Child Born in Feb. Should I Delay Starting Kindergarten?

Updated on May 23, 2012
M.G. asks from Portland, OR
37 answers

My daughter turned 5 in Feb 2012. We homeschooled for preschool and was going to start Kindergarten this fall. However, I talked to a counselor who suggested that she would transition better and that she will have a better advantage if she went to preschool this fall and go to Kindergarten next year since she was born in Feb. Any thoughts on that? Did any of you wait till your child was 6 before starting kindergarten?
*More details: She is academically ready. She knows her alphabets, simple math, writes her name and can read Bob books,etc. But we are concerned about her socially. She is very petite and rigid in her thinking. We went to orientation and she didn't get to participate in some activities because the other kids got in front of her and she didn't tell the teacher she didn't get a turn.
We are worried she would get left behind. Our school is also supposed to be highly rated but if she is already "lost" in the crowd at orientation, I am concerned about the rest of the school year. My family also mature late physically. I didn't get my period or wear a bra till I was 16. But then, I finished school early and got admitted to college at 16. I wouldn't say it affected my life adversely. I finished my masters at 22 and had a good life. But my husband and his brother started school a year late because of social deficits and his nephews also started a year late. The counselor is not worried about her academically, but socially. She also says it is better to start late then to repeat kindergarten.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

I can't see why anyone would do that. She would be 6 1/2 when she started. Kindergarten is for 5 year olds, and she'd be seven in kindy! When is your cutoff date? If it's in the fall, she could be going to school with kids a year and a half younger! Those would not be her peers. She could be made fun of for being so much older (are you left back? are you dumb? are you a giant? girls in fourth grade with a rack because they're turning 11 and the other kids are 9 don't feel that they fit in with the immature other kids). I don't see an advantage of being so much older than your schoolmates. She's not close to the cutoff date where you might question whether to send her.

5 moms found this helpful
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T.A.

answers from Seattle on

No the Only people who usually consider waiting have boys that turn 5 in August. A girl who will be 5.5 should most likely be ready for kindergarten in fall! It's mostly socially ready they say.

4 moms found this helpful
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S.F.

answers from Madison on

I think you should send her this fall. Otherwise she would be 6 and 1/2 when going. Too old if she is a typical child. Most people who hold their kids another year have summer birthdays. If you are concerned about her transition, enroll her in some summer programs/camps so she can get used to the structure and being away from you.

4 moms found this helpful

✤.J.

answers from Dover on

My daughter is also a February baby. She started kindergarten when she was 5, not 6. She's right in the middle, not the youngest kid in her class, or the oldest. My son is an August baby, so he started school only a few weeks after turning 5. He is definitely one of, if not THE youngest kid in his class (currently in 7th grade) & it's never been an issue.

Unless there are some issues going on with her development or her maturity, I don't see any reason why you would wait a full year & have her older than everyone else throughout her school career.

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M.O.

answers from New York on

Honestly, this sounds like it could cause all kinds of problems down the road, esp. for a girl. If she starts kindergarten a year and a half after her peers, then she'll also hit puberty a year and a half before her peers. More often than not, that leads to harassment, bullying, shame, and the kind of stereotyping you do NOT want to for your daughter. I'm assuming -- unless there are other issues you haven't mentioned -- that the counselor was concerned she'd had limited socialization for her age. If so, I think summer camp, not a whole extra year of preschool, would be in order.

Best wishes,

Mira

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J.D.

answers from Philadelphia on

my child started kindergarten at an early 5.. she transitioned well even though I have been a stay at home her whole life and she has never been to school.

It really depends on your child's maturaty and how you will think they will do once they hit that age.. if they are going to have seperation anxiety then I would see if they have summer camps in your area for Kindergarten Readiness instead of delaying it a year.

Call the school district and see if maybe your child can sit in the Kindergarten class for a day and see how she likes it and if she does ok then I would say enroll her but testing the waters is the most important thing.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

In 2013?
Why not now in the Fall?
Usually, kids are held back if they are late-born.
And if the Kinder entry age is 5 and she meets that and the cut off, then fine.

Both my kids are late born. Boy and girl.
They entered Kinder at 4 and turning 5 shortly after that.
They were fine both academically and socially and emotionally.
And they are still fine.

