Breastfeeding at a Year.

I understand how you are feeling. People seem to think it is okay to comment on every little thing you do different than them. I have done some "unconventional" things with my daughter but she always comes around on her own. She slept in my bed until she was 3 but then she moved to her own bed by herself. I also let her wean herself from her bottle when she wanted to which happend to be age 2. I realize that there are guidlines out there that suggest these things are not wise but I feel that it was right for our family and we haven't suffered any negative consequences for these actions. Yes she has been to the dentist and she still doesn't have any cavities, I was careful to brush her teeth after a bottle. So not everything is written in stone. I just tell people I'm glad that worked for your family but this is what works for ours and I always put my child's best interests first not what other parents perceive. Good Luck and hang in there.

I nursed my daughter til she was 2, she would not take my milk out of a bottle, she wouldn't drink anything out of a bottle, she didn't eat anything, and if I stopped nursing she would lose weight. society likes to put a negative vibe on breastfeeding, shame on society. You are doing what is best for you and your child, so chin up, your doing great!!!

Hi J.

I so know where you are coming from. I had those kinds of comments with both of my girls and I nursed one until she was 3 1/2 and the other stopped at 2. I heard everything you can thing of and I just told them it was my child and none of their business.

You are doing a wonderful thing...don't let others make you feel dirty or ashamed for any of it. THEY should be ashamed of themselves for butting in!

I breastfed my son till he was 2, and a second son till he was around 14 months. If someone asked when I was going to stop , I just said when he doesn't need it any more. The reason I breastfed the first till 2 was because he liked the bonding that occured. I think people do not realize that there is more to breastfeeding than just feeding. It builds a strong bond between mother and child. I have saw this clearly because I was unable to breastfed my first 2 children and I did the second 2. There is a strong bond with the last 2 that I credit breastfeeding as the cause. I hope this helps.

Simply tell them how long your child nurses is none of thier buisness. I have a friend that is nurseing her 3 yr old and 2 yr old.

Hi J.,

I did not breastfeed my first baby, but I did it with my second baby, and it was a wonderful experience (after the first two months...) and I think it is the best. I could not keep breastfeeding him, and I felt sad, but I did what I could in my best way. You are doing the best you can with your baby, and you, J., are doing great. Just do not listen to others' comments, it is your baby and your life and you do not have to say anything at all or give any explanation or comment.
Good luck and congratulations!!!

Alejandra

your right J., it isn't any of their business how long you decide to nurse your son. i only nursed for 4 months becuase it got to be too much of a hassle for me to pump at work. so i switched to formula. some women never even try to nurse and others nurse thair babies till they are 2 or 3. so whatever feels right for you and your son, is what you should do.

I wouldn't sweat what other people think. If it wasn't breastfeeding it would be something else...everyone has an opinion they want to share. I nursed my daughter till she was 20 months old. I either ignored the comments or pointed out how great breastmilk is. If you are still enjoying it and he is still enjoying, why stop? I remember my child's dr trying to make me start solids and slowly wean my child at 6 months old and seemed put off when I said I didn't plan to start solids until they were a year old. This last visit she asked me if I was feeding her food yet. When I said no I fully expected the same old speech but this time she says "That's great, she can go straight from nursing to table food and you won't have to mess with baby food" Finally she gets it! It helps that the American Pediatric Association recommends nursing for a year or more now :)

K.

I understand where you are coming from with this one. My mother-in-law has been pestering me about weening since my 12 month old son was 9 months. When we visited her during Christmas break, she would make silly comments when I was breastfeeding like, "Doesn't that hurt?" and "I hope you know you are spoiling him!" to which I would reply, "No," and "That's what mothers do best," and go about my business.

The best way to respond to insensitive, uninformed friends/realtives/co-workers is to always turn it around to a positive thing. If you get negative and defensive, they will feel justified in rudely commenting on something that is clearly none of their business. And since you probably want to avoid a battle anyway, it's not necessary to go into the benefits of breastfeeding...unless you really feel the need to do so.

I'll give you some short answer examples:

Q: "So how long you plan on doing THAT"
A: As long as this sweet little guy will let me.

