6 Year Old Anti Social Behavior

My daughter is 4 years old and exhibited the same behavior. Everyone said she was extremely shy. I thought it was selective mutism b/c she didn't even speak to her teachers. I arranged play dates (DD and another little girl-no more than one playmate) and she has come out of her shell a bit more.

Hi, I am a pre school teacher. I have many students with ADHD. I have seen a few of them want to play alone rather than other children and that's OK. I'm not a specialist, but there is a specialist that comes to my class and works with the kids. Playing alone was one of my concerns and the specialist told me that it's OK. She even suggested some activities to do in a small group with the child. It was as simple as passing a ball in a circle. I had to hit the library and research on other activities to get their social skills going. One of the many things I learned is not to push the child to socialize and don't make it a problem. It will faze out. Lots of Blessings....

I have a 7 year old with ADHD and the same problems. I have put him into Karate. It has helped him so much. I see a more social child as he builds his confidence.

A team sport like softball or soccer might be fun for her.

RE: Girl Scouts - ask at your school if there is a troop your daughter's age. If not, are you willing to serve as a leader? Girl Scouts will train you (I wanted my daughter to have the scouting experience but nobody stepped up to the plate to be the troop leader so I did). Try calling the local council at ###-###-#### (www.citrus-gs.org) for more info. They have excellent programs for the summer day & sleepaway camps too! Good luck!

Get ahold of Family fundamentals .. I cant spell it.. but they should be able to let you know about play groups they host to get children with disabilities to interact... so your daughter would be able to play with alot of FUN toys with other kids with ADHD. and give you some help understanding how she creats social structure for herself. I know a few ADHD adults and children that do ok.. really .. they just have to get comfortable with the world on there terms. Its very frustrating... the whole world comes at them at a mile a minute. with out something that really peeks there interest there virtual TV stations are being constantly changed weather they like it or not. My sister is ADHD and my son is being watched for it, and I'm borderline. And as far as I'm concerned were a smart, creative, fun bunch of people that like to be left alone... if that makes any sense at all! She'll find her way... acceptance is the key. (I'm in no way saying your not accepting your daughter, Its a phrase I say almost hourly to keep my perfectionism in check!)

A.

I understand completely My daughter will be 6 in May and we are having issues with the kids at school but she has friends outside of school. It may not be nesseciarlilly your daughter. Sometimes it is actually the other children. My daughter does not have ADHD but I a brother who has it and a friends 6 year old who does. The other children just do not undestand the difference. As I said my daughter doesn't have it but she has to be excepted at all times if one time the other child doesn't play with her for whatever reason she feels she has to keep "hounding" them to be her friend till they just become annoyed. We recently just enrolled our daughter in chearleading to see if that will help her self esteem. Basically(sorry I got off track of what I was saying) it could be self esteem. She is most likely aware she is different than some children and is self conscoius. We as parents never think at that age they can be but you'll be suprised.

make an appointment w/ the school guidance counselor...

that's what they're there for :-)

Hi S.,
I was sorry to hear what you've been going through with your daughter, but at the same time happy to hear someone else is experiencing the same. My son is 6, and we've been on his doctor since he was 2; certain something was wrong. They didn't listen to us until he was 4, then told us he was 2 years behind. He's made a lot of progress just with his father's and my help, but now we learn he is adhd.. of course that's a school's diagnoses, and they're are so quick to label, so we try not to read into it too much but it's very difficult hearing that your children have problems. My son is not the typical hyperactive child you think of when you hear adhd, but he is a loner unless certain kids are around. At recess he goes off on his own and pretends he's a whale or a dinosaur. Normally I would tell his teacher "so what?" but it's become obsessive. This morning I dropped him off to school and sat in the car watching him. He walked over to the playground, sat on the pavement, opened his bag and pulled out his library book which happened to be about whales. He sat there alone in the middle of the grounds looking at his book while the other children ran around him until one of his "girlfriends" came. Then he put it away and ran to her, but by then it was time to go in. It was very heart wrenching to see. When he's home or anywhere else really, the first thing he does is go look for someone to play with, so why he just sits at school with 20+ kids running around him is so discouraging to me. My husband has adhd, and bipolar, so he understands it, I understand a lot of those things too; I studied psychology and I've always just been really tuned into people, so I get them.. but we just don't know what to do. It really is heartbreaking to watch your child have any kind of problem; he goes to school happy and excited, comes home with his head dragging on the ground. It kills us, and I was happy to see that someone had enrolled their child in karate and it's helped because we were thinking of doing the same, but will it help him socialize with the kids at school or just with those associated with karate? Sorry this turned out to be more of a vent and question rather than an answer.

I agree with girl scouts and I ran into the same problem as you did. Contact the county girl scouts, ie. Broward County Girl Scouts and volunteer to start your own group. There is work involved but it is better than waiting around for someone else. Maybe an activity like gymnastics might be a start. Another suggestion is your local city activities. Our City has pottery classes that the children love and open activities to non residents as well.

S.-
It crossed my mind after our last emails and now I am convined! We really must meet! I had the same idea of putting my 6 yr bipolar/adhd daughter in girl scouts. I even joined myself. I am an approved leader with no troop! And no support! LOL. Maybe we could pull something together to make a positive girl scouts experience for our girls. I think they would florish in a smaller group where they can develop closer friendships with less competition. If scouts is not an option we could come up with something ourselves. Maybe some kind of play date or girls day. I am a early childhood education college student and a preschool teacher so I'm pretty creative, I just need to meet moms in similar situations who would have the patience and understanding to help foster these types of friendships. Do you still have my email? If any other moms are interested in the palm bay area maybe we can set something up? Lret me know!

It may be a good idea to put her into dance or gymnastics, or some sort of sport, swimming , soccer....it's a great way to socialize but there's no pressure.
Good luck, and remeber six is still very young, and the fact that she is friends with the neighbor is great. Don't worry too much, or push her too much.

Try and get her together with other kids and you tag along. With you there it might help.

As far as Girl Scouts, I am a leader, so let me find out what council you are in and I will try and get you the contact info.

I know a few very productive adults who are ADHD...they do big things in small parts and are very organized. Keep things small and short term. it will be okay. a wall calander may help her feel better about the day....one with hourly time slots...

I don't know much about ADHD but if she doesn't like to really go out and play with friends, why not set up outtings. My daughter was an only child for a while and she was a loner. I had to introduce new girls to her cuz she was so shy. We did alot of things together because it was just me and her but I would bring other kids along just so she would learn to be social. She is still somewhat of a loner and is picky about her friends but it did help her.