SOME schools, will enter a child into 1st Grade, if they are entering school at 6 years old. So, make sure with the school that your child would be attending.

**Adding this: both of my kids, have a couple of classmates that are petite and small. Despite their age. My kids are in Kinder and 4th grade.
And those "petite" kids, have NOT suffered at all nor gotten lost in the shuffle and they have friends. And are fine.

Lots of kids, can tend to be "rigid" in their thinking. They are young.
Instead of taking these things as givens, you also need to teach your child to speak up/how to stand up for herself, how to express herself, and how to socialize. Some kids are introverts and some are extroverts. And both types, need to learn this. And then they will become self-assured.
But you need to teacher her.... how.
It is not her size.
That should not be a handicap for her.

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B.B.

answers from New York on

I think you need to speak to the school and the counselor and ask some more detailed questions. Why is it that they think she would not be successful? Maybe they can suggest some programs or activities you can do with your child over the next few months to help her better adjust in the fall. She would be the oldest child in the class unless you count the kids with disabilities.

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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My son's preschool teacher told me that she didn't think he would be ready and he was a March birthday. Can't tell you how happy I am that I did NOT listen to her. He was more than ready and is the most advanced boy reader in the second grade now. Unless she is really immature I would send her. You have until the fall to decide anyhow-if it makes you feel better sign up for both and pull out of one.

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S.C.

answers from Seattle on

I would wait! My daughter was born in December and started first grade in a city where the cut-off date for birthdays was Dec. 31. We were transferred to another city where the cut-off date was Labor Day. They accepted her, but I wish I would have known what was ahead. She, too, was academically ready and did great -- that is, until she reached third grade. Not only was she the smallest in the class, she was also the youngest. Some kids in her class had been held back which made them almost two years older than her. I spent every night in her fourth and fifth grade years going over the class work that was taught that day. She was smart enough to understand what I was teaching her, but she couldn't grasp it in the classroom. She eventually overcame it and was able to do her own work, but those two years were not easy for her -- or me! Again, I say wait! She is now a practicing attorney with a master's degree in law.

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D..

answers from Charlotte on

Was this counselor the guidance counselor at the school? Did she test your child for school readiness?

If it is, and she did, then she is telling you that your daughter is not ready to go to school. Some children are too immature. Some children aren't school ready. You need to know which one it is, or if it is both.

You should also ask where YOUR child falls in the age brackett of the other children starting school in the fall. Will she be the youngest of the group? Different states start children at different ages, so I can't tell you what Oregon does. My own son, born several months after yours, would have been the youngest in his class if we had started him in kinder then. Our guidance counselor tested him, and recommended another year of preschool to give him time to mature, and give him time to learn more. I've never regretted waiting for him to go. It was the best thing I could have done.

So, go have another talk with this person. Good luck with your decision.
Dawn

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B.C.

answers from Dallas on

No. Start her. My LO will be almost 6 when she starts and she's hyperactive, but I still feel like it's a little late to start her. She's academically ready to start now, but not maturity-wise. She'll be well ready in the fall of 2013!
I watch 3 kids who are going to be starting Kinder in the fall and yes, I can tell who might do the best (birthdays of Jan. 2012, Feb.2012, and March. 2012) but they are all ready to go!

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B.G.

answers from Champaign on

What is the cutoff? In Illinois, the cutoff is Sept 1.

My son is in a class called Transitional Kindergarten. Our school district screen all the incoming kindergarteners to try and group them and make that first year a little easier for all. My son was recommended for this Transitional Kindergarten class, an extra year of kindergarten for any child who meets the age requirement but is just not quite ready, for whatever reason. My son happens to have a late July birthday. I was thrilled, as I did seem hims struggling socially in preschool and thought he needed the extra year.

There are 11 kids in his class - 9 boys, 2 girls and 9 June/July/August birthdays, 1 February, 1 March. I say this because more often than not, if there is a concern that a child wait an extra year to begin kindergarten, it is because they are a boy with a summer birthday. That doesn't mean that's the only reason.

