9 Month Old Does Not Sleep Through the Night...

I agree 100 % with what Margarita said. I do not believe in letting my baby cry it out. There are gentler ways to help them get back to sleep. You should read the book "The No-Cry Sleep Solution".

Did she ever sleep through the night? My first feeling was that she is going through separation anxiety, but it sounds like there's something else going on. Does she have gas? My daughter used to get terrible gas at times. This would make her so cranky. But, some children simply do not sleep through the night until they are a year old. My daughter was that way. Just keep up the good work and do not ignore her. I am not a big fan of letting them cry it out until they are a bit older and she may just be looking for comfort. I would strongly suggest you speak to her pediatrician, however, to rule out any medical problems that could be causing it. She could have an ear infection. This is especially common on bottlefed babies.

Hi K.. I also have a 9-month old baby boy...but unlike you, he is my 4th baby. I felt the need to respond to your inquiry because I don't believe in letting the baby cry it out. Thats just my opinion. All 4 of my kids didnt sleep through the night until they were a little over a year old. There were times they would wake up more than other nights. The reasons were all different (wet, teething pains, tummy aches, hungry, etc). So I always made sure to attend to their cries (whimpers are different...I just pat their backs and if they're Ok, they usually go right back to sleep). More often than not, they were just wet and hungry. I dont see any problems with nighttime feedings since babies under a year old still thrive mostly on breastmilk and/or formula. And some babies, like people, have a heartier appetite than others. I have always believed in demand feeding. And I guess I'm not doing so bad coz all my kids are healthy! Because you are concerned with your baby not feeding enough during the day...that would probably explain her hunger in the middle of the night. So I would suggest not letting her cry it out. When she wakes up, try changing her first if she's wet...then if she still continues to cry, then try to feed her. Babies are smart...they'll stop feeding once they're full or won't eat at all if they're not hungry. So take cues from your baby, and above all...trust your gut. If all else fails, you might want to talk to her doctor. Good luck to you and I hope this helps.

Hi K.,

My 11 month daughter stopped sleeping through the night as she got more active (crawling and now walking). She is not good with a bottle (of expressed breast milk) either so I ended up feeding her more at night to make up for what she wasn't/isn't getting during the day. I have read a lot of conflicting information but found quite a bit that supports night feeding stating that it is just another phase in development and she will soon move on. I am of the mindset that when she wakes up, it is for a reason and I am assuming that my daughter's reason is hunger because she is not taking much during the day. When she wakes up I go to her, try to comfort her, if that doesn't get her back to sleep then I nurse her.

I hope that helps!! N.

my advice to quitting the breastfeeding is NO! any baby who is breastfeeding is a thousand times better off that the ones who are not. I am older, and have nursed and raised 4 children and what i learned is that sometimes you have to forget what all the books and doctors and specialists say about the baby sleeping through the night and do what feels natural and right. none of my children slept throught the night and they all function just fine. if nursing at night is what feels right then do it, she is after all your daughter!

lifting you on eagles wings,
L.

Hi K.!
An older, experienced mom--2 kids, breastfed about a year for each of them, they would never drink formula or milk until they were weaned for several months. I was worried as well, used apple juice or whatever, but they liked water, also. It's turned out to be good for them. Now adults, they neither one drink soda, very healthy, and they did learn to drink milk. They weighed just under 20lbs at a year, it sounds like you're doing the right things. My older one, I did have to let him cry. I was nervous first time mom and it was heartbreaking, but only took a short while. Use some of the super nanny techniques, but get her to learn to settle herself. Next baby is much easier. They DO pick up on your insecurities-but they survive them!!!!

Hi K.,

Margarita's already said it all! I'll just add that you shouldn't worry about those CHARTS!!! Even if your doctor is using the charts specifically for breast fed babies, it's okay to be on any part of that spectrum! I think these charts are mainly torture for parents. You are doing a GREAT job! (My daughter weighed 16 pounds at 12 months and she hardly been sick a day in her life). I also started doing what Jodi suggests which is a little "nightcap" of rice milk and when she was older a banana (I just got one of those little finger toothbrushes and gently used that). She was into her two before she slept through the entire night without needing a drink (which she would just sit up, have and go back to sleep) and now she's sleeping like a rock! She wasn't interested in really eating until she was over a year old. They are all so different and that's a great thing. You're doing a fab job!

Just a thought......you might try nursing during the day in a quiet enviroment without distractions. Also, if you do not give water she will get plenty of fluid through breastfeeding, as long as you are well hydrated. If you don't offer water her tummy will have more room for breastmilk. This may result in longer sleep times at night.

