10 Week Old and Horrible Car Rides - Please Offer Us Any Tips or Insights !

A friend had a similar problem and discovered that her daughter just did not like or wasn't comfortable in *that particular* brand of car seat. See if you can try out some friend(s) car seats (if they have similar aged babies) for a test drive, maybe?

I don't have a good idea for you, but I wanted to tell you that you are not alone. My friend and I had babies at the same time. Mine was collicy and grumpy -- hers a perfect angel. The only time that was different was in the car. Mine falls asleep in the car easily, even if he just had a nap. My friend's angel child HATES car rides from birth. She is over a year old and still hates them. My friend has had to arrange her car trips around naps-- if the baby is really tired and ready to sleep she will sleep in the car. Otherwise, non stop screaming. Good luck!

My daughter was the same. As soon as we got beyond the going-to-the-supermarket or going-to-pick-up-her-brother range, she would start to cry. She eventually grew out of it. Sorry for the good and bad news! You probably have to just wait for her to not hate it anymore! I don't think it lasted more than a few months.

You can try special snacks? Special toys for the car only?

M.

my son did the same thing! from week 2 to about 3 months old as soon as he went in the car seat he would cry and end up screaming by the time we got to where we were going. i was trying everything that i could think of. even holding my arm over his car seat (he sat facing backwards in the middle) until my arm was tingling from being a sleep to try and soothe him touching his arm. i finally bought a mirror that hangs on the back of the seat so that i could see him. then i bought a toy that hung from the top of the back seat and was remote controlled so that i could turn it on and off. it played music and lit up. it didn't work at first but finally if i left him alone (not trying to touch him and remind him i was there but not holding him) he started to pay attention to the toy. of course then the toy stopped working and we bought the same toy 3 times before i got one that worked longer then a week. but eventually he stopped crying at around 3 months old. then he started to sleep every time we were in the car. even for only 5 minutes he was out. so sadly it may just be that your daughter will need to grow out of this stage. but if it is any comfort...it won't last forever. i am a single 30-yr old mother and i sympathize. they grow out of stages and into new ones and sometimes you wish you could go back to the other stage! hope all works out for you.

My first daughter was the only one of my five children who cried in the car especially when we went around curves. In those days there were no good car seats and we used a car bed. She still gets some discomfort when her head is moved in different positions (she's in her mid fifties now.) Hard to describe. Not a serious problem for her, but maybe your little girl is objecting to the change of a gravity pull while not in your arms. Sounds like you have been extremely thorough in your research. But just wanted to mention that not ALL babies are lulled to sleep by car rides.

Hi J.,
My son did the same thing. He just had to grow out of it. Pretty much any errand he would cry hysterically, and just hated his carseat. Also hated pacifiers for around 3months at that time. But by around 4-5mos he started liking the carseat and taking a pacifier easier to soothe. All I can say is to take it easy, try to do some errands with your husband or wait till you can go on your own (and that makes them so much faster!) Good luck and it will end soon!

The only thing that stopped my son from screaming in the car was non-stop singing. It had to be me (my husband tried) and the songs had to be ones in Hebrew that I learned growing up (we had never attended services with the baby). If I sang songs to the radio, or just nursery songs, they had no effect, if I sang songs in Hebrew, he would quiet instantly.

I also noticed that if we stopped at a stop sign or light, the crying got louder - I think rear facing just didn't appeal to him (he's 10 now and still hates roller coasters). I don't remember exactly how old he was when I got to stop singing, but it could well have been at one year when we turned him around to face forward.

Good luck.

Also, check to see if the sun is in her eyes...

