Baptisim - Pine Bush,NY

Updated on September 29, 2009
M.E. asks from Pine Bush, NY
18 answers

I am really wanting to have my daughter baptized and so is my husband. He is a reverand. He was going to perform the service himself but said he felt strange doing it. We do not have a church that we belong to as works more on a personal level with people as needed. Do you think it would be odd for him to perform the baptisim himself?

My husbands duties would be totally valid he is able to sign legal marriage licenses and perform any religous service. We have just choosen to not associate with one specific denomination, I was raised catholic and he was raised Jewish and Methodist. So we diversity of religous knowledge and have choosen to use all of it in our ministry.

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K.B.

answers from Rochester on

Why not? If he has the piece of paper saying that he can perform a baptism, then I say go fot it. I think it might even make the experience even more moving for daddy. I say find a nice non-denominational place like a park and go from there.

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L.Z.

answers from New York on

I think it would be really special. You daughter will always say, "My father is a reverend. He even baptized me himself." It reminds me of the movie "A walk to remember" when the father performs the wedding ceremony.

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A.D.

answers from New York on

Hi M., Your question is interesting. First, congrats on your little girl. As a Catholic I know that anyone can Baptize if the child is in trouble but this is not your case. If your husband is a reverand then I guess he can do this. In my church a Baptism introduces and welcomes the child into the community of worship. Not sure if my answer helps but you have my best wishes, Grandma Mary

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M.B.

answers from Rochester on

M.,
Actually, Baptism is something ANYONE can do.

As an EMS provider we were told in class that if we have a birth in the back of the ambulance or at the house instead of the hospital, we can perform the baptism and name the child. It's extreme circumstances, granted, since 999/1000 babies make it to the hospital or are safely delivered at home.

The instances our teacher gave were that she delivered the baby in the back of the ambulance several times, two of which the baby did not survive the trip to the hospital. They were Christened Mary and Joseph. The parents were touched because their baby was christened before they passed (no it didn't have anything to do with level of care).

So, while I would certainly do it for my own child, the person we named our baby after was our choice to baptize him. We were lucky that he had it in his schedule to accept before he underwent serious surgery.

I think personally it would be cool if her Dad performed the ceremony. You can add so much more that is truly meaningful for your family while you are at it, and no one is going to put their foot down on ya!

Good luck,
M.

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K.H.

answers from Utica on

Hi M.
It is wonderful that you know that you want your daughter baptized or dedicated. In our church we call infant baptism a dedication, as you are the ones agreeing that you will bring your daughter up in the admonition of the Lord Jesus Christ. In part of that service the church at large agrees to help you raise your daughter in the love of the Lord. Because we have moved around the country, I have chosen different denominations by the love the congregation has for one another and by the way the pastor knows the God he is serving.
Since your hubby feels odd doing the baptism, I would guess that the reason is at least in part that part of the service that in all the denominations whether they called it baptism or dedication == they all asked the church to be there for the child. So I suggest that you find a church that you can be an active member of, and a real help to the leadership there. Then have your hubby help the minister of that church dedicate; baptize your daughter.
Please remember that your baptism certificate is to be registered and a legal document so be mindful to have it legal in case you ever need it to be.
I believe that it is a believer, one who has accepted Christ into their heart who should be baptized; all my children were either baptized or dedicated depending on the denomination we were in but all were raised to realize that we expected them to go through a believers baptism one day. Our youngest has yet to do that.
God bless you and give you His wisdom as He wants you to do. Praise Be to God who gives us rest.
K. == SAHM married 39 years---adult children 38,33,and twins 19.

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M.G.

answers from New York on

M.,

I don't believe it would be odd. Really what is a baptism but a way of introducing your daughter and give her a foundation in organized religion.

If you and your husband are comfortable with this, it is the right thing for you! No one should tell you differently. It is your baby and you should feel free to raise your little one exactly how you wish.

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K.H.

answers from New York on

I do not think it is odd at all. I think it will be much more special that way. I was actually baptized in my parents living room by my great uncle. It is so great to have had it done that way with just immediate family in such an intimate surrounding. Definitely do it!

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K.P.

answers from New York on

Baptism isn't just about the person being baptized, it is about a community of believers. My concern for your family is you have no church home. Where are you connected to the body of believers? Where is your support system in the faith? Where is the iron sharpening iron in your lives? It would be a beautiful thing for your husband to baptize your daughter but you need witnesses and a church family.

We are not just connected to God through Jesus, we must be connected to each other. You will need your church family to help you raise this child and to help with the challenges of life. I don't know what I would do without mine.

One of the sister's from my church whose father is a minister too was baptized by him, raised by him and on her wedding day walked her down the aisle, gave her away and married her to her husband. They have a special and tender relationship which is priceless to her. He is in his 80's and his health isn't good but she is still there for her daddy especially since her mom died about 15 years ago.

Please get a church home.