Best of luck!

You are doing a great job! I have had three very different babies and here are some of my ideas. She seems to be eating what she needs. If you are open to it, then keep trying to add formula so you feel better about what she is getting, and maybe try mixing it in with her cereal. How are her naps? Do you let her put herself to sleep in the day and schedule a couple of nap times for her? My son was premature and has never reached 5%, yet at this age he was sleeping through the night. So be reassured that she is most likely healthy and don't worry too much about percentiles. Take a few days to establish an awake, eat, play, go to bed (by herself) pattern, and then when you feel ready, let her cry it out. Keep giving her love every so often through the night, but let the goal be that she goes back to bed each time by herself without you nursing, rocking, etc. I know this is not always a well received method, but it works wonderfully and kids like to know a structure and pattern to thier lives and you will still be loving her. It only takes one to three nights of this and most kids fall right into the pattern on thier own. Have you heard of the book Baby Wise? This is a quick read that saved me as a first time mom! I was recommended it, and I do to all first time moms and have seen great success! Good luck!

It seems to me that she is saving her feedings for the night time. Kids are SMART cookies!! She will start nursing more during the day if you cut down on nursing her at night. At 9 months, you should be able to not nurse her during the night!

Hello K.,
Your message reminds me a bit of my older daughter, who I breastfed until 18 months because she had a projectile vomiting problem, and could not really eat solids too much...I used to feed her throughout the night, and made the mistake of picking her up too much to soothe her. At 9 months, she is ready to go through the night without breastfeeding, especially if she is on solids as well. You may want to try just rubbing her back when you go into soothe her instead of picking her up. I would highly recommend reading the Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems by Ferber since it sounds like you are able to tolerate some crying. It teaches you how to systematically teach your child how to fall asleep and stay asleep. It takes about a week of consistent behavior on your part in terms of following through on the strategy, but you should see steady progress each night with less crying before falling asleep. It might start out with 1-2 hours of crying for the determined child, but then go down to 1, then 45 minutes, half hour, and so on until she doesn't cry at all.

It also sounds like your daughter is used to waking up for feedings at night. Once you eliminate the feedings, the habit will slowly change and disappear. You just have to be steadfast...like any kind of training, consistency is the key.

Good Luck, sleep is right around the corner.

S.

Have you tried your breast milk in the Nuby sippy cups. Alot of babies don't like the bottle after the breast because they are used to getting the initial fast paced let down of nursing.

I do believe in letting my children cry it out, when I know they are not hungry. This is just because it worked best for me.

On the size of your baby, all children are different. My daughter is small for her age. She is 19 months old and is only 21 pounds. The doctor says it is mainly due to her structure. She will just probably be a small, slender girl.

I hope that helps you.

K.,

I'm a firm believer in not letting babies cry. I think it damages their self-esteem in the long term. I think when babies cry it is because they need something and ignoring them just teaches them that their needs don't matter. I would recommend getting the "No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley and looking at the info on www.askdrsears.com and http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/index.asp. It really isn't unusual for babies this age to be distracted during the day. They are growing and developing really fast. At that stage, I would take my son into the bedroom to nurse him and shut the door. No dogs, no tv, just quiet time and that helped alot. Breastmilk should be the primary source of nutrition until babies are 1 year old so even though she's eating lots of solids, I wouldn't try to cut out nursing quite yet. I know it is hard to follow your instincts when you get tons of parenting advice but the U.S. is really the only country in the world where we have this weird idea that babies should learn to be independent pretty much from birth. Meeting your child's needs will not spoil her.
T.

Have you had her ears checked? Just wondering because my oldest son had ear problems, so laying down hurt him and he'd cry -- no other signs of infection, but there would be one. Otherwise, my 3rd son is 11 mo and still wakes up at night. I think some babies are good sleepers and others aren't. Sometimes he wants a drink, sometimes he's wet, but he generally goes back to sleep quickly. I worried more about DS1, but now on #3, we're more relaxed. Do what works and what you think is best, and it'll work out.