Generally speaking, I would say, "A girl with a February birthday? No way!" However, if the counselor who recommended this has works for the schools, met with your daughter and has a very specific concern about your daughter, I'd at least ask them to talk to me about what their concerns are. Maybe they're valid, maybe they are not. But I would at least want to know why they thought my daughter was not ready.

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M.B.

answers from Austin on

I would not hold her back at this point unless there are other issues you aren't telling us about. She would be much older than her classmates.

If you are concerned about her adapting to a more structured environment, get her in some programs this summer. You could use vacation Bible Schools, day camps, art programs, things like that.

2 moms found this helpful

K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

All 4 of my boys have October birthdays (missed the cut-off date) so they all turned 6 less than a month into K and it has been OK...but I had no choice in the matter and I in all honesty I DO NOT LIKE the fact that they will all be 18 years old less than a month into their Senior years and can legally check themselves in and out whenever they want. I hope they all turn out to be good kids! Ha!

My one and only daughter (the baby of the family) was born in February 2008. She has had 1 year of preschool and will go to another year of Pre-K at the same preschool this school year (Sept. 2012) and will start K at 5 in the fall of 2013....like she is supposed to.

Preschool is NOT necessary. If my in-laws didn't pay for my kids they wouldn't go. I say let her go when she is supposed to go. She will learn all the things she needs to learn just like every other child in her class. There will *always* be kids who are MORE and LESS advanced from your child regardless of when you start them.

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W.T.

answers from Jacksonville on

Sounds like she is the perfect age to start. She will already be in the mid to older group if she starts this coming year. There will be kids in her class that turn will 5 in late July and August. If you wait, she'll turn 7 and other kids will still be 5.

I would suggest kindergarten workbooks over the summer. Do as many as you can to prepare her.

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

is she socially-adaptive? Does she function well within a group? Does she respond to other adults?

Both of my sons went to school after 5 & it was the best thing ever for them! My older son had no choice/option. His bd was 5 weeks+ past the cutoff, & at that time, the school district had a "no exceptions" rule.

My younger son turned 5 just 4 days before the cutoff. Socially & academically he was prepared, but he could not stay focused. He spent that year in a Bridges Program which the district offered. 1 girl & the rest was all boys....all at the same stage developmentally as my son.

Absolute best decision ever made! He's 15 now, & the class above him - are total stinkers. By contrast, his class is surpassing benchmarks left & right! It is amazing how connected they are....& the school's administration is having to rewrite the rules for them. I truly believe the sheer # of older kids in the class makes a difference!

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C.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I would not hold her back. She will be one of the oldest in the class and might get bored. She would also turn 7 when she is still in K. My daughter is a March baby and she just turned 7 and is going into 2nd grade this fall. As long as she is socially ready then just do it. She will have a blast!

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G.S.

answers from New York on

Both my girls are winter babies, my oldest is 14 & in the 8th grade b/c of how her b-day fell. Her pre-school teacher wanted us to have her tested to start kindergarten early but we chose not too. My main reason was because I felt that if my daughter were as advanced as they thought she was, she could always move ahead a class, which by the way she hasn't. This past year has been one of her hardest and I truly believe that we did her much justice by leaving well enough alone. The professionals are hired to do a job and if they tell you they don't think your daughter is ready, that would be more then enough of an answer for me. As I mentioned, this is a decision you have to make but in my opinion it's something that you may want to keep the advice of the professionals involved in as well. Best of luck to you.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.N.

answers from Dallas on

My son turned 5 2 weeks before the cut off. A young boy. He was accademically ready and I didnt want to basically tell him he wasnt good enough. I wanted him to try it and if it didnt work out, then fine. He is still the rowdy one and the youngest and has a hard time with the maturity, but is great at the work. EVERYONE we talked to suggested waiting until he was 6 but my thought was then if he were ever to get help back, he would be so much older than everyone. Follow your gut, but dont let orientation worry you. She is just not acclimated and if she is not exposed to that, she wont ever be ready. I say go for it. Whats the worst that could happen? SHe could repeat K, ohh, ahh, a lot of people do.

