Co-ed Sleep Overs????

I had a boy best friend until I was in sixth grade. We spent the night together all the time. There was NEVER anything sexual. We were just kids having a good time. We did all the things I did on sleep overs with my girlfriends. I think people over react to this kind of stuff. We are such a highly sexualized society now. It's pretty pathetic if you ask me. But, that's a whole different topic!!!! I say let him spend the night!!! If you are more comfortable, have them camp on the living room floor. Make a 'tent' with an old sheet, have them sleep in sleeping bags, you can even pop popcorn, make smores in the microwave and tell silly stories. They'll think it's a game. :) Let them be kids while they still can. Don't force sexuality on them until they are ready! They just want to be friends and love each other.

I have two boys and a girl. They are close in age and my middle son and daughter share some friends. Often because of this we are having co-ed sleep overs. BUT i separate them at night. and i keep them in public areas of the house when all together.

I have two sons and this was once an issue for us as well.A friend with daughters sticks with this thought...it may seem o.k. now, but what about in 3 yrs.?5? Eventually it will be inappropriate so it's best not to allow it anymore. Have the boy over for play dates and leave it at that to avoid confusion in the future.

Co- ed sleep overs are fine for most young children, it is not a bad thing but be sure they change into thier PJ's in private etc. I would have them camp out on the living room floor each in thier own little area , not sleeping right next to each other.We did this growing up and it was never a problem.Some people always think the worse of these things but my best friends were always boys.Usually my parents friend's children.There was never anything sexual and we were always supervised.Once I started developing at about 9 years old the boys had to stay in a differant bedroom but we still had a lot of fun together before bed time.

I don't think co-ed sleepovers (at this age) are wrong, but it seems like you're uncomfortable with some of the boys behaviors. Also, how well do you know his parents? I think if you are uncomfortable or unsure about it at all, you shouldn't torment yourself. You may have to give your young child an abreviated "birds & bees" talk in order to explain to her why you don't want him spending the night, but the information is better coming from you at a young age then from someone else when it's already too late.

Someone posted earlier to make sure they changed in differnt location & "camped" in an open, heavily supervised area... Maybe this would make you more comfortable, but if you still have reservations, go with your gut.

In general, I'm more in favor of co-ed sleepovers when they're younger when hormones aren't in the way.

My only concern is his expressed need for "alone time". Is he trying to push the adult supervision out the door when he talks about this? If so, I'd either invest in one of those video baby monitors for the sleepovers or put an end to the sleepovers altogether.

If you aren't sure don't do it. I'm concerned about "alone time", at 6 years old? NO 6 yr old needs alone time. Considering what is on TV and the Internet you have no idea what he knows and doesn't know.

I would let them play but would never leave them alone or do the sleepover thing. I have put off sleepovers by scheduling things early the next morning etc. My daughter is 8 and we've stayed away from sleepovers so far. You can say the 4yr old misses the 6yr old too much or that you don't want to start a trend with other kids.

Trust yourself, you wrote about some of his behavior that might be a concern - that means you are paying attention and are noticing something that isn't comfortable. If he is so affectionate it's a great time to teach your daughter how to stand up for herself with someone who isn't threatening and say no. Teaching her to say no will be a huge help throughout her life.

I think co ed sleepovers are fine and we have had them when are kids were that age - I think when they get older - intermediate school and such it scales back on its own because kids are starting to know more about life. As for mom and doctor - everyone has their opinions. its your children and your choice

Ummm, NO! Kids are so exploratory at this age. And his parents need a wake up call.

I don;t think you did anything wrong.

But if you want you can have a simple talk with your daughter, gently find out if there has been any "show me" games played.

At this age kids just start noticing that boys/girls might not be built the same down below. Nothing really sexual behind it more a curiosity about the structural differences. Even though it's mostly innocent you might want to find out for sure and help your daughter know that it's alright to tell him "no" if he asks and that she can come and talk to you if anything happens that makes her feel uncomfortable.

Sleepovers are fine just keep an eye on them.