Hi K.
If you think she waking b/c of hunger try to feed her some rice cerial or oatmeal before bed. She could be thirsty, I started giving my kids a sippy cup of water in their cribs around this age. It took awhile for them to find it during middle of night wakings but when they did they would wake and instead of crying take a drink and go back to sleep. Don't rule out teething. Look for other signs, drooling, mouthing, etc. If your not into gving her tylonal or motrin try some homopathic teething tablets. I discovered them when my 1st was on his eye teeth and they seemed to work really well. I think the brand was "highlands" they have gel too.
good luck.
Oh yeah and my 2nd didn't sleep through until he was well past 1. I was a softy and just brought him into bed with us. (I just wanted to sleep!) I'm not suggesting it uless you want a 2 and a 4 year in your bed every once in a while. I don't mind :)

Ask your doctor if she can start drinking whole milk, and either put that or your breastmilk in a sippy cup. She probably isn't taking the bottle because she prefers the breast. But she might like the sippy cup because it's fun to carry (some have handles) and different. I would try to cut out one or two feedings at night--she is probably nursing more for comfort than food right now. And then she will be more hungry during the day. It's normal for their weight to go down at this age because they are more active. I would check with the doctor though, because they need a certain amount of milk/formula at this age. Also make sure about vitamins. She might even be able to take PediaSure at this age during the day if she's not eating much. But I wouldn't worry about the weight--the sleep is just as important, and once she figures out real food, she will make up the weight, believe me!! lots of luck--I'm happy that you're able to spend days with her, that's wonderful!

So the first bit of advice I can share is that all babies go through a "nursing strike" somewhere between 9-12 months....they are not weening!!!!!!! Like you said it is the distractions. What I did (I too was home during the day), no matter what, was start laying in bed for our feedings so my son would focus. It also allowed us to bond. He also (and still does when teething) woke up every 2-3 hours. We at first implemented a right before bed solid food meal...when this didn't work my poeditricition said it might be his teeth. So I started keeping Hylands teething tablets by his bed, and giving him those...they worked like a magic charm!!!!!!!!!!
Also, I wouldn't be concerned about your childs weight based on my own experience...my son is below the 10th percentile because he is SOOOOOOOO active, adn we are both petite people. There are so many veribles that determine a childs size (he is 17 months and "only" 22 pounds)...humans have strong survival instincts. As long as you are offering your daughter food like you are, she will eat when she is hungry. I am hoping I sound helpful and not like I am lecturing...I just had to tell myself all of this, too. So I know how you feel, and it really is pretty normal! I wouldn't cut out the night feedings unless YOU need to! have to go, blessings to you!

I had similar problems with my first child. Especially the waking at night. I found that going in to soothe just made things worse. It's the most difficult thing I had to do, but I finally let him work it out (he was a bit older - around 18 months). I was determined not to let that happen with my second. Life was much easier with him. I did not give formula to either and they both went through the same phase where they are just too preoccupied to nurse. It's the age. If you can find a quiet, darker place to nurse, it seemed to help. Neither of them took expressed milk either, even from a bottle (I think I threw out about 3 gallons with my 1st). Hang in there. Also, St. Lukes has what's called the Breastfeeding Bunch or something like that. It's moms like you looking for advice. I'm not sure when they meet, it used to be on Tuesdays at 10 or 10:30 for a couple hours. I found it very helpful. There is a lactation expert running the group and you get to meet all kinds of new moms too. Check it out.

Your baby knows what she needs and will not starve herself. I know it is hard not to worry, but I am sure she and you are both doing fine.

As to the cry it out vs not cry it out. My baby did not sleep through the night from 9 months to 19 months and would often be up for hours at a time. Nothing was wrong he just had a difficult time transfering to deep sleep. My mother-in-law tells me my husband went through the same thing for three years after he was born. We would rock him, pat him, sing to him, have him sleep in his crib, have him sleep with us, try letting him stay up late, try putting him to bed early. Nothing worked. Finally, at 19 months we let him cry it out, going in to his room every 5 to 10 minutes to comfort him, this included when he woke up in the middle of the night (after we determined nothing was wrong). He now sleeps through the night and is a much happier baby and we are much happier. I can't tell you what a difference it has made in our lives. I think you have to trust yourself and your instincts on this because there is a lot of judgement about what is wrong and right when it comes to babies' sleep. Nobody knows your baby like you, nobody knows what you go through with no sleep or in listening to him cry when he can't sleep. Good luck making whatever decision you make about dealing with your child's sleep!

