My two children have been going to an in-home day care provider since August. I have been extremely happy with the care they are given plus my oldest is finally getting to play with children his own age. For the past two weeks, though, my son (he's 3) is saying he doesn't want to go and he doesn't like it there. After asking him questions about the provider and the other children he told me he doesn't like a particular child and she hurts him. I have never seen any marks on him. He does say that she gets "in big trouble" and she goes in time out. I am wondering if I should pull him out of the situation and find a new provider or let him stick it out. He doesn't seem to have a problem with any of the other children, he doesn't cry when I leave him there and his reports always come back that he was happy, playful, talkative and helpful for the day. I am trying to not be an overprotective parent but I also don't want to be placing my child in a situation that makes him uncomfortable or unhappy. Any thoughts, advice or concerns would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
I agree talk with the sitter first. See if she notices his behavioral differences. She may not because hes scared to show it in front of her. I wouldn't just pull him out without finding out everything. I would also meet with the little girls parents. The other thing is that their are going to be situations like this when he gets in school and you're not just going to be able to take him out. Hope this helps.
Have you tried talking with the daycare providers? Tell them what your son is saying and what your thoughts are if the situation isn't corrected. I would ask them if they have made any changes internally, have they spoken to the other child's parents? I think before you pull him talking to the daycare would be a good idea.
Everyone seems to agree on 1 thing, to talk with the sitter. I might also mention a gathering of the girls parent the sitter you and both kids and have a talk all together.
That way the parent can set guidelines and give solutions to the provider what she is to do and the girl will know the consequences if she has them actions again.
That way the parents will know just what is being done with their kids and the kids also will be aware.
Just my added 2 cents there.
R.
I would talk to the daycare provider and let her know what a big problem this is for your son!!!!! Maybe it's not your son that needs to go!!!! If this child is causing your son such problems maybe it's happening to others ! Just let the provider know if it keeps up your going to have to find daycare else where! Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!!
Definitely say something to the provider. If she seems blaise about it, or does nothing, then find someone else. There is no need your son has to be made to feel unhappy or miserable going somewhere every day. I am sure the provider will be more than happy to talk with you and come up with some sort of resolution. Like someone else mentioned, she may need to have the little girl go somewhere else. The little girl may be doing things to him that don't leave marks, like pulling his hair, pinching him, spitting etc that are hurting him and making him uncomfortable. Go with your instincts and with what your son is telling you.
i agree talk to your child care provider. i provide in home child care myself and these things do happen. not all children will get along all the time but the same goes for once a child starts school and so on throughout life. if he is happy when he is there he could be making it a bigger deal than it is when he is with you in order to get your attention. talk to your provider find out from another adult what is going on and figure out together how to fix it, maybe you and the provider could sit down with the other set of parents and the children and work out something or at least figure out the problem. as a provider myself it is something i have done and i have also stopped sitting for children who could not be nice to the other kids i keep, trust me i would rather have a nice child here even part time than a child that is mean to teh others, you provider might just decide to let teh other child go and continue to sit for you. good luck.
I have somewhat of the sam situation with my son. He is almost 3 and tells me one of the girls who about his age hurts him and the things she does. I talked to my in-home daycare provider and found everything out. I also found out that my son is not an angel either. She did also talk to the other parent and things are changing now slowly. We talked to my son together and told him to "say his words" which means to tell her no we don't do that it hurts and than we go and tell the sitter what happens. The girl gets put in timeout and believe me she does not like that when the other kids are still playing. She also gets mad when my sons tells her no and she goes and cries now. My son now also tells her to be nice and now we do not have that many problems. The other thing is she does try to keep them at times separated and in different groups. If you talk to her and find out what is starting it and maybe why the other girl is like that than you can find an answer. I do suggest asking her to also talk to the other parent so they know what is going on and they can come up with a solution to punish her for example time out.
I worked in a daycare for 4 and a half years. I have to tell you a few things. Children go thru phases like this from what I have seen in my experience. If you are unsure of the provider...make unanounced visits whenever you can and just see what is going on. We had parents coming in all the time to do this. I don't think I would pull my child out at this point, especially if he is happy there except this one child. I would give him time and see if it changes, if not then maybe exploring other options would be a good idea. Have you tried talking to the provider about this? I also noticed that kids that attend part-time had a longer adjustment period...hope this helps, and good luck
i am a former child care teacher and from that aspect i can tell you that it is normal for a child to not want to attend daycare. especially if another child is picking on him. try taking a day and observing the center. you will be surprised at what you will see. three year olds don't care who is around if they want to pick on someone they will do it in front of that child's parent. if the provider has a problem with you observing for the day definately pull your son out. if they don't have an open door policy then they are trying to hide something. also make your concerns known to the provider. don't let them forget that your son is old enough to tell you what is going on.
I can speak from a childcare providers point of view. Definitely talk with the provider. I have an in home daycare and I must say one of the perks to in home is the group becomes more like a family rather then an institution in a center. Regardless I would bring this situation up to the provider... if she knows nothing about it she should be willing to work to fix it and if she does already know about it make sure she is doing something about it. There will be problems in daycares but they caregiver is responsible for resolving such issues. If you are happy with the place then don't pull your kids unless the provider wont fix things. Typically either the problem gets fixed or the provider may need to release the other girl, depending on how big the problem is. Regardless if stuff gets fixed great and if the provider doesn't fix things then you may need to consider a new daycare.
I would just pull him. This has happened to my children before. It was so bad that I had to leave work to go pick my son up because he was hysterical, and at 15 months I knew there was something very wrong by his actions. I am not saying that all In Home day cares are bad, but with the times we are living in you cannot be too careful. I pulled both of my children found someone else right away, and she was very good. She kept them for 2 years and recently decided that she was going to go back to work full time. I then placed them in a Preschool/ Daycare. They went for 2 months, and I pulled them out of there too. I now only work part time nights so I can be home with them during the day. It is much easier on them, and on me as a mother. I don't in any way think you are being overprotective. These are our children, and we are supposed to protect them. If he is not happy regardless or the reason, he should not be there.