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

Unless your daughter is physically very very small or has other issues, I think Sara F has it right. Structure and socialization are important so use the summer to have her experience that. I've taught in several schools and have not seen kids starting kindergarten and 6.5 years of age.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Where my son goes to school you must be 5 yrs old on or before Sep 30 to begin kindergarten.
My son has a late Oct birthday.
So he was 5 for about 2 months in kindergarten and then turned 6.
He's usually the oldest in his class unless there are earlier Oct birthdays and it's worked out very well for him (although he often feels the rest of the class moves at a pace that's too slow for him - we have to work to keep him from getting bored).
In general for boys I think a later start is better since they sometimes have trouble sitting still and concentrating if they are on the younger side.
Girls tend to mature a bit sooner than boys and many are fine starting at 5 and a few do well if they are 4 1/2 or close to 5.
But there are always exceptions.
Being older than your peers in kindergarten means she'll be older than her peers in high school (she'll get her drivers license before they do).
Does she need an extra year to mature or is she ready to learn now?
You know your child best.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Unless your child has some diagnosed social or learning delay, I would not hold her back.

My son is an April child. He started Kinder that following Sept. with no issues.
My daughter missed the Sept cut off by a few weeks. She is now 5 1/2, will be 6 shortly after she starts Kinder this fall. I so wish they had let her in this year. She is becoming rebellious because she fells that all of the kids at her daycare are some much younger (2y - 4y) and she doesn't want to be with the 'babies' all day.

If it were me, I would send your daughter to Kinder. At worse, she has a problem, and is asked to repeat Kinder. That would be the same senario you are proposing.

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J.B.

answers from Rochester on

I am a Feb. baby, I did not go to preschool or pre-K, I started kindergarten in the fall when I was 5 and didn't have any problems in school.
I would not wait until your child is 6 to start kindergarten.

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

I could understand if she was born during the summer monts, but February? No, I wouldn't delay. If you did she could end up being almost a year and a half older than some of the other kids if they're put in early. My son has a late July birthday and their are days when I think I should have held him back since he was barely 5 when school started, but I would not have ought twice if his birthday was earlier in the year.

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A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

my son was 5 at the end of september and we waited, but he was a sqirrelly, wiggly, sqirmy little boy. he did great socially and academically at his preschool, i just didn't think he was ready (and i don't think he made the cutoff anyway). but feb is a lot different. and she's a girl so just by looking at the facts you give i don't see any reason she should wait.

unless she is behind in some aspect like socially? that might be what the counselor was worried about, if she hasn't been in a setting like that before. preschool is less structured with lots more focus on playtime, and they teach them to get in line, sit quietly during "working" time, etc. that'd be my only concern without her going to preschool. but lots of kids go to kindergarten without going to preschool first. when i was a kid very few kids went to preschool first. it's just a trend like any other. the only difference is now days i think more kindergartens are designed with it in mind that most kids do go to preschool first. so the curriculum may be more advanced than it was years ago when more kids didn't go to preschool. but i don't know that for a fact, just the impression i have gotten in preparing my son for kindergarten in the fall. good luck whatever you decide...

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P.K.

answers from New York on

So she will be almost 6 1/2 starting K. She will turn 7 in K. I would not do
that. Send her this year. It is only May. It is amazing how they grow up
over the summer.

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

Ther best way to learn to deal with kindergarden.. is to enroll in the class. Preschool is good for 4 year olds.. mostly free play with some structure.. our preschool has 20-30 blocks of structure and then 30 minutes of free play..

Kindergarten is all structure with maybe 30 minutes of free play all day..

My daughter is in kinder.. the material is taught very slowly.. it is not at all challenging for her..

I would enroll her in kinder and let her adjust to it.. if she is overwhelmed after a while .. take her out .. but the best way to get used to it.. is to get in the class.

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

She sounds ready and is no where near "young" for her grade (if your cut-off is Aug/Sept). She'll be really old on the other end...turning 16 in 9th grade and 19 half way through her senior year. Some of the most amazing, well-adjusted kiddos in my son's school never went to preschool.

Send her and make sure you are very in touch with her progress and the teacher. I volunteer ALL THE TIME at school. I do art projects on Fridays, go to lunch once a week, substitute occasionally, go on all field trips, and communicate regularly with the teacher. Trust me, my kid is not going to get lost in any shuffle!