Q: "Gosh, J., he's one!"
A: I know! Isn't it great? I am so proud that I have been able to feed him this long.

And, always be sure to give them your brightest smile afterwards. After all, how long you choose to breatfeed should be a decision made in regards to both you and your child and your situation, and you owe no one an explanation.

Ignore them. You do what feels right to you. Even your pediatrician will tell you there is nothing wrong with what you're doing right now. Remember that the 1st birthday is an abitrary cut off. We all know it's good to nurse for the first year, but it doesn't hurt anything to nurse longer than that.

My first son weaned himself at 11 months and never looked back. My second son, 18 months younger than the first, had no interest in quitting. I finally forced him to stop at 22 months because I couldn't take it anymore! In fact, he was so dedicated that I had a breast lump removed when he was 18 months, so I had 2 inches of stitches and a wacky milk supply which I was sure would make him stop. No way -- he checked out the stitches and kept right on going :)

I'm sure you know this from your two older children -- kids his developmental milestones when they feel like it. It's just hard when people criticize. Ignore them and go with your instincts. Some kids just need the comfort. My son, the late weaner, is now 27 months and will still ask to nurse sometimes. (I always say no because I don't want to go back to it again.) But he insists on putting his hand on my bellybutton area, skin to skin, when he is tired or needs comfort.

Try not to worry :)

K.

J., I nursed my now 16 month old daughter Iris until her 15 month birthday. She was ready and I was ready. I think that if you and your partner are ok with it, then it's ok. As long as you are confident in your decision your friends will get the hint that you are a confident momma and know what is best for you and your little man. It's great what you are doing. I really hope other peoples responses don't spoil it too much for you. Happy breastfeeding!!

Well I know how you feel. I only breastfeed until my son was 11 months not because of what people were saying but my body just kinda quit producing. But there is no easy way to tell people to leave you alone. They would ask the same question of me and I would tell them that when my body or my son was ready to quit that's when I would quit. It is not uncommon in other countries to nurse unitl a child is three years old so if you're son is only a year do it as long as you are comfortable with.

YOU are the mama. You and you alone decide what is best for your baby. Breastfeeding is the most wonderful thing in the world that a mama can do for their child. My daughter is 16 months and we will stop nursing soon. NOT because I want to but because SHE wants to and my milk is drying up. I am very sad about it all coming to an end. You are blessed to be able to stay home with your child and blessed to be able to breastfeed. It really is no one's business. I would just be assertive (DEFINATLEY NOT ashamed)and firmly tell them that their comments have negative connotations and you prefer them to not comment on breastfeeding. And just say, "I know what's right for my child."
As a first time mama I received so much advice and people telling me what's normal and not normal. I, sometimes, worried myself sick over something that was not a big deal. I've learned over the last 16 months that like I said at the begining of this post that I am the mama and I will follow my instincts and at times let my daughter lead me and "tell" me what she needs.
Good luck to you! Keep nursing as long as you can!!!!

1 year in the MINIMUM, not the sudden age where they should be weaned. DOn't give in the pressure to wean when neither you or your son is ready to wean.

The longer he nurses, the longer he receives the benefits of mother's milk, both physical and psychological. :o)

I am sad for babies who are never nursed, there are so many benefits and they don't suddenly go away at an arbitrary age.

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html

http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/norma_jane_bumgarner.html

http://parenting.ivillage.com/tp/tpweaning/0,,3x5j,00.html

http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/breastfeeding/...

FYI: Michael Jordan was nursed until he was three years old. Just an interesting tidbit.

HTH,
M.- momma to a girl who weaned at 20mo, a boy who weaned at 32mo and another girl who is (of course) nursing at 9mo

a friend of mine has a 23 month old son that just weaned the past 2 weeks. *hug* a lot of ppl I know nurse up to 2 years

J.,

Good for you that you are doing what is best for you and your baby! I just had to write because I too suffered criticism from others when breastfeeding my children and could not believe a couple of the rude comments posted back to you. You were asking for support of others from mamasource and some replied in an insulting attitude about BF and that is what you are tired of! Anyway, I breastfed both my girls until they were 1. My youngest was ready to wean by then. My oldest probably would have nursed longer but I felt pressure from family to wean her and I have always somewhat regretted that decision. My advice is to do what is best for you and your child and ignore others. YOu two are the ones who live with the results! Good luck to you both and hang in there!

