Breastfed Baby Refusing to Eat from a Bottle

Updated on August 06, 2008
O.C. asks from Corpus Christi, TX
44 answers

My baby will be three months old this week and she refuses to take a bottle. This is an issue since I have returned to work and she will not eat while I am gone (up to 8 hours). She was exclusively breastfed from the beginning but we began attempting to introduce the bottle (with pumped breastmilk) around 5 weeks. We have tried seven different nipples (playtex, nuk, soothie, johnson's, nuby, madela, avent), 5 different people (me, hubby, both grandmas, and a good friend), every position known to man, different locations, tried slipping the bottle in during nursing, etc... We have tried when she is asleep, awake, tired, not hungry, a little hungry, extremely hungry, you name it. She has gone as long as 12 hours without taking it so the whole "she will take it if she is hungry enough" thing isn't true. She doesn't always scream when the bottle is tried. Sometimes she just plays with it but she won't latch on and feed. I have resorted to working half days to come home and feed her (I work far from home) but my company won't allow me to do it much longer and I am faced with having to take a leave of absence (unpaid). We are at our wits end...please help.

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So What Happened?

Thank you to everyone for all of the amazing advice! I never expected such a response. What ended up working best for us was me staying home with my precious daughter. It will be tight financially but, even after trying a lot of your tips, Ayla continued to hold out, wasn't gaining the right amount of weight, and was showing other signs of not getting enough nutrition. I am happy to be home and, in the last week, she has begun gaining weight again! We will continue to pursue her taking the bottle and will use your extremely helpful advice. God bless everyone for their help.

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J.J.

answers from Houston on

I see you have plenty of advice, but here some more. I did not breast feed but my girl friend did with her little girl. I know they had to cover the bottle with a wash cloth and she could not be in the siht of the baby when they first started with some bottle feedings.

Good Luck
J.

R.D.

answers from College Station on

It takes more time...but you can spoon or even cup feed an infant...just be careful not to put too much into their mouth at one time...and this has the added benifit of allowing them to still breastfeed when they are with you because they don't get lazy about feedings as they will with a bottle.

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A.L.

answers from Waco on

My son was the same way, fortunately I was able to stay home with him. He would not ever take a bottle or pacifier and would get mad that you even tried. What we found that worked was the sippy cups with straws, or just letting him drink from a cup (while someone else holds the cup).
I know it seems young to start on a sippy cup, but what do you have to lose!

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L.G.

answers from Houston on

My daughter did the same thing. 2 babysitters actually QUIT because she cried all day long, waiting for me. After waiting all day, she would wake me up all night long, making up for lost time (the doctor said). Babies are SMART and it looks like yours has gotten it's way...WHICH is GREAT for baby but not so great for finances, right? I wish that I was not financially strapped when I had my first child but we WERE.
I could NEVER get her to take a bottle and I had to quit breastfeeding cold turkey at three months to return to work which broke my heart because I felt that I had no choice at that time. Eventually I ended up leaving my job because my child was more important than the money. (daycare issues after the breastfeeding ordeal...) I had to make huge sacrifices (downsizing...) but it was worth it.

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L.R.

answers from Austin on

We went through the same thing when my daughter was 10 weeks, all of a sudden she refused the bottle. When it was time for me to go back to work at 13 weeks she would not drink all day, i was 35 mins away and wasn't able to come at lunch. She finally broke around 4-5 months, consistancy is the key. My doctor said to take a weekend and be strict, no breast for 72 hours. It worked! She must have felt the vibe and finally caved in. It was the most tramatic time of my life i think, there's nothing worse than a starving infant. From then on, i pumped most of the time (even on weekends) only breastfed in the morning and night. Once she's broke she may have relapses so continue to give a bottle 2-3 times a day. Hope this helps, and good luck... i know how difficult it cam be!