Oh, and I'm 34 and still don't need a bra!

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Sorry. I cannot understand this new fad to make kids wait to start kindergarten. I am emphatically opposed to it.

Kids are supposed to be 5 years old when they start kindergarten. Then they turn 6 while they are there. Then they are 17 when they start their senior year and turn 18. Ready to go off to college as a legal adult.

I think if a child is not smart enough to do the work they should still at least try. If they cannot do the work they should repeat it but as for not even giving them a chance to succeed...I do not agree that is a good idea.

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A.C.

answers from Atlanta on

This is odd. Redshirting, or holding a child back a year so that they are older, usually applies only to children born in August or September, near the cut-off, and sometimes July or October. A child born in February would fall directly in the middle of her class, age-wise, and be neither the oldest or the youngest child in the class, so the usual concerns that the child would be behind don't really apply. I wonder why this was recommended for a February baby? If your child is socially behind, this is something to consider. If your child is socially normal, I don't really see why you would.

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S.C.

answers from Seattle on

My son is in kindy this year at age six. He has a late August birthday and for us, it was the right decision. The was/is very young emotionally and socially and we felt he needed the 'extra' year in pre-k. He has done so well this year and his teacher commends us for waiting to start him. Many of the young kindergarteners are just so impulsive and lacking in self control. I help out in the classroom weekly and can tell you which ones are young fives and which one's aren't. In the end, you really have to go with your instincts. I had my son registered one day for kindy and unregistered the very next day. I just felt wrong to send him, when I felt he wasn't prepared. I felt such a relief when the decision was made to delay kindy. I don't know anyone who has regretted delaying, but plenty who have regretted sending their children too soon. My older son was a young/immature five when he started and is now in fourth grade. This year has been such a struggle for him and I know it will only get more challenging from here. Wish I had considered redshirting for him.

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think 6.5 is much too late to start kindergarten. She is academically ready and really needs to go this fall, in my opinion. If you need to work on her social skills, get her involved in some other activities this summer. Look into camps through your city, sports teams, gymnastics or dance classes, etc. There are plenty of ways to get your child in various social situations and prepare her for kinder this fall. Where I am, our schools offer a "kindergarten jumpstart" for four weeks in the summer to help kids get ready for kinder. It's a great way to help prepare them. We also have an Early Childhood Learning Center that offer many different kindergarten readiness programs.

My son turns 5 next week and he's definitely going. I can't imagine waiting another full year to send him.

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M.S.

answers from Seattle on

I would definitely start her this fall. February is a great month, they're right in the middle. As a Montessori teacher, naturally, I think you should send her to Montessori school for her Kindergarten year. In addition to everything else the children are exposed to, social skills and life skills are a huge part of the curriculum. In case you have any doubts in those areas, you won't by the end of Montessori kindergarten.

H.G.

answers from Dallas on

my daughter turned 5 in march and she will not start kinder this year. She is not ready, plain and simple. Just because they are of age doesn't mean it has to be forced on them. She's your child and you know her best. Don't let what others think make you choose to do something your not comfortable with.
Good luck!

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M.G.

answers from Philadelphia on

I'm sure your daughter wouldn't be the only child there who didn't go to pre-k. I think you should send her. She will have the year in a formal school setting to mature and it seems like she needs that. Many preschools don't offer that much structure so I'm not sure what good that would do and she would be a lot older than the other kids. My son has a late October birthday and was not totally academically ready to enter because of the structure of his preschool. He has grown so much this year in Kindergarten and I can tell you we didn't think of holding him back last fall. She will grow a lot more if she enters school with her peers in my opinion. Take the summer to do day camp and socialize her a bit more. The schools and teachers know how to work with the kids and thy usually do screenings to place your child with he "right" teacher.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

Having a son now 1st grade who is a little behind in his social skills and his maturity, if I could do it over I would have definitely held him back a year.

The extra year would have really helped him out in the social skills department and would have made for a much smoother academic process the last two years. I have even thought of holding him back a year. This brings a whole new set of challenges though so we will probably leave it be.

Don't rush her. If you get the sense that she isn't ready then she isn't. You know her best. Go with your M. instincts. It will only help her in the long run.

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