J., congratulations! You are my hero for being able to breastfeed for one year! You are the mommy and you know what is right for your little one. What a great feeling to be able to have such a bond. I say keep doing what you think is right, the others who make comments had their turn..., now it's yours!

Out of 8 kids, I breast fed 7 of them. Mine stopped nursing by the time they started walking as they liked the freedom of being able to move about the house with a cup as opposed to having to sit where I was until they were done. Most kids go on whole milk when they turn a year old...regardless if they're breast or formula fed. Either way, at his age, he needs to learn to start using a cup even it's just for juice or water. I would recommend starting with the nubby cups. Instead of the hard plastic mouth piece, it has the sylicone nipple type of mouth piece. It is spill proof. The only thing that sucks about it is that the part that makes it spill proof wears out fast, but the cups are only like a dollar anyway at wal-mart. And you can still hold him while he drinks from his cup as close as you would if he were taking your breast. Now you said that he feeds 4 to 5 times a day? How about making 2 of those feedings milk and the other 3 breast milk as he should have I think like 12 ounces of whole milk a day...you could split that up between 2 feedings and give him breast milk for the rest.

Im with everyone else when I say, whatever works for you and your son, and whatever you are comfortable with, you should keep doing.

However, I do get peeved by the breastfeeding zealots that try to make it sound like you cant raise a healthy child without it, or if you dont BF for at least a year, you are somehow not as good of a mother as one who will, or you somehow cant bond as tightly with your baby without it. BS I say...but Im sure there are arguers.

I have 4 kids, I bottlefed the first 2 and breastfed the last 2. Honestly, there is NO difference in my kids and their overall health, nor is there a difference in my bond with any of them. Infact, one of my breastfed babies (bf'd for 11 mos)is the one of the 4 that I would say is the least attached to me, but I chalk that up to his personality, hes a solitary kind of kid and isnt real lovey or needy. There are SO many other factors that play a role in health and bonding besides how they were fed as an infant. It isnt the end all be all.
My two oldest children both have genius level IQ's and are both gifted musically as well as academically. They were the bottlefed babies. Neither of them have ever been sickly, rarely anything other than an occasional cold and one is 19 and the other is 16. I think mothers worry too much about this stuff and really it is only a small factor in the grand scheme of things.

Bottom line, do what works for you and your baby, if both of you are happy with the situation as is, that can only be a good thing.

Hey J.
I am a mother of 5 (including a set of twins) and all were nursed my 8mo. old is still nursing and will until we are ready to stop. Mine all nursed until 2.5 Years I didn't plan it that way it was just how it worked out. If you are still happy to nurse then keep on doing it. What I suggest is you arm yourself with statistics. It usually silences people. Like the fact that a childs immune system doesn't mature until they are about 5 yrs old so the longer you nurse the more protected your child will be. The longer a child is nursed the better protected you both are for a number of different cancers. How you have a lower risk for osteoporosis if you nurse longer. That your child will have a lower risk for obesity and diabetes because you are nursing that long term your child will have better health outcomes and that immunizations will be more effective because you are still nursing. That he will be a more independent adult and deal with stress better because he is nursed.( Recent study showed that children that were breastfed dealt with stressful situations like divorce better than those that were bottlefed) Bonding and care teach a child to be more secure in themselves. All my children are very bonded to me but can all deal with separation and are independent because they are secure that if they need me I will be there. If they chose to bottlefeed or wean early that was their choice but all you can say is this is your child and you are going to do the best you can because to you your son's health and well being is more important than that person's or societies issues and he is not going to pay the price for their ignorance. Arm yourself with statistics and people will usually let it go. There are no statistics that make bottlefeeding or early weaning better for any child. Your baby is blessed because he has you for a mother. From a fellow breastfeeding mom who was a breastfed baby.
J.