Dear K.,

I have to say the advice you have received so far is fabulous.I also do not believe in the cry it out method. My only question is whta are your hours that you work at night? And who is getting up with the baby. I agree with offering the breastmilk in a cup as an alternantive. Have you tryed nursing before feeding the solid foods during the day? Like others say... Your baby is already so smart to figure out its easier or quieter, less distractions and its cozy to be with mom at night. Unless your apposed to co-sleeping, thats what I would encourage. I have to say that my first child did not sleep in my bed and I would fall asleep holding her in the rocking chair. Yeah, Thats much safer than co-sleeping! How would I have felt if I fell asleep and dropped her. I did co-sleep with my second child and it really was nice. Half the time all I had to do at that age was roll over and make the breast available. I was probably awake 2-5 minutes vs 30-2 hours. It is different for every baby and mom. I did like the comment about growth charts. Are you aware that alot of pediatricians use growth charts that are only based on formula fed infants. There are exclusively BF infant growth charts. Did you know that it is also normal for a formula fed baby to be higher on the growth chart at that age and BF babies usually weight less than the formula fed infants. Most babies will double thier birth weight by 4-5 months and triple it in a year. As long as your child stayes in the 25% and doesn't drop, you are doing fine. I know its tough to go by your instints at this time being a first time mom, But I think you sound like you are doing Fine! Most Bf babies do not sleep thru the night at this age, though there is always an exception to the croud. Good luck! Keep up the great work and be proud 9 months of breastfeeding is fabulous.

H. B

Hi K.,
17 lbs and already 9 months old is really tiny... What does your doctor say?
I'm a mom of 2, but have been raising 5. I breast fed both my two. My eldest who is now 5 decided that she was going to wean herself at 11 months. My husband and I started letting her drink milk out of our cups when she was around 9 months old. She never took a bottle and went straight to a sippy cup. My son was a different matter, I had a difficult time weaning him. He never slept through the night. He is three years old and still wakes up and needs mommy at least once a night- usually to turn on the bathroom light so he can go potty.
My suggestion is to start giving her whole milk, water is good for her too, but she really should be getting milk.
What I had to do with my son, he woke up every two hours no matter what, was to try to extend each interval between waking. Take your daughter in a quiet room when you are going to breast feed her, less stimulation and more nursing. Try keeping her up longer during the day, you might have to let her have a long morning nap and shorten her afternoon nap. Eventually cuting out the afternoon nap all together. Don't put her to bed at night time too early. When you do put her to bed nurse her for as long as you can, then make sure she is bundled tightly to give her that security. When she wakes up, wait a short time to see if she will put herself back to sleep. If she does, thats great, if not then go in and check her diaper. If still dry, don't pick her up but instead rub her back,or hold her hand - just letting her know you are there is sometimes all it takes and she'll go back to sleep. Repeat as often as you have to. Eventually you should be able to only get up with her once a night, and then eventually not at all.
Because of her size and age, I would suggest that you do continue nursing your daughter. It doesn't sound like she is dehidrated (sorry about spelling)and isn't hungry all the time, but I would talk with your doctor to see what he suggest to help get weight on her.

T. C.
Founder/President of the MOMS Club of TD
www.momsclubtd.org

Hi K.-

I never believed in letting my son cry it out. I did the attachment parenting so he was in my bed until he was about one (he decided he liked his crib better). However, I don't disagree with parents who let them cry it out. I thinks its a parental choice and neither way is right or wrong.

Onto your daughter's sleeping issue...it sounds like she is hungry. Try doing a rice cereal & baby food feeding before bed with breastmilk. If she isn't interested in nursing try a sippie cup. They make some sippie cups that have a soft nipple which is perfect for those babies who are still nursing or taking a bottle. My son loved the playtex ones. It was the only cup I could get him to drink from for months. Maybe keep a food log of what you are feeding her and at what times.

As for being in the 25th percentile for weight...don't worry. It sounds like you are a terrific mom! My son stayed in the 25th percentile until his 3rd birthday...now he's in the 50th percentile (hooray). But his doctor always said he was fine that was just where he was on the chart. Unless your daughter takes a nose dive on the charts, there's no need to worry.

Best of luck!

A little about me:

I am the mommy of an adorable 3 year old little boy. I have been a child care provider for 13 years and love it! It gives me the chance to stay at home with my son and still have an income.

Hi K.,
I'm a first time mom who pretty much worried about everything. My son was notorious at not being able to sleep and he was underweight too. I had similiar issues and my pediatrician recommended that I read this book called: Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child:By: Marc Weissbluth.
What it helped me understand was how sleep cycles worked with infants and with a week of sleep training it made all the difference in the world. I'm not sure it will work for you, but it definitely worked for me. As for the eating part, it sounds you're doing all you can. Have you tried giving formula or breastmilk in a sippy cup or a glass, my son thought it was the coolest thing to drink out of a cup since it was a new concept for him. Since she's 9 months, she is close to having a normal sleep cycle so I know it will get better. Hope that helps.