Dear J.,
Congratulations on your baby!
Have you tried putting your daughter in her car seat in the house? Just buckle her in with a little music on while you fold the laundry or something and see how she does. It might give you an idea as to whether or not it's the car seat or the motion of the car that she doesn't like. It might sound strange, but I've known babies that actually slept very well in their car seats, in the house. Maybe they felt secure, I don't know. I had a car seat that popped in and out of the car and if my son was asleep when we got home, I just carried the whole thing in and let him sleep.
If she does fine in the car seat in the house, it's likely the motion of the car that's upsetting her. If she still fusses in the car seat in the house, you might try a different one so see if she's more comfortable.
She's only 10 weeks old and she may not like being in the carseat OR the car, but it's obviously something she'll have to get used to.
It's so hard to hear our babies cry and not be sure what to do. But sometimes they just have to cry and moms have to get used to it.
My daughter was 3 days old on our first excursion. My milk came in. I didn't own anything big enough to wear that would fit around my chest (thank God for dad's shirts!). He was at work and I was in desperate need of a breast pump, or something. My baby and I headed out to find the nearest drug store. She was screaming, my boobs were ready to explode and I was sweating like I'd run a 10k. That was just getting out of the driveway.
I know how nerve wracking it is when your child is crying and you're trying to drive. I would definitely try a pacifier for in the car, I don't see what it would hurt and if it soothes her, it will make you less nervous and your outings will be safer. It may turn out that she just doesn't like being in the car and for now, all she knows to do is cry about it. You've been great about trying just about everything under the sun so if a different car seat doesn't do the trick, she just may not enjoy the car until she can face forward. Some babies don't like baths either, but they still have to get washed. And you still have to get from Point A to Point B on occasion, so there may be some car crying in your future.
When I was a little kid, there were no seat belt or car seat laws. I shudder to think of all the long trips we took and my mom made a "bed" on the floorboard of the car for my little sister or just held her. Little ones don't understand that car seats equal safety and it's not hurting them to be in one.
I hope you find something that works for you and I'm sure you'll see the day your daughter can enjoy getting to go in the car with you.

Best wishes!

Hello J.,
My daughter did the same thing. I do not remember how long it lasted, but it felt like forever. This is one thing that helped. I realized I was tightening her straps too tight. I would put her in, pull it so my fingers fit snugly behind the chest buckle thing and pulled it up to the arm pits, like it should be. What I didn't realize was as I was pulling the chest buckle to make sure it was tight enough, it was cinching (sp) at her waist. I can't remember if this solved the problem, or if she out grew it, but I do remember it make a difference.
Best of luck,
C.
PS. I posted the same question about 2 years ago, if you'd like me to fwd the responses to you that I got I can do that.

A couple of things to try - if she is still in the rear facing position, tape a large photo of your face on the back of the seat she is facing. Otherwise, tape it to the back of the seat in front of her sight of vision. Also, what is wrong with a pacifier. All human children have a built in sucking tendency which is directly tied to brain development and need until age four. The more they get their need taken care of now, the less they will need to be constantly trying to shove food, cigarettes and whatever else into their mouths as adults in order to still fulfill their basic physiological need. You can also buy different car mobiles in baby stores which attach to the front of the carseat and give the child something to focus on. She may also be getting carsick.

She might be bent to far in half... try putting a cloth diaper under her bum so she isn't bent so much. Other than that consider investing in a high-quality carseat that can be used backwards-facing so she's in more of an upright position and not so compacted. A mirror on the headrest will be good for you to see her in your rear-view and also for her to see your reflection and the reflection of other things. There isn't much to be seen from your back in an infant carrier.

My daughter cried every time we were in the care until she was allowed to go in a front facing carseat. I think she didn't like the fact that she couldn't see me. The only thing I could do to keep her quiet was to let her suck on my fingers while I drove (which was really tricky but she wouldn't take a paci). You can also try to put a car seat toy on the handle of her carseat. It's kind of the same concept as a mobile in the crib, only she can reach it to swat at it and such (come even have mirrors for her to see herself). If you ever have passangers, ask them if they will sit in the back with her so that she has someone she can see and talk to. Hopefully she grows out of this, but it's not always the case (as with my daughter). Good Luck!

Hi J.,
My son was the same way. We lived an hour outside of the nearest town and he never slept in the car. He just screamed and screamed. Unfortunately, it didn't change until he was a few years old. He suffers from slight carsickness and I never found anything to help with this. He also HATED anything that restrained him in any.As he got older, the music and those things really helped as he could sing along and be distracted. He is seven now and a champion traveller. I would suggest doing everything you can think of to settle your baby, as this will give you peace of mind, and if nothing helps, put on some music that makes you feel calm,turn it up, and know that your baby isn't being hurt, is as comfortable as can be, and is just mad about being in the car bound up in a seat and in motion. That may sound heartless and your babies cries are unbearable to hear, I know my sons were, but really, I found that the most important thing was that I was as relaxed as could be while driving. It will get better, it may just take some time.