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S.P.

answers from New York on

Dear M.,
Of course it really depends on the denomination of Christianity that you follow; I could not speak for all. But I have been told that in an emergency any Christian person can baptize another, by simply saying 'I baptize you in the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.' I therefore think there would be no problem with your husband performing this for her. Why should your won daughter be exempted from a service he could perform for a stranger?? The baptism is through Christ, so the person performing the service is, in a sense, HIs proxy.
On the other hand, if you are uncomfortable with this personally, you could go to a church of your denomination, explain the situation and I'm sure the people would be willing to help you.
May God bless and keep His young daughter!
S.

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L.H.

answers from New York on

It's a good idea to have a traditional baptism in a church rather than doing himself. This way there will be an official record of the baptism, because sometimes baptismal records are used as added proof for legal purposes. When my hubby was going for his green card, both of us had to supply INS with substantial evidence that we are who we say we are. I thought there'd be no problem for me, since I was born here....Yeah, right. The birth certificat from the hospital wasn't good enough and the official birth certificate wasn't enough to prove that I am a U.S. citizen. I had to get a copy of my baptismal certificate from the church as well. You can have your child baptised in a non-denominational church if you want.

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J.F.

answers from Buffalo on

it all depends on your beliefs... everyone's faith is personal to them.
i was baptised as a baby... but then when i was 15 i wanted to publicly announce my faith as a personal choice by bapstism.
I'm a firm believer that baptism is basically that - a personal proclamation - weither its a family wanting to show they are commiting to raise a child in a certain faith or a teen/adult personally making that choice for themselves.

In my opinion its an option, an important way to show the world who you've decided to be, but not "necessity" to get to heaven, and really can be done by anyone who shares your faith... some people believe differently than me, but its really whatever it means to you and how structured your religion is.

I think it would be great for your husband to be so intimately involved in this step for your family.

I also think though, as another mom said, that if you want to take that step and proclaim to raise your child in your faith, that having a great a group of people who believe the same as you is soooo important. A group of families with children your child can grow with who can support eachother really makes a world of difference!
It could be a church your husband can work with as a reverand or maybe just a place you go as a family apart from his work. I think it would make your lives that much more full and give you that extra boost of support that every family needs :)
good luck making that decision in this special time for your family!

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N.L.

answers from Albany on

I think it would be WONDERFUL, especially if godparents receive your daughter after being blessed, by not ONLY her Daddy - but by her spiritual guide as well.

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K.P.

answers from New York on

Interesting question... couple of things to consider here. First, what denomination are you? In many cases for an adult to be married in a church of any denomination you must be able to present a baptismal certificate. If your husband is not affiliated with a specific church he may not be able to provide your daughter with this document.

Also, your husband may want to participate in the actual ceremony, but may be better involved by assisting in the baptism while someone else performs the rituals and prayers. While it is a wonderful thing that he is able to perform the ceremony, his role on that day is as her father, not as her pastor.

Do you have a minister friend affiliated with a church who could work with you to tailor the ceremony so that it involves your husband? When my son was baptised (Catholic) my father (Eucharistic minister) was part of the Mass and that was very special for our family.

Congratulations on your new baby!

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W.T.

answers from New York on

Hi M.,

I'm a pastor and a mom, and for our first son, my husband baptized him; for our second, we invited a retired pastor to come and baptize him, because my husband wanted to experience the role of witnessing such an important event.

My only concern is that, for me, baptism is something celebrated within the community that the Spirit builds. That community witnesses the baptism and they should be committing to showing that child/baptized person what God's love means -- so the baptism isn't just one moment, but it's the beginning of a journey that the congregation supports you in. You and your husband will certainly teach your child the important tenets of faith -- Scripture and worship and mercy. But I can't say enough about having the community there to give experiences of that -- think of Sunday School, with the kids learning songs together about God's love and the teacher there as a human example of God's patience and creativity.

I could probably write all day, but you get my point. Blessings on your family!

Peace,
Wendolyn
pastor, Gloria Dei Lutheran Church
Chatham, NJ

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A.C.

answers from New York on

I, personally, don't think it's odd but definitely check with a church of your faith to see if this is valid. I'd hate to think that your daughter's baptism would be considered null due to some minor technicality.

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C.W.

answers from New York on

Hi M.,

I don't think that it would be odd for your husband to perform the christening but I would suggest contacting your local diocese to make sure that it would be considered valid if he is not affiliated with any one particular church. A Baptismal certificate is always provided and recorded as proof of sacrament.

All My Best,
C.

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K.E.

answers from Buffalo on

I firmly believe that everyone has the right to believe in whatever the do that makes them feel faith and complete. I pesonally feel since he is a man of the cloth it is as offical as any, why not ?. I actually think it is too cool, what is better than that having daddy anounce the baby to god, WOW how awesome.

Good Luck and enjoy the day.

D.D.

answers from New York on

I think it would be touching if your husband did the baptisim since the two of you will work together to spiritually guide your daughter in her life. If you join an organized church at a later time then she can be baptised in that church along with you.

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