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H.B.

answers from Austin on

We had problems with my oldest at first as well, but not anything like your case. Have you tried bundling your baby tight(I know 3 months seems a little old for this but it may work) and having a shirt or object that smells like you next to her. (Maybe sleep with the blanket that you bundle her in to catch your sent) Once she begins to relax in whoevers arms she may take the bottle with these familure things. Also, make sure when they put the nipple in her mouth that they push down on the tongue. As a last resort see if she will drink water out of a cup using a straw (my girls started this very young) who knows maybe she'll drink milk that way) One last thing, if she is still acting very hungry mix rice cereal with breast milk and spoon feed her that should satisfy her until you get home.

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C.S.

answers from San Antonio on

My third child was like that, and I resorted to giving her milk in a dropper! And then I moved to sippy cups (when she was about 4 months old). It was the ONLY way I could get her to drink anything. She never took a bottle. The sippy cups in those days (10 years ago) had the hard stem, not the soft-nipple like one. It seemed she was willing to take it because it was so completely different from the feel of the breast.

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K.H.

answers from Houston on

Currently, I am going through the same thing, but fortunately I can stay at home. This is my first, and I had a hard time getting her to latch on. At the hospital, a nurse gave me a nipple shield, and it was a success. Because of the nipple shield my daughter could latch on better during breast feeding. Also, the shield is shaped like a bottle nipple so feeding her a bottle was not a problem. The only time I used the bottle because I needed a break, especially at night. I was literally a human buffet. Eventually, I broke her off the nipple shield and she was latching on great, so I didn't use a bottle anymore either. Now she will only take me. No bottles what so ever, only the boob juice. My suggestion is during breast feeding, try using the nipple shield, and then work in the bottle. Hopefully she will get use to it. Good luck!!

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T.

answers from Houston on

This also happened to me when I returned to work. The advice that I have is to just be consistant in offering the bottle. My son really never took a bottle from me when I was nursing, but eventually would take one from his dad and eventually the daycare ladies. I think that it took him a good week or 2 to start taking the bottle regularly. It takes time and it is true that they will eventually take the bottle.
Another option would be to just pump and bottle feed, but I am guessing that you do not want to do that.

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D.C.

answers from College Station on

I started reading only one of the many responses you have already received but I think my story is unique.

Your a first time mom and it is so scary to return to work where you have to leave your baby in someone else's care.

Keep in mind that your baby WILL NEVER LET HERSELF STARVE!!!

Signs of starving would include getting so tired that she would stop crying and become listless. Believe it!

Please review stories from other breastfeeding mothers at http://www.llli.org/NB/NBSeptOct94p152.html

Please change your comment "A little about me:" You ARE a dedicated mother and you ARE trying your best! I hope the best for you. If you are in the B/CS area, send me an individual email for a local, and certified, group leader about breastfeeding [basically a teacher].

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T.M.

answers from Austin on

My daughter was just as stubborn. All you can do is keep trying with your baby. The baby will get hungry enough and take the bottle. Good luck. Patience required.

D.C.

answers from Houston on

We had a simialr issue with my son who is now 3, almost 4. He never took a pacifier either, but I had to go back to work and there was no choice. We tried every bottle, even the one that looks like a breast without success, so here's what worked: I was banished from the house (because baby can smell and sense mommy's presence) and was not allowed to nurse that morning before I left. It took 2 days. My husband and mother-in-law were on duty. The first day I came back home at about 5 PM and was allowed to nurse him that evening. He wouldn't take the bottle that day, but he didn't cry alot or get fussy. It wasn't like he didn't get anything though because everytime the bottle would be tried some would leak in. The the second day I was not allowed to nurse in the morning and I left again for the day. By about 3 or 4 pm the second day he took the bottle....this is how it worked. He was put in the reclining high chair and given the bottle...no one could hold him because that he associated with the breast. When I got home, I was not allowed to nurse him again for about 2 more days to ensure he would consistently take the bottle and I wasn't the one that gave him his bottle either. It was hard going without nursing (it was h*** o* me because I really liked that bonding time)but he got used to the bottle and was fine after that nursing and taking the bottle when I was at work. It's hard, but you need someone that can keep their sanity and help you to do it while you are away. I hope that helps and good luck. It is true, if the baby gets hungry enough, it will take the bottle...one last thing I am assuming that you are using breast milk in the bottle, right?