It is absolutly none of their business. Just ignore all of their comments. I have an 18 month old daughter and a baby boy due in July. I breastfed my daughter until she was about 15 months old and the only reason I stopped is because I was pregnant again and it was just wearing me out. My daughter sounds a lot like your son. She has always completely refused to take a bottle or a binky. I finally got her to start taking juice and breastmilk out of a nuby sippy cup, but I only used those during the day if I was in public, and the only reason I didn't put her on the breast is because she had just gotten to big. If you ask any pediatrician they'll tell you to breastfeed until your child is two if you can handle it that long. I am a firm believer in the fact that breastfeed babies are healthier babies. My girlfriend had a baby about a month after I did (which she breastfeed for about 6 months)and my sister-in-law had a baby five wks after me (which she breastfeed for a few days). Both of their girls have had numerous ear infections, one has had a bladder infection, and they both have had countless fevers and colds. My daughter has never been sick. Not even just once. My advice is to stick with what you believe in and what you can handle. He'll stop when he's ready. It's better for the baby in the long run.

J., I breastfeed my daughter till she was 16 months. You do what feels right for you. If you are able to breast feed your lil one go for it. Don't let them get to you. You are the mother of that sweet lil boy.

Hi J., there is absolutly no problem with what you are doing.
My first child a girl nursed for 2 years. You'll know when the time is right. It is hard to stop so quickly. It takes about 3 days and nights of crying. Try introducing a cup of his favorite drink. Maybe all he really wants is to be with you. Hope this helps. By the way my daughter is going to be 16 soon and she is just fine I do have 2 other girls.

J..... All I can say is GOOD FOR YOU. I know that it is hard when other mothers seem to judge what you do, but breast feeding yout son is one of the best things you can do for him. I was not able to breastfee (my milk didn't come in) and I only wish I was in your situation. Just try to remember that no matter what they say you are doing a great thing for your sons health and nutrition.

I would just tell them that the World Health Organization RECOMMENDS breastfeeding until at least 2 years old, and as long thereafter as desired by the baby. I would just be honest with your friends, and tell them that their comments are making you uncomfortable. There are babies that drink from bottles until they are 2 years old, but no one seems to mind that-I breastfed my son until he was almost 18 months old, and I breastfed my daughter until she was 18 months, so I personally think that it's great that you're still breastfeeding. I would have breastfed longer if I could have. I would try to find La Leche in your area and maybe talk with one of their lactation consultants, because I know they can offer support and suggestions on how to deal with insensitive comments from others. The bottom line is, Jaylen is your little baby, and the longer you breastfeed him, the better. If it makes your friends uncomfortable, that is their issue, not yours :) I hope something I said helps.

~N.

Hi, I am a breastfeeding mother buthe is still only 5 months old. I just wanted to say something about one of the responses you got somewhere down this line. I couldn't believe they said something about the CPS coming and knocking on your door. When I went to WIC about my first child, the breastfeeding specialist there was still breastfeeding her four year old. And do you know that in other countries they do the same thing? They breastfeed until three and four years of age. What do you think people did before formula? I was appalled at some of the responses you got. People should be supporting you or not commenting at all. Yes people are entitled to their oppinions but obviously you have enough negative oppinions already or you wouldn't be writing here. I know my son is only five months but I can't imagine weaning him anytime soon. We enjoy it too much. Thanks. And good luck to you.

J., first of all...WAY to GO! I just re-read some of the other advice and breastfeeding is NEVER GROSS...at any age! Breastfeeding is natural and NORMAL, babies, when left to their own will wean when they are ready. Some at 9 months, some at 3 years. Not all doctors are breastfeeding educated...just because they recommend weaning doesn't mean they're right. Really, I will try to answer without jumping on my soapbox. First, check out breastfeeding.com they have tons of cute comebacks. You might try something funny...like "well Michael Jordin was breastfed for 3 years and his dad really wants him to play basketball." Something serious like, "this is what works for us right now, and doctors recommend breastfeeding through the second year of life" again, true...check out AAP statement on breastfeeding. Smart alecky..."I know he is still nursing..but we plan to wean before kindergarten!". People seem to feel like they can put their opinions on others...only problem here is you are correct and doing a good thing. AND, he's only a year...stil a BABY. So hang in there, don't listen to them...look in your little guys eyes while he's nursing and you will find what to say that works for you. Me-I find a way to nurse as much as I can when I'm around folks like that:) Just so you know..I am a lactation consultant AND a mom to 2 girls who breastfed 19 months and 2 1/2 years!