Hm I don't know. My son is 6 and I think I would be torn also.
It did remind me of a story I thought I would share. My brother is 8 years younger than I, he grew up with two girls on each side of his the same age as him. No boys. One day, when they were about 6, he was at his very best friends house and they were upstairs. They got silent and her mom yelled up to check on them. Of course they both answered very quickly together nothing. She walked up to check on them. All the doctor toys were out, there was a white sheet on the bed and a naked girl with my brother dressed up like the doctor. They said they were playing doctor. We still laugh about it.
So, no most kids this age don't know anything sexual (unless of course they see things on tv at home or exposed to it some other way) but they still do things that are slightly on the ify side.
Best of Luck. Do what you feel is best!

I really doubt there is anything to be worried about. I would do what feels right to you, and stop worrying about what your mother or doctor say unless they have some information about this boy that you don't. This is probably a good time to have a talk with your daughter about inappropriate touching, and letting her know that she can come to you whenever she feels uncomfortable. I also liked the idea that someone else had about having them sleep in separate rooms, or perhaps have them sleep in the same room in a public place (set up a tent for "camping" in the living room or somewhere else you can keep an eye on them). Alone Time is a no-no for kids this age in any case, because they could get into trouble, so put the kabosh on that, and if the boy's parents disagree, make sure all the overnighters are at your place. I know we always have to be on the lookout for misconduct to protect our children, but we also have to stop over-reacting to things that aren't misconduct. Not every boy is a predator, so go with your gut.

NO, NO, NO!

What people do at a young age reflects what they do when they are older. With that said, you do not want them to get older and think it's okay to spend the night with boys, because they may come across the wrong one. Now, play date yes, sleep over no. What did your husband think? The profession I work in, I see children as young as six sexually molesting their siblings or other kids. These kids of today see too much on tv and at home. you have to be very careful. What is it that the 15 year old babysitter do, to make him react that way? That should've been a question to ask. Like I said, the profession I work in, I'm very skeptical to let a male family member to spend the night with my girls, because it tends to start close to home. I have a 4 & 10 yrs old boys and 6 & 8 yrs old girls. When they friends come over to spend the night, My boys goes to someone else's house or vice versa. If they stay home, when it's time to go to sleep, They do not sleep near one another.Boys upstairs, girls downstairs, and both of their romms are upstairs.I can go on and on..but sweetie, just be more careful, because you never really knows what goes on in other people's home. This is advice for same sex too.

38yrs, married with 4kids(4,6,8,10)

first of all you did nothing wrong.
However in the future I would have them sleep in seperate rooms. I say this because you do not know if he has been molested and or may try to do something to your child. Many children try to play doctor at this age.
however girls can touch one another inappropriately too so I would not ban sleep overs.

Don't beat yourself up about it! However, my advise is just to listen to what you feel is right. If you feel uncomfortable about it now, don't have them anymore. If you think it's fine, then set some boundaries you feel comfortable with and STICK TO THEM! Staying in public areas, no "alone time", and have them in an easily accessible area when they sleep. Don't worry about what others say as much as what you think is right for your child.

I am all for play dates- but send the little fella home to sleep. Avoid anything you might end up regretting.

Most of us have experiences at that age....if they want to be honest about it- that is....they are most curious at that age.... Just say NOOOOO- :)

Just my 2 cents-

A.

The only thing that would 'worry' me is his request for 'alone time'.... I would find a way to spy (yes I said spy) on them to find out if anything is going on, asking your daughter may not get a straight answer.
Like others have said, sleeping bags in the living room, put a snack in between them so they are sleeping separate but it's not an obvious thing of 'you over here, you over there'. Doors should be left open, I would do this with girls sleeping over too because of the whole playing doctor game o.O
And as far as your mother and Dr. .... I say they are your children, if you keep it in a safe environment then hang anybody else that doesn't agree with it. *shrug*

I know lots of people who have co-ed sleepovers until kids get a bit older (like preteen). Change clothes in the bathroom, put the sleeping bags in the family room, not a bedroom, and supervise like you'd normally would on a playdate. I had mostly boys as friends when I was a kid so I did several of them. Lots of fun and absolutely nothing sexual or 'wrong' about it. Kids are kids - let 'em have fun with their friends.