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E.S.

answers from Houston on

I had the same problem. My daughter would not take a bottle, and never did. She stayed on the breast until she was 15 months. I had surgery and couldn't breast feed her for 12 hours when she was 4 months and she just didn't eat. Luckily I get to stay home with her so she really never had to take a bottle. I tried, like you, all different bottles and even pacifiers. Nothing worked. Just keep trying and maybe eventually she will get used to it. Good Luck!!

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K.F.

answers from San Antonio on

I am so sorry to hear you are having so much trouble. My baby is the same age and I was scared to death of this happening, so I introduced the bottle too early and now she won't nurse at all. So we are pumping... Maybe giving her the milk with a syringe. You could squirt some in her mouth a little at a time or if she will suck on your finger and then you can squirt some in along with that. It will be a long process, but at least she is getting some milk while you are away. Is there anyway that your sitter can bring her to you for a feeding during the day? I can only imagine the frustration that you must be going through.

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S.T.

answers from San Antonio on

My daughter did the same thing. She would go the entire day I was at work with out eating.

If your daughter isn't upset about not eating, I wouldn't worry about it. My daughter had an even disposition all day, she just didn't want to eat. She became cranky when she was tired, but she never complained because of hunger.

Unless your daughter is unhappy or has weight gain issues, I wouldn't worry. She will catch up when she is with you (reverse cycling).

The trick with my daughter was no one could be holding her. They would put her in a bouncy and hold the bottle for her. She would take an ounce or two that way, but she just held out until mama was around.

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J.P.

answers from Austin on

When I worked in daycare, we had a infant that had the same problem. Even the teachers were frustrated.
I was able to get the baby to eat by not heating the milk so warm, I asked mom for a dirty shirt of hers, put in on my chest, and put the bottle under my arpit then put the baby toward my chest (just like BFing) and after a minute or so, the baby took the bottle. This went on for about a day or two, but the baby got the picture, the baby knew it wasn't mommy, but it smelled like mom and tasted like mom so why not. You could try that type of method. (use a shirt that you are BFing in, burp her in the same shirt, maybe wipe some breast milk on it, and SLEEP in it all night. Then put it in a ziplock back to keep the mommy smell in it)

BTW, trying to slip the bottle in during nursing wont work!! Mommy is soooooo much better!!

I wish you the very best of luck.

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B.B.

answers from Houston on

Try holding the baby the same way you do when you breastfeed. Run the nipple over the cheek from the ear to the lips. The natural response is for the baby to turn toward the nipple and suck. Keep doing this until she begins to suck. Works every time.

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N.R.

answers from Houston on

You could try feeding her pumped breastmilk or formula from a sippy cup or from a spoon. Most important is that someone besides mom feeds her and it is best if you are not even in the room. If she sees or smells you she will expect the breast.

We went through this with my daughter and the day care offered her milk from a short easy-flow sippy cup. She went straight from breast to cup. As I mentioned before, you can always try using a spoon or even a regular cup - just requires a little more care.

Good Luck!

Also, I agree with Angela - DO NOT introduce solid foods at this early age. It may be tempting, but it is not the solution to your problem and your baby is not ready yet.

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F.F.

answers from San Antonio on

I returned to work when my baby was 3 months old too. He also did not want to take a bottle. We tried several different kinds and eventually we found one that he would sometimes take (first years - the ones with two nipples in them), but even so, he often chose not to and just waited for me. I frequently got home to a frantically hungry baby who nursed a ton during the hours I was home. Some babies just don't really eat from the bottle and they reverse their schedules to be able to do most of their eating at night. This can be h*** o* you unless you bring your baby to bed with you, but many babies are fine with the arrangement.

The suggestions to try droppers, spoons, or cups are good too. The only reason we assume that we should use bottles is because that's what formula fed babies use, but your baby is used to something so different from a bottle, that a spoon or cup is really no more foreign.

Good luck!

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H.F.

answers from San Angelo on

Contact a local lactation specialist. My first child absolutely refused a bottle until she was ten months old. I was lucky enough that we could afford my quitting my Air Force job, but I couldn't even go to the gym...even my husband couldn't get her to take a bottle. Good luck to you both.

