked well--in her daily Montessori care, food prep and family style eating is a huge factor. When she saw other kids eating, she clued in to what she could do too. It took awhile, and she would often play while others ate, but it had a long lasting effect and positive relationship with food.

Hope it works out--I know what you mean by desperate. it is a horrible feeling not to be able to nourish your child the way you want to. Been there! Best of luck,
S.

I know how frustrating and scary it feels when your son barely eats. I went thru a period similar to this and was told it's normal from other moms. I took him to the doctor and he said my son is healthy and happy and just to keep offering a variety of foods and see what happens. After about a couple of weeks or so he began eating like he used to. Since then I have noticed he tends to eat less just before he has a growth spurt. For a while too the only thing he would eat were plain pancakes that I could only find at Walmart. We stocked up on them. :) I have learned from my experience and with working with toddlers that they do experience periods of eating only certain foods or hardly eating a thing at times. But I feel as long as the child is healthy then it's okay. They'll eat when they are hungry.

My son is turning 2 next month and is very healthy despite his roller coaster diet. I don't think you are the least bit paranoid, you are a mom and it's our job to protect our little ones. Good luck. Let me know how it goes.

R., you are a normal mom (a bit paranoid), and I'm guessing your son is a normal child. Kids that age have very small stomachs, and if they're not in an active growth stage, very small appetites to match. Your little boy couldn't gain weight if he wasn't eating enough to meet his physical needs.

You are making sure that what he eats is high quality, so good for you! And your son asks for food when he's hungry, is gaining weight, and likes the food he eats, so good for him! He just doesn't need very much right now. I remember my daughter going through "eat like a little bird" stages, and my very healthy grandboy also has a small appetite for days or weeks at a time.

Of course every mom is anxious about this, and the temptation is to force-feed the little one. But this is likely to create all sorts of negative issues around food as they get older: inability to recognize true hunger, obesity, eating for emotional reasons, refusing food for emotional reasons, anorexia, etc. So do your best to drop your expectations, and let the reality of his appetite be your guide.

Since he likes the blended meals you give him, he might conceivably have sensory issues that would make him prefer certain textures over others. If solid food is what appeals to him least, you might consider offering healthy smoothies daily until his nervous system matures more. You can find lots of appealing recipes and suggestions if you google "smoothie recipes for kids."

Hi R.,

I think you answered your own question. He is teething on the late side of "normal", and doesn't have much chewing power yet. My eldest daughter didn't get her first tooth until she was 14 months old--the very outside of "normal". We wondered if that meant she was an "evolved vegetarian", because there was no way she could eat any meat products until she was nearly two, since she had no teeth to chew until then.
It sounds like you are giving him a very healthy diet--the only thing I would add would be to try to ensure those veggies and fruits are organic, since the pesticides, fungicides, herbicides and genetic modifications of commercially grown produce can all cause problems in growing brains.
But if he's gaining weight, developing normally, and enjoying life, he's just fine! He'll eat when he's ready and able!

By the way, my second daughter got her first TWO teeth (one upper and one lower) at 6 months old, and was grabbing meat off our plates before she could walk and long before she "should" have been eating such things! I really do think it has to do with teething--you wouldn't want to or be able to eat much in the way of solids with few teeth, would you?

One thing my eldest daughter did love was a combination I made for her of tofu and avocado mashed up together with a fork. She ALSO would not eat "baby food"--hated that it was pureed smooth. But she would eat mashed, soft foods that she could gum herself.

Maybe, since he likes the juice, you could gradually shift the texture to smoothies and then give him some bits of banana or avocado in the smoothies?

Don't think this is uncommon;-) My son won't eat much, seems he is in a constant state of teething- Their little teeth push up against their gums and then before they break through they receed for awhile- darn it all!! finally they break through. My son drinks extra milk and will take more softer foods such as yogurt
Hope it gets easier
L

My son is now 5 and I had similar problems with him. For a while he would only eat chicken nuggets (about6 months in a row) and sometimes he would seem to not eat anything. Here's some of the best advice I got from friends during that time.

First, kids tend to go on "food jags" and will only want one thing for what seems like an eternity. Just humor them and try creative ways to get them to eat the things they need, but don't worry about it. It won't last forever.

Second (and most pertinent to your situation right now) is that it always seems like kids won't eat anything, but they get enough. Just try not to worry about it too much.

When someone told me that last one, i didn't quite believe it and it seemed like forever before my kid started eating, but he did. Kids will not starve themselves. They will eat when they are hungry enough. Looking back on it, everything everyone told me was true. As long as you kid is still gaining weight, you should be fine. Maybe to get him to eat more solid like things, instead of using the juicer all the time, throw some of the stuff in the blender with fruit juice or v-8 (depending on what you're making) to make a thick smoothie for him...sort of try to gradually make it more solid. My son loved veggies from baby food jars, and the home made stuff my mom used to make for him, but when it came to eating steamed veggies or anything solid like that that was in pieces, he refused. It has only been in the last couple of months (he's 5) that he's started to eat real veggies at all.