Honestly, breastfeeding, pacifiers, and bottles are as controversial as abortion it seems. The two subjects are very much on different levels of seriousness, but the controversy factor is the same. People either think it's right or wrong, with only a few exceptions.

I personally think that breastfeeding, bottles, and pacifiers are things that should be stopped at 1-1/2 years of age. BUT, I'll tell you why I think this. I truly believe that as a child approaches the age of two, they start to really latch on to material things for security. This is the age where they either learn to calm themselves down with little help from mom (I'm talking about those times when the crying is for no particular reason except for grumpiness), or they completely become reliant upon their bottle, binky, or mothers boob as a means to be calm. I believe that if you can wean them off of things around a year, there are no withdrawals from the objects. I personally weaned my kids off their "binky" at 6-9 months because at that point, they weren't "babies" anymore. And in my humble opinion, pacifiers were only meant to be used for newborns because their only natural instinct they have when they first are born is to suck. Pacifiers were definitely not initially invented to be sucked on by toddlers, and absolutely not for young children, but like I said, that's a personal opinion. I believe that parents use them as a "plug" once the child is past the baby phase, that's why I didn't use them after 6-9 months. And, if you are a mother of a child who sucks on a pacifier at the ages of 2 and up, just start watching and take notice of the times that they start to show signs of getting upset. You'll see very quickly that you are frantically searching for the binky when you're in a store and your child starts acting up. You tell your child to get their binky when you're at home and they seem tired or cranky. It's not hard to see what the real reason behind not wanting to get rid of the binky as a parent is. Trust me, it was an obstacle for me too, because at night when my baby woke up, I would always put the pacifier in their mouth and they'd go back to sleep. BUT, that's what I'm saying though, you and your child become reliant on something other than our own natural human instincts to calm them down. This is the most amazing learning part of their lives. I believed I owed it to my child to have them learn how to calm themselves down without the material things. My children never even took to a blanket or particular stuffed animal. They just weren't brought up to rely on anything but their own minds and my love to be calm downed with. Both their bottle and formula I took away at age 1, but like I said, it's because I wanted my child to not become dependent on it. Both of my children didn't cry for their bottle ONE TIME. That tells you that 1 just happens to be a good age to take things away without having your child (and you) suffer.

They're personal choices, as much of motherhood is, but you can't get mad at people's opinions, because they are just as mortified by other people's choices as those people are of theirs. So, do what you want to do, but remember that the longer you allow your child to be attached to something in particular, the harder it's going to be on you and your child to take it away later.

J. this is the age where he should start being weened. I have seen mothers breastfeeding when the kid looked like they were 3 years of age and walking around with a pacifier in thier mouths...which is one of my pet peeves. Anyway..at this age he should be drinking out of a sipper cup most of the time.

I have seen kids 2 and 3 years old in stores grabbing thier mothers shirts trying to lift thier shirts and fighting thier mothers to feed....I was embarressed watching it happen. Yes breastfeeding might have benefits, but when it comes to your child fighting you pulling your shirt up in public. Ive known many moms that breastfeed and each of them had this same problem, they were completely mortified and didnt know how to get them to stop til they had to completely stop breastfeeding.

YES all of us can give you advice all day long, but the final decision is yours. Ive heard from drs. that babies should start weening at the age of 1 reguardless if they are bottle or breastfed.

Think about this also....when he gets older and he remembers being breatfed at the age of 2, 3 and 4 what kind of affect that will have on him. Then one day the subject of it comes up somewhere maybe during sex eductation perhaps and he lets it be known that he was breastfed at an older age and see who comes knocking at your door..CPS because to them it will be this "dirty thing" that older kids should not be doing. Like i have stated before..i was told by drs to start weaning at the age of 1..not 2 not 3 not 4..but at the age of 1.