Hi J.,

My baby had the same problem and it was just soooo miserable for me to go anywhere with her. She lasted about 10 minutes and then broke down into hysterics. I tried everything you listed and then some. Nothing worked. I even started bringing someone along with me to sit with her in the backseat. Still didn't help. I had done a lot of research about carseats and discovered that some babies need to be up higher in order to "see" out the window. Being able to see out the window helps discomfort from infant carsickness, something that is really difficult to diagnose. I thought that I would give a new carseat a try and it worked! We purchased the Britax Advocate (a convertable carseat) and what a difference it has made. My daughter is now 5 1/2 months old and does pretty well. The only time she gets upset is when she is getting hungry or when it is close to bedtime. She likes to be in the house by 7:30pm. Other than that, she does very well in the car now. I suggest that you look into the Britax line. It made all the difference in the world for our baby! Good luck!

I have so been there.

It was completely bewildering because I had heard all those stories about "we just put him in the carseat to sleep."

I tried all sorts of things and nothing worked all that well. Around 6 mos he got a little easier. I found a toy that he really liked (bumblebee flappy book). Music box music also would work. By one we could manage most trips under two hours without it being an ordeal. At two plus he climbs into the seat himself and calls it his special seat. Every stage seems like an eternity, but it is all so quick.

A friend told me that you just have to convince them that there is no getting out of the carseat. My mom also said something that helped. You know that your baby is not in pain or in danger, he is just letting you know he doesn't like this situation.

My son was the same way...he only stopped the crying/screaming during car rides when we switched him to a Britax Marathon carseat around 4-5 months old (he had already exceeded the height limit for the Graco infant car seat). I think the crying stopped because he was seated higher up and could see out the back window, and the seat was a lot more comfortable. Car rides were even better once he turned one and we faced his seat forward.

We also realized he cried hysterically when the sunlight was in his eyes...once we tinted the windows in our car, that problem was solved.

Good luck...I remember just how stressful it was trying to drive with a non-stop crying/screaming baby.

My 10 mo daughter had the same issue. What helped some is a car toy that stretched across in front of her that she could spin and play with...it plays music. Now she still fights the straps of the car seat, but is better now that she's big enough we could turn her seat forward facing. I still ride in the back with her when Dad is along to drive. Other than that, we've just had to tough it out to get her more used to it.

The 1st 3-4 months are always the hardest. My daughter hated her car seat for the 1st few months, but now at 5 months she does fine. I would highly recommend using the pacifier. There is no harm in them using it and it even reduces the risk of SIDS. We had a strap connected to the pacifier and we attached to the top of the car seat, so we could easily find it to give it back to her. Also, gas may be an issue so try Mylicon or gripe water before you leave and see if that helps.

All I can say is that is the worst feeling isn't it? I came close to nervous breakdowns when my daughter would scream in the car. I would pull over, convinced that the buckle was poking her or her strap was killing her. Every time, she was fine when I took her out, and then would usually start up again when I put her back in.
sigh.
I wish I could tell you something that helped. Only that it probably will pass. After a couple months the screaming sessions were much less for me. . .
One thing that did work, is I would pull over and nurse her and sometimes this would calm and satisfy her enough to get where I was going.
Good luck, and as others have said, this too will pass.

Oh how I feel your pain. That was my situation 9 years ago! My son was the only one that I knew who wouldn't sleep in the car but would cry hysterically until he was gagging. I did a bunch of research online, and from the advice of others, found out that it was the car seat that was uncomfortable. Had I known earlier...I went and bought a completely different one(Britax) and wa la the problem was solved. He still didn't sleep in the car because he's just not a sleeper but he also no longer cried.