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G.W.

answers from San Antonio on

Do a search on "Feeding Cups". This cup uses the same sucking action that the baby uses to nurse. Is is was people used before bottles with rubber nipples. You call call your local Lalecha(?)league for help finding one. Blessings!

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J.M.

answers from Houston on

I had the same thing happen to me. I went back to work after 3 months and my son refused to eat from a bottle. I ended up working half days (5 hours)in the office and half days (3 hours)at home until he was six months old. Thank god I worked for a company that worked with me on this issue. So, my son would wait for me to return from work to eat (about 6 hours). At six months old I went back full time and he would still wait for me. He ended up starting to drink about 4 oz of milk while I was away and eating solids. Note: I always made sure with the pediatrician that he was growing normally and following the curve.

From my experience, I suggest to keep trying with the bottle. If that doesn't work-let her wait for you until you come home. The only problem with that is you need to be prepared to make up those missed feedings when you return. My son drank a lot of milk when I would come home from work and through the night which can be tiring. He is 1 yr now and still prefers mommy's milk to any kind of food.

The good thing about the whole deal is that your baby is attached to you. Our son is growing well, talking and walking. Some babies require a little more work. :-)

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J.W.

answers from Houston on

Breastfed babies as you have discovered, just love the breast and NOTHING else in the world will do.
She wants the boob and nothing but the boob will do.
You are just going to have to continue breastfeeding and express your milk.
Breastfed babies are notorious for not accepting any bottle teats and are difficult to baby sit as a result because all the want is "Mommy" and "Titty".

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T.W.

answers from Austin on

if you haven't tried it, i had great sucess with the breastflow bottles. they are more difficult to get milk from as they require the same actions as nursing. also, when my daughter was between 3-4 months she started refusing the bottle. however, she would drink from certain sippy cups... dr. browns, nuby, nuk... just not the h*** o*es. i just went along with it and now she will drink from either. good luck!

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M.G.

answers from Austin on

Maybe the milk is not warmed enough or its too warm...

C.S.

answers from Houston on

You may have done this alredy but try talking to your pediatrician. You may also want to contact someone from LaLeche Leaque- they are very experienced in all things related to breastfeeding.

Good luck - don't give up- it may just be a matter of try-try again.

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S.R.

answers from Beaumont on

This is a tough situation and of course a sticky sitution. I sure you have questioned your babies dr. Also here goes the none of my business part... just evaluate wether or not you have to work. This of course is only a suggestion. I am a SAHM but I realize that is just not always an option for the rest of my fellow mothers. I hope that you get plenty of good advice and this situation comes to ahead for your babies nutrition sake.My oldest son did the same thing but I did not have to go to work so I can only offer you good wishes!

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M.B.

answers from Houston on

We experienced the same thing with our daughter, which was a shock to me because our son changed to a bottle w/o trouble. She did that for months, with only a couple of ounces (at most) all day, every day. I was worried sick! Needless to say, I rushed home as early as I could to feed my starving baby! And she would eat nearly nonstop all evening!

Then I brought her home with me for a couple of months during the summer. (I'm a teacher.) The next school year she was fine. I have no idea what made the next school year better. So I don't have much advice, but I can really sympathize!

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B.S.

answers from Austin on

Wow, it sounds like you have tried everything! I, too, had difficulty getting my son to take a bottle and what finally worked for me was a faster flow nipple and a smaller/more narrow one. Everything I read about switching between bottle and breast said to use wide-mouth bottles, which I did and none worked. Then, in the midst of a move, my nipple was bleeding and I borrowed a hand pump and bottle from my neighbor (all mine were packed). She had Avent (which I had already tried and failed) and some of the small 3 ounce nursers with the single-use Similac nipples that you get from the hospital. Since I knew the Avent wouldn't work, I tried the nurser and my son ate from it without a hitch! So, I proceeded to go on eBay and purchase 65 of the Similac nipples. I had read on a message board that other moms had been successfull washing them in the diswasher, but that they did tend to wear out faster than other nipples. As it turns out, those nipples fit the Evenflo basic bottle and I have been able to transition to the standard Evenflo nipple. So, my advice is this: if you haven't already, ask some of your friends if they have any of those nursers left over from their hospital stays. Give it a shot - it worked for me and I hope it will work for you!

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B.S.

answers from Beaumont on

I sure hope this will be of some help. I had the same problem with my oldest son (he is now 28). I finally resorted to using a dropper, the type you give meds with and dropping it slowly so he did not choke. I am like you "They wont starve themselves to death" is an old wives tale I think because my son was loosing weight at 6 months. So I tool matters into my own hands and began using the dropper. After a length of time he began nursing from the bottle, problem solved. Please let me know if this advice helps. Prayers, B. mother of 3 granmother to 9

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S.W.

answers from Houston on

Call La Leche League and see if they have any ideas. My first child did not take a bottle until she was 13 months. The pediatrician said it was nipple preference. I found out at 18 months that she has a very serious peanut allergy. Some babies with allergies instinctively delay solid food and artificial milk. Also, consult your pediatrician. You may need to take a leave of absence until this is resolved.

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L.R.

answers from Sherman on

My daughter and my best friends daughter were the same way! Very frustrating. My daughter would nurse me dry and then need more food. I would have to take her to the neighbors house and leave. They know that you are there. They can smell you. My friend had the same problem and had tried all the things that you have. I came over on a Sat. and asked her to take the other kids to the park and I would call her after she was done eating...she was skeptical. I tried alot of ideas in about 20 min of screaming. She just wouldn't latch on. Finally I took my shirt off and put her skin to skin just like breastfeeding. I worked! She drank 4 oz. She still won't take a bottle from mom, but she will take one from the sitter. You just have to be calm and patient.

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G.C.

answers from Houston on

Hi! I completly understand! I'm not only a mom of a child (now 6) who did the same thing at the same age, but I'm also a Board Certified Lactation Consultant in the NW Houston area. My suggestion is to be patient and try every feeding, sticking with the same bottle nipple. If there is one nipple that she somewhat will take or even just one that she doesn't scream at, then use that one and don't change around. Put only a small amount into the bottle each time so you don't waist pumped milk (1/2-1oz). Catch her before she's too hungry and give her lots of eye contact and talk to her, comforting her telling her it's ok. Try standing and walking with her while you try to get her to take the bottle. If she doesn't want it and starts to cry, don't push it for more than about 10 min. If you can get her to take ANY, even if it's only a few sucks, praise her and be encouraged. Offer her the breast afterwards like a "reward", and try again the next feeding. Offer her the bottle everytime, even at night. After just a few days this will get better and better. The key is to be consistant, you can't go straight to the breast, try the bottle every time. I have mixed feelings about who should give the bottle. Most "books" will say let someone else, but I have found in some of these difficult cases like this, mom has the touch. Babies are tired by the end of the day when Dad can try and neither one of them has the patience to make it work. Mom is considered the "food source", so you try every time and see if after a few days you don't start to see some improvement. Once she starts going on the bottle really good, you can skip one or two feedings a day and just do a bottle for those feedings so she doesn't regress. Don't forget to pump every time you skip a breastfeeding session so your milk volume will stay high. Volumes often drop with the return to work anyway, so make sure you pump any time you supplement with a bottle. Volumes will recover after you get settled back into your work schedule and the stress slows down.
Best wishes!
GC, IBCLC

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W.D.

answers from San Antonio on

I know exactly how you feel. I made the mistake with my second child by not introducing the bottle right away and I had to breastfeed exclusively (he flat out refused to take anything from anyone). He would've rather starved than take anything else. You may not want to hear this but you need to take the time off and feed your child..she will get very weak if you don't. Maybe you can start to introduce baby foods little by little in a few months and this will allow you to go back to work. I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and maybe you are meant to cut back and be a stay at home mommy for a little while. I was only able to leave for 2 hr intervals until I could wean him. I wish more companies had on site daycare where the mommies could go tend to their babies on breaks, etc.
Good luck..a lot of people will not believe that you have tried but trust me I know, I've been there!

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A.E.

answers from Sherman on

Some baby's won't. Mine wouldn't. He coughed and choked and sputtered and so I nursed him exclusively until he was 7 months old. I talked with my work about arranging my schedule so that I could nurse him. Some days I just took him to work with me - other days I would work for 3 hours and then go feed him and come back. It worked. I did cut back my days AT WORK so I actually only went in to the office 3 days a week and worked from home the other days. :-) Welcome to motherhood - where NOTHING goes as expected. *laughing*

Edited to add - Remember, the recommendation for solid food introduction is 6 months MINIMUM. Please do not try to force your baby to take solid foods at this young age.

J.B.

answers from Houston on

I know she is young, but have you had her ears checked. My son would always take a bottle just fine and then one day he totally stopped. Like you say, he would not take it no matter what. Turns out it was his little ears causing the problem. The pressure caused by sucking a bottle would hurt them because they had fluid in them. Anyway, we got treatment, but still the only bottle he will take is Dr. Browns. They have different nipples for different stages and it doesn't require the little one to suck as hard as other bottles, I think. Anyway best wishes to you hope that helps!

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S.S.

answers from Austin on

I had the same problem with my daughter when she was about 3 months old (she's 9 years old now) and I went back to work. She never took a bottle, EVER! She would cry and cry! What my mom started doing is spoon feeding her the milk. She was on cereal about that time anyway, so my mom would just get a spoon, put the milk in a bowl, hold her or put her in her carseat, and spoon feed her the milk. Eventually, she started even drinking her milk from a cup, of course she couldn't hold it, but she would drink it if someone held it for her. She still nursed every day when I got home, but it helped to keep her satisfied when I wasn't there. I have even heard of some that have used a syringe to feed their child. It is quicker and there is no sucking needed. :) I wish you the best of luck! I know it's tough enough having to go back to work and leave your little one without having to deal with these other issues.

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R.L.

answers from Austin on

I would STRONGLY recommend that you find a way to stay home with your baby who needs her mom.

If you can't do that or don't want to do that, perhaps you can find childcare closer to your job so that you can take some "smoking break" equivalent and go feed your daughter.

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V.M.

answers from San Antonio on

Have you tried heating up the nipple with hot water before feeding? One of my babies refused the bottle and that was the last thing we tried - it worked. I feel for you...been there done all of that myself.

One thing my pediatrician told me is that, although 12 hours seems like an overly long time...the baby will not be starved or damaged at that interval of feeding. She encouraged me to use the "when she gets hungry enough" tactic. It was ME that couldn't go the distance on that one.

Another suggestion...connect with a lactician consultant or the La Leche League here in town. They can be a tremendous help and support for you. Years of experience and advice there.

Good Luck to you, it WILL work out.

Blessings,
V.
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C.W.

answers from Waco on

My oldest refused any type of bottle or sippy cup. It wasn't much of an issue because I didn't return to work. early intoduction different nipples etc but nothing worked The experts (La Leche league) say that some babies do change their eating scedule and refuse the bottle even when mom is at work.

La Leche League has a really strong group in Waco. They are so helpful with any questions. here is the website www.lalecheleague.org I am sure they will be able to give you much more information. Your little one will be okay adjusting her scedule to yours.

good luck

Debra

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A.O.

answers from Austin on

The same thing happened to me and I had to stop working because my daughter didn't take the bottle... I'm sorry to say this but she won't take the bottle any time soon.

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M.W.

answers from Houston on

Like my daughter's baby sitter said when that happened with us, when she is hungry, she will eat! She will not starve. Really. Even if she has gone 12 hours, she will eventually eat.

Good Luck!

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K.G.

answers from Austin on

My baby has done this same thing and a friend recommended the Adiri bottles. They are more expensive but wonderful! Made to feel closet to a breast for breastfed babies. They are BPA free - no bad plastic and low air so less burping and gas.

They have been really helpful for us and our new, little girl.

Here's a link to the product on the babies r us website.
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2968120

Best wishes

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K.B.

answers from San Antonio on

All my kiddos refuse the bottle as well until I warmed it, and I mean warm.

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