The AAP says to breastfeed for AT LEAST 1 year and then continue for as long as you and the child want to. The World Health Organization says AT LEAST 2 YEARS. There are MANY health benefits for mom and baby for breastfeeding past 1 year. Moms gets >significant< reduction in risk of breast cancer is she breastfeeds for at least 2 years. The toddler continues to get lots of antibodies. Breastmilk is still "the perfect food" even though they do get most of their calories from other sources after 1 year.

This is definately a cultural thing. In most parts of the world, moms breastfeed, on average, well into the 2nd year and usually past the 2nd birthday. In parts of the US, this is common. In other parts, it's 'wierd' to breastfeed just 4-5 months! When I lived in CA I thought nothing about nursing my son until 15 months and wasn't going to wean him that 'soon' but he was done. Most of my friends were nursing 2 and even 3 year olds (although I admit I do find age 3 a bit 'odd' but everyone should do what feel right to them and their family). We moved back to the midwest where I was born and raised. At just >6 months< I started getting the "she's too old to nurse" comments regarding my daughter! Well.. she's 20 months now and just finished weaning last week! The only reason she weaned was because I was so totally exhausted - I'm 17 weeks pregnant! (And yes, it's totally healthy and safe to breastfeed and be pregnant at same time. Baby and toddler are fine. You are fine. There's no medical reason to quit.)

I plan on nursing this next baby well after his or her 1st birthday, too. It's best for mom and child. However, I do give the babies bottles a few times a week of formula for when I go out. Anyways... try to ignore the rude comments - which is hard, I know. I hear it from my in-laws all the time. I try to avoid the subject with them (not so hard since they live several states away). Tell them that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends nursing for as long as both mom and child want and the WHO says at least 2 years. There are dozens of additional health benefits for both mom and child. My babycenter birth board just had a big thread about it and someone did research and listed well over a dozen health benefits for both mom and child (so like 2 dozen total). I can't remember all of them but it was stuff like reduced chance of asthma, allergies, obesity, cancer, etc.

Good luck, try to ignore those people, and please continue to do what's best for you and your toddler!

ok.. I jsut read a few of the other posts and I have to comment... none of my kids >ever< pulled on my shirt to nurse. They asked me.. either with words or with sign language (there's a sign for 'nurse'). Also, both kids were using sippy cups before 6 months. That has nothing to do with nursing... it's still a perfect food and the health benefits don't just stop at 1 year.

Well first of all, CONGRATS!! You are doing a tremendous thing! maybe you should remind these women that a)the AAP recommends at LEAST a year, longer if mother and child prefer b)the world health organization recommends at LEAST TWO years or longer c) weaning him before he is ready would be not just withdrawing his milk, but the comfort he seeks from it... why do that?? d) there are hundreds of health reasons to continue... for him and for YOU! The longer you feed, the lower your risk for major diseases later! e) at the end of the day, he is your baby (yes he is STILL a baby at 1) and you know what is best! You should be proud and honored, not ashamed!! What you are doing is the most natural thing on earth! Congrats again!!

My baby's about a year and I still nurse 3-4 times a day, although I've had to pull back during the day due to lack of production.

Just tell them it's your choice and it's still something that's very good for both you and the child. Don't worry about their responses.

You're doing great!!!!!

I'd hate to lose friends over it, but I would tell them that the WHO suggests bfing for the first 2 years and you want to do what is best for him, not them. Tell them that if they can't keep their opinions to themselves you won't be spending time with them any more because it's your choice and really none of their business.
Good Luck! And here's hoping that people become more educated about the importance of bfing soon!

well, when a child can ask for milk and starts tugging at your shirt honestly its just kind of gross. most people dont want to see that so if your in the privacy of your own home go for it...but most people just think its gross, my cousin was bf until he was 4 which is deff nasty so it can be done but do you want it to go that far?? good luck!