Good luck,
J.

my godson was a mellow baby until he was put in the car. then he would melt down. he first got fussy, then frustrated, then mad. his cry reflected emotion. i tried several things but what worked for him was a mirror where he could see movement/himself, i put his carseat in the middle (more cumbersome for me) where he was more balanced (the seats go up on the side a little and i think he always felt like he was falling) and i put in a sunscreen on his side window to keep the sun off him. now he's a great traveler. he has a sister who rides w/us too. he's always happier when he has company. i think he gets lonely by himself.

blessings,
hope this helps.
N.
alameda

I have 5 children and 4 out of the 5 hated the carseat until about 5 months. We just tried to make trips quick, time them around naps and sometimes I turned the radio up a little so I wouldn't stress so much (I put it so all the sound was in the front as to not hurt the baby's ears). Sometime between 4 and 6 months they jsut kind of settled but still did not liek trips longer than 30 minutes, which most of ours are as we live in a rural area. If you can get the baby to take a paci sucking is very soothing. I even tried sitting in the backseat while my husband drove and leaning over the baby and breastfeeding. I ended up with a sore back and the baby ended up covered in breastmilk. You could try white noise there is even little lambs or bears you could attach to the carseat handle that play white noise but honestly it didn't work for us it just helped soothe us while we listened to the baby. One thing we noticed was that nighttime was always worse so we tried to always be home by 7 to avoid that.

H.

Greetings J. to the world and adventure of Parenthood:
As a mother of 5, a grandmother of several children and even been a foster mother amd done day care . I truely understand the fight you are in.
Our 4 1/2 month old grandchild will not go into the car at all without a fight if she is awake. This is the child that logged 3,000 miles by plane before she was 4 months old by the way! Let me share what thoe parents have done.
1. they make sure like you have all the nice things are taken care of first.
2. she found a tape of great stories and music that she keeps going in the car(veggie tales and jazz music) the veggie tales seems to speak a childs language that calms her. Then she had the greatest musical light up toy that attaches to the car seat that lights up with a bump in the road or touch from her hand. Got that at Babies R US.
3. they added soft straps of lambs wool so that the carseat straps were more comfortable. It really doesn't make a change in the car seat at all and again they got that at Babies R Us.
For emergancy sake they keep a pacifier because reality set in and although they didn't think their child would ever need it -- sanity made them see otherwise but only as a last resort. Give the baby another 2 months and you will see a different child, & by 6 months they are much more interactive
and interested with what is going on around them. Remember that making noise is the baby's only way to communicate and they will get the message across--- its just that with even my 5 when young I was nuts trryingg to figure what all the triggers were and how to keep the little one content. That is the great part of experiance as aparent because you are so much more relaxed as a grandparent! Good Luck , Nana G

From the time of our ride home from the hospital after he was born, my son has not been a big fan of the car seat at all. To this day (he is 2.75 yrs old), a trip longer than 45 minutes is sheer torture for all of us. He just hates to be strapped in to the seat. He never slept in a car seat and, even now, may nod off for 10 minutes at most.

All babies are different! You may have one who simply is not a fan of the car seat, like my son, or she may surprise you and calm down in the car after a while.

GL.

My god daughter had this problem when she was a baby. The screaming stopped once she was old enough to ride facing forward. Our best guess is that riding backwards made her motion sick. Sorry I don't have any great advice for what to do though...

We had the same problem she would only be in the car for a second and would start screaming. We ended up swaddling her and she was much better. You can put just a regular blanket under the arm straps strap your baby in and then put the blanket around her arms like a swaddle. The legs don't get swaddled.

My little girl is now 2 and 3 months old and she is great. But the screaming lasted a long time. If we didn't have the swaddle we were in trouble. She was a big swaddle and needed to be swaddled at nap and bed time till she was 10 months old.

Good luck

P.

i think some babies just deal better with the separation and/or backward movement of the car than others. my first kid was so bad with the car -- for months. things that do help -- rock that carseat! you know the infant seats are not buckled in the front part and if the baby is behind you, you can reach over your shoulder and rock the seat up and down. that is the most common remedy i hear of. my second kid responds almost instantly to the classical station. i keep it programmed and use it often. my first son was not happy until we turned him around and got him a tall seat. even then he wasnt that happy but at least he could see us. what i know is that it is the most nerve-wracking experience and unless you have reason to believe something is wrong that you can fix AND you have an extra 20 minutes to fix it, then resettle baby, just keep driving as long as you can. and do not hesitate for one minute if a pacifier does the trick. you will not create an addict, and really if your kid needed a paci for cartrips would you really be that devastated? it is so much more important for you to be calm while driving. another thing i do know is that all kids get over